A Case Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman at work on a case…
or
A fellow at work on a case…
Here’s mine:
A Case Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An attorney at work on a case
Was finding some facts hard to face.
She feared that her client
(A mild-mannered giant)
Killed his wife cuz he wanted more space.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Crime, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Marriage Limerick, Murder Limerick, National Personal Space Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Personal Space Day, Personal Space Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A fellow at work on a case
Bent down to tie his shoe lace
A woman thought he had some nerve
Calling him a perve
Slapping him across the face
I played with the first line a bit. Sorry.
A harlot at work on a case
Got splinters in her pretty pink base,
“When a guy wants a quickie
You can’t be too picky
And there was really no other place.”
A woman at work on a case…
Pressed for time but was amazed
She could do without
But hubby could not
In a daze in the house for what he missed
My muse has dried up as I have tried to respond in verse. This is a fun one, too. These are great.
A woman at work on a case
Decided she needs her own place
Her partner got miffed
But gave her a gift
And covered her files with mace
A woman at work on a case
Said “My patient’s heart it does race!”
Then she rang her small bell
And shouted “Oh Hell!”
“In my book I’ve just lost my place!”
..Killed his wife cuz he wanted more space..ugh…you’re going dark today…ha…reminded me of the book i read yesterday..cold ash by samuel beckett….excellent…but well…too much killing…not for more space though…smiles
A woman at work on a case
Of Champagne that she chilled at her place,
Kept steadily drinking.
But what was she thinking?
She couldn’t maintain this fast pace.
A fellow at work on a case
Yelled, “What hamfist sketched out this face?!
“Suspect’s eyes/ears transposed?!
“Two-tone lips?! Double-nosed?!” …
“Name’s Picasso, he’s new round the place.”
A fellow at work on a case
Ended up with a very red face
For each tried combination
Caused so much frustration
And wouldn’t work in any case
A woman at work on a case
Was aiming to reunite Thrace
But she found out the Turks
Are really just jerks
So she’s going back over with mace…
A woman at work on a case
Of a butler who’d left in disgrace
Saw at once in her brief
He could not be the thief
Now he’s found in her service a place
A woman at work on a case
Found she had a big red pimple on her face.
She ran into some twit
Who claimed she had a zit
So she sprayed his face with mace.
In honor of Leymah Gbowee, Tawakul Karman, and Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf
A woman at work on a case
With two more entrenched in the race
to improve women’s plights
And achieve equal rights
Nobel Peace Prizes all interlace!
A woman at work on a case
needed to pick up the pace
so she bought a blood hound
went out on the town
and decided her steps to retrace
My entry, based on a true story (news link on my site)…
Batman is on the Case
A woman at work on a case
Had Batman show up at her place
Said he saw in the sky
The bat signal (no lie)
But she just didn’t trust his thin face.
A woman at work on a case
Heard a shot that shattered a vase
An irate hubby, you see,
A soon-to-be divorcee,
Was unhappy about losing his place.
A woman at work on a case
Was thinking thoughts so much more base
As reveries erupted,
Her work was interrupted.
She left work with a blush on her face.
Her client’s sad stories were hot
Of hubby’s red light district spot
Wifey’s details so complete
Ms. Esq. couldn’t keep her seat
So back to work she went–of course NOT!
Ms. Esq. was in need of a drink.
Ah! The cafe beside the skate rink!
A good place for meeting
Now, what’ll be her greeting?
On her way, she’ll calmly think.
But once Mr. Sexy comes by,
And gives her “that” look in the eye,
She knows she will melt,
He’ll have her under his belt,
‘Cuz all she’ll whisper is, “Hi.”
A woman at work on a case
Thought she would steal first base
The judge glared at her
And said with no slur
“Your a one bagger. Look at your face”
A woman at work on a case
in her heels fell flat on her face
Bending down for a clue
she fell off of her shoe
Now she works in a new pizza place.
The Lacy-See-Through Top
A woman who works on a case
Sues a male boss, she says on my face:
“He stares at my chest.”
“To me, he is obsessed.”
When she always wear see-thru-and-lace.
(no wonder!)
A woman at work on a case
Disappeared without leaving a trace
She exists only online
Where she is quite divine
But it’s been years since we’ve been face to face
A woman at work on a case
Forgot to consider her base.
She decided to run
Like an angry old nun.
Then Bachmann fell flat on her face.
A woman at work on a case
Was searching all over the place
For a classified folder
When her three-year old told her
He used it to make a cone vase.
A woman at work on a case
Tried to find who’d lifted her face
Not just a nip or tuck done
But the whole face was gone
A blank expression had taken its place.
A woman at work on a case
felt a hand on her rear out of place,
And she turned right around
found a creep, smiles abound,
so she sprayed him in the face with her mace!
A woman at work on a case,
felt that something was just out of place,
The maid’s door was ajar,
her lipstick on hubby’s collar,
and Mrs. held his severed head in embrace.
A woman at work on a case,
saw the suspect and felt her heart race;
He was the first boy she’d known,
who had now since grown,
into a menacing man with a scowl on his face.
Alaurilee
a man at work on a case
gave the crook a terrible chase
followed the clues
broke a few rules
but sentence he would have to face
Mad, indeed, *smiles* Love your limericks!
Pamela
A fellow at work on a case
Made an effort to quickly replace
Every bottle he took
With the stealth of a crook
‘Fore his wife could get wise to his drunken disgrace.
A woman at work on a case
Took a stroll through the park with her mace.
She confronted a lout who loitered about
Sprayed pepper in his eyes and oversize snout
Then bagged her case with the snout-swollen face.
Always a welcome humor break when I pass through. Thanks to all the limerick artists.
A woman at work on a case
Had to leave her new job in disgrace.
Every time that she spied
A cute guy, she had lied
And lay down in her client’s embrace.
Your limericks are so wonderful and I am always impressed by how easy you can create this and make them flow
Day of the Dead
A woman at work on a case
was crying over harm that did debase
She worried that the victim
would never go on a limb
and trust she’ll find justice for her case
I tried but I know I messed up :( Thanks so much for your visit :)
Hi Madeleine,
I just couldn’t come up with a thing this week. How sad is that?
Best Wishes,
Paul
A woman at work on a case,
She sits, staring skyward in a daze;
She sees and believes the words that in air she just read
Words from a guy who just last night first shared her bed;
The ? following the plane just left her dripping in glaze.
A fellow at work on the case
for interplanetary space
said, “Pluto still rocks.
To haters…a pox!”
(This comes from his vast knowledge base.)
A fellow at work on a case
for solutions which would well erase
his criminal trail
were a huge epic fail.
Now he’s in a confined prison place.
A woman at work on the case
of the sequencing of Fibonacci
said, “Yes, mathematics
tunes, poems, dramatics
and more find it prime. It’s got grace.
A guy was at work on a case.
Of how to get out of her place.
He got what he came for
And left that poor dame sore.
But now how to leave and save face?
A guy was at work on a case
For a dancer who barely wore lace.
The charge, lewd behavior.
Could he be her savoir?
Well the men in this court were her base.
A woman at work on a case
vanished without leaving a trace.
The cops say her client,
a tad too compliant,
had a shit-eating grin on his face.
A woman at work on a case
Of a guy who was gone with no trace
Was intrigued by the clue
That his sexy wife, Sue,
Wore a satisfied smirk on her face.
A fellow at work on a case
Galactically fell from grace:
Through judicial robe zipper
Out slipped the big dipper
As “All rise!” reverbed through the place.
I think this revision might be a bit better:
A fellow at work on a case
Galactic’ly tumbled from grace:
Through judicial robe zipper
Out slipped the big dipper
When “All rise!” reverbed through the place.
Thanks everyone for your delightful limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over, and you can find out who won here: Limerick of the Week 31.
But don’t worry — a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Take A Shot At Limericks.
of course I was late but I still wanted to post..
Case Closed
A fellow at work on a case
behind in the legal rat race
was caught taking a bribe
from the cities new “tribe”
now inmates and bars fill his space…
Written By: Patricia Sawyer
10-13-2011
Patricia, a good limerick is always welcome. :)