I was glad to see that at least some House and Senate Democrats want to take back the economic stimulus package concessions they gave Republicans in return for what turned out to be a grand total of zero votes. After all, as my latest limerick says, “No Quid? No Quo!”
No Quid? No Quo!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The stimulus bill was jam-packed
With concessions the GOP backed.
Yet the whole GOP
Nixed the bill. Seems to me
That the Dems should those changes redact.
Mary Pilon, of the Wall Street Journal, wrote a delightful article about financial poetry entitled Fannie, Freddie, Bear & Hard Times: Wall Street’s Collapse, Told in Rhymes. And I was delighted and honored to be one of several financial poets Ms. Pilon profiled in her article.
Rachel Maddow says “We should all become banks.” Why? Because all it takes for banks to get lots of taxpayer TARP money is a simple two page application. And the best part is that banks don’t have to account for the cash. (Bush’s Treasury Department requires no transparency or accountability.)
That calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Where’s your money? You’ve no right to know.
Banks account for your dough? Ho! Ho! Ho!
We are rich and white collar —
Won’t help if you holler.
Go pester a unionized co!
According to the GAO, TARP (the gazillion dollar Troubled Asset Relief Program) is seriously lacking in oversight. Why? Because of a single Senator’s anonymous block on the program’s IG (Inspector General) nominee.
Sen. Max Baucus, the fellow who made sure the TARP bill provided for an IG, isn’t too pleased. And that brings me to my latest limerick:
I’m never a person to carp,
But nobody oversees TARP.
One anonymous “hold”
Stopped the process out cold
Of confirming an IG who’s sharp.
After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. But sorry, Alaska. It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.
So here’s what I want to know: Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?
Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?
Even The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page thinks Republicans are crybabies about the bailout bill:
House Republicans share the blame, and not only because they opposed the bill by about two-to-one, 133-65. Their immediate response was to say that many of their Members turned against the bill at the last minute because Ms. Pelosi gave her nasty speech. So they are saying that Republicans chose to oppose something they think is in the national interest merely because of a partisan slight. Thank heaven these guys weren’t at Valley Forge.
An Ode To Crybaby Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican leaders assert
That the plan that attempts to avert
A depression just failed
Cuz Pelosi’s speech nailed
Bush’s failures — their feelings were hurt.
They are patriots first, they proclaim,
But when action’s a must they hurl blame,
Rushing out to condemn
“Hurtful” words from a Dem.
They treat critical bills like a game.
Here’s my latest haiku (senryu) about the Wall Street meltdown and the $700 billion (or much more) Bush-Cheney-Paulson-Bernanke rip-off-the-taxpayers bailout plan:
Financial vultures
First gobble up our assets,
Then demand dessert.
John McCain and his economic advisor Phil Gramm should really get their stories straight:
John McCain’s campaign says in their new ad that the economy is “in shambles.” …
In an interview with the Washington Times, Gramm says the economy is in relatively decent shape — and much more.
“You’ve heard of mental depression; this is a mental recession,” he said.
Moreover, Gramm said: “We have sort of become a nation of whiners. …”
Naturally, Gramm blames our “mental recession” on the media. And that brings me to my latest political verse:
Wham! Bam! No Thank You, Phil Gramm!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re “a nation of whiners,” says Gramm.
Our economy’s not in a jam.
It’s a “mental recession,”
This public obsession
With price hikes and jobs on the lam.
So who is at fault? It’s the press.
Yes, says Gramm, they have brought on this mess.
It would seem that reporting
The news isn’t sporting.
Vote McCain for continued “success.” [tags]Phil Gramm, Economy Verse, Media Poem, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Vote McCain, Mental Recession, Nation Of Whiners [/tags]
U.S. middle class
Nickel-and-dimed by George Bush.
Change way overdue.
(Inspired by this change prompt. And speaking of prompts, there’s still time to participate in my limerick and haiku prompt. Its theme is walking.)
UPDATE: I just remembered another haiku I wrote about change several months ago:
“People want change,”
Claim presidential candidates.
I’d prefer twenties.[tags]Middle Class Humor, Bush Presidency, Presidential Election, George Bush Haiku, Bush Economy[/tags]
For some reason, blithe Dana Perino’s blasé response to a question about Bush’s $2 trillion Iraq war reminded me of two things:
1. Bush’s false claims to have inherited a recession from Bill Clinton; and
2. Bush’s vow to “solve problems, not pass them on to future presidents and future generations.”
And that brings me to my latest haiku:
The White House isn’t
Concerned about the war’s cost.
Isn’t that special?
President Bush had some words of wisdom for us at Wednesday’s press conference: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.”
Hey, at least he finally has his priorities straight. And that brings me to my latest political limerick:
Shopping For A New President Would Be Nice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
‘Tis the season to buy stuff, for sure.
Have you shopped? Yes? Then go shop some more.
That’s what Dubya once said,
While ignoring the dead—
Needless victims of Dub’s wanton war. [tags]Bush Humor, War Humor, Economy Humor, Press Conference[/tags]
Every time I start thinking the press may finally be doing its job, I run across another example of media laziness and gullibility.
For instance, the record shattering August U.S. trade deficit received minimal coverage, almost as if it were a non-event.
Yet many “journalists” seemed all too eager to report, unchallenged, Bush’s “halving the budget deficit” claim, though this assertion is patently false.
But perhaps I’m not being fair. Cause let’s face it, Bush style accounting could improve just about anybody’s budget. Think how rosy yours would look if, with the flick of a black pen, you moved major expenses (housing? energy?) off budget.
And now it’s time for a limerick duo:
Trading On Fiction
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The trade gap is higher than ever.
Will Republicans fix it? No, never!
Yet the GOP yells:
“The economy’s swell.”
Don’t forget to click “Dem” with that lever.
Budget Reality Gap
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The deficit’s halved, claims George Dub.
But it’s gone way, way up. There’s the rub.
Yet the press prints and buys
Georgie Dubya’s big lies.
Once again, hard reality’s scrubbed.
For your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Norm at OneGood Move brings us the always hilarious Lewis Black.
* Skippy brings us a Kerry cahones video. (Now he grows a pair?)
* From Kevin Hayden, GOP’s Top Bloggers Abandon Ship, While Remaining in Denial.
* From Don Davis, Top Ten Things The Bushies Are Saying Behind The Evangelicals’ Backs.
* From The Talking Dog, an interview with Dr. Steven Miles, medical professor at the U. of Minnesota, and author of “Oath Betrayed” discussing medical complicity in torture, prisoner abuse, et al, in the war on terror.
[tags]Deficit Spending, Budget Deficit, Trade Deficit, Trade Gap, Press Humor, Gullible Journalists, Budget Lies, Off Budget Items[/tags]
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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Mad Thought Of The Day
Sunday, February 8th, 2009Are Republicans insane? Their bombastic rants and stimulus bill obstructionism could easily lead to that conclusion.
But I think there’s a more basic explanation. Republicans are simply being consistent with their long-held GOP credo:
If at first you don’t succeed, make sure your successors don’t either.
Tags: Aphorisms, GOP, Obstructionism, Republicans Humor, Stimulus Bill
Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, House Satire, Legislation Humor, Mad Thoughts, Political Commentary, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Twisted Aphorisms | Comments Off on Mad Thought Of The Day