Mad Kane’s Political Madness

No, I’m not  talking about Alberto Gonzales, although Gonzo seems to be staying too –  so far, at least.   I’m referring to yet another Bush administration miscreant:  the ethically challenged World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz and Bush’s stubborn insistence on keeping Wolfowitz on the job:

He’s staying!  So, there! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Will Wolfowitz finally go?
“Not a firing offense,” argues Snow.
At the World Bank, he’ll stay.
Cave to pressure?  No way!
He’s our guy!  We’re in charge!  It’s our show!

UPDATE: My good pal Skippy is having a fun contest!  Having heard about the Clinton campaign’s efforts to get the public to help choose an official campaign song, Skippy decided to provide some Skippy-style assistance.  

Technorati Tags: Paul Wolfowitz Satire, World Bank President, Tony Snow, Bush Loyalty Satire, Bush Stubbornness, Ethics Violations

What important business did President Bush conduct this weekend? He waved a small stick  –  a conductor’s baton — while pretending to conduct a symphony orchestra:

JoAnn Falletta was doing what a conductor should — concentrating on the orchestra in front of her. No wonder it took her a few seconds on Sunday to realize someone behind her was motioning for a try.   

“Smiling at me kind of devilishly,” Falletta said.

She gave him her baton and stepped aside.

Gesturing exuberantly, the president led the orchestra during part of its performance of “Stars and Stripes Forever.”

The article goes on to quote Falletta as saying Bush knew the score and conducted with “panache.”

Gimme a break! Marches like this Sousa perennial barely need a conductor — just somebody to signal the piece’s beginning and end.  

On the other hand, Bush’s conducting had to be better than his dancing.

Full disclosure: I played oboe under JoAnn Falletta’s baton many years ago, when she was assistant conductor of the Nassau Symphony Orchestra in Long Island, New York, and I was its principal oboist.

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Monica Goodling’s ‘Church Chats’ With DOJ Applicants
* Bill Maher’s New Rules
* people’s 50 sexiest candidates
* Gonzo-a-Go-Go
* Iraqi Parliament Sets Timetable For Withdrawal … For Themselves!
* Air America’s Champaign Flight Crashes
* Worldwide Opinions
* Carnival of Commentary
* Carnival of Principled Government (in the form of a fun quiz)

UPDATE: My latest limerick contest is over and the winners list and winning entries are here. Another limerick writing contest will be coming soon on my other blog.

Technorati Tags: Bush Conducts, JoAnn Falletta, Stars And Stripes Forever, Bush Conducting Orchestra, Conductor’s Baton, Bush Dancing, Nassau Symphony Orchestra, Long Island, New York, Symphony Music, principal oboist

Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered  George Bush about Iraq and had  the “most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.”  And Tim Russert’s breathless reports about this so-called  “defining pivotal moment” in the Iraq debate (and his media echo chamber) merely enable these eleven endangered Republicans to dupe their constituents into believing that they’re finally doing something about the war in Iraq. 

All eleven voted with the President on the Iraq war spending bill and the redeployment bill that came before Congress this week. So woopdidoo!  And a limerick too:

Ode To the Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Eleven Republicans bray:
“We told Dubya what’s what — had our say.
We critiqued Bush’s war
And we gave him what-for.”
Then they all vote the President’s way. 

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, President Bush, Republicans Humor, Media Echo Chamber, Unvarnished Conversation, Defining Pivotal Moment, Gang Of Eleven, GOP, Tim Russert

George Dubya, our swaggering action-figure president, has dubbed himself “The Commander Guy.”  Okay, that’s absurd enough.  But here’s the part you may have missed:

I’m Dub, The Commander Guy.
Don’t care if a zillion die.
I’ll do what I please,
Cuz I own all the keys
To the White House.
And that’s no lie!

(Sorry — just one verse of this Popeye The Sailor Man spoof, cause I already did one full-length Bush/Popeye song parody early in Bush’s presidency.)

Technorati Tags: George Bush Humor, Popeye The Sailor Man, The Commander Guy, Action Figure President

President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill.  Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. And that just ain’t gonna happen.

No way will George W. Bush clean up his own mess!  He’s never done it before, so why start now?  Bush has always used the here … catch approach to life, kicking the can down the road and sticking somebody else with problems he created.

Bush’s Iraq Strategy: Here … Catch!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kick the can down the road—that’s the plan:
Stick the war mess on some other man.
Wreak much havoc abroad
And at home. Oh my Gawd!
Then say, “Catch! Fix Iraq and Iran.”

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Hillary’s Missed Opportunity To Obtain A ‘Stranglehold’ On The Nomination
* Latest Carnival of Satire
* Carnival of the Feminists
* Caption Contest Day at the Mattress Police
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Carnival of Family Life
* Carnival of the Storytellers
* Writerly Types Carnival
* Carnival of Satire
* Carnival of Conflict
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Carnival on Observations of Life
* Best of Me Symphony
* This Is Not My Country
* Worldwide Opinions 

UPDATE: How could I forget to mention this? I’m running another limerick contest on my other blog. The theme is mothers and there are cash prizes for the two best limericks!

Technorati Tags: The Global War On Terror Supplemental, Iraq War, George W. Bush  Satire, Iraq Humor, Iran Humor, President Codpiece, Mission Accomplished, War Spending Bill

I’m betting that Laura Bush can finally say goodbye to her relatively high approval numbers.  Why? Because on this morning’s Today Show, Laura said something to Anne Curry that’s way beyond obnoxious:

NBC: Do you know the American people are suffering?

Laura Bush: Oh, I know that very much. And believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this. And certainly the Commander in Chief, who has asked our military to go into harm’s way.

NBC: What do you think the American public needs to know about…

Laura Bush: Well, I hope they do know the burden of worry that’s on his shoulders, every single day for our troops.

(You can see Laura Bush in action here.) 

This calls for a song parody, don’t you think?  And so I bring you my Serenade for the First Sufferers, which you can sing to Carolina In The Morning, by Gus Kahn & Walter Donaldson:

Serenade for the First Sufferers (Song Parody — sing to Carolina In The Morning)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No one suffers more
Than George and Laura from the war. 
They’re really mourning.

Photos of the dead
On cable news fill them with dread.
They’re really mourning.

They’d prefer ignoring
Tales of death and gore.
Where are the happy stories 
They long to hear once more?

Waking up so early
To the news of hurly burly
In the morning

Makes the Bushes surly.
How they hate to think so early
In the morning!

Pity George and Laura.
No one knows all their pain.
Death’s lousy,
But it’s George under strain.

No one suffers more
Than George and Laura from the war. 
They’re really mourning!

Technorati Tags: Laura Bush Humor, Laura Bush, NBC, Anne Curry,  Today Show,  Iraq War, War Satire, George Bush, Political Song Parody, Death Suffering, Troops, Military, Mourning, Commander In Chief, Pain

Dems Pull Bush’s Chain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Congressional Dems reached a deal.
No, it isn’t ideal, yet I feel
It’s all right—a first step.
Stop this war? Dems said, “Yep!”
As for reining in Bush, they said, “Heel!” 

Technorati Tags: Congress Humor, Iraq War, Spending Bill, House Bill, Rein In Bush, U.S. Troops Readiness, Veterans’ Health and Iraq Accountability Act, Strategic Redeployment, U.S. Troops

Kudos to Josh Marshall for his ongoing great coverage of the US Attorney purge scandal, including the involvement of Alberto Gonzales, Karl Rove, and the White House, in general.

Gonzo, Begone … And Take Your Pal Bush With You!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It appears that the Bushies conspired
To ensure that some lawyers were fired,
Cause those lawyers refused
To let laws be abused.
In political crimes Bush is mired.

Technorati Tags: Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General, Gonzo Gonzales,  US Attorney Purge

Purges and Surges, Twin Scourges, Oh My!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dub’s prosecutorial purges
And unauthorized, bellicose surges
Have led me to think
(Though I’m far from a shrink)
What a sick way to deal with his urges!

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Prosecutor Purge, Attorney General, Bush Mental Health, Iraq Surge

What George Bush Might Say, If He Spoke English
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re cowards! You’re traitors! J’accuse!
You in Congress, I’ll surge if I choose.
What power you had,
You’ve abandoned. How sad!
As always, I win and you lose.

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* David Swanson: Subpoena Dick
* ABC’s John Stossel: ‘Rats Make Good Pets For Wounded Vets’
* American Trouble Maker
* Reno 911
* Carnival of Satire 68 and Carnival of Satire 69
* Carnival of Feminists

Technorati Tags: Iraq Surge, Iraq War, Traitors, Anti-Surge Bills

A Henry Waxman haiku seems overdue, so here’s my “thank you” haiku:

Investigations
Into White House wrongdoing
Wax, thanks to Waxman.

Technorati Tags: House Oversight Committee, Henry Waxman, House Hearings, White House Wrongdoing, Bush Failures, Bush Investigations

By now, you’ve surely read the two-part Washington Post story about the abysmal treatment Iraq War veterans are receiving at Walter Reed Army Medical Center:

Why Does George Bush Hate Our Troops?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Where’s the medical aid for our troops?
When they’re injured, they’re treated like dupes.
Those who’ve lost arm or leg
Need our help, yet must beg
Us for care, forced to hurtle through hoops.

Technorati Tags: George Bush, Troops, Iraq War, Medical Care, Injured Veterans, Walter Reed Army Medical Center

Happy Presidents’ Day?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Presidents’ Day, but I’m glum,
Cause our President’s worse than a bum.
Dubya’s done so much harm.
(Do you still like his “charm”?)
He is evil and not merely dumb. 

Technorati Tags: Presidents’ Day Humor, Bush Satire, Bush Limericks

Alas, the magnificent Molly Ivins has died.  To call her a great wit and outstanding journalist would be an understatement.  She has always been an inspiration to me and to every other liberal I know who tries to write political satire.

Back when George Dubya Bush was Governor of Texas, way before anyone else had a clue as to Bush’s many failings and failures, Ms. Ivins was exposing them, both in her columns and in a short, but informative, book entitled Shrub.  

Ivins had countless fans, of course, but it’s clear that not enough people were paying attention to her Bush coverage.  For had they heeded her warnings, George W. Bush would never have been able to (with the help of the U.S. Supreme Court) steal Election 2000.

I’m going to end this with a limerick, although I suppose some people might disapprove.  I’d like to think Ms. Ivins would chuckle at the idea of a limerick obit, for nobody had a greater sense of humor than Molly Ivins.

Ode To Molly Ivins
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Who started the anti-Bush club?
Molly Ivins, the author of Shrub.
She alone had Dub’s number.
She warned he’d encumber
Our nation as President Dub.

Technorati Tags: Molly Ivins, Molly Ivins Death, George Bush, Journalist Obit, Shrub

Mess?  What Mess?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

From Dub’s State of the Union address,
Who would guess that our nation’s a mess?
Yet what leader would say:
“Things are awful today,
And the fault lies with me.  I confess.” 

Technorati Tags: President Bush, State of the Union Address

In an apparent reversal of his anti-tax-increase position, Bush is expected to use this week’s State of the Union address to announce tax increases for some workers whose employer-provided health plans cost significantly more than the national average:

Read His Lips: Tax The Middle Class
By Madeleine Begun Kane

George Bush has at last found a tax
That he’s fond of and backs to the max:
If your boss pays big bucks
For your health plan, the crux
Of Dub’s scheme is your taxes will wax.

Technorati Tags: Bush Tax Increase, Health Insurance, Middle Class Tax Increase, Health Plans

In a move sure to aggravate unagented (and poorly agented) authors, Jenna Bush has scored a high-powered literary agent — Robert Barnett.  So, what’s the subject of Jenna’s masterpiece?  Barnett has been shopping her “young-adult book based on the former grade school teacher’s experiences with charity causes in Latin America” to New York publishers.  Oh, goody!  (Via PoliticalWire)

Jenna Bush, Author?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A Bush twin (not Barb, but the other)
Is shopping a kid’s book. Oh, brother!
Can Jenna Bush write?
Do her verbal skills bite?
Let us hope she takes after her mother. 

Technorati Tags: Jenna Bush, Author Humor, Bush Twins, Book Humor, Literary Agent Humor, Publishing Humor, Robert Barnett

I’ve finally figured out George Dubya’s philosophy: If you can’t solve a problem, make it bigger:

Bellicose Bush
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you can’t solve a problem, expand it.
Demand an enlargement. Command it.
What else could explain
Dubya’s bellicose reign
Of great terror and shame? Please disband it. 

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* My good pal Lisa Casey, producer of the outstanding political comedy website www.allhatnocattle.net, gets cease and desist letter from Joe Scarborough, and posts an open letter to Joe Scarborough in response.
* Body Language Experts: Bush Was Hostage In ‘Surge’ Speech (the always witty Don Davis)
* Bush, Putting It On The Line (The Daily Show, courtesy of OneGoodMove)
* “Don’t let faux klingons send real americans to war. it’s wrong.” (Video clip courtesy of Skippy)
* Avedon Carol has the goods on Edwards’ antiwar speech.
* I have a plan for bringing Terri Schiavo back from the dead.

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Terror, Surge, War Escalation

Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It is time for another Bush speech,
Which leaves honor and facts in the breach.
Please do not expect reason:
Just more acts of treason.
Enough with this nonsense.  Impeach!

Technorati Tags: Bush Speech, Iraq, War Strategy Speech, The Way Forward In Iraq, Impeach Bush, Iraq Troop Surge, War Powers

Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it:

Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It appears that we’re right on the verge
Of  what Bush and McCain call a surge.
Once again, George the Madman
Behaves like an adman
Whose product leads only to dirge.

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Mail Fraud (Skippy)
* Ten ‘Bombshells’ From Rudy’s Secret Dossier (Don Davis)
* Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on Sacrifice (OneGoodMove) 

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Bush Speech, Surge, Iraq Surge, Surge & Accelerate Plan, Sacrifice, McCain