Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BONE or TROMBONE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either BONE or TROMBONE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I often enjoy the trombone
When its notes are well-played and not blown.
But I loathe being hit
By trombone-player spit.
For their slobber, it’s time to atone.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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70 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BONE or TROMBONE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Jesse Levy says:

    I recently saw a trombone
    that shoots fire whenever it’s blown.
    A friend asked me, Why?
    I’m not sure, said I,
    but he’ll play with his hot bone alone.

    (This is based on an actual video I saw on FB, and an actual question asked me by a trombonist friend).

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    The bounciest girl he had known
    Was astride him, and couldn’t be thrown.
    But her thrusts were so rough
    That he cried “That’s enough –
    I think you’ve just broken my bone!”

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    Though she wanted to play the trombone,
    All her blowing produced was a groan.
    Still, she managed to land
    A good job in the band
    On the day the conductor was blown.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    His doggy enjoys a good bone.
    He has similar tastes of his own;
    First, it goes in her mouth,
    Then he takes it down south
    Where his bone enjoys doggy with Joan.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    He had found an old dinosaur bone
    Of a species completely unknown.
    But alas for his name
    And his undying fame –
    It was plastic, stamped ‘Made in Kowloon’.

    (I’m ashamed to say I’ve allowed myself an off-rhyme!)

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Irascible vultures are prone
    To disputes, and they bicker and moan.
    “That one’s mine!” “No, it’s mine!”
    They’re all fighting to dine,
    And they’re constantly picking a bone.

  7. Jesse Levy says:

    Playing your trusty trombone
    Is a skill one surely can hone.
    But I’m really bad at it
    So I’ll let my Dad at it
    He once played with Wingy Manone.

  8. Mark Kane says:

    When we leave to eat out, he’s alone.
    Oh he’ll whine and he’ll bark and he’ll moan.
    But after our wine,
    On return all is fine,
    When I bring him a juicy steak bone.

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    The handsome man from Bayonne
    Played the slide trombone

    At the cabaret
    He got carried away

    The flutist’s condition is still unknown

  10. Lisi Nortman says:

    She worked her fingers to the bone
    So proud of what she’d sewn

    A flawless mask
    To enact her task

    Of robbing the Savings and Loan

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    My husband asked me to moan
    to increase his testosterone

    I tried it out
    And began to shout

    “Ooooh my aching bone!”

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    As I was walking home alone
    I noticed an unusual bone

    I scraped off the tar
    And discovered a scar

    Good Heavens! It’s Al Capone!

  13. Janie Gouge says:

    A virtuoso of the trombone
    When he played bassoonists did moan
    When he extended his slide
    He hit their soft hides
    So the orchestra became a combat zone

  14. Fred Bortz says:

    A trumpeter who bought a clone
    To play a duet on his own
    Was simply beside himself
    Gliding the slide himself,
    Moaning, “My clone plays trombone.”

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    A pun should make you groan
    And sometimes even bemoan

    Since birds of a feather
    Tickle together

    They’ve yet to find my humerus bone

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    Jim practiced his trombone
    At hours that made neighbors groan

    There was a meeting one night
    And to everyone’s delight

    They designated a “no trombone zone”

  17. Kristin Smith says:

    By Phyllis Sterling Smith:

    Murder’s hard with just a trombone
    Hitting over the head like a stone.
    So much DNA
    Is slobbered away
    That the perp cannot help but be known.

  18. Kristin Smith says:

    From Phyllis Sterling Smith:

    Trombonists all need a trombone.
    They savor its brass and its tone.
    But they do cost a lot,
    Prob’ly more than you’ve got.
    That’s why we all wish they could clone.

  19. Heather Hjorth says:

    When first he practised his trombone
    His parents said ‘you must leave home
    That noise is not right
    We won’t sleep tonight’
    And now he lives all on his own

  20. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s nothing like a trombone
    With its deep symphonic tone

    But when my son blows its power
    I shake and I cower

    And find solace on my trustworthy throne

  21. Fred Bortz says:

    In Genesis, God used a bone
    To make Eve, though she wasn’t a clone.
    So much for reliance
    On DNA science!
    Creationist truth has been shown.

  22. John Armstrong says:

    I just brought a brand new trombone
    And also a brand new cell phone
    Where my priorities lie
    You can judge by and by
    The bone cost 100 times the new phone

  23. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    Great care must surely be shown
    To wrest a positive groan
    In a harmonic scene
    From a lover most keen
    When working a rusty trombone.

  24. John Armstrong says:

    A baseball player oft played trombone
    While his spouse sat in the ballroom all alone
    “It may be a quirk,
    But he’s my little jerk
    And it feels good when he slides in at home!”

  25. Janice Canerdy says:

    My stud and I crave time alone.
    How he makes me tremble and moan!
    Each moment’s fulfilling.
    Each movement is thrilling
    when my hot guy plays that trombone.

  26. Janice Canerdy says:

    Sue’s not in the bedroom alone,
    but hubby’s as cold as a stone.
    She begs, “Take this pill?”
    He says, “Yes, I will.”
    Her man is now bad to the bone.

  27. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy played a mean jazz trombone,
    How he made it sing, made it moan.
    He played Dixieland
    With a great band;
    Was proud to call New Orleans, home!

  28. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy who, alas, lived alone
    Imagined his really hard bone
    Getting way deep inside
    Of the gal he would ride,
    With pleasure, she’d giggle and moan.

  29. John Armstrong says:


    I just bought a brand new trombone
    And also a brand new cell phone
    Where my priorities lie
    You can judge buy and buy
    The bone cost 200 times the new phone

  30. Janice Canerdy says:

    Bob relishes time in his zone.
    With bedroom door closed all alone,
    he yields to temptation
    to end all frustration
    when he plays his treasured trombone.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    My triplets cry and moan
    While my husband plays the trombone

    Between babies: count them, THREE!
    And “Flight Of The Bumblebee”

    My house is a virtual combat zone!

  32. Robert Marcus says:

    If you march with the ‘bones
    and the other good brasses;
    You’d best keep your distance —
    lest their slides’re up your asses!

  33. Kaye Roberts says:

    He’d always wanted to own
    His very own shiny trombone
    But now when he plays
    for days upon days
    He finds himself largely alone

  34. Fred Bortz says:

    From the JFK great funny bone,
    This quip that is fairly well known:
    Greatest brains sharing dinners
    (All Nobel Prize Winners)
    Since Jefferson dined here alone.

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    She worked her fingers to the bone
    So proud of what she had sewn

    His favorite hues:
    Greens and blues

    Perfect to stuff in his big “boccalone”


    You demand explanations be shown
    Why I met with my student alone.
    Well, her field’s dinosaurs,
    So she went through my drawers
    ‘Til she found my old fossilized bone.


    Dear contractor: We have a bone
    To pick. We had ordered a drone.
    What you sent us in lieu
    Is a didgeridu.
    Very funny. Come back when you’re grown.

  38. “Your son’s learned to play the trombone,”
    Said Her Mom to His Mom on the phone;
    “And my daughter’s his trumpet.
    She’ll blow, and he’ll pump it
    All night, if I leave them alone!”

    (Earpiece: sound of a fit being thrown.)

  39. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The wifey had started to moan,
    “When you’re out every night, I’m alone,
    And your mistress gets bed…”
    Interrupting, I said,
    “Stop your bitching!” and threw her a bone.

  40. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    Slight change to the original: Great care must surely be shown
    To wrest a sensual groan
    In a harmonic scene
    From a lover most keen
    When working a rusty trombone.

  41. Diane Groothuis says:

    Her budget is cut to the bone
    And she’s feeling quite lost and alone
    Would the Banker re-neg
    If she showed him her leg
    (When the muscles lack tone) for a loan?

  42. Bjorn says:

    words that you say are breaking my bones
    your tongue is sharp and harder than stone
    you look like a witch
    It’s time that I ditched
    you, dear lady and meanest of crones

  43. X says:

    I often enjoy the trombone
    when it is somewhere other than my home
    a nice smokey pub
    or boiling hottub
    or with a pint, when i’m feeling alone.

  44. Just throw this old dog a bone,
    so that my sins I may own;
    a child still resides within,
    whose become deaf to the din,
    but in the mirror stands a crone.

  45. Little drummer boy sings
    a song of higher trombone
    notes.. with lower sounds..
    in greater growls.. jawbone
    rumbles human phones…

  46. scott says:

    a limerick using “trombone”
    was reason to get in the zone
    and spark up some pot
    yet soon I forgot
    which happens a lot when I’m stone

  47. Diane Groothuis says:

    I think I can help with that loan
    Of a book re the manly trombone
    As my memory fades
    Is it how many shades
    Of grey ?..well I once would have known.

  48. Jon Gearhart says:

    When you march in parades, be it known
    To steer clear of my wife on trombone.
    If her wretched tone fouls ya
    Or her slide disembowels ya,
    You’ll wish for a quick death alone

  49. kanzensakura says:

    There was a talent show years ago and one of the segments was a bland looking young man with a trombone. He began just some basic slides and then suddenly, he began playing with much style and dancing while he played. it was an arresting performance and I have never seen such like it since – I watched it on YouTube. Interest choice of words for this limerick off.

  50. Dell Clover says:

    A limerick genius, how fun!

  51. Sumana Roy says:

    My first limerick to be shown
    Slowly breaking the finger bone
    Words smoke up
    Nothing in brain cup
    Still I will laugh and never moan….

  52. C.J. says:

    Ha, ha, ha. This is hilarious. :) I’m a sax girl.

  53. lynn__ says:

    Our librarian took up trombone
    Between bookshelves she’d practice her tone
    Ms. Zamboni, we say,
    Plays tromboni all day,
    Never mind signs that read “Quiet Zone”!

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    A horny young man named Malone
    Just purchased a fancy new phone.

    For texting – you bet
    And for sexting he’ll get

    High-quality pics of his bone.

  55. Dave Johnson says:

    She spent the whole weekend alone;
    With no need to answer the phone.

    The guy she had met
    Was extremely upset

    By her laugh at the sight of his bone.

  56. Ian Graham says:

    Our orchestra’s lonesome trombone
    Used to slide in and out on his own.
    Now he’s living in sin
    With the first violin
    And she fiddles until his bone’s blown.

  57. Dave Johnson says:

    He was hired to play a trombone
    At a socialite club in Bayonne.

    His notes were quite mute
    But a bulge in his suit

    Caused the standing ovation alone.

  58. Kaye Robrts says:

    When Dad gave her a car of her own
    Reluctant to leave it alone

    She would sleep there and hide in it
    Let no one ride in it

    Till they were scrubbed to the bone

  59. They speak of a Sherpa whose bone
    Resembles a mountain of stone;
    They find Himalayan
    Their wives ev’ry day, an’
    “Won’t he Everest?” they all groan.

    (OK, I think it should be Hi-MAH-layan, but that’s nowhere near as funny.)

  60. A fellow who plays the trombone
    Can get many a musical moan
    By using her south-piece
    Instead of a mouthpiece
    To gliss her erogenous zone.

  61. I told him: “The ancient trombone
    Never dies.” The old man gave a groan.
    “It’s true,” said the duffer.
    “Instead, we just suffer
    From Sack-Butt. Now leave me alone.”

    (A sackbut is an ancient trombone.)

  62. kaykuala h says:

    Just do it and pick no bones
    Not happy to see him all alone
    Give him space
    At whatever age
    It is no fun to let him moan


  63. My wife said, “Your friend and his bone
    Should just leave the ladies alone!”
    I felt that her state-
    ment would carry more weight
    Were she not lying under him, prone.

    (This is fiction, of course!)

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    I saw the x-ray of my bone
    It seems that only one leg has grown

    Much to my chagrin
    I’ve been turned down to do the ballet in:

    “Lili’, which starred Leslie Caron

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    That was really bad: Let me try again!

    I saw the x-ray of my bone
    It seems that only one leg has grown

    Now I can’t do the ballet
    My favorite to this day:

    “Lili”, starring Leslie Caron

  66. Fred Bortz says:

    Poor Adam, in Eden alone,
    Awoke to a feminine moan.
    It was no mistake,
    As confirmed by an ache
    In his suddenly modified bone.

  67. Dave Johnson says:

    The dog went to bury his bone
    In a clearing where they were alone.

    As he raced to a spot,
    Over them he did trot;

    The result – a big gasp and a moan.

  68. Allen Wilcox says:

    Well, oh, how he loved the trombone.
    When he played, he went into a zone.
    When he fin’ly came out –
    No fam’ly about,
    So he went back to playing alone.

  69. Allen Wilcox says:

    He noticed his privates had grown –
    Both the size of his balls and his bone.
    He tried figid showers,
    But after four hours,
    He decided to leave it alone.

    His wife alternated a groan
    Back and forth between that and a moan.
    Her friends were so jealous
    That he was so zealous
    That she lent out both him and his bone.

    He soon had no time of his own.
    He even considered a clone.
    But he went to a doc
    Who calmed down his cock,
    So that it was more toothpick than bone.

    He could then tell his wife by her tone
    Had become just a bit os a crone.
    He took to hard tippling,
    Then borrowed some Kipling,
    “She’s a rag, hank of hair, and a bone.”

    At first he concluded his bone
    Had destroyed the good life he had known.
    But though it was small,
    And had only one ball,
    He at least now could call it his own.

  70. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 216.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Rhyme Pad.