Archive for the ‘Firearms & Guns Humor’ Category

The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

After yesterday’s Weapon Wonderland Song Parody, I thought I was done with gun posts for a while. But I guess not:

The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Violent video games are to blame,”
Claims the NRA, much to its shame.
Then it issues its own,
Meant for kids barely grown.
Yes, hypocrisy’s NRA’s name.

UPDATE: There’s some speculation that the National Rifle Association may not be behind this app. However, thus far, the NRA hasn’t disowned it.

Weapon Wonderland Song Parody

Monday, January 14th, 2013

You can hear me attempt to sing my Weapon Wonderland song parody a cappella here. But since I have a lousy voice, it might be safest to just read my parody lyrics:

Weapon Wonderland Song Parody (to be sung to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gun sales surge. Are you listenin’?
Ammunition keeps glistenin’.
They’re arming tonight and causing a fright.
U.S. Constitution arms the land.

People die for no reason.
Children shot! ‘Tis the season.
A terrible blight, each night after night.
Gun rights absolutists harm our land.

NRA and cronies claim our homeland
Must allow their arms in every town,
Claiming guns will help us.
We say “No man!
“The murder stats have got to go way down.”

Weapon fans have conspired.
Now our nation is mired.
With lives we have paid.
New laws must be made.
Or soon we’ll have a gun in every hand.

(Linked at DVerse Poets)

Limerick Ode To Wayne LaPierre

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

The NRA’s Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has a grand solution to incidents like the Newtown massacre: Station armed guards at every school in the country. Sane people aren’t buying it.

Limerick Ode To Wayne LaPierre
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The NRA’s Wayne LaPierre
Is busy pretending to care
About kids who are dead
And the lives that were shred.
But his sole goal is one we can’t bear.

Massacre Message (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2012

I’ve been meaning to write a serious limerick about gun violence for a long time. Today’s tragic Newtown Connecticut school shooting prompted this verse:

Massacre Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mindless murder and mayhem in schools.
U.S. mall assaults — gun wielding ghouls.
We seek a solution,
But hear: “Constitution!”
We need leaders — not NRA tools!

Outgunned By Cowardice (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Roger Simon says it all about gun baloney, but I still have to write this limerick:

Outgunned By Cowardice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Both Obama and Mitt are distressed,
By the movie house murders depressed.
But those gun lobby fears
Beget action-free tears:
Tighten gun control? Surely you jest!

(Cross-posted on Limerick Debate.)

Not Tickled Pink About Girlish Pink Guns

Friday, September 28th, 2007

I wish I were making this up but, alas, I’m not — pink guns for girls.

Firearms shops in the US are stocking pink rifles and shotguns to encourage girls to get into shooting. …

They include a Remington 20-gauge shotgun with a pink and black stock emblazoned with the slogan: “Shoot like a girl if you can!” …

“Females want to shoot guns, but they want them to look pretty, too,” he said. “Guys could give a rat’s butt what their gun looks like.”

I think it’s time to take aim at those guns with a limerick:

Not Tickled Pink About Girlish Pink Guns
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Would you like your young daughter to shoot?
Simply buy her a shotgun that’s cute.
But be sure that it’s pink.
It’s so pretty, she’ll think.
Breeding killers—a stylish pursuit.

(You can find more of my feminist humor here, my family humor here, and my outdoor sports humor here.)