Limerick of the Week (161)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SUE DULLEY, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
With manners polite and restrained
Victoria’s household was trained.
At twenty past three
Someone else served her tea —
The Queen never poured when she reigned.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special Holiday-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
It’s Easter. We’ve run out of money;
Our rabbit’s regarding us funny.
We can’t afford lamb,
And we’ve finished the spam —
She suspects she’ll become roasted bunny.
Congratulations to CRAIG DYKSTRA, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
“You are guilty of meter that’s strained,
And of puns that are terribly pained.
You’ll be struck twenty times
For your crimes against rhymes;
Please step forth to be Madeleine-caned.”
Congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners in the “Holiday Limerick Division” (in random order) Fred Bortz, Will T. Laughlin, and Steve Krodman a/k/a Elisson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
After one week of matzah, he strained
To egest all the stuff that remained.
The whole town heard him howl
From the pain in his bowel.
Alas, he’d from prune juice refrained.
Will T. Laughlin:
Said the rabbi, “Commandment from heaven
Says you have to get rid of your leaven
By Nissan 14.”
What on earth could he mean?
I drive a Toyota 07!
Now it’s Pesach. The thing that I dread
Comes from all that damned unleavened bread.
For whenever I eat,
It sets up like concrete,
And I spend all my time in the head.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners in the “Strained Limerick Division” (in random order) Brian Allgar, Robert Schechter, Chris Doyle, Tim James, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
They asked why my Dad’s been restrained
From approaching Bill Gates. I explained
That his eyes become crazed,
Turning glassy and glazed —
At the mention of ‘Windows’, he’s pained.
If Clinton had been more restrained,
If before he was done he’d refrained,
Both Monica’s dress
And his good name, I guess,
Would have come through the scandal unstained.
All of Denmark’s top quad sculls have strained
Through long workouts and tirelessly trained
For the national race,
Which — let’s cut to the chase —
Makes first place for one crew four-oar-Daned.
A woman had struggled and strained
To keep her young beau entertained.
With all of that sexing
She found something vexing:
Who suspected that *that* could get sprained?
When Mark’s bawdiness can’t be restrained,
Does dear Mad feel her contest’s profaned?
Does her presence of mind
Turn to anger that’s blind?
And if so, does dear Mad have Mark Kaned?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Steve Krodman, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest