Limerick Okays (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

An employee who needed okays…*

or

A fellow was dating two Kays…*

or

The races he likes are 5Ks…*

or

I was stumped by a word with three Ks…*

or

Never act without getting okays…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Okays
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A horse trainer needed okays,
But his boss kept him waiting for days.
Those delays made him bridle:
“That hack is so idle!”
Then, alas, he was saddled with nays.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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71 Responses to “Limerick Okays (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Chris Doyle says:

    If you’re stumped for a word with three Ks,
    Webster’s has one that’s sure to amaze.
    “Kinnikinnik”: the name
    Of a plant that’s the same
    When it’s spelled either one of two ways.

    “Kinnnikinnik” is the longest palindrome in Webster’s Third New International Dicitonary.

  2. Chris Doyle says:

    “This plant deserves more than okays,”
    Reverend Spooner said, sparing no praise.
    “See its mesh of racemes?
    That is part of God’s schemes,
    For He works in wisteria’s maze.”

  3. Chris Doyle says:

    Our lab rat, for cheese, ran 10Ks,
    But of late appears lost in a daze.
    He has yet to complete
    This new task, and won’t eat
    If he doesn’t start wending his maze.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    You say there’s no word with three Ks?
    My cousin in jail has a phrase -
    The poor fellow stutters
    Whenever he utters
    “Oh, fuck–k-k, crime never pays.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Pascal wouldn’t wait for okays;
    His ideas never ceased to amaze.
    He would tell the discerning
    “My mind is just burning
    With notions – in fact, I’m a Blaise”.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    The photographer got the okays
    To record revolutionary days.
    He said to Guevara
    “Forget the cigar, a
    Nice smile for the photo – say Che’s.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    They say memory’s numbered in Ks,
    But my mind is in rather a daze.
    All those digital bytes
    Give me somnolent nights;
    When I count them, my eyes simply glaze.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    Says the hooker in London, “Two Ks”,
    But something about her dismays.
    It isn’t her price
    That fails to entice,
    But the hundreds of pounds that she weighs.

  9. Chris Doyle says:

    My cabriolets drew okays,
    Like my carriages, hacks, and coupés.
    Every vehicle type
    Was deserving of hype,
    But my clients just cut to the chaise.

  10. Chris Doyle says:

    The Grand Coulee, once built, drew okays
    Though it caused many boating delays.
    When construction had ended,
    Most sailors just tended
    To dam it, instead, with faint praise.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    The minstrel was dating three Kays
    And fancied a triplicate ‘baise’,
    But when trying to make it
    His heart couldn’t take it,
    So they were the minstrel’s last lays.

  12. Chris Doyle says:

    Cottage cheese that I make gets okays,
    But the work that’s involved would amaze.
    And if you were to ask
    Do I love every task,
    I’d reply, “Let me count all the wheys.”

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    Doctor Spooner detested ‘Okays’
    And the slovenly speech that’s today’s.
    He would say, “My good friend,
    I must ask you to mend
    Your turkey-like wobbling gays.”

  14. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    Every week for at least two days
    One had a tat “good show.”
    The other “ahoy down below.”
    And to each he gave praise with a raise.

  15. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    And each he would always amaze.
    For them he would love
    Below and above
    But soon found other pastures to graze.

  16. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    But for him it never would faze
    When playing hot games
    He mixed up their names
    Same names now he claims saved the days.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    Never act without getting okays:
    But this leads to NOs or long delays.
    Don’t be a pawn:
    Explain later on.
    You will learn that initiative pays.

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    Never act without getting okays
    From lovers: don’t cause hurts or dismays.
    Don’t upset your mate,
    It’s better to wait
    Till you get to learn his or her’s ways.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    Both needed love;lots of strong praise.
    But he’s going broke,
    They need verbal strokes,
    And jewels from Tiffany’s not Kay’s!

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    SORRY! ROFL!!!

    Cafes, cabarets, and good buffets,
    Entrees, fillets, braise, and sauce purees.
    My tummy okays
    This food-funny phase!
    Sundaes,frappes, parfaits, and souffles!

  21. scott says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays,
    and really enjoyed the three-ways,
    but Kays found their charms.
    in each other’s arms,
    and he hasn’t seen them for days.

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    The artist pronounced his okays
    As he finished the painting with glaze.
    But it aged where it hung
    While the subject stayed young,
    For the portrait is Dorian Gray’s.

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    She murmurs “Oh, Wow!”s and “Okay!”s,
    And yet somehow her eyes seem to glaze
    When she’s bringing him off,
    For she’s bored by this toff,
    But she’ll blow any fellow who pays.

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    Doctor Spooner declared that “Oh, Kay” ’s
    A show that its welcome outstays.
    “Though they’re Wodehouse’s lines
    And his shit often whines,
    Gershwin’s music has seen better days.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    The young redneck had learnt the three Ks,
    And was eagerly countin’ the days
    Till becomin’ a man
    In the ole Ku Klux Klan
    By settin’ some black folks ablaze.

  26. Ira Bloom says:

    The evangelists shouted okays,
    To the plot to bring on End of Days,
    By converting the Jews.
    (When my tribe got the news,
    We responded with countless Oy veys).

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    (In the limerick above, I originally used the ‘N’ word instead of ‘black folks’, but I feared that even on a site as politically incorrect as this one, it might be unacceptable, so I bowdlerized it.)

  28. rbasler says:

    The bridesmaids all carried bouquets
    Made from corn, maybe you call it maize
    The groom, name of Bob,
    Also carried a cob,
    He’s a COLONEL who LOVES his wordplays….

  29. Chris Doyle says:

    For Brian Allgar:

    Oscar Wilde finds a fruit that decays
    In bizarre and mysterious ways:
    Its aroma won’t fade
    Or its color change shade,
    And then suddenly durian grays.

  30. Loyd Dillon says:

    The organization Three K’s,
    The pne setting crosses ablaze,
    Has now been replaced
    By the GOP’s abased
    Tea Party it seems nowadays.

  31. Jen Harris says:

    A fellow was dating three K’s
    But online, so he had little praise
    When Keith, Ken and Kyle
    Upended his style
    With first-date surprises; no lays.

  32. CJ@ProArtz says:

    Franz was stumped for a word with three Ks
    With his awful and bad-spelling ways.
    Chained to a court desk
    When he wrote “KafKa-esK,”
    He described ‘The Trial’ with that phrase.

  33. CJ@ProArtz says:

    The boss man was dating two Kays
    And bought them both new négligées.
    Kay 1 donned the bright red.
    Kay 2 went naked to bed.
    Which Kay do you think got a raise?

  34. Jon Gearhart says:

    When searching for synonyms, Kay’s
    Sister Sue can provide them for days.
    Who cares which word Kay chooses
    If Funk n Wagnall Sue uses
    Or if Sue used her funkin’ Roget’s?

  35. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    “My report card is filled with, huh, K’s?
    There’s more grades that come after the A’s.”
    “Look me square in the I,
    And I’ll tell you the Y:
    It’s because you keep smoking the J’s.”

  36. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    If you wouldn’t mind, Mad, and at your convenience, please remove the quotation marks beginning line two of the above post. Sorry and thank you.

    Note from Mad Kane: Done. At least, I think I did what you wanted me to. You might want to double check.)

  37. Val Fish says:

    I’ve just won the lottery, ten K,
    I’m planning my dream holiday
    Where it’s clear blue seas
    And ninety degrees
    Shit, I’ve thrown the ticket away

  38. Val Fish says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    Seeing them on alternate days
    Double booking one night,
    And ensuing cat fight
    Saw the end of his two-timing ways

  39. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    You did right, Mad, thanks again.

  40. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Though most nobles, at best, rate okays
    For fellatio, one would amaze.
    Sadly, now she is dead,
    But she once gave great head;
    None was better than Lady Jane Grey’s.

  41. Jon Gearhart says:

    When searching for synonyms, Kay’s
    Sister Sue can provide them for days.
    Who cares if Sue chooses
    Funk n Wagnall or uses
    A word from her funkin’ Roget’s?

  42. Jon Gearhart says:

    If you’re stumped by a word with three Ks
    You must simply approach it two ways:
    Search New York and DC.
    You’ll find two there for free:
    “Knickerbocker” and “Kickback” displays!

  43. Val Fish says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    Satisfying him in different ways
    Whilst Kate number one
    Was always great fun
    Number two gave amazing B-J’s.

  44. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Something radioactive decays
    And emits lots of super strong rays.
    They will not give you powers
    For leaping o’er towers,
    But cause more than eyebrows to braise.

  45. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Seems our Reynolds is fond of AKs
    And the hundreds of bullets one sprays.
    Though he wrote a disclaimer,
    I know he’s an aimer
    Just waiting for someone to blaze.

  46. Tim James says:

    A fellow in bed with two Kays
    Was heard to give words of high praise:
    “This is all kinds of fun;
    Betcha can’t eat just one!
    These gals are two wonderful Lay’s!”

  47. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Instead of some paltry okays,
    My invention will garner high praise.
    It’s a fission pipe lighter;
    A real hot igniter,
    So surely in glory I’ll blaze.

  48. CJ@ProArtz says:

    The races he liked were 5Ks
    with challenging, thin passageways.
    So he turned his right side
    toward each narrow divide
    And shimmied through each one edgeways.

  49. CJ@ProArtz says:

    Never act without getting okays
    To change pastures where cows can go graze.
    If the field has short grass,
    It will sure be your ass
    When the cattle have blocked the fairways.

  50. CJ@ProArtz says:

    An employee who didn’t get okays
    Moved his desk into the hallways.
    The day he acquired
    A new chair, he was fired
    For lounging his days in a chaise.

  51. Debbie says:

    An employee who needed okays
    Was full of some mighty malaise
    Bad cop wanted to shoot
    But he’d then get the boot
    So instead he decided to taze

  52. Debbie says:

    An employee who needed okays
    saw a beauty outside the truck bays
    as he watched her walk by
    He dropped hot kosher chai
    And muttered a bunch of oy veys

  53. Brian Allgar says:

    Humbert Humbert just mumbles okays
    When marrying old Mrs Haze,
    But her daughter Lolita
    Is temptingly sweeter,
    And Humbert is counting the days …

  54. Jon Gearhart says:

    An employee who needed okays
    From her boss was receiving bokays.
    His wife did resent ‘er
    When roses he sent ‘er
    The day she got TWO big fokays!

  55. Jon Gearhart says:

    EDIT:

    An employee named Kay got okays
    From her boss by receiving bokays.
    His wife did resent ‘er
    When roses he sent ‘er
    The day that she got ‘er fokays!

  56. Kathleen Cole says:

    In a world of okay, I am okay,
    You’re okay, if merely today,
    Everyone’s bland,
    Head in the sand,
    Until religion enters the fray.

  57. Jon Gearhart says:

    Tweaked with Mad’s help:

    When searching for synonyms, Kay’s
    Sister Sue can provide them for days.
    Who cares if she’ll choose
    Funk n Wagnall or use
    A word from her funkin’ Roget’s?

  58. Allen Wilcox says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays
    In the hope that he might get two lays.
    They conferred and they said,
    “Your fantasy’s dead.
    You simply can’t have it two ways.”

  59. Allen Wilcox says:

    A fellow was dating two Kays.
    The three way they had did amaze.
    When they came up for air,
    The memories there
    Will last ’til the end of their daze.

  60. Allen Wilcox says:

    Never act without getting okays
    Unless not doing so really pays.
    Every rule that’s been spoken
    Has been made to be broken
    Ane written ones too.

  61. Allen Wilcox says:

    The races he likes are 5K’s
    Out under the sun and its rays.
    He contracted skin cancer
    And now has the snswer -
    Is it true exercise slways pays?.

    The rehab – it took months, not just days.
    For his doctors he had nothing but praise.
    It’s hard not to win
    With the skin that he’s in.
    He’s once again running 5K’s.

  62. Allen Wilcox says:

    An employee who needed okays
    Was startled to witness a blaze
    Break out in the store.
    He just walked out the door.
    His boss learned delegation sure pays.

  63. Allen Wilcox says:

    Though he races for fun in 5K’s',
    He takes time to screw dogs as he plays.
    Now this might seem odd,
    But he swears to his God
    Thant he only does it with strays

  64. Allen Wilcox says:

    Now once you have got to the K’s,
    Assuming you won’t mend your ways,
    It’s L, M, N, O, P’s
    Q, R, S, T, U, V’s
    W, X, Y, and Z’s – back to A’s.

  65. Cphenly says:

    A pitcher with twenty-six K’s
    Thinks that one more will win him great praise.
    He does not understand
    That to get them all fanned
    Took him four thousand twenty two days.

  66. Mark Kane says:

    A “Yes Man” will provide just okays.
    No ideas for some alternate ways.
    But he’ll plans your demise,
    With those other “Yes Guys”
    As he scrapes and delivers high praise.

  67. From pensions to 401-Ks
    We went, in those long-distant days;
    Now our fortunes are dwindling,
    For stocks were the kindling
    That set our life’s savings ablaze.

  68. We applaud when the Head Chef okays
    His filets in a veal demi-glaze.
    As he sends out the plate,
    Cries the maître d’: “Wait!
    Mr. Trump says it needs mayonnaise!”

  69. The Government, folding, OKs
    Cliven Bundy’s permission to graze.
    If it’s threat of a fight
    That determines a right,
    Well… then I propose arming the gays.

  70. Johanna Richmond says:

    So you’re curvy — don’t starve for okays,
    Join Mensa! Put in for a raise!
    Eat butter — buns fatter
    Boast better gray matter!
    *This* smart ass and I shan’t part ways!

  71. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 169.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Vice.