Limerick-Off Award (261)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
“I think that I thought that I thunk,”
Said Descartes, “but perhaps it was bunk.
If I am when I think,
What occurs when I drink?
Well, I think that I therefore am drunk.”
Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special Boating-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
While launching his boat with a Hummer,
He struts like he’s King of the Summer.
Now ready to go,
The Speedo will show
His love life must be a real bummer.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Brian Allgar, Diane Groothuis, Mike Burch, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, and Ken Gosse. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (“BUNK/DEBUNK” RHYME DIVISION)
In the novel I’m reading, a hunk
Has a girlfriend who fondles his junk.
When they started to pet
I broke out in a sweat.
Now excuse me. I’ll be in my bunk.
The Captain was thoroughly drunk,
And was bonking a bird in his bunk.
They were suddenly wet,
But it wasn’t from sweat –
In his absence, the liner had sunk.
Last ev’ning I lay on my bunk,
Quite tired and also quite drunk.
As I pondered and mused,
I became quite confused;
What WAS I? A nun or a monk?
There’s something I’d like to debunk:
The GOP’s not in a “funk.”
The Donald, by choice,
Is its unfiltered voice.
Vote for someone who’s sane, or we’re sunk!
On vacation, we’re caught in a funk;
Our Airbnb place is junk.
On a faraway isle,
We’re told with a smile:
“You both have to sleep in de bunk.”
I’m a hunk in a funk when I’m drunk.
Who’da thunk it? My junk, it has shrunk.
It won’t even unfurl,
So I can’t get a girl.
Now I’m sunk – can’t spelunk in my bunk.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (BOATING LIMERICK DIVISION)
As youngsters, we learned, “Row, Row, Row,”
With no limit on how far to go.
Now older, strength fails:
With no outboard or sails,
We’ll find our return needs a tow.
About boating I haven’t a clue.
What do fo’c’s’les and mizzen masts do?
Tell me why the main bounds
And on what the surf pounds.
And just why on a head would you poo?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
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Filed under Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest