Posts Tagged ‘Election 2016’

Open Limerick To Mike Pence

Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

Dear Mike Pence, I am duly impressed.
You bested Tim Kaine, I’ll attest.
You’re so cool under fire,
Too bad you’re a liar!
And since when is mendacity blessed?

Limerick Ode To Donald “The Genius” Trump

Sunday, October 2nd, 2016

The Donald’s a genius? Who knew
That huge losses are great to accrue?
Though I’d be morose
From a deficit close
To one billion, for Trump it’s a coup.

Looking At The Lookist (Limerick)

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

Donald swallowed Hill’s fat-shaming bait,
Which made him enraged and irate.
So he keeps lashing back
And confirms with each whack
That at lookism, Donald is great.

Going Mental (Limerick)

Sunday, September 25th, 2016

I keep pacing, and ev’rything’s grating.
I barely can handle the waiting.
I’m shaky and dazed.
My mental state’s crazed.
How fortunate I’M not debating!

Open Limerick To The Press (3-Verse)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Will the media (including debate moderators) finally do its job during the upcoming presidential debates? My 3-verse open limerick to the press begs the media to do exactly that:

Dear press, that low bar you employ
Judging Trump must be raised. Don’t be coy.
If he hides some bad traits
In these crucial debates,
Don’t applaud Donald’s “pivot” with joy!

If he fails to behave like a clown
And he brings his high lying rate down,
Doesn’t act like a mad man,
Or Trump-bus’ness ad man,
Don’t hand him a pageantry crown.

Stop pretending that Trump’s not an ass.
Stop giving The Donald a pass.
It’s time to admit
That he’s clearly unfit
To be prez. Do your job! Show some brass!

When It Comes To Charitable Giving, Trump’s Favorite Cause Is Himself (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 21st, 2016

Trump’s Foundation is largely a slush fund;
An illegal, though not very lush fund.
Although donors had meant
All their cash to be spent
Doing good, it’s a “Keep Donald Flush Fund.”

Don’t believe me? Need some background information? You owe it to yourself to start reading the Washington Post’s David Fahrenthold.

Transparency Madness (Limerick)

Thursday, September 15th, 2016

Trump’s demands of opponents are vast;
Full disclosure, or else he’s aghast:
Proof of birth, health, and files
From their schools and huge piles
Of their emails, each speech. Do it fast!

But want data from Donald? You chump!
Don’t expect any document dump
Of his taxes and health
Or his “billions” in wealth;
Full disclosure’s for folks Not-Named-Trump.

Limerick Ode To Putin-Loving Trump

Friday, September 9th, 2016

Donald’s concept of leadership’s thuggery
And his chief expertise is skulduggery.
Run our nation? That guy?
Just the thought makes me cry!
Trump belongs in a well-padded snuggery.

Read His Lips: Trump Isn’t A Racist (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 24th, 2016

The Donald is mad — seeing red
Over claims that he’s gotten in bed
With supremacist wacks.
Seems his message to blacks
Is “forget each damn thing that he’s said.”

Trump Wrote Another Limerick!

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

The media’s biased, ill-bred,
And in bed with that crook who’s ahead.
If I lose, it’s the press
Who’s at fault for my mess.
How dare they report what I’ve said!

The Donald Trump Threat (Limerick)

Thursday, August 11th, 2016

The Donald’s behavior is reckless.
It proves without doubt that he’s feckless.
His White House flirtation’s
A threat to all nations,
And I’d wager that Trump is full-deck-less.

Trump’s Already Making Excuses For Losing The Election (Limerick)

Monday, August 1st, 2016

There’s no end to the lies and abuses
That “The Donald” so often produces.
Here’s his latest deflection:
He fears the election
Is “rigged.” Trump — “Tycoon of Excuses!”

Donald’s Already Lying About Debates (Limerick)

Saturday, July 30th, 2016

I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.

Imaginary Dialogue

Friday, July 29th, 2016

Imaginary (but frighteningly plausible) dialogue:

Mom: “How was school today?”

Son: “Some kids said really mean things about me! And you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to hit ’em — especially one real little guy.”

Mom: “I didn’t raise you to run around hitting people.”

Son: “But they were mean to me! Especially the little one!”

Mom: “And don’t make fun of short people!”

Son: “I wanted to hit this one guy so hard, his head would spin, and he wouldn’t know what the hell happened.”

Mom: “Last warning! If you don’t stop reading Donald Trump’s Twitter feed, I’m taking away your iPhone!”

Putin and Me, a Limerick by Donald Trump

Thursday, July 28th, 2016

Are you confused by the Trump/Putin relationship? The Donald has helpfully written us this limerick:

Meet Putin? I did not … or did.
No one hacked, just to help with my bid.
But what a great plan!
Hey Putin, my man,
Hack those emails that Hillary hid.

Limerick Ode To Melania’s Convention Speech

Tuesday, July 19th, 2016

Melania’s speech was revealing;
In her push to make Donald appealing,
She stole lines from Michelle
About values. Oh well,
This confirms that both Trumps value stealing.

Open Limerick To Chris Christie

Saturday, July 16th, 2016

Dear Chris, though you put up a fight,
Pence swiped that Veep slot. What a slight!
I am betting you’re mad.
If you weren’t a cad
I’d feel pity, instead of delight.

Open Letter To Bernie Sanders

Sunday, June 26th, 2016

Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.

But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.

So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!

And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!

And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,'” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.

PS: You LOST!!!

Donald “Really Rich!” Trump Wants “Corrupting” Cash

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016

“I self-fund cuz I’m rich. Really rich!
I’m too rich to be bought!” was Trump’s pitch.
“Keep your money,” he said.
But that policy’s dead
In a typical Trump bait and switch.

Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)

Monday, April 25th, 2016

Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.