The Role Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was playing a role…*


A fellow was playing a role…*


A woman was eating a roll….*


A fellow was eating a roll….*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

The Role of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was playing a role,
Pretending she golfed and could bowl.
But the sports-loving guy
She was out with could spy
And pin down her claim’s obvious hole.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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95 Responses to “The Role Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Sally Franz says:

    A woman was playing a role
    Her audience she hoped to cajole
    But where there had been a packed room
    Her performance left a vacuum
    She sucked, and that’s not hyperbole

  2. Claudia says:

    a woman was playing a role
    shoveled kilos of coals
    to keep the train running
    and it really was stunning
    that she didn’t burn her soles

  3. You’re the frosting, and I am the roll
    I’m the sum of all parts, you’re the whole
    When you sigh, angels swoon
    You’re the sun, I’m the moon
    You’re appealing, but I’m on parole

  4. Diane Groothuis says:

    An actor while playing a role
    Forgot lines in the part of “King Cole”
    “I’m embarrassed you see
    I just needed to pee
    So it forced me to borrow His bowl”.

  5. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman was playing a role
    And was asked to take a stroll
    She crossed the road
    Saved a toad
    Yet now the bells for her toll

  6. Gary Hallock says:

    A woman frets over her roll
    “Fine dining,” she says “took its toll
    Over par at each course
    For I eat like a horse
    Now I look like I’m ready to foal”

  7. Eugene Fedorov says:

    Young Hera was playing a role
    That trusted her Zeus on parole
    But acted unfair
    And kept his affair
    Well under her strictest control

  8. colonialist says:

    A woman was playing a role
    For her public with heart and with soul,
    Though it wasn’t quite Shakespeare,
    She had what it takes, dear,
    To prance and to dance at a pole!

    A woman was playing a role,
    But finds herself out on the dole,
    Her innocent acts
    Were disproved by the facts
    When all of the takings she stole.

  9. brian miller says:

    a woman was playing a role
    that began to take over her whole
    she thought she was
    reality did fuzz
    and her own personality was stole

  10. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was eating a roll
    ‘Side a lady on a beautiful knoll
    She sidled on up
    To his lips put a cup
    They embraced til out of control.

  11. John Sardo says:

    A woman was eating a roll
    Said honey I’ll swallow it whole.
    But you need to entice
    Get me off of this ice
    Can’t make love in a hole at the Pole.

  12. Craig says:

    A young intern’s career on a roll
    Was cut short of achieving her goal
    It seems Senator Bob
    Was a lustful old slob
    And the poor gal got caught on the Dole.

  13. John Sardo says:

    A woman was playing a role
    Of a character quite droll.
    Caught by the gendarme
    Who twisted her arm
    T’was a spy, many secrets she stole.

  14. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow was playing a role,
    In a con not unlike “whack-a-mole,”
    Where he moved people’s cash,
    From their pile to his stash.
    I hear soon he’ll be out on parole.

  15. WalterMatthau says:

    A woman was eating a roll
    Desire then rose in her soul
    Got all worked up
    Spilled her teacup
    She sure took some time to console

  16. Ira Bloom says:

    A lady was eating a roll,
    But it soon spiraled out of control,
    Creating a vortex;
    Her cerebral cortex,
    Was sucked up into a black hole.

  17. Diane Groothuis says:

    Obama was eating a roll
    But he shoved the last piece down a hole
    Saying Chef please don’t be hurt
    I just loved the dessert
    Coz chocolate is good for the sou

  18. Kevin Ahern says:

    A woman is playing a role
    Getting tourists to Asia’s her goal
    The simple idea
    Advance her Korea
    Making bucks as she’s selling her Seoul

  19. Mark Kane says:

    Still dancing the old Rock n Roll,
    As he tosses about his long stole.
    But come on Sir Mick,
    The same tired schtick?
    You’re starting to look like a troll.

  20. rbasler says:

    A woman was cramming a roll
    Down the depths of her gaping cake hole
    Cinnamon buns –
    The stickiest ones –
    Were the trade that she made for her soul

  21. Mark Kane says:

    A porn star was up for a role,
    Till she noticed the size of his pole.
    Never one to be shy,
    She confirmed with the guy,
    In this scene she must swallow it whole?

  22. Cowtown says:

    A fellow was playing a role,
    Of Saint Nick’s helping elf from North Pole,
    He’d play “Energy Traders,”
    With the farty first graders.
    “If you give Santa gas, you’ll get coal.”

  23. patience and the prodigal says:

    from Patience;

    A woman was eating a roll
    she bought from an immigrant Pole,
    she thought “its pierogi”
    but the Pole was a bogie
    his mackerel prawned off as a sole!

    and The Prodigal:

    A fella was playing a role
    as Black Beauty, that elegant foal,
    He overused his cane
    and distroyed his own mane,
    No Oscar; just drawing the dole.

  24. Laurie Baker says:

    Woody Gurthrie was eating a roll
    When in blew that pesky dust bowl
    So he wrote a sad song
    And with the Oakies along,
    Migrated to the next watering hole.

  25. A woman was “eating a roll”
    That’s sex talk for “pollish the pole”
    And while I’m not fluent
    “Mamada”s congruent
    With both phrases en espanol

  26. The hillsides may hummock and roll
    And valleys will basin and bowl
    But as far as I see
    There forever will be
    In the world, only one grassy knoll

  27. William Tell and his son on a roll
    At the Lucky Strike Lanes set a goal
    T’ at least spare every frame
    But their team had no name
    So we don’t know for whom the Tells bowl

  28. Willy Turner (EWWBL) says:

    A hustler was playing a role,
    Said he had no idea how to bowl,
    But after a score
    Of two-sixty-four,
    He ended up wrapped ’round a pole.

    So the hustler then tried a new role,
    Printing money was now his main goal.
    But, soon he’d discover
    His bills were like rubber
    And they bounced him right into the gaol.

    While in jail he thunk up a new role:
    “Warden, I’m a good friend of Bob Dole.”
    Said Warden, “Get lost.”
    Back in cell got tossed.
    With a future that’s black as hard coal.

    Oh, that hustler with all his new roles,
    Thought he’d be rich and driving a Rolls.
    Instead he’s a flunky
    Works days like a donkey
    And nights for those cons with big poles.

    Steve Withred, ’twill be quite a chore
    To top your rhyme ’bout the Tell’s score.
    But, oh what a shame
    That they have no name,
    Worse than if arrow missed apple’s core.

  29. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman while playing a role
    Cuffed her man to a barbershop pole.
    To cut this tale short
    I’m relieved to report
    Straight-edge shaving uncovered the mole.

  30. zongrik says:

    When choosing to eat an egg roll
    consider the calorie toll.
    11 grams of fat —
    just think about that!
    if you must limit bad Cholesterol.

    for original artwork that goes with this and a reading see Egg Roll Limerick

  31. An actor was playing the role
    Of nasty pugnacious old troll
    By shaking his spear
    At everyone near
    With Shakespeare his ultimate goal.

  32. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was playing a role
    Of being a merry old soul.
    But found he’s not very
    Inspired as merry
    And asked, “Would you settle for droll?”

  33. Edmund Conti says:

    An actor was playing a role
    And not very well on the whole.
    He missed all his cues
    And received lusty boos.
    Next time, Sir, don’t take on Guignol.

  34. Diane Groothuis says:

    Well I believe in re-cycling…big wink

    Two cyclists rehearsing their role
    At”somebody’s” front door spy hole
    Say “Open a crack
    And there’ll be no lack
    of butter to put on your roll”.

  35. Tom Harris says:

    The woman in a high-class role,
    With a pince nez, purse and a stole,
    Really did look the part.
    Too bad she let a fart;
    The big blast took a heavy toll.

  36. Craig says:

    A golfer was out on a roll
    With a nympho who wanted his pole.
    Had sex thrice on the floor
    But she still wanted more.
    He yelled “What the hell’s par for this hole?!”

  37. Kanchan Bhattacharya says:

    A fellow was playing a role
    Of Satan eating in worm hole
    When the worm
    Raised a storm
    And yelled “God damn your bloody soul!”

  38. Mark Kane says:

    In the night we’ll still bump, grasp and roll,
    Till we’re naked and out of control.
    After seizing our pleasure,
    We’ll repeat for good measure.
    But at our age, this fun takes its toll.

  39. Edmund Conti says:

    I guess I can’t play out my role
    Obeying the rhyming patrol
    I fear I’m a tone-
    deaf rolling stone.
    Foregoing the pun, rock and roll.

  40. Johanna Richmond says:

    “Baking Bread” Instructions for Old Folks

    Step ONE: stroke, cajole, squeeze and roll
    Soft dough with an eye to the goal.
    Step TWO; watch it rise,
    Not firm? improvise;
    Preheat, yelling: “Fire in the hole!”

    Put your loaf in the oven; don’t wait.
    All is lost if’n you hesitate.
    Plunge it in, say a prayer,
    Sooth your bread (“Nice in there!”)
    Got it in? That’s enough. Now deflate.

  41. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman was eating a roll*
    When her finger slipped into a hole…
    She’d been kneading a bun
    And thought, “Might be fun
    To hear doughboy my talents extol.”

  42. A woman was playing a role,
    In spike heels, false nails and mink stole
    A heel broke, she stumbled,
    Changed styles as she mumbled
    It’s best to wear pants and go bowl.

  43. Green Speck says:

    A woman was eating a roll
    Hungry after a long day’s stroll
    It tasted delicious
    Her dieting, fictitious
    She gobbled some more, losing control.

  44. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Alice was on a big roll
    When she tumbled down that rabbit hole
    She saw cards and mad hats
    And cross Cheshire cats
    And snails slowing a whole whiting shoal

  45. Carolyn Henly says:

    An actor was given the role
    Of the cowardly clown named Parolles.
    But the job he did fail
    And he then went to jail
    For his shockingly profane paroles.

  46. John Larkin says:

    A fellow was eating a roll
    while trying to pay a bridge toll.
    The car hit a bump
    which made his arm jump
    and that’s why he swallowed it whole.

  47. JulesPaige says:

    Belated Valentine Theme:

    A fellow was playing a role
    T’wasn’t the reviewers hearts he stole
    When on bended knee
    Opening night, after the finale
    He proposed to one gal, his heart whole

    (c) JP/davh

  48. Sue Dulley says:

    A hooker was eating a roll
    With some soup in a crusty bread bowl.
    “That’s way too much bread
    For one lunchtime” she said
    “But I’ll soon work it off on my stroll”.

  49. Sue Dulley says:

    An actress made up for a role
    In red lipstick and one tiny mole
    Kept the script for her part,
    Won a young actor’s heart,
    So the show was not all that she stole.

  50. Sue Dulley says:

    A joker was playing the role
    Of a gravedigger digging a hole.
    The doc was called in
    To check out his skin
    Because he had found a large mole.

  51. Sue Dulley says:

    A man played a minor (wink) role
    As a Yorkshireman facing the dole.
    “If t’pit gets shut down
    There’s no ‘ope for this town
    And we’ll all be sunk deeper in th’ ole”.

  52. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A cantering fantasy role:
    Riding bareback through hollow and knoll.
    A gallop: More speed,
    Yielding all to the steed.
    And a stumble? Dismounting to foal.

  53. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Deathbed suitors all playing the role
    Of his partner, a wealthy old soul
    Hones his radar for tarts—
    One arrives, one departs—
    And he calls it “heir traffic control.”

  54. WalterMatthau says:

    Paying 10 bits for a roll
    Ed looked way out of control
    His aim was awry
    With tear in her eye
    she said that’s the twelve-dollar hole

  55. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Some fossil requested a roll
    Of film from a digital soul,
    Unripe little brat,
    Who said, “Batt’ry with that?
    Or’s your camera powered by coal?”

  56. When a singer’s rehearsing a role
    “Know every song backwards!” he’s tol’.
    That’s why tenors hunger
    For “Springtime Than Younger”
    And basses for “River Man Ol’ “

  57. Tim James says:

    I Spy a nut playing a role:
    My UNCLE, a “CIA mole.”
    He Bonds to his visions
    Of Impossible Missions.
    He’s Smart, but he’s out of Control.

  58. Craig says:

    Aretha just hates her old role
    So she drinks and gets out of control.
    She’ll curse and she’ll fight
    And make insults all night
    Meet Aretha, the Queen of Ass-soul.

  59. Mark Kane says:

    The cop thought this couple might roll,
    And give up the goods that they stole.
    First he showed wife with Jack,
    Then Tim never looked back,
    He just pinned the whole crime on Nicole.

  60. Mark Kane says:

    More ” Baking Bread Instructions” for Old Folks:

    Still kneading more? Well let it rest,
    Then start again adding more zest.
    Let sleeping dough rise,
    Cause that would be wise,
    These second times often are best!

  61. Edmund Conti says:

    He just wanted something to roll
    And invented the wheel. How droll!
    He thought he would be
    So entirely free
    But then someone invented the toll.

  62. Edmund Conti says:

    An actress was playing a role
    And played it with heart and with soul.
    And (Heaven forgive ‘er!)
    Played the role with her liver,
    Her stomach, her kidney, her hole.

  63. Teamea says:

    The woman greedily ate the roll
    that was kept by her cereal bowl
    it tasted so nice
    full of chillie and spice
    Oh!on her stomack did it take a toll!

  64. Craig says:

    In fairy tale verse there’s a role
    For a fella they call Old King Cole.
    He called for his fiddler,
    But only to diddle ‘er
    That’s why he’s a merry old soul.

  65. Diane Groothuis says:

    Cinderella was eating a roll
    In the kitchen while sweeping up coal”
    But in walked the Prince
    And Oh boy did he wince
    When the slipper came apart at the sole

  66. Edmund Conti says:

    An actress was dressed for her role
    Playing Blanche who was not a Creole.
    But the unwanted guest
    Soon felt underdressed.
    Seems Stella had stolen her stole.

  67. Sue Dulley says:

    A child was dressed up for the role
    Of a Baltimore (bird) oriole.
    The colours were right
    For Halloween night
    So candy flowed into his bowl.

  68. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    The Goal not The Pole 19.02.2013

    A woman was playing a role
    Pretending she was her son’s goal
    The lad said: “look Molly!”
    And kicked such a volley
    His mom took a roll to the pole.

  69. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    It’s too late when he sees there’s no roll,
    And he’s anal retentive, poor soul.
    Might nature recall
    What once she let fall
    And he suck it back in from the bowl?

  70. An actress was seeking a role
    A particular part was her goal
    She really did want
    To play a croissant
    She didn’t want just any old roll!

  71. Some folks say of the ‘ma and pa’ role
    “That’s when movies were healthsome and whole”
    And we know that they mean
    There’d be blacks on the screen
    If a Kettle got covered with coal

  72. Charley Simmons says:

    A woman was eating a roll
    That was baked in the woods by a troll
    It was full of black magic
    And her life became tragic
    When she found she’d turned into a mole.

  73. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young sportsman playing the role
    Of an umpire was feeling the toll
    He slipped on a thistle
    And dropped his new whistle
    Then bent over and shot the first goal.

  74. Diane Groothuis says:

    I’m tired o stories re roll
    Of lavatory paper and bowl
    Please don’t talk to me
    Re “doubleyousee’
    I suggest you re-elevate your goal.

  75. Johanna Richmond says:


    Your anal retentive should roll
    Beyond such a self-centered goal.
    In this world full of crap,
    You can’t put a cap
    On the sphincters you need to control.

  76. Mark Kane says:

    The Red Sox they’re on quite a roll,
    Their talent and grace we extol,
    But then we remember,
    As we enter September,
    Like clock work they’ll lose all control.

  77. Johanna Richmond says:

    You jokers are all on a roll,
    Making potty poetics the soul
    Of our limerick joy
    What a gas! (Or a ploy
    To eliminate turds from our whole.)

  78. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    You’d have thought he was playing the role
    Of blind soccer announcer, poor soul.
    Before it was in—
    Unforgiveable sin—
    He’d erupt, blurting “Goooooaaaaal!”

  79. Tim James says:

    What a letdown was Ms. Jackson’s role
    In the 2004 Super Bowl.
    I’ve examined YouTube —
    You can barely see boob!
    (And certainly no aureole!)

  80. Diane Groothuis says:

    The Madden twins are on a roll
    When touring the world as a whole
    If you have enough energy
    You might prefer Benji
    But others would much prefer Joel.

  81. A woman was playing a role,
    ’bout a stripper who danced ’round a pole.
    When she fell on her butt,
    a loud fart she did cut.
    Such embarrassment was not her goal.

  82. Diane Groothuis says:

    While reading the old Ed C Scroll
    Missed the news re the Ed Conti roll
    He’s definitely not canned
    So bring out the band
    Congratulations from near the South Pole.

  83. yt cai says:

    The gator took Joe on a death roll
    A future meal was his sure goal
    tho the action got rough
    future victim was buff
    Now Joe’s baggage is out of control

  84. yt cai says:

    The horses were having a roll
    Flying hay was out of control
    the milkers all mooed
    while the mare cooed
    Now they’re stuck raising a foal

  85. Craig says:

    I just couldn’t get on a roll
    This week I fell short of my goal
    Which is: “Be so damn funny
    That Mad gives me money.”
    (Or at least get the ol’ gal to LOL)

  86. Charley Simmons says:

    A man who was playing a role
    Won an oscar portraying a troll
    In “Three Billygoats Gruff”
    The scene got a bit rough
    Being butted 10 takes took it’s toll.

  87. You click on a link and “Rick Roll”
    Rick Astley has taken control
    An internet prank
    Where the video stank
    And the joke never seems to get ol’

    And, possibly the best Rick Roll of all time!

  88. A fellow was playing the role
    Of excutive, long-cherished goal.
    “When I met with resistance
    I sought Satan’s assistance;
    Oh, and all that I paid was my soul!”

  89. Carolyn Henly says:

    An actor was fired from the role
    Of a bullfighter overly droll.
    For he just couldn’t say
    Words that ended in é
    So his “Bravo” coming out “Ole.”

  90. Carolyn Henly says:

    Sorry! Left out a word in the last line. The correct version is:

    An actor was fired from the role
    Of a bullfighter overly droll.
    For he just couldn’t say
    Words that ended in é
    So his “Bravo” kept coming out “Ole.”

  91. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The stadium started to roll—
    A great ball taking lives as its toll.
    Said a lone engineer:
    “I’d warned you, a sphere
    Is the sum of a dome on a bowl.”

  92. Diane Groothuis says:

    Humpty Dumpty was playing a role
    Of an egg on a wall by a pole
    He said as he modelled
    “By Gad I’ll be coddled
    If I slip off and land in the bowl”

  93. Mark Kane says:

    Oh Daniel was born for this role.
    As Lincoln he showed his control
    Of the script and the story,
    With all of it’s glory.
    No wonder he’s one we extol.

  94. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A deaf old hooker having a roll
    Cried out, and her customer Noel
    Said, “Are you distraught?”
    She said, “No, I just thought
    Instead of paying you’d gone for a stroll.

  95. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, the Limerick Repartee Award Winners, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 102.

    But don’t worry — you can still have lots of limerick fun, because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Drone.