Our Banished VEEP
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’ll be banished from office, VEEP Dick;
Not his job, but his real estate pick.
He had primo House space,
But eviction he’ll face,
Cause the Democrats won. What a kick!
(My Dick Cheney humor is collected here.)[tags]Cheney Office Space, Richard Cheney Humor, Election Humor, House Humor[/tags]
Limerick For Bush’s Brain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The man who’s called George Bush’s Brain
Has been weakened. Yes, that much is plain.
I doubt he got kicks.
From Election Oh-Six,
Which was won by the Dems, Dubya’s bane. [tags]Election 2006, Bush’s Brain, The Architect, Karl Rove Humor[/tags]
Fair And Balanced Haiku
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Democratic win
Is Terrorist Victory:
Fair and balanced Fox.
Joe’s Jive
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Joe warns: Compromise
And heed election’s lessons.
A not so veiled threat?
Trent Lott’s Revenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane
GOP misdeeds
Make Lott look nearly saint-like,
Enabling comeback. [tags]Election ’06 Humor, Trent Lott Comeback, Lieberman Humor, Fox News, Fair And Balanced, Terrorist Victory[/tags]
Avedon Carol says that winning doesn’t settle it, and I certainly agree. Just because Democrats won this year, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do something about the integrity of our voting process and ensure fair elections. And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Hack This Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A ballot should faithfully note
Each candidate getting a vote.
But election machines
Can be hacked and that means
Voters don’t have a trustworthy tote.
Update: To keep up to date with e-voting issues, The Brad Blog is the place to be.
(You can find lots of my technology, computer, and SEO humor columns, song parodies and verse here.) [tags]E-Voting, Electronic Voting Humor, Voting Machines, Election Humor, Software Hacking[/tags]
I was amused to read that, in the wake of last week’s Republican debacle, Karl Rove remains “steadfast,” and that he believes the loss was largely Foley’s fault. Moreover, Mary Matalin still views Rove as “the Zen master of movement politics.”
I think it’s time for a new haiku:
Haiku For A Former “Genius”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dream of Bush’s Brain:
Permanent Majority,
Surgic’ly removed. [tags]Karl Rove Humor, Election Humor, Bush’s Brain, The Architect, Permanent Republican Majority[/tags]
Needless to say, I’m very happy about Tuesday’s election results. And yet, I can’t resist the impulse to get just a little bit greedy:
Mad Kane Gets Greedy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am blissful, contented, and happy.
The election results weren’t crappy.
But for pleasure inflated,
To make me elated,
Impeach Cheney/Bush. Make it snappy!
=========
And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Dems Sing ‘Our House Is A Very, Very, Very Blue House’
* Carnival of Satire
* Kicking Elephants and Taking Names
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Personal Growth Carnival
[tags]Election Humor, Impeachment Humor, Cheney/Bush Humor[/tags]
As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!” I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, which just happened to be announced two days before Election Day. Uh-huh … right.
A Convenient Noose (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Saddam’s death sentence.
Serendipitous? Hardly!
Leave no scheme behind. [tags]Saddam Hussein, Death Penalty, Death By Hanging, Election Day Humor, SNL’s Churchlady [/tags]
Chalk it up to pre-election delirium, but I just wrote a Bush-Cheney song parody to Winter Wonderland, without realizing that I used the same tune back in 2004 for a pre-election song parody. Fortunately, a bad memory does have some benefits, so the lyrics are quite different. Here’s my new one:
Bush and Cheney’s Blunderland (Sing to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
No debate. Stop your braying.
“Fantastic” at war!
Bush Rummy adores.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.
War is hard, but we’re winning.
GOP, lies and spinning.
Our war in Iraq
Is really on track.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.
Bush and Rove are great at building straw men.
Then they proudly knock their straw men down.
Dub implies we’re traitors.
We’ll say, “No Man!”
It’s time to stop pretending you’ve been crowned.
Ev’ry day, they conspire.
Reckless knaves, thieves, and liars.
The Bush/Cheney reign,
Democracy’s bane.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.
=========
And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Worst Political Websites.
* I like Avedon when she’s in a snit.
* Don Davis’s Kerry: How Do You Ask Me To ‘Die’ For My Last Mistake?
* OneGoodMove has the New York Times’ latest editorial, and it’s a great one.
* Gary Trudeau Profile. (Via Alternative Hippopotamus)
* No Bush profiteering op left behind.
* Carnival Time: Carnival of Satire and Carnival of the Vanities.
* I sure hope journalists everywhere read this column and heed its counsel.
* Eric Schwartz sings his Clinton Got A Blowjob.
A pair of poems today — more serious than usual — inspired by the latest attempt to swift-boat John Kerry, and Kerry’s finally finding his voice in response to the Rove orchestrated attacks on him:
When I hear Gore speak, I sigh for what could have been.
When I watch Kerry speak, I eye what should have been.
When I see Bush speak, I cry for our citizens.
Kerry’s mad as hell
And won’t take it anymore.
Late, but still welcome.
[tags]John Kerry, Tony Snow, Swift-Boating, Strawmen, Election, Bush Lies, Al Gore, Karl Rove[/tags]
Today I have a limerick about Lynne “What Lesbian Novel?” Cheney, and her audacity in bashing Jim Webb as a smut writer. But first some info about my appearance last Friday on The Surreal News Show on Sarasota, Florida’s WSLR 96.5 LP FM Radio.
The interview went pretty well — nearly 45 minutes of talk about politics, humor, limerick writing, George Bush & Laura, Rush Limbaugh and Michael J. Fox, Katherine Harris, 9/11, etc.
I also read a few of my poems, sang one of my song parodies, and talked about how I went from oboe playing, to lawyering, to GOP mockery.
If you’d like to give it a listen, it’s archived here. (My segment begins ten minutes into the show.)
And now, my latest limerick:
Ode to Lynne “What Lesbian Novel?” Cheney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The author of Sisters, named Lynne,
Thinks her party at all costs must win.
She denies that her book
Has a lesbian hook,
And blasts Dems for their fictional sin. [tags]Lynne Cheney, Senate Race, Jim Webb, George Allen, Sarasota, Florida, WSLR Radio, Surreal News, Lesbian Novel, Sisters, Election Humor, GOP Porn[/tags]
Nixing the Chicks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
NBC nixes
Ad for Dixie Chicks movie.
Flips bird at fairness.
(The song parody I wrote back in 2003 about the Dixie Chicks being treated like traitors is here.) [tags]Country Music, Dixie Chicks, Documentary, Patriotism Humor, NBC Ads, Censorship[/tags]
I usually avoid writing about (or listening to) Rush Limbaugh. But Limbaugh’s outrageous attack on the ailing Michael J. Fox, followed by his non-apology apology, inspired me to write this pair of poems. First, my Rush haiku:
Limbaugh’s Fox attack:
Pestilence in broadcasting,
Toxic radio.
And now, my limerick:
Limbaugh maligned Michael Fox,
Who is ill and admired and rocks.
But drug popping Rush
Doesn’t know when to hush,
And he’s happy to sick people mock.
Update: For some Limbaugh laughs, check out Don Davis’s Limbaugh ‘Stays The Coarse’: Claims FDR Faked Polio, and Limbaughtomy.
And for your further reading (and viewing) pleasure:
*** Norm at OneGoodMove has Letterman’s amusing February video.
*** The latest Carnival of Satire.
*** The latest Carnival of the Liberals.
*** The latest Carnival of the Vanities.
*** Why did the Bush family, via daughter Jenna, purchase over 98,000 acres of land in Paraguay? Scorpio has an interesting theory, and Skippy has another good theory. (Via Avedon Carol)
*** The Carnival of Success.
[tags]Rush Limbaugh, Michael J. Fox, Campaign Ads, Senate Campaign, Stem Cell Research, Parkinson’s Disease, Talk Shows, Radio Humor, Disability, Election Advertising, Election Humor[/tags]
Dear Dub,
You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help:
Tactic: Language games.
Strategy: Deceive voters.
Goal: Win at all cost.
[tags]Bush Haiku, Election Humor, Voters, Bush Lies, Language Games, Iraq Strategy, War Tactics, War Goals[/tags]
The “He Misled” Theme Song (Sing to the Mr. Ed Theme Song.)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead.
Go right to the source. He’ll lie of course.
Won’t give you an answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s never on a truthful course.
Lies you will be fed.
Pundits yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day.
And talking heads will rarely challenge the lies that the Bushies say.
George Dubya has no remorse, of course,
And Georgie will lie till his voice is hoarse.
He’d love to rule all the world by force.
But listen to this:
Happy days ahead!
(My previous “stay the course” humor is here and my song parodies are collected here.)[tags]Stay The Course, Election Day, Bush Misled, Bush Lies, Talking Heads, Pundits[/tags]
Jack Abramoff has been so helpful to the FBI’s widening corruption investigation, that they’ve given him his own desk. I never thought I’d say this, but keep up the great work, Jack!
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Chatty Jack
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Felon Jack has turned out to be chatty.
Were he female, some might call him catty.
He’s been telling great tales,
That could send guys to jail.
And he’s driving Republicans batty.
And now for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
*** Media Matters on Joe Lieberman and the lazy New York Times. (Via Skippy, who, like me, has started a second blog.)
*** Norm can always be counted on to provide video of Keith Olbermann’s great commentary. (And speaking of Norm, he’s just launched a forum.)
*** From The Specious Report, Rush Limbaugh Denies Going Off Meds to Criticize Fox.
*** Don Davis’s GOP Congress To Bush: ‘Don’t Stand So Close To Me’.
*** Shakespeare’s Sister observes an interesting phenomena: Boy, those Republicans sure know how to write sex books! [tags]Jack Abramoff, Republican Corruption, Congressional Corruption, FBI Humor, Justice Department, Criminal Investigation[/tags]
Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty. But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Bush Stays His Lying Course
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Of Iraq Dubya said, “stay the course.”
He repeated it till he was hoarse.
Yet he lies and avers:
I never used those words.
From the facts and the truth Dub’s divorced.
For more on this topic, check out Last Days Of President Bush, Just One Minute, Balloon Juice, Donklephant, Media Matters, The Washington Post and, on a lighter note, Don Davis.
[tags]Stay The Course, Bush Lies, Iraq Humor[/tags]
It’s always embarrassing for me to admit this, but Peggy Noonan and I went to the same high school — Massapequa High School on Long Island, New York. (I didn’t know her, though. Or if I did, I don’t remember her.)
As a sister Massapequan, I like to write Peggy Noonan the occasional poem. Today’s verse was inspired by this Peggy Noonan Wall Street Journal column, as dissected by Eric Boehlert in Media Matters.
Dear Peggy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Peg’s practicing projection
As the wingnuts often do.
Noonan’s accusations
Versus Dems come right on cue.
Conservatives are civil?
And the Dems would stop dissent?
Peggy, it’s your allies
Who would discourse circumvent.
My Peggy Noonan haiku is here, and my post about the many famous Massapequans (Jerry Seinfeld, the Baldwin brothers, etc.) is here.[tags]Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal, Massapequa High School, Massapequans, Media Matters, Projection, Dissent, Civil Discourse, Jerry Seinfeld, Baldwin Brothers[/tags]
What Atrios said, but in a pair of haiku:
Bin Laden is back,
Touted in GOP ads.
They’re proud of failure?
Frightening people
Is the goal of terrorists,
Like the GOP.
[tags]Terrorism, GOP Ads, Bin Laden, Scare Tactics, Bush Failure[/tags]
Every time I start thinking the press may finally be doing its job, I run across another example of media laziness and gullibility.
For instance, the record shattering August U.S. trade deficit received minimal coverage, almost as if it were a non-event.
Yet many “journalists” seemed all too eager to report, unchallenged, Bush’s “halving the budget deficit” claim, though this assertion is patently false.
But perhaps I’m not being fair. Cause let’s face it, Bush style accounting could improve just about anybody’s budget. Think how rosy yours would look if, with the flick of a black pen, you moved major expenses (housing? energy?) off budget.
And now it’s time for a limerick duo:
Trading On Fiction
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The trade gap is higher than ever.
Will Republicans fix it? No, never!
Yet the GOP yells:
“The economy’s swell.”
Don’t forget to click “Dem” with that lever.
Budget Reality Gap
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The deficit’s halved, claims George Dub.
But it’s gone way, way up. There’s the rub.
Yet the press prints and buys
Georgie Dubya’s big lies.
Once again, hard reality’s scrubbed.
For your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Norm at OneGood Move brings us the always hilarious Lewis Black.
* Skippy brings us a Kerry cahones video. (Now he grows a pair?)
* From Kevin Hayden, GOP’s Top Bloggers Abandon Ship, While Remaining in Denial.
* From Don Davis, Top Ten Things The Bushies Are Saying Behind The Evangelicals’ Backs.
* From The Talking Dog, an interview with Dr. Steven Miles, medical professor at the U. of Minnesota, and author of “Oath Betrayed” discussing medical complicity in torture, prisoner abuse, et al, in the war on terror.
[tags]Deficit Spending, Budget Deficit, Trade Deficit, Trade Gap, Press Humor, Gullible Journalists, Budget Lies, Off Budget Items[/tags]
Ode To The Garish Katherine Harris (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The gal who stole Bush his “election,”
Now is spurned like a lethal infection.
Her makeup is strange,
And she acts quite deranged.
She’s the fruit of unnat’ral selection.
My previous Katherine Harris limerick is here. And for more Katherine Harris humor, don’t miss the Instant Message from Rep. Mark Foley to Sen. Katherine Harris, as channeled by Alan Bisbort and About.com’s Katherine Harris humor section.
And speaking of Katherine Harris, I was just invited to appear on a radio show right smack in the middle of Harris’s turf: The Surreal News Show on Sarasota, Florida’s WSLR 96.5 LP FM Radio. My appearance is tentatively scheduled for Friday morning, October 27th, and I’ll post more info once details are finalized.
Oh, I almost forgot — the latest Carnival of the Liberals has been posted at World Wide Webers and it’s another good one. And be sure to read Don Davis’s very amusing The Great ‘Illiterary’ Contest: ‘Name’ The Bush Memoir and the latest (and always excellent) Carnival of Satire and to check out The Crisis In Our Nation’s Pants.
Update: I think the interview went fairly well and, if you’d like to, you can listen to it here.
[tags]Congresswoman Katherine Harris, Stealing Elections, Progressive Radio, Liberal Radio[/tags]
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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