Hidden Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying to hide…*

or

A woman was trying to hide…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Hidden Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was trying to hide
The fact that he’d patently lied
In claiming to be
A chem Ph.D.,
When he never had even applied.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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52 Responses to “Hidden Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Veralynne says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    All his issues way down deep inside.
    Then, along came a gal
    Who was more than a pal.
    She helped his heart open — and wide!

  2. viv blake says:

    A fat fellow was trying to hide
    all the beer that he’d put inside
    so he pulled in his belt
    till it left a great welt
    but the flesh popped out either side.

  3. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    From his overly amorous bride.
    He said “Wait a bit!
    It’s time to admit
    I got sea-sick the last time I tried!”

  4. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    That his wife’s pet parrot had died.
    But sadly his cat
    Looked way too fat
    And thus she found out he had lied.

  5. Damyanti says:

    Lovely. Wish I had this kind of skill in limericks.

  6. Deb says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    That he ate the beans refried
    But when he had gas
    Friends pointed to his ass
    So could no longer be denied

  7. jesse levy says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    the sausage. But no one complied.
    He looked day and night
    for a gal most polite
    who would schtup him but not be a bride.

  8. Madeleine says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    That he’d accidently pressed override.
    With just seconds to spare
    No-one else was aware
    That this driver was unqualified.

  9. Madeleine says:

    A woman was trying to hide
    From a man who had recently died.
    Though no-one believed
    His ghost, she perceived,
    Was constantly there, by her side.

  10. Thom says:

    A woman was trying to hide
    Pantaloons got in the way of her stride
    She grunted and groaned
    In disgust she just moaned
    The poor whore had anything but pride

  11. Gordon Moore says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    The comp’nies he caused to have died
    But Neutie and Rick
    Called him a dick
    And showed Willard up to have lied.

  12. jesse levy says:

    A woman was trying to hide
    in the grave because she had died.
    But Frankenstein’s nuts
    Pretorius a putz
    and between them created The Bride.

  13. Rachel says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    The fact he had recently tried
    To use 9-1-1
    As his hired gun
    To buy tacos, drive-through, with no ride.

    Visit my blog to see the news link that inspired my limerick. :)

  14. A woman was trying to hide…
    The fact that her libido had died…
    When he showed up with a con-dom…
    She said “Don’t take it personally, Tom…
    But when I said I loved sex, I lied.”

  15. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow was trying to hide,
    From self-loathing he couldn’t abide,
    ‘Till he tried on some hose,
    And sang “La Vie En Rose,”
    Now he wears his drag freak flag with pride.

  16. Bobby Clark says:

    A woman was trying to hide,
    Her lover she kept on the side.
    She met day and night
    Passions would ignite
    Her husband she cast aside.

  17. Manicddaily says:

    A fellow was trying to hide

    all the cash he had made on the side;
    Though he banked with the Swiss,
    joined the IRS list,
    after the U.S. subpoenied.

  18. Terri Brewer says:

    A woman was trying to hide
    she wished her husband died
    and when he found this out
    he didn’t scream and shout
    when of love he too had lied!

  19. scott says:

    A fellow was trying to hide,
    from the voice that bespoke suicide.
    Though we’ll never know,
    what haunted Van Gogh,
    his genius cannot be denied.

  20. Hansi says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    After he awoke to what was at his side.
    There she lay
    A nights romp in the hay
    But another night he simply could not abide.

  21. Blayne says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    Some bank robbery cash from his bride.
    But she was astute
    So she dug up the loot,
    Then retired in a villa seaside.

  22. Elaine says:

    A fellow was trying to hide,
    From six women, each claimed was his bride.
    When his half dozen wives
    Set upon him with knives
    “Rest In Pieces” was scribed when he died.

  23. Elaine says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    From six women, each claimed was his bride
    When his half dozen wives
    Set upon him with knives
    “Rest In Piece” on his headstone was scribed

  24. scott says:

    A woman was trying to hide,
    the fact that her hair had been dyed.
    But the truth would come out,
    and leave not a doubt,
    when she wore a swim thong poolside.

  25. Jim Delaney says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    As the pickets protested outside.
    “Mr. Long, they allege
    You’ve reneged on your pledge.”
    Huey said to him: “Tell them I lied.”

  26. A fellow was trying to hide
    The rabbit that stood by his side
    In bonnet and frock
    What a terrible shock
    When the vicar did unveil the bride

  27. A fellow was trying to hide
    Some cash that he earned on the side
    As a writer of fiction.
    His craft caused conviction–
    When he filled out his taxes, he lied.

  28. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman was trying to hide
    What her skinny jeans broadly belied.
    Her mound, though with merit,
    Was shaped like a carrot;
    Some details one can’t push aside.

  29. J Sardo says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    A terrible loss to his pride
    He convinced a sweet thing
    To have a grand fling
    But the thing failed to rise and the fling was denied

    The poor guy forgot to take his Viagra
    When he does it falls like Niagara
    Now he keeps one in his wallet
    So if he meets a gal quite scarlet
    He won’t go home to stew marinara

  30. A fellow was trying to hide
    His ears, which he thought rather wide;
    Sewed the tops with fine thread
    Pulled tight over his head,
    Now he looks just like Spock from each side.

  31. A fellow was trying to hide
    A secret he held deep inside
    Do not try to heckle
    The old Doctor Jekyll
    It’s one thing he cannot abide

  32. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    the fact that he once had implied
    that the poor were to blame
    for themselves, a con game
    whose sole aim was to cheat and misguide.

  33. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    the fact he had more than one bride
    ‘sides his legal ‘true’ spouse.
    She found out. Now their house
    is not where this ex-hub does reside.

  34. RJ Clarken says:

    A lady was trying to hide
    the fact that she could not abide
    bacterial threats
    but to have no regrets
    she used buckets of strong germicide.

  35. Thomas says:

    A woman was trying to hide
    her husband and laid him aside
    she gave him a kick
    he fell like a brick
    in a hole so deep and wide

  36. Johanna Richmond says:

    Newt Gingrich was trying to hide
    His black-as-coal soul so he cried,
    But “dear-mom” artillery
    Back-fired when Hillary
    Kit pronounced “Bitch” with great pride.

  37. brian miller says:

    a fellow was trying to hide
    from a woman who wanted a ride
    he stayed in the head
    until all noise was dead
    but soon out the door he was spied

  38. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mitt Romney is trying to hide
    How his old and new leanings collide.
    What is worse at its heart:
    Being nuts from the start,
    Or of sound mind but not bona fide?

  39. tashtoo says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    His fear somewhere deep down inside
    He ran on through the night
    Strengthened by fright
    From the world where true hearts reside.

  40. John Larkin says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    that he married an ugly bride.
    He told all he met
    of his tearful regret;
    the poor girl had gone off and died.

  41. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    The rope burns, when his boyfriend had died.
    He could make no excuse
    For such Wanton abuse,
    Hence the judge had to rule “homo-cide.”

  42. Janet McConnaughey says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    All the villainy roiling inside.
    He concocted a brew
    That split him in two.
    Dr. Jekyll was wrong to divide.

  43. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    The job for which he’d applied
    Not the only sad grad
    With a job that was bad
    Cleaning toilets and flushing his pride

  44. A fellow was trying to hide
    The fact that he broke down and cried
    He was too proud
    To mention aloud
    That a woman had wounded his pride

  45. Gordon Richmond says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    His “size” from the young, pretty bride,
    But soon she’d discover,
    Once under the cover,
    She’s in for a very short ride.

  46. zongrik says:

    A gangsta was tryin’ to hide
    The dirt he refused to provide
    The cops tired to probe
    Into his frontal lobe
    But they couldn’t get through his darn pride

  47. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was trying to hide 
    His fondness for foods that are fried, 
    But his tales can’t be worth 
    Very much, when his girth 
    Tells a story that can’t be denied. 

  48. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was trying to hide 
    As, deep undercover, he spied; 
    But a badly timed fart 
    Uncovered his part, 
    In the non-native tract it implied.

  49. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    All the workers he’d laid off in stride:
    “Heh,heh,heh…hold your wrath,
    My good friend. Do the math!
    Ten thousand’s chump change nationwide!”

  50. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    His nature (mean, callous and snide),
    But it’s hard to shrug off 
    With a wink and a scoff
    What he did to his number two bride.

    So the newt did what Newt does so well:
    Told his critics to all go to hell.
    With a blood-thirsty base,
    Best grow fangs to save face.
    Can you hear Willard Romney’s death knell?

  51. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was trying to hide
    The package he kept deep inside,
    But that Lap Dance felt great,
    So he suffered his fate,
    With her slow grinding motions astride.

  52. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
    You can find the winners list here: Limerick of the Week 45.

    But don’t worry — you can still have fun writing limericks: A new Limerick-Off has already begun: A Plateful Of Limericks.