Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WAVE or WAIVE at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WAVE or WAIVE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GRADUATION, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GRADUATION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 25, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 24, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

While I’m up on the stage, please don’t wave,
It’s embarrassing. Kindly behave.
I’m not four, five, or six.
No recordings! No pics…
Or say “Bye” to free tix that you crave.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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87 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WAVE or WAIVE at the end of any one line”

  1. Sharon Neeman says:

    Once again, on this page I am first!
    Here’s my limerick, quite unrehearsed —
    I’ll smile “Hi, Mad!” and wave,
    Hoping this is your fave —
    But if not, still, your day starts well-versed.

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    Donald took a young girl to his cave
    To become his new sexual slave.
    But she kneed him, escaped
    Before she was raped.
    ˝So long, Grabber !” She gave him a wave.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    “Global warming’s a hoax!” he would rave.
    “You oceans must learn to behave!
    Go back!” screamed the grnut,
    Just as daft as King Cnut …
    He was drowned by the first tidal wave.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    Premature burial

    They thought he was safe in his grave,
    The liar, the traitor, the knave.
    But they heard a faint moan,
    And the soil was upthrown
    As a tiny hand started to wave.

  5. Marty Gerendasy says:

    With a wink and a smile and a wave
    She could make any guy misbehave.
    And she’d always defend
    Her attempts to befriend.
    “I’m just giving the boys what they crave.”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    (Not a limerick – it’s from a current clerihew competition but it seemed appropriate.)

    Corbyn, Jeremy,
    Said “Theresa May expected to bury me,
    But it is I who will dance on her political grave
    While giving her the two-finger wave.”

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    I don’t have a permanent wave,
    So where is the straight hair I crave?
    Guess it doesn’t matter;
    “So pretty!”. guys flatter.
    Just their excuse not to behave!

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    “My rights, I’ve got no need to waive!”
    Said Trump in one more Twitter rave.
    All he does is lie,
    Then real truths, decry.
    A bully who just can’t behave.

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    Those hot broads? Just drive by and wave,
    You’re better off now to behave.
    Just do it by hand,
    Hot fantasy’s grand.
    Buy stocks with the money you save.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    Rising oceans, a HUGE tidal wave,
    Mar-a-Lago, a vast, watery grave.
    So climate change, deny,
    Greedy, corporate ally!
    Just deserts for that sick, bully knave.

  11. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Best of luck to the new group of grads!
    What a fine bunch of lassies and lads.
    May they all have success
    As they clean up the mess
    That was left by their moms and their dads!

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    Email address corrected.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    The line is a steep graduation
    From ‘risqué’ to ‘gross aberration’.
    That limit was breached
    When the President reached
    For a pussy to grab – that’s predation.

  14. Kirk Miller says:

    Every Brave and his tribe had to waive
    All the rights to the land that they’d crave.
    So I hope that you see
    It’s the land of the free,
    But no longer the home of the Brave.

  15. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    If Trump ever speaks to the nation,
    To state how he loves education,
    The vacuous coot
    Will expect a salute
    For his primary school graduation.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    “Your Honour,” the President pled,
    “I grabbed her, it’s true, where she said.
    I thought that she gave
    Me a welcoming wave,
    But it seems that she just meant ‘Drop dead!’ ”

  17. Mary mcgarvey says:

    Now when you’re a queen you must wave
    To the mobs of poor suckers who pave
    Comfort, wine and jewels
    On the path of she who rules.
    Also: marry to have babies, then they’ll rave!

  18. Dave Johnson says:

    The valedictorian’s talk,
    That proud “Pomp and Circumstance” walk;
    Hooray for the grads!
    While mothers and dads
    Think “How do we get out of hock?”

  19. There was an old sailor named Dave
    Who’d never been near a wave.
    He just sat on the pier,
    Drinking tankards of beer,
    And boasting of the fish that he’d saved.

  20. Correction: second line runs better with “Who’d never been near to a wave.”

  21. Patrice Stewart says:

    Hard-Pressed

    With one hand, he scrambles to wave
    To the Press (boy, another close shave!)
    While he’s hiding his finger —
    A real humdinger.
    But there’s no reputation to save.

    He used up their goodwill long ago:
    Daily lies on parade for the slow.
    Plus it seems that Sean Spicer
    Just couldn’t be nicer!
    (Which makes one think twicer.)
    “It” must be true, ’cause Trump says so.

  22. Patrice Stewart says:

    Naïve, But Still

    I sure wish we’d all graduate
    From Acceptance High instead of Hate
    Academy. Can’t we
    Use (un)common sense, see
    Things aren’t great, and it’s getting late…

  23. Patrice Stewart says:

    The Fate of the World Depends…

    To the current graduate: Good luck!
    May your goals exceed making a quick buck
    And we need you to fight
    The things Trump claims are right,
    All lies: swill, up it comes, like two-buck chuck.

  24. Hildy Zampella says:

    Five years comatose, outlook was grave
    Doctors said to his family, “Be brave.”
    He awoke! His librarian,
    (A quite bitter contrarian)
    Levied late fines she just wouldn’t waive

  25. Hildy Zampella says:

    Oh good heavens we just got one more!
    Graduation announcements galore!
    At last count, twenty three
    Will I ever be free
    From this card-buying, check-writing chore?

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    People looked at me with a frown
    I wore my traditional cap and gown
    I was last in my class
    I felt like an ass
    ‘ Cause my academic costume was up-side-down

  27. Hildy Zampella says:

    He flew by the seat of his pants,
    Never studied and blew his last chance
    His diploma was yanked
    His bright future- it’s tanked
    There’s no Pomp in this sad Circumstance

  28. Patrice Stewart says:

    Won’t Catch Him Napping

    Our Prez slowly sits up and blinks
    Then says, “Thought I’d catch 40 winks.”
    How un-Trump-like! he’d bay,
    I work nonstop each day!!
    We sure wish he’d time out: his “work” stinks.

    But he spouts at soiree, graduation,
    Blithely touting Trumped That! legislation.
    Good grief, can’t he just wave
    Bye! “If you don’t behave…”
    Toupee imports will drop: ah, salvation.

  29. Patrice Stewart says:

    Mad, I should have used “un-Trump-like”. Can you correct for me?

    Thanks very much,
    Patrice :)

    **************

    From Mad: Done.

  30. Patrice Stewart says:

    Fits Him to a T (Apologies to the Transgender Community)

    Trump To Leave Office! Nope; wave
    Goodbye to that headline (but save!).
    Since he lies, can’t the Press?
    Donald Seen in a Dress!
    Unimpressive: he needed a shave.

  31. Patrice Stewart says:

    Next-Gen Nightmare

    Trump’s the Prez now, boy; be brave.
    Hold tight to your seat ’cause he’ll waive
    Ev’ry non-Rep protection
    To match his erection
    (It’s quite a selection)
    Of laws speeding you to your grave.

  32. Patrice Stewart says:

    Clearly, Our Air’s Getting Thicker

    Hip Hip Hooray, Trump’s in off-
    Ice! Goodwill (our fingers) to scoff-
    Ers. They’ll get a waive —
    For now; we won’t save
    This country for delicate cough(ers).
    (Primary goal: fill those coffers!)

  33. Patrice Stewart says:

    Jason Went A’Roman

    He sailed in on a freshening wave
    Then saw her, and bowed: I’m your slave.
    Venus gazed up, mid, down,
    “Kiss the hem of my gown
    If you wish — once you’ve had a close shave.”

    He said to himself, Thought I’d had one.
    She’s a beaut, hanging out here could be fun.
    Days and nights trickled past
    But he spoke up at last:
    Slave was just an expression, love. I’m done

    With trav’ling, must get back to Greece
    To confirm there’s a large golden fleece
    Someplace I’ve never ventured.
    V: “Dear, you’re indentured
    To me — but go forth now in peace

    As each night here, your mighty erection
    Was proof of my (cough) fine selection.”
    At which Jase rolled his eyes;
    Venus looked coyly wise,
    Offered Argonauts (leakproof) protection.
    [J’s A’s fleeced; condoms thwarted infection :) ]

  34. Dave Johnson says:

    The commencement speech is so long,
    A murmur is heard from the throng.
    If this thing would go
    Like that 70’s show,
    Chuck Barris is banging a gong.

  35. Dave Johnson says:

    The surfer will wait for a wave;
    A spendthrift is likely to save.
    Sean Spicer reacts
    With alternative facts;
    Steve Bannon commutes from his cave.

  36. Dave Johnson says:

    His diploma is hung on the wall
    As he anxiously waits for the call.
    Twelve candidates still,
    One position to fill:
    A department store clerk at the mall.

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    I gave my Labrador a permanent wave
    Immediately she mated with “Collie Dave”
    She had so much allure
    And was certainly sure
    Her fellow doggy friends would simply RAVE!!

  38. Kay Davies says:

    I do wish our weather’d behave
    The rain washes o’er like a wave
    Everything’s wet
    And now I bet
    I’ll sink down in mud like a grave.

  39. Tim James says:

    Politicians! Why can’t they behave
    And exhibit the honor we crave?
    The depths that they reach
    Sap my powers of speech.
    So I show them my one-finger wave.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hubby and I worked hard to save
    Enough money for a double grave
    When we were finally there
    He kicked me in the rear
    I said, “Next time Dear, when you roll over, just wave”

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE

    Hubby and I worked hard to save
    Enough money for a double grave
    When we GOT THERE
    He kicked me in the rear
    I said, “Next time Dear, roll over and WAVE”

  42. Tim James says:

    Congrats to the grads! It’s your day!
    Let all that you’ve learned light your way!
    Now the world looks to you!
    To your own self be true,
    On this National Day of Cliché.

  43. Patrice Stewart says:

    It’s About Time We Had Space

    Take a breath, here at last — graduation!
    Relief and, yes, widespread elation.
    It’s cause for cessation
    Of former sedation;
    Most parents need one long vacation.

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mother worked so hard when she made
    A graduation dress of fine brocade
    It was just so grand
    Now I understand
    Why it’s so wonderful to enter first grade

  45. Tim James says:

    For the Class of 2017

    At Commencement in ’79
    Coiffed long hair and wide ties made us shine.
    Leisure suits were the fad.
    Lest you laugh, let me add:
    ‘Least our President wasn’t a swine.

  46. Michael Blum says:

    Mr. Trump was a billionaire knave.
    Then departed his posh high rise cave.
    Soon he entered the race,
    No iota of grace,
    We all send him a one-fingered wave.

  47. Mark G. Kane says:

    She’s cute, so I give her a wave,
    And smile as I try to look brave.
    She winks and waves back,
    Then wiggles her rack.
    Now I no longer fear she’ll behave.

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    We ladies threw our “caps” in the air
    The participants shouted a very loud cheer!
    The men did likewise
    Except for the guys
    Who were embarrassed ’cause they had no visible hair

  49. Frank Hubeny says:

    There once was a knight who was brave
    And he rode on his steed like a wave.
    Up and down, up and down,
    Bouncing up, down the town
    Seeking someone, besides him, to save.

  50. Patrice Stewart says:

    Fred and Diane (No Jack Here)

    My good friend from Phoenix is here!
    They love Portland, OR and its beer.
    Just drove off with a wave
    But tonight we’ll all sav-
    Or another good dinner with cheer :)

  51. Judith H. Block says:

    I’ve got my diploma, now what?
    I need doors to open, not shut.
    The world out there is cruel,
    So I’m off to grad school.
    Not ready for the salary rut.

  52. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker achieved graduation,
    And proudly shows johns her citation.
    She greets them with “Howdy!
    I’m ‘swallow cum laude’
    From Las Vegas School of Fellation.”

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    Then stepped up Senator Jones, “The Creep”
    “Commencement” speech at St Philip
    It was so boring
    Many were snoring
    At the end, we all fell asleep

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    When Donald Trump thought he could wave
    James Comey away like a knave,
    It worked out so well
    That he now gets to tell
    His lawyers “My ass you must save!”

  55. Brian Allgar says:

    The Donald is certain they’ll waive
    All the charges against him, though grave.
    “Forget prosecution –
    Our great Constitution
    Means Presidents can’t misbehave.”

  56. Brian Allgar says:

    This morning, incredibly brave,
    I tackle an incoming wave,
    And fend off some sharks …
    They’re plastic – what larks!
    That’s the bath done. And now for my shave.

  57. Dave Johnson says:

    Now Trump is refusing to save
    Our earth from the sun’s early grave.
    So dumb, he can’t see
    Mar-a-Lago will be
    A House with a permanent wave.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sally got a permanent wave
    In a place where some girls actually shave!
    When she called Pierre
    He said “I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!”
    Is this a way for a nun to behave?

  59. Randy Wagner says:

    There once was a ne’er-do-well knave
    Who, conception-wise, had a close shave.
    Hence he spawned a new rule:
    Put a sheath on your tool
    So shenanigans won’t make a wave.

  60. David Reddekopp says:

    We’re all graduates. Everyone passes!
    Though we sleepwalked through all of our classes
    As the final bell rings
    We’ve not learned any things
    Now we’re out in the world – on our asses!

  61. David Reddekopp says:

    If any of you are familiar with quantum physics:

    The electron just wouldn’t behave
    They were shocked by the data it gave
    Said the scientists, “Shit!
    How’d it go through each slit?”
    It’s a particle; also a wave.”

  62. David Reddekopp says:

    I have failed, for I don’t pay attention
    To a thing that the teacher would mention
    But today, I believe
    I’m about to receive
    My diploma – and also my pension.

  63. Fred Bortz says:

    WHAT THE TRUMP?

    “Does that star-spangled banner yet wave
    O’er our country, the Home of the Brave?
    Is our nation still free?”
    Wonders Francis Scott Key
    As our forefathers roll in the grave.

  64. Fred Bortz says:

    ADVICE FOR A COLONOSCOPY

    He may have been last in his class,
    The one who just managed to pass,
    But be careful. Don’t mock
    When you visit that doc
    With the proctoscope shoved up your ass.

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    I once was happy that I married Dave
    There was a time when he would only wave
    But when we had some fish
    I had to wash ONE dish
    Now I’ve become his blasted slave!!

  66. Sharon Neeman says:

    I remember the June that my dad
    Made my mom something far beyond mad,
    When he came through the door
    With a one-fifty-four-
    Pound mastiff — the shelter’s new grad!

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There’s a fear that you really should dread
    So make sure that your grad dress is red
    ‘Cause your menstrual pains
    Might just end up as stains
    It’s too late to use brains when you’ve bled.

    You think tampons and pads will all save?
    Avoid leaks with a promise they gave?
    Your gown’s camouflage glitch
    Where blood hides in each stitch
    Is a magic wand which you can wave.

  68. Suzanne Heymann says:

    When the road workers started to pave
    They soon noticed the road had a wave
    They could not keep it flat
    So they dug and found that
    Underneath them they sat on a cave.

    They saw folks down there covered in Jell-O
    There were two naked gals for each fellow!
    As they frolicked about,
    It was soon figured out
    That the place was, no doubt, a bordello!

  69. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Way down south on the coastal plantation,
    A big earthquake struck near the foundation
    Then a high tidal wave
    Washed away ev’ry slave
    Far away to a fav’rite location.

    Back to THEIR island home – what a quirk!
    And their boss washed ashore, the big jerk
    Now the slaves had a blast
    They’d have karma at last
    And they put the old bastard to work!

  70. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Now Samson had hair with a wave
    Which Delilah the temptress would shave
    His strength too, she would sever
    Enslave him forever
    Her evil he never forgave.

  71. Suzanne Heymann says:

    S.S. Minnow was crashed by a wave
    With its future that no one could save.
    Well, at least they hit land
    On a beach full of sand
    Where they’ll always be tanned, but can’t shave.

  72. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I earn minimum wage, maybe lower
    I work fast while the others are slower
    Well, my rights I won’t waive
    Just to be a damn slave
    Think I’ll now be a brave whistleblower.

  73. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The valedictorian spoke
    And some snoring her speech did evoke
    So that chick pulled a trick
    Stripped her clothes off real slick
    Then the audience quickly awoke.

  74. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Ev’ry time that I’m kissed by a knave
    He knows naught of my beards that I shave
    If he found out, he’d shit
    Or fly into a fit
    Or he’d feel he was hit by a wave.

  75. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Through the air came a radio wave
    Spread some joy with the songs that I crave
    Oh, but then came the news
    Which just gave me the blues
    So I’ll go drink some booze in my cave.

  76. Patrice Stewart says:

    Holly Would [Holli in the film Cool World, 1992]

    Rising starlet vamped during her stroll
    Along the red carpet: cams roll.
    Left and right, smile, big wave;
    Bent: heard gasps as she gave
    Folks an eyeful. Which end? Both! She stole

    The limelight from (oops!) her producer,
    A vindictive lecher called Brucer.
    It was hard to believe,
    One could scarcely conceive…
    But she did (all her gowns now fit looser).

  77. Patrice Stewart says:

    Dreams Broken Here

    Buck rode in, astride his Big Wave,
    Wife hustling beside (busty Mav-
    Is): each angling for fame,
    Cash, “They’ll soon know my name!”
    No. L.A.: you’ll get less than you gave.

  78. Patrice Stewart says:

    Days of Whine and Poses

    I’m so tired of “news” about Trump;
    Can’t we dump the chump flat on his rump?
    White House: look, a big wave
    Washed him out! Reps look grave
    But McCain is no longer a grump.

  79. Tim James says:

    He’d come on to her hard at the rave
    When she’d flashed him a wink and a wave.
    But he started to freak
    When they danced cheek to cheek
    ‘Cause the “gal” was in need of a shave.

  80. Dave Johnson says:

    Today should be happy, not sad;
    You gained a lot more than you had.
    Hard lessons were learned
    For the title you’ve earned:
    A Trump University grad!

  81. Patrice Stewart says:

    Not Quite What They Had in Mind aka Why, Son?

    Jim, a small-town boy from the Midwest,
    Put those post-football skills to the test.
    City: grinds with a wave
    As a pole-dancing “slave” –
    Earns “big” wages, as parents thought best.

  82. Suzanne Heymann says:

    His long beard had the kinkiest wave
    And his wife asked, “Dear, why don’t you shave?”
    At least use some shampoo
    To remove all the goo
    No more nooky if you don’t behave!”

  83. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Graduation’s here; what will come next?
    Don’t just play ’round with Twitter or text
    As tuition debts come
    Being jobless, a bum
    Could be leaving you somewhat perplexed!

  84. Patrice Stewart says:

    Grave Error

    Midnight tolled. He sat up in his coffin.
    The lads ran when they heard loud, hoarse coughin’.
    Glancing back at the grave,
    Heard him rave, saw him wave:
    “I still live! Never scoff at a boffin!”

    He arose from his grave wreathed in smiles,
    Shouting after them, “Pssst, Seven Dials!
    Change your ways, leave the gang,
    Or you’ll both surely hang!”
    Then limped home with a mild case of piles.
    (“Escape Death: Magic!” still in his files.)

  85. Patrice Stewart says:

    Is There Any Other Kind?

    The neighborhood kids were in danger
    From the local (deranged) Loan Arranger.
    He’d stroll by with a wave,
    Make arrangements to “save”
    Kiddies cents. Yep, Grave (Non-Stranger) Danger.

  86. Patrice Stewart says:

    Just Beachy

    He wiped out while braving a wave.
    Rolled eyes: why’d she bother to shave?
    It was small consolation
    He felt consternation
    Amidst their vacation enclave.

  87. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 280.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the GRADUATION-Themed Limerick Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Train.

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