Limerick of the Week (101)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Found my dog in her pretty bow tie
Fast asleep near a half-eaten pie.
I said “Fifi, confess!
It was you made this mess!”
But you know how those sleeping dogs lie.

Congratulations to Edmund Conti, who wins the Special Valentine’s Day-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

I don’t have a Valentine card,
Though I searched on the whole boulevard.
There were none on the shelf,
So I wrote this myself
And I’m hoping I won’t be dis-bard.

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A man who was wearing a tie
Thought he looked good enough to get by.
He got taken away
By the ol’ TSA
“’Cause you’re not wearing pants, sir – that’s why.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Edmund Conti, Lois Douthitt, Ira Bloom, Bob Dvorak, and Craig Dykstra. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Sue Dulley:

A tourist was wearing a tie.
She wanted to look like a guy.
So why did we fail
To see her as male?
She asked for directions, that’s why.

David Lefkovits:

A man who was wearing a tie
Remarked, with a gleam in his eye:
“Although I’m well-dressed,
I’m not as repressed
As these regiment stripes would imply.”

Edmund Conti:

A fellow was wearing a Thai
Round his neck and was wondering why.
Can it be that all these
Unrestrained Siamese
Have trouble just saying “Good-bye”?

Lois Douthitt:

As the pirate was trying to tie
Up his wench, she refused to comply.
“Prone again on the bed?
I want face-up instead!
We will—arrgh!—never see aye-to-aye.”

Ira Bloom:

A jarhead, while wearing a tie,
Put his hand on a young lady’s thigh.
He was somewhat a louse,
As she wasn’t his spouse:
“Always ready” but not “semper fi.”

Bob Dvorak:

A fellow was wearing a tie:
Very long, it ran down to his fly.
Ask him why, he just sighs
And then gently replies,
“Comes in handy, to wipe her mouth dry.”

Craig Dykstra:

I got asked by a guy in a tie
Where my sexual preferences lie.
Was I straight? Was I gay?
“Well I guess I would say
That I do just enough to get bi.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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4 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (101)”

  1. Jane Hoffman says:

    Well, it looks like a lot of “ties” for HMs this week, and there should have been as there were so many good ones this. Also double VD week congrats to Edmund and triple to Craig!!!

  2. Craig says:

    Thanks, Mad – a fun week!

  3. Lois Douthitt says:

    Thanks for the recognition–I had a lot of fun with this contest!

  4. madkane says:

    You’re welcome Lois and Craig! Congratulations again to all of the winners!