Limerick of the Week (216)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Robert Schechter:
The sexiest instrument’s known
As the brassy and sassy trombone.
It loves to be slid.
There’s no hornier id!
But mostly it loves to be blown.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Janice Canerdy, Ian Graham, Fred Bortz, Will T. Laughlin, Konrad Schwoerke, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
The bounciest girl he had known
Was astride him, and couldn’t be thrown.
But her thrusts were so rough
That he cried “That’s enough —
I think you’ve just broken my bone!”
Janice Canerdy:
Sue’s not in the bedroom alone,
But hubby’s as cold as a stone.
She begs, “Take this pill?”
He says, “Yes, I will.”
Her man is now bad to the bone.
Ian Graham:
Our orchestra’s lonesome trombone
Used to slide in and out on his own.
Now he’s living in sin
With the first violin
And she fiddles until his bone’s blown.
Fred Bortz:
In Genesis, God used a bone
To make Eve, though she wasn’t a clone.
So much for reliance
On DNA science!
Creationist truth has been shown.
Will T. Laughlin:
TO THE BOARD OF REGENTS
You demand explanations be shown
Why I met with my student alone.
Well, her field’s dinosaurs,
So she went through my drawers
‘Til she found my old fossilized bone.
Konrad Schwoerke:
The wifey had started to moan,
“When you’re out every night, I’m alone,
And your mistress gets bed…”
Interrupting, I said,
“Stop your bitching!” and threw her a bone.
Dave Johnson:
He was hired to play the trombone
At a socialite club in Bayonne.
His notes were quite mute
But a bulge in his suit
Caused the standing ovation alone.
Will T. Laughlin:
MEMO FROM THE DEFENSE DEPT.
Dear contractor: We have a bone
To pick. We had ordered a drone.
What you sent us in lieu
Is a didgeridu.
Very funny. Come back when you’re grown.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Ian Graham, Janice Canerdy, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
A great week of limericks! Congrats all!
Congrats to all! Thanks, Mad.
These people are so brilliant!!
oh the limericks were great :)))