Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TRAIN at the end of any one line. SEE UPDATE 5 (September 2)

UPDATE 5 (September 2) — On the off chance that anyone is still interested, I’ll be resuming my Limerick-Off challenges on September 17.

UPDATE 4 — AUGUST 20: I’m making progress and hoping to resume my Limerick-Offs mid-September. In the meantime, feel free to continue writing “train” rhyme limericks and limericks with any of these themes: GARDENING, DOCTORS, SUMMER FUN, &/OR CAFFEINE.

UPDATE 3 — AUGUST 5: Limerick contest results will CONTINUE to be delayed while I continue to recuperate from wrist surgery. (My apologies! But unfortunately, lots of physical therapy is required!) In the meantime, here’s YET ANOTHER theme for your limericks: CAFFEINE.

UPDATE 2 — JULY 21: Limerick contest results will CONTINUE to be delayed while I recuperate from emergency wrist surgery. In the meantime, here’s YET ANOTHER theme for your limericks: SUMMER FUN.

July 7 UPDATE: Limerick contest results will be delayed while I recuperate from emergency wrist surgery. In the meantime, here’s another theme for your limericks: DOCTORS.

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TRAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GARDENING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GARDEN-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 9, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 8, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A man was attempting to train
His young pooch to pee fast in the rain.
The obstreperous pet
Just adored getting wet,
So it lingered – dry clothes down the drain.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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281 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TRAIN at the end of any one line. SEE UPDATE 5 (September 2)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the summer time when no one’s cool
    You need to find a nice swimming pool
    Wear a respectable vest
    To cover your breast
    And act like they taught you in Catholic School

  2. Lisi Nortman says:

    EAR, NOSE, AND THROAT (SPECIALISTS)????

    When you go to the ENT, and your check doesn’t clear
    They tell you to leave and DISSAPEAR !!
    “Just come back once
    You irresponsible dunce
    We need to put the wax back in your ear”

  3. Lisi Nortman says:

    GOING TO THE EAR, NOSE AND THROAT DOCS

    If you should go to the ENT and your check doesn’t clear
    They will promptly tell you to disappear !
    “But come back just once
    You irresponsible dunce
    We need to put the wax back in your ear”

  4. Patrice Stewart says:

    Smokey: Hard To Bear (No Summer Fun)

    For those with breathing problems, the air
    In the Pac Northwest’s been hard to share:
    From Canada, drifting.
    Wildfires still shifting.
    Thanks, parattack crews! Please take care :)

  5. Dave Johnson says:

    In Bend, we can usually say
    The skies are not cloudy all day.
    This summer’s not done;
    We’ll resume having fun
    As soon as this crap blows away.

  6. Lisi Nortman says:

    I feel very clean
    Due to toilets and caffeine
    You drink your morning “joe”
    Then you have to “go”
    Take that power shower, and you’re ready to start the show

  7. Patrice Stewart says:

    Living In The Material World (Does He?)

    I’m not one on board the Trump train,
    Whose passengers all are insane.
    Crass ambition and vanity
    Far outweigh sanity.
    Hold on for a trip down the drain.

    Trump thinks he’s America’s king
    With bling, sting!, and lots of cha-ching
    (In inverse proportion
    To brains). This distortion
    Leads to *ing up everything…

  8. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS! I FORGOT TO RHYME !!! another try:

    After your morning caffeine
    You feel abundantly “lean and mean”
    Then you go to work
    And feel like a jerk
    Because all you’re doing is “peein”

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    Build castles and forts in the sand;
    They seem strong, and secure, ain’t they grand!
    But they never stay,
    The waves wash them away.
    Like illusions of a peaceful Homeland.

  10. Dave Johnson says:

    While others were kept out of reach,
    Chris Christie sat there on the beach.
    Then, watching him bark
    At some major league park;
    This turnip is really a peach.

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    SUMMER FUN AT THE SENIOR CENTER

    Our bathing suits are in good taste
    They’re gold, silver and intricately laced
    We do the crawl
    And have a ball
    So what if our boobs are down to our waist

  12. Tim James says:

    A guy paid for hookers and blow
    ‘Cause he craved stimulation. And so,
    His heart was so stressed
    It blew up in his chest.
    Use caffeine. It’s the safe way to go.

  13. Dave Johnson says:

    Her customer called himself “Ted”;
    She’d start off with coffee, then head.
    As she moved down below,
    Steve Bannon sighed “No…
    I’ve been there and done that.” he said.

  14. Lisi Nortman says:

    I lost my wallet on the train
    It drove me totally, downright insane
    My credits cards are gone
    So I had to log on
    I now have enough for “two cents plain”

  15. Dave Johnson says:

    John Kelly appears to be not
    Too thrilled with the job that he got.
    From attempting to train
    Trump’s minuscule brain,
    He stares at his footwear a lot.

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    SUMMER FUN (BURN??)

    In Chicago we have the most beautiful lake
    It’s just a few blocks down from the famous “Drake”
    In New Jersey’s the “shore”
    Who could ask for more
    Use sunscreen for BOTH or you’ll shake and bake

  17. Lisi Nortman says:

    I can’t continue to rhyme with train
    I think I’m becoming really insane
    Mad hurt her wrist
    She’s surely been missed
    But I’m feeling an explosion in my dwindling brain

    **********

    From Mad Kane: I’m hoping to be back mid-September with the results and a new rhyme challenge.

  18. madkane says:

    UPDATE 4 — AUGUST 20: I’m making progress and hoping to resume my Limerick-Offs mid-September. In the meantime, feel free to continue writing “train” rhyme limericks and limericks with any of these themes: GARDENING, DOCTORS, SUMMER FUN, &/OR CAFFEINE.

  19. madkane says:

    On the off chance that anyone is still interested, I’ll be resuming my Limerick-Off challenges on September 17.

  20. Dave Johnson says:

    Of course we’re still interested, Mad.
    For some, it’s the most fun we’ve had.
    Your challenges show
    What the world ought to know;
    The limerick’s not some passing fad.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Obama, “I’m trying to train
    A creature who’s rabid, insane.
    The mad dog replaced me,
    But now he’s disgraced me –
    He’s pissed in the White House again.”

  22. Tim James says:

    Ph.D.s are doctors too…

    He’s a Ph.D. chemist who’s shown
    There are dangers to working alone.
    Nitroglycerin fell,
    Blew his lab all to hell.
    (There are far nicer ways to get blown.)

  23. David Reddekopp says:

    I don’t actually have a problem with this, but thought the limerick would be fun.

    I’m really not one to complain
    But the length of this contest? Insane!
    The awards that we’ve missed?
    It’s Mad’s wretched bum wrist
    And the word of the “week”? It’s still “train”.

  24. David Reddekopp says:

    I had another use for the 3/4 rhyme in the last limerick.

    Mad’s Day at the Doctor

    To a crummy old clinic she’d come
    Said the doctor: “What’s wrong? You look glum.”
    But the last word was missed
    When she said, “My bum wrist.”
    And the doctor then checked out her bum.

  25. Dave Johnson says:

    Last Sunday we went to the beach;
    But water was way out of reach.
    It seemed rather weird
    That it all disappeared!
    (As Irma was starting to breech)

    “It’s coming back bigly!” they said;
    “To safety is where you should head.”
    We thought for a while,
    Then agreed with a smile;
    We’ll go to Miami instead…

    That wasn’t the very best plan.
    With palm trees like blades on a fan,
    We took in the sights
    Of a hurricane’s frights
    While floating around in our van.

  26. madkane says:

    This weekend (early Sept. 17) I’ll finally be posting the results of this Limerick-Off … plus a NEW Limerick-Off.

  27. Dave Johnson says:

    Pelosi and Schumer will train
    Their sights on a deal to remain
    In the loop and survive;
    As they manage to drive
    McConnell and Ryan insane.

  28. madkane says:

    A reminder that my Limerick-Off challenges are finally returning this weekend, now that my wrists can handle all that typing and editing.

    After such a long hiatus, straggler entries seem unlikely. But just in case, the deadline is tomorrow night, September 16 (Saturday) at 10 pm eastern.

  29. Sharon Neeman says:

    Though you can’t get to Israel by train
    And for six months a year there’s no rain,
    Our list of Nobel
    Prizes shows just how well
    Israelis make use of the brain.

  30. Sharon Neeman says:

    Oh, how I do wish I could train
    My MD to be kind and not vain!
    Why is it that vets
    Who look after our pets
    Are gentler and far more humane?

  31. madkane says:

    After a REALLY long hiatus (don’t blame ME, blame my stupid broken wrist) the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 281.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, our Themed Limerick Winners, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Rest.