Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FRAME at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FRAME at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to EXERCISE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best EXERCISE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 2, 2016 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 1, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

An artist was caught in a frame,
Which painted him worthy of blame;
When a woman was killed,
Some blood that was spilled
Helped to pigment his portrait “Dead Dame.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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83 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FRAME at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A young lady, I don’t know her name,
    Kept insisting that I was to blame.
    But since I didn’t do it,
    She decided “ah, screw it,”
    Now she needs someone else she can frame.

  2. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Many folks like to go for a run,
    But to me, that’s just not any fun.
    ‘Cause to over-exert
    Only makes my bod hurt,
    So I’d rather go lie in the sun.

  3. Patrice Stewart says:

    Said Trump, There’s no big enough frame
    For my tough, handsome face and good name.
    Voters, I am your winner
    and that C. gal, a sinner!
    I act wild? What I’ve done will look tame…

  4. Patrice Stewart says:

    Peach at the Beach Outta Reach

    Judge, she has a delectable frame
    Which she pointed my way and took aim.
    Such a cute little bod,
    Guess it’s not at all odd
    That her weapon was “nude”: it’s to blame

    For my comments on bottom and top.
    I invited her over to bop
    In a few dozen ways,
    Warmly dropping my gaze
    To her assets – then tap, went the cop :(

  5. Ken Gosse says:

    Send Up the Clown ~
    A Clown ran their street numbers game.
    As a Wiseguy, he reached great acclaim,
    But they needed a pigeon,
    So helped cops a smidgen.
    His mug-shot fit well in that frame.

  6. Ken Gosse says:

    Desert of Champions ~
    There once was a dark, stormy Knight,
    Who could run in his cape and take flight,
    And he’d win at the Lists
    With the steel of his fists
    Then for encores, he’d eat Kryptonite.

  7. Patrice Stewart says:

    Tell It Like It Is

    I was asked to submit my large frame
    For an off-Broadway show, He’s to Blame!
    Casting choice not instinctive
    Though my looks are distinctive;
    Who knows: was I destined for fame?

    Minutes later I’m loudly berated,
    Nodding humbly, relieved I’m not fated
    To perform in a dance
    Stumbling ’round in a trance.
    But she just called: I’m feeling elated…

    As an opening act you’re a flop;
    For the cast’s sake, I had to yell stop.
    But if I read you right,
    You can work through the night ~
    I’ve a role that puts you on the top.

  8. Suzanne Heymann says:

    She has such a small tiny frame
    That they call her the littlest dame
    Her life is all checkered
    With Guiness World Record
    And Jyoti Amge’s her name.

  9. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Tell me, what in the heck’s in a name
    If the person inside is the same?
    It’s the sound of the word
    Either jewel or turd
    That will clothe you inside of its frame.

  10. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Dracula’s cape would take aim
    As he wrapped it around her wee frame
    Half her blood spilled despite
    Him just taking one bite
    And she died that same night, bloody shame!

  11. Diane Groothuis says:

    I once knew a guy who did yoga
    In a very nice loose fitting toga
    But his very strange pose
    Gave the World a few shows
    As he looked like a twisted up ogre.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    “I’m so healthy!” is Donald’s proud claim.
    With his massively overweight frame,
    I’m surprised he can walk,
    But on hearing him talk,
    I realise he’s mentally lame.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    The explorer was after big game.
    He had sighted a lion, took aim,
    Then he happily shot it.
    Success! He had got it
    Right there in the camera frame.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    Take exercise? Nah, it’s too risky;
    Even sex is alarmingly frisky.
    But my right hand is fit
    As a fiddle, for it
    Is the one that I raise to drink whisky.

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    (Exercise – an old one …)

    She was naked, positioned astride,
    And she felt it beginning to slide
    In and out, to and fro,
    Her whole body aglow –
    Yes, that rowing-machine was her pride.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    Dracula replies to Suzanne Heymann:

    Hey, it wasn’t my fault that she died!
    One small bite is no reason to chide.
    Who could know that Cecilia
    Had bad haemophilia?
    I thought that the wound would have dried.

  17. Judith Block says:

    She had a quite lovely, small frame,
    But wow, could she light a guy’s flame!
    She was such a delight,
    Petite, charming and bright,
    Guys who loved her were never the same.

  18. Judith Block says:

    he pol played a dangerous game,
    “The love that dared not speak its name.”
    Met a guy at a bar,
    They hooked up, went too far.
    Alas, he’s now easy to frame.

  19. Judith Block says:

    I have a new photo to frame,
    “So beautiful!”, I did exclaim!
    But in rooms, in my halls,
    There’s no room on my walls.
    It is quite a frustrating shame.

  20. Diane Groothuis says:

    I once knew a guy who did yoga
    In a very nice loose fitting toga
    But his very strange pose
    Gave the World a few shows
    Of his low – hanging hose…What a rogue Ah!!!!!!!

  21. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Hematologist replies to Brian Allgar’s Dracula:

    Well, that’s just bloody brilliant! As her hematologist, I must say…

    To a clinic, such victims release
    When you see their blood flow will not cease
    Now, all I can say
    To her family today
    Is “I’m sorry. May she rest in peace!”

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    The cop had decided to frame
    The young girl. “You’ve been caught on the game,
    But I’ll turn a blind eye
    If you just blow me dry,
    And your parents won’t know of your shame.”

    “Nice try,” she replied. “All the same,
    You will know, when I tell you my name,
    That my father’s a judge.
    Now please do not budge –
    I’m recording, and you’re in the frame.”

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    (Suzanne, I’ve taken the liberty of posting your reply in the interests of continuity)

    (Brian Allgar) To her family:

    Don’t worry, your girl will be back;
    We vampires have mastered the knack.
    It’s just blood that she’s shed,
    But she’ll join the undead
    By the morning. Yours sanguinely, Drac.

    (Suzanne Heymann)

    What?! And now we’re supposed to feel better?
    Back to normal, we never will get her!
    We cannot take her back
    Or we’ll be her next snack
    And she’ll suck our blood too, if we let her!

    (Brian Allgar)

    Your own kid, and you say you won’t feed her?
    Then why did you bother to breed her?
    A nourishing drink
    And she’ll be in the pink –
    Why, she could be the vampire cheerleader!

  24. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Brian Allgar’s Dracula:

    Is that your solution, you twit?
    Right after creating this shit?
    That’s right, let’s all be
    On a bloodsucking spree
    And to make sure that we all get bit!

    Though it’s said blood is thicker than water
    We raised her as human, our daughter
    And that’s why we breed
    Not to drink what we bleed
    Now you left us the need to boycott her!

  25. David Reddekopp says:

    Everyone knows that the reason we come here is to read limericks full of F-words:

    My friend, if you’ve found any fame
    You’re a fool if you fuck an old flame
    If she fails in her flow
    She’s a frustrating foe
    For you’ll find you’re the fellow she’ll frame.

  26. Dave Johnson says:

    The traffic cop was an old flame
    Whom he’d ditched for a sexy young frame.
    As she started to write,
    Said “Perhaps I just might
    Remember your @#$!-%?&*ing name.”

  27. Dave Johnson says:

    A fitness instructor with sass
    Just started a pole-dancing class.
    Announcing with pride
    “You’ll now get to slide
    On a skinny and tall piece of brass.”

  28. Sancho says:

    A woman, I’ll spare you her name,
    Had sex while strapped in a frame.
    It is an unfortunate fact
    That, after the act,
    She was stuck, with only herself to blame.

  29. The lads all thought it a game
    To bully the kid with a light frame.
    But when he worked out with weights
    And got plenty of dates

    …nah, they were still bullies just the same.

  30. Once again, mine isn’t exactly a limerick. But here it is:


    Thanks for the prompt!

  31. William Kendall says:

    To parse the political game
    And assign the appropriate blame
    It’s important to look
    Inside of the book;
    At the picture instead of the frame.

  32. Dave Johnson says:

    Weightlifting is all about work;
    A regimen never to shirk.
    But hoisting with power
    Might be in the shower;
    Regardless, it’s still “clean and jerk”.

  33. Dave Johnson says:

    Mad – Please change line 5 above to:

    Regardless, it’s still “clean and jerk”.

    Thanks, Dave

    MBK: Done.

  34. Dave Johnson says:

    A dominatrix, Madame Cass
    Was subbing her friend’s fitness class.
    She was quick to explain
    “You’re gonna feel pain;
    The one workout I know – kicking ass.”

  35. Jeanine Silverio says:

    I love my bodacious hot dame,
    Who hasn’t the least bit of shame.
    To film this knockout
    I must zoom out out out
    Just to get her big ass in the frame.

  36. Jesse Levy says:

    My wife said, Hey, let’s bowl a frame.
    But I said, It’s just not your game.
    The last time, I mutter,
    All went in the gutter.
    And now I am sleeping in same.

  37. Jeanine Silverio says:

    He called out, “I’m not over the hill!”
    Lifting weights with such consummate skill
    Then he moaned, “I must rest”
    As he clutched at his chest –
    Then lay down – and he’s lying there still.

  38. Jeanine Silverio says:

    MadKane – would you mind changing “bill” to “hill”? Typo. Thank you!

    MBK: Done.

  39. Dave Johnson says:

    Some carpenters started to frame
    A new house, then a tornado came.
    When the winds settled down,
    The rest of the town
    Had buildings that looked much the same.

  40. Val Fish says:

    Though not always proud of his frame
    His portliness brought him great fame
    His role in Aladdin
    Had no need of padding
    He was the perfect pantomime dame

  41. Dave Johnson says:

    Donald Trump continues to frame
    This election with bluster and shame.
    We lose if he wins
    With the greatest of sins;
    His blabbermouth rigging the game.

  42. Dave Johnson says:

    A Portland hipster named Ike
    Rides around on a teal-colored bike.
    He loves in a loft,
    But don’t think he’s soft;
    He’ll be rockin’ that big urban hike.

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    Swimming and rowing are best
    For passing the full-fitness test.
    Cross-country skis
    Won’t demolish the knees;
    But TV just crushes your quest.

  44. Diane Groothuis says:

    A guy got himself in the frame
    For faking an insurance claim.
    He had lit a small fire
    Causing cops to inquire
    RE the whereabouts of his old flame.

  45. Dave Johnson says:

    One painting that hangs in a frame,
    No kidding – it strikes me as lame.
    I don’t understand
    What makes it so grand;
    That farmer and plain-looking dame.

  46. Tim James says:

    The treadmill spins madly around.
    I perspire, and my heart starts to pound.
    I grow faint; my eyes dim.
    But I’m not at the gym;
    I’m at work. It’s a stress test, I’ve found.

  47. David Reddekopp says:

    Every week, a new training routine
    On a fancy newfangled machine
    And a bloke for a witness
    Who spoke for its fitness
    To make me all muscled and lean

    But it never gets used, to my shame
    Overfed and abused is my frame
    As a matter of patness
    I’m an adder of fatness
    So don’t get enthused, I’m the same.

    (patness – timely convenience)

  48. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Dave Johnson (re the painting):

    The one with the pitchfork in hand?
    And expressionless faces so bland?
    That’s my granny and gramps
    They were national champs
    As the grumpiest folks in the land.

    If you google “images for painting of farmer and pitchfork,” click it and you’ll see numerous versions of it with changes made to the painting, such as enlarged heads, or their heads switched, and one with her head on the pitchfork’s middle prong, and one with her wearing a bikini with the panty stretched on the prongs; also, one with their heads replaced by the Osbournes, or Kermit and Miss Piggy, one with the house in the background on fire, etc, etc, Hilarious!

  49. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If some planned exercises seem scary
    Just think of ones involuntary
    Like falling down stairs
    Being chased by some bears
    These fat-burning affairs are quite hairy.

    No will power’s needed to do ’em
    They just come by themselves, so push through ’em
    They sneak up from behind
    So beware, ’cause you’ll find
    You can’t shove them aside or say, “Screw ’em!’

    So if you’re not very inventive
    And don’t have a lot of incentive
    Don’t worry, old chum
    ‘Cause the day may soon come
    When a fire finds you inattentive.

    (then you’ll be running like hell!)

  50. Dave Johnson says:

    To Suzanne – Yep, that’s the one and your reply is a winner!

  51. Dave Johnson says:

    A socially proper young miss
    Thought yoga just might be her bliss.
    On the very next mat,
    Odiferous and fat,
    His breathing was more like a hiss.

  52. Kirk Miller says:

    If you’re fat, then the facts must be faced:
    To poor health extra weight has been traced.
    Get in shape. Please try it,
    ‘Cause exercise, diet,
    Are the ways to fight hazardous waist.

  53. Barry Solomons says:

    The braggart had wanted to claim
    That his surprisingly, muscular frame
    Was because he’d spent hours in the gym
    Getting his body in trim
    Eventually reaching his aim.

    But this really obnoxious brat
    Was as welcome as a sewer rat,
    After his muscles were exposed
    And the truth was disclosed,
    His body cloaked in layers of fat.

  54. Tim James says:

    A chemist attempted to frame
    A missive of love to his flame.
    But his efforts fell flat
    When his note told her that
    She was sweeter than pure aspartame.

  55. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Dave Johnson – Thank you!

  56. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If some planned exercises seem scary
    Just think of ones involuntary
    Like falling down stairs
    Being chased by some bears
    These fat-burning affairs are quite hairy.

    No will power’s needed to do ’em
    They just come by themselves, so push through ’em
    They sneak up from behind
    So beware, ’cause you’ll find
    You can’t shove them aside or say, “Screw ’em!”

    So if you’re not very inventive
    And don’t have a lot of incentive
    Don’t worry, old chum
    ‘Cause the day may soon come
    When a fire finds you inattentive.

    (then you’ll be running like hell!)

  57. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Here’s the BEST exercise, so take note
    Most important of all to promote
    Make sure to remember
    The eighth of November
    Go stir up the embers and VOTE!

    (just don’t choose orange!)
    (Cheetohs are bad for you!)

  58. Mark Kane says:

    She stared at that old picture frame,
    Recalling this fellow of fame.
    He plied her with gin,
    And promising sin,
    But left her, soon after he came.

  59. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Your heart will just get a big thrill
    If you pedal a bike fast uphill
    But if you get too weak
    Before reaching the peak
    Hope it’s me you would sneak in your will.

  60. Ian Graham says:

    Reflecting the times is the aim
    Of the portraits in our Hall of Fame
    So we followed the fashion
    And hung Kim Kardashian
    But she kept falling out of the frame.

  61. Wendy Playter says:

    I gazed at the muscleman’s frame
    And the toilet from whence he just came.
    The seat of the loo
    Made me ponder anew:
    What good is great strength without aim?


    My thoughts about workouts have turned–
    Through reading and self-love I’ve learned
    The wisdom is stark,
    But like Joan of Arc,
    My fat should be cherished, not burned.


    While training myself for a race,
    My fitness has gotten off pace.
    I finally declare
    As a I raise an eclair,
    “I’m fitness whole thing in my face!”

  62. Dave Johnson says:

    In Bend, OR we kayak and hike;
    Go ride on some skis or a bike.
    But our own fitness quest
    Is elusive at best;
    Too much local brew that we like.

  63. Mark Kane says:

    Here’s a ‘Combo Limerick’:

    He was born with a puny slight frame,
    and a puny slight man he became.
    So he put in some work,
    Pumped weights, what a jerk,
    But the women still viewed him the same.

  64. Tim James says:

    Their exertions in bed bent the frame,
    Then her charley horse threatened their game.
    But she shrugged the pain off
    And they finished their boff.
    She was lame but she came just the same.

  65. Dave Johnson says:

    The members’ particular aim
    Is a sleek and sinewy frame.
    This class will attest
    Nude yoga is best;
    Quite possibly, that’s why he came.

  66. Dave Johnson says:

    Hill-walking’s a great place to start;
    For fitness, especially your heart.
    But running back down
    Should be viewed with a frown;
    One trip and you’d hate the next part.

  67. Ted Hayes says:

    It was a huge and heavy frame
    but he hung it just the same
    but removal will bring clamor
    and he’ll for sure need a new hammer
    ’cause the old one has such poor aim

  68. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald decided to shame
    A girl for expanding her frame.
    She’s come back with pride
    On Hillary’s side;
    He sniffles “Obama’s to blame…”

  69. Fred Bortz says:

    Welcome to Dystopia

    To win the political game,
    The trick is to know how to frame
    The facts so the voters
    Select you for POTUS,
    And stick your opponent with blame.

    For instance, the ’08 campaign,
    When Hillary had much to gain
    By claiming Obama
    Was Kenyan. What drama!
    You’d buy it with hardly a strain.

    But the truth, thanks to Trump, is well known.
    The detectives he hired have now shown
    After five years of tryin’
    Barack is Hawaiian,
    And Clinton’s foul scheme has been blown.

    How close we have come to disaster.
    Thank goodness that Donald outclassed her.
    Now we gladly bow down
    To the man with the crown.
    He’s our leader for life, the Great Master.

  70. Dave Johnson says:

    Their love life stripped down to the frame
    With a backdrop of “Ain’t That a Shame” –
    She’s texting a friend;
    Their “chats” never end;
    He’s hooked on some video game.

  71. The young man cried “I’m not to blame.
    What I sense here is a frame.
    Others came and went
    Making love in her tent
    ‘Tho invited in, I never came”.

  72. Ted Hayes says:

    Weight Watchers left little but frame
    but a hope for some pounds to reclaim
    she corked up her poo
    and vowed not to doo
    ’til pleasingly plump she became

  73. Dave Johnson says:

    Despicable Donald will shame
    For looks or lack of the same;
    This bag of hot air
    With his Halloween hair
    And billowy, blubbery frame.

  74. Dave Johnson says:

    He was trying to work up a sweat
    And impress the hot girl he just met.
    In spin class they spun;
    But when over and done,
    He was left high and dry – sopping wet.

  75. Don’t judge a picture by it’s frame
    Or a beautiful lady the same
    If your senses are keen
    There’s much more to be seen
    If you’ve sense to come out of the rain.

  76. Dave Johnson says:

    His fitness routine doesn’t lack
    Intensity; always on track.
    From early till late,
    The Donald is great
    At patting himself on the back.

  77. Ted Hayes says:

    Car crash left a bent frame.
    Off to State Farm to file claim.
    Clerk was a real jerk,
    said with a smirk,
    “Policy expired, what a shame.”

  78. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Due to extensive, accuracy-driven, painstaking research and experience (or is that experiments?), the following is a true story…

    You are losing the exercise game
    If you think it will shrink down your frame
    ‘Cause I heard on the news
    That although you may choose
    To do push ups, you lose, look the same.

    The way to lose pounds, if you try it
    Is determined by only your diet
    Processed food is a killer
    A weight-gaining filler
    Convenience and taste, can’t deny it!

    The exercise big claim to fame –
    It fixes your heart when it’s lame
    With endorphins released
    Your good mood is increased
    While Alzheimer’s loses its flame.

    Brain power and memory improve
    While addiction control finds a groove
    Creativity too
    Becomes boosted anew
    This occurs when you get up and MOVE!

  79. Dave Johnson says:

    They went to a nudist resort
    Thinking volleyball might be their sport
    While looking for beaus
    Without any clothes;
    As a tandem, both came up short.

  80. Tim James says:

    What’s the source of my lim’ricks? Not drink;
    I just run till I’m gasping and pink.
    When these verses I brew,
    My brain’s starved of O2.
    It explains quite a lot, don’t you think?

  81. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I was thinking of sending this to a greeting card company to use in their ‘I miss you’ cards, but it seems everyone uses emails instead…

    I miss YOU like a match with no flame
    Or a picture that hangs with no frame
    Or a hive with no bees
    Or a kiss with no squeeze
    Or a dog with no fleas, what a shame!

    Like no dice or no cards in a game
    The fun isn’t there, it gets lame
    Like a bra with no bust
    Or the sex without lust
    Without you, life is just not the same!

  82. Dave Johnson says:

    It’s 3 AM; here comes the shame
    In a one-forty character frame.
    With Android in hand,
    He’s there to command;
    There’s a stew pot of sludge to inflame.

  83. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Exercise-Themed Limerick Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick Award Winner 262.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Grind.