Archive for the ‘Politics Satire’ Category

War, Inc. Interruptus

Monday, May 19th, 2008

In a parallel universe, Monday night’s New York Film Academy screening of John Cusack’s War, Inc. was great, as was the Rachel Maddow-moderated Q & A that followed the screening. Back on earth, however, the screening didn’t go quite so well.  In fact … it barely went at all.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  A few days ago, when my anti-war limericks won me a War, Inc. screening ticket, I thought, “How cool!”  And it probably would have been cool, had the attendees gotten to see (and hear) more than a few minutes of the film.

I knew there was trouble almost as soon as the movie started. Both the picture and the sound seemed to come from a copy so worn out, it should have been tossed a good decade before the movie was even conceived.

And that was the good part.

Several minutes into the showing we lost all the sound, during what looked to be a very key scene.  And no amount of shouting from the audience could arouse the projectionist from his apparent stupor.

As the movie kept soundlessly going, several of us left the screening room to look for the projectionist or someone else to yell at.  Did I mention that nobody seemed to be in charge?

Finally someone located the projectionist, who unapologetically claimed that he’d only left the room for two minutes. 

Liar, liar! Projector on fire!

The obnoxious fellow (presumably a film student) finally got the thing going again, but refused to rewind.  No matter, though, because almost immediately he lost the sound again, and again, and again.

At this point, an audience riot seemed inevitable.  Okay, maybe not a riot — we’re liberals, after all.  Still,  we’re talking two or three hundred seriously miffed people.

Since I wasn’t exactly missing anything,  I stepped out of the room for a moment to make a phone call.  And on my return I heard someone yell that the screening was over and everyone had to leave. 

Another attendee told me that during my brief absence the projectionist had claimed that an irate audience member had assaulted him.  Let’s just say that  Mr. “I Was Only Gone Two Minutes” isn’t exactly a credible witness. 

And so we all straggled out, angry, frustrated, and disappointed. And based on what little I saw of War, Inc. probably sadder about missing Rachel Maddow than about missing the actual movie.

Which reminds me, I wonder if anyone told Rachel and screen writers Mark Leyner and Jeremy Pikser to not bother showing up for the Q & A.

Like I said, nobody seemed to be in charge. [tags]War, Inc., New York Film Screening, Rachel Maddow, John Cusack, Angry Liberal Mob, Mark Leyner, Jeremy Pikser, Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley[/tags]

Dear Supreme Sacrificer

Friday, May 16th, 2008

I can’t decide what’s more absurd — Bush’s delusional boast that giving up golf is some sort of Iraq War sacrifice … or the fact that he lied about it.

In any event, George “Golf-Deprived” Bush deserves another limerick don’t you think? 

Dear Supreme Sacrificer
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So you gave up your golf — I don’t care.
It is hardly the cure for despair.
You’ve inflicted much pain
For no positive gain,
And your reign is an unanswered prayer.[tags]Iraq War Sacrifice, Dubya Limerick, Bush & Golf[/tags]

George Who???

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

After losing three back-to-back Congressional races in solid Republican districts, the GOP has a spanking new game plan:

George Who??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bush enablers are trying to blame
All their woes on George Bush — that’s their game:
Each Congressional loss
Is the fault of their boss.
Their new creed? “Never liked what’s-his-name.”

Update: Next Monday evening, I’ll be attending a New York screening of War, Inc., John Cusack’s new movie satirizing the Iraq war.  If you’re planning to be there too, please email me, and maybe we can meet.  I’ll be going via a ticket I won in RawStory’s war limerick writing contest.[tags]Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Republican Limerick, GOP Verse, Bush Blame, Congressional Races, Distance From Bush, Childers Mississippi[/tags]

Next, They’ll Claim Obama Inherited Clinton’s Reverend

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Sometimes I can’t help being amused by the Blame-Hillary crowd. What are they blaming her for this time?  Obama’s Reverend Wright problem, of course. 

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Next, They’ll Claim Obama Inherited Clinton’s Reverend
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever his poll numbers lurch,
Obama-fans start up a search.
Their aim’s to fix blame
On that Hillary dame.
Guess it’s her fault he joined Rev. Wright’s church.[tags]Senator Obama, Senator Clinton Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Religion Limerick[/tags]

Ode To Pious John McCain

Friday, April 25th, 2008

The Philly Inq’s Dick Polman really nails it in his must-read post about John McCain’s  “artful dance with North Carolina Republican leaders, who have fashioned a low-road, anti-Obama advertisement that is slated to air on statewide TV next Monday.”

Commenting on McCain’s political skills and pseudo-piety, he says:

When it comes time to dish the dirt, he keeps his hands clean as he tut-tuts about the incivility of our politics. He looks good doing it – the Washington press generally loves it when he’s in pious mode on the high road – and, meanwhile, he gets to reap the rewards of the dirt being dished. Why pilot your own Swift Boat when it’s so much more attractive to condemn those who do it for you?

And that’s my cue for my Pious John McCain limerick:

Ode To Pious John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch the press fall for pious McCain,
As he calls for a lofty campaign.
They’re so easily spun,
As his dirty work’s done
With an ad he pretends to disdain.[tags]John McCain Humor, Presidential Campaign Ads, Election Limerick, Media Humor[/tags]

Those Were The Days, My Friend

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

Remember when the entire left blogosphere could be counted on to criticize politicians who said one thing and did the opposite? And when hypocrisy was routinely deconstructed and attacked by the left?

I’m talking about the pre-Obama-cult days, of course.  A time when the sort of behavior described here, here, here and here wouldn’t have been countenanced (let alone encouraged) by half the left blogosphere. Those were the days, my friend. (McCain Trademark Pending)

And that brings me to the first of my latest pair of limericks:

Dear Obama, please tell us all why
You keep doing the stuff you decry.
Cuz the “high road” you claim
Sure is littered with shame,
As you peddle your DC change lie.

My second new limerick was inspired by Obama’s slick habit of conflating the GWB and Bill Clinton presidencies by referring to decades in discussing this nation’s problems.  Instead of pinpointing the horrendous Bush years, Obama blithely tarnishes the Democratic brand with that plural decades reference.  

Why does he do this? Apparently it’s Obama who will do whatever it takes to win.  And that includes making sure Hillary doesn’t get credit by association for the relatively prosperous and peaceful Nineties.

That brings me to today’s second limerick:

Obama cites “decades” of ills,
Conflating the Bush years with Bill’s.
He’ll hurt the Dem brand
By playing that hand,
Leading voters to run for the hills.[tags]Barack Obama Hypocrisy, Democratic Brand, Left Blogosphere, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire[/tags]

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

What did we learn from last night’s debate?  That (unlike Hillary Clinton) Barack Obama falls apart when he finally encounters a hostile press. 

As the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman observes, Obama was “shaken, rattled and rolled” at the ABC debate.  So, is this the kind of candidate you want opposing John “Media Pal” McCain in the general election? 

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The man with the tongue made of gold
Under pressure last night seemed to fold.
His supporters excuse him—
Claim press guys abuse him.
Words matter. Barack’s? Oversold![tags]ABC Pennsylvania Presidential Debate, Senator Obama, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Hostile Press, Senator McCain[/tags] 

Hey Obama Sycophants, Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

They were warned, but they refused to listen. And now they’re paying the price.

I’m referring, of course, to the Pro-Obama bloggers who delight in anti-Dem media bias, so long as it’s directed at Hillary Clinton.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the election: Now that the press is giving Obama a hard time over his condescending bitter-small-town-America faux pas, these press bias-enablers are suddenly horrified by media bias. Why? Because it’s their candidate whose ox is being Gored. 

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Hey Obama Sycophants, Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“The press is unfair to Barack,”
Whines the Cult of Obama with shock.
Loaded questions, contortions
Of words, and distortions
Now wrong, cuz it’s their guy they mock.[tags]Media Bias, Press Bias, Media Humor, Senator Obama, Senator Clinton, Presidential Election Campaign Satire[/tags]

McCain’s New Campaign Slogan

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

John McCain has been having a tough time raising campaign money lately.  So I thought I’d help out with a McCain campaign slogan haiku — gratis. Aren’t I generous?

Remember Bush’s
Humble foreign policy?
Vote McCain for more. [tags]Senator McCain, Presidential Campaign Verse[/tags]

Biased Journalists And Bloggers, Heal Thyselves!

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

Hey, cable honchos. Before lambasting Hillary for “failing to fact check,” you might consider dabbling in some fact checking yourselves.

I’m referring, of course, to the media’s dead hospital patient mock-fest and, more broadly, to the “Gore-ing” of Hillary Clinton.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Biased Journalists And Bloggers, Heal Thyselves
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In cov’rage quite sloppy at best,
The press attacked Hill’ry with zest,
Disputing her facts.
But ’twas they who were lax.
Cuz if Clinton says east they say west.[tags]Biased Bloggers, Sloppy Journalists, Senator Clinton, Press Fact Checking, Presidential Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Health Humor, Media Limerick[/tags]

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary Clinton (Updated)

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama supporters proclaim
That Clinton must quit, hurling blame,
Shrieking “Stop this damn fray!”
Dems love fighters, they say.
But not if the fighter’s a dame.

UPDATE: After posting this, I went searching for some bloggers who are rational on the subject of Clinton and Obama. Here’s what I found:

Take Your Boobs And Go Home Watch
Heh
Krugman Reads His Hillary
Obama Likes GOP Foreign Policy
Obama To Blame If The Dem Contest Goes To The Convention
Dear Democratic Elite: Back Off
It’s going past Denver
The World Is Watching[tags]Lefty Blogs Humor, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Democrats Limerick, Gender Humor, White House Verse[/tags]

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Apparently, maverick is a synonym for felon.  Who knew?

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A law breaker — that’s John McCain,
Treating FEC regs with disdain.
Having championed those rules,
He plays us for fools.
Yet we still hear the mav’rick refrain.[tags]Senator John McCain Humor, McCain Maverick Satire, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, FEC Humor, White House Humor, Media Humor[/tags]

Presidential Election Blues

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Presidential Election Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While pundits bloviate,
Candidates exaggerate,
Flirt with fourth estate
And would-be running mate.

They travel multi-state,
Wooing pools of voter-bait.
Think the Oval’s their fate.
Hardly ever talk straight.

Their resumes inflate.
They claim opponents don’t rate.
Prez debates?  Not great.
November 5th —  can’t wait![tags]Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, White House Poetry[/tags]

Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

The left blogosphere has been packed with stories about John “Foreign Policy Maven”  McCain’s serial gaffes, in which he confused Islam’s Sunni and Shiite sects while trying to prove Iran supports al-Qaeda in Iraq. His gaffes were so bad, even über-loyalist Joe Lieberman was forced to correct him.

So, can we expect major media columnists and talking heads to question McCain’s foreign policy prowess?  A small handful of fair-minded, insightful columnists like the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman can be counted on at moments like this.   But in the main, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

And that brings me to my latest limerick: 

Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain’s expertise ain’t legit:
Sunni? Shiite? He doesn’t know shit.
So the man should be toast.
But the press let’s him coast
Cuz he’s great in a barbecue pit.

(For more humor on this topic, check out Joe Lieberman Has To Remind McCain He’s Not In Vietnam, by Don Davis.)[tags]Senator John McCain, Foreign Policy Expertise, Sunni, Shiite, Islam, McCain Barbecue, McCain Gaffes, al-Qaeda, Iran, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor[/tags]

Ode To Eliot Spitzer

Friday, March 14th, 2008

What does Spitzer’s downfall prove?  That you don’t have to be a Republican to be a hypocrite.

Eliot Spitzer deserves a limerick, don’t you think?

Ode To Eliot Spitzer
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Spitzer has said he abhors
Prostitution, he paid to use whores.
And one of his cons
Was he punished the johns
While committing their crime on all fours.

Obama Tries To Paint Over Politics As Usual

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Barack Obama claims to be battling Hillary Clinton under a new set of political rules. But as Big Tent illustrates, his personal attacks on Clinton sound suspiciously like politics as usual.  And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The new politics,
Courtesy of Obama:
Old rules with feint-job.
[tags]Senator Obama, Senator Clinton, Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, Obama Haiku, Obama Hypocrisy, Political Rules, Personal Attacks[/tags]

Hysterical Lefty Bloggers Whine For Clinton To Leave Obama Alone

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Predictably, the A-list lefty blog-calls for Hillary to get out of the presidential race have continued, notwithstanding last night’s Hillary Clinton wins. Any minute now, I half-expect to read that Hillary’s refusal to bow out is racist.

Of course, these hand-the-nomination-to-its-rightful-owner rants come from the same bloggers who insist that Obama isn’t sexist and that the media hasn’t been biased against Clinton. (Americablog is but one example and no, I will not link to it.)

Apparently, these bloggers can’t wait for the media to turn its biased dirty tricks on Obama.  Because that’s exactly what will happen if/when Clinton is out of the picture:

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

The press guys can’t wait to declare
That Clinton’s kaput on the air.
Then they’ll turn on Barack:
They’ll malign and they’ll mock
Him, the way they hit Hill’ry. Beware![tags]Presidential Politics, Lefty Bloggers, Press Bias, Media Sexism, Racist Accusations, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Media Humor[/tags]

Dear Ralph: Go Away!

Monday, February 25th, 2008

I used to think Ralph Nader keeps running for president because he’s an egomaniac and a blowhard.  But I’m starting to suspect that he suffers from Dubya-disease — he needs to feel relevant. 

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Dear Ralph: Go Away!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ralph Nader has surfaced again
To proclaim he’s a prince among men
And our nation’s salvation.
Give up your fixation,
Ralph. Find a new hobby. Try zen.

For more Ralph Nader humor, check out Ralph Nader, ‘Unsafe At Any Age,’ by Don Davis and Nader Announces Plan To Wreck Election, But Prominent Crackpots Are Cool To Bid, by Andy Borowitz. And for a serious take on the topic, there’s Ralph Nader, Tragedy And Farce, by Dick Polman.

Hey Pundits, Stifle Yourselves! (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

I can’t decide what’s more annoying — when pundits are wrong, or when they insist on finding meaning in the meaningless, deep significance in utter nonsense. Digby provides a fine example of the latter:

Matthews, Olbermann, Norah O’Donnell and David Gregory are sitting around interpreting the Michigan Democratic vote and examining the exit polls to determine meaningful trends about the upcoming primaries.

Michigan means nothing, good or bad, for Democrats. … [CLINTON] WAS THE ONLY ONE OF THE TOP THREE ON THE FRIGGING BALLOT! …

… The primary doesn’t count. …

But they’re out there spewing crap anyway, trying to impact the race, making predictions, being fortune tellers as usual …

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Hey Pundits, Stifle Yourselves!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The pundits opine and expound:
On sheer nonsense they chew and they pound,
Finding meaning in stuff
That means nothing. Enough!
Watch them frown as they wax so profound. [tags]Pundit Humor, Election, Humor, Media Limerick, Campaign Satire, Vacuous Punditry, Michigan Primary, Democratic Primary, Presidential Campaign Poem[/tags]

A Liar’s Haiku

Sunday, December 30th, 2007

AP calls Mitt’s lies
A “candor gap,” bypassing
Candor lacuna. [tags]Mitt Romney Satire, Candor Gap, Media Dishonesty[/tags]