Archive for the ‘House & Home Humor’ Category
Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
Déjà Views
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I could swear that I’ve been here before,”
Said the gal as she stepped through the door.
“And this déjà vu sense
Is making me tense.
I’m not sure I can take any more.”
“Just ignore it,” responded her mate.
“You’ve never spent time in this state.
It’s the house of our dreams,
And that’s why it seems
So familiar. Let’s buy it. It’s fate.”
(Inspired by Writers Island’s déjà vu prompt. And speaking of prompts, there’s still plenty of time to participate in my latest poetry prompt. How do you participate? Just write a limerick or haiku about poetry or writing and use Mr. Linky to post your themed link.)
Tags: Déjà Vu, Home Buying, House Buying, Poetry Prompt
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 5 Comments »
Friday, March 14th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is yards and/or gardens. First, my limerick:
I admit that I’m bad with a rake,
And disposing of leaves makes me quake.
So that pile—I ignored it,
But then was rewarded
With saplings—benign neglect’s wake.
And here’s my haiku:
Milk, juice, chicken breasts
Plunged into backyard snow drifts:
My fridge on the fritz.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about yards and/or gardens. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
Tags: Backyard, Benign Neglect, Fridge, Gardening Humor, Kitchen, Plants, Refrigerator Poetry, Snow Verse, Trees
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Gardens / Plant Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 16 Comments »
Monday, April 9th, 2007
Tacky Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
These armchairs are tacky and lack
Sound support for my weary old back.
Their seats are too deep
And their prices too steep.
Ow! What’s this in my tushie? A tack!
Tags: Back Pain, Chairs, Furnishings, Furniture Humor, House Decorating Humor, Shopping Satire
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, House & Home Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Tacky Verse
Monday, March 5th, 2007
Dog Days Of Roofing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our roofers must enter your yard,
But their access is blocked by your guard—
That gargantuan Doberman,
Feared by most sober men—
And boozing pre-roofing is barred.
Tags: Animal Satire, Booze Humor, Canine Humor, Construction Humor, Contractors Humor, Dog Humor, Home Repair Humor, House Repairs, Pets Verse, Roofing Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Real Estate Humor | Comments Off on Dog Days Of Roofing
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
Antique Antics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is this lampshade antique or just old?
They tell me it’s rare. I’m not sold.
But I had it appraised
And was rather amazed:
It’s worth thousands, though covered in mold.
Tags: Antiques Humor, Appraisals, Mold, Money Satire, Shopping Fun
Posted in Business Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 16th, 2007
Here’s another limerick about our recent New York snow and ice storm:
The Up Side Of Winter
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Outside our abode, it ain’t nice;
There’s snow on the ground and there’s ice.
But I’m snug in my house—
Just me and my spouse
And our mouse. Leave this haven? No dice!
Tags: Home, House, Ice, Marriage, Seasons, Snow, Snow Poetry, Storm, Weather Humor, Winter
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Computer Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, House & Home Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on The Up Side Of Winter
Thursday, October 26th, 2006
Being a feminist, even a moderate feminist like me, can make it tough to dodge duties unsuited to the squeamish. In my case, squirrel removal.
Like most people, I prefer my squirrels outdoors. So I wasn’t exactly pleased when a squirrel decided to invade my turf. One morning last winter, when I was barely awake and shuffling down our basement stairs, something with a bushy tail flashed past me, mere inches from my toes. So I ask you, what’s a feminist to do? Yell hysterically? Scream for help? Well, … yes. I also scrambled up the steps, slammed the door, and told myself the squirrel would find its own way out.
For the next few hours I wondered what my squirrel was up to. I even tried to talk myself into marching downstairs and facing him down. Or creeping downstairs and checking things out. Or opening the cellar door just a crack, peering down the steps, and shutting the door fast before the squirrel became suspicious.
What kind of feminist was I, I asked myself, as I paced a floor above the intruder. Surely Gloria Steinem would stand her ground against a tiny rodent. Thank goodness I wasn’t famous enough to be a Rush Limbaugh target. “Femi-Nazi hypocritical wimp Madeleine Begun Kane is ascared of a wee little squirrel,” he’d surely say if he knew I existed. … (A Squirrely Lesson is continued here.)
UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!
Tags: Basement, Cellar, Exterminators, Femi-Nazi Humor, Feminism Humor, Home Ownership, Husband Wife Humor, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Rush Limbaugh, Squirrel Appreciation Day, Squirrel Humor, Trapping Animals
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Feminist Satire, House & Home Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
The road to buying a house is paved with dwindling bank accounts, devious brokers, and home owners who (you hope) are desperate to sell. Yes, it’s a challenge. But with the help of these easy to follow instructions, you can negotiate your way into unthinkable debt:
1. Decide you must buy a house because your present one is:
a. too small;
b. too large;
c. non-existent … (Hapless Home Buyer’s Guide is continued here.)
Tags: Bank Humor, Broker Humor, Budget Humor, Finance Humor, Home Buying, House Buying, Money & Finance Humor, Mortgage Humor, Real Estate
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, House & Home Humor, How-To Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Money & Finance Humor, Real Estate Humor, Self-Help Humor, Social Satire | 1 Comment »
