Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRILL/GRILLE at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRILL/GRILLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to POWER, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best POWER-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 2, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 1, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

When I tried to return a gas grill,
I felt burned when the owner said “Chill!”
So I countered with heat:
“It won’t light! You’re a cheat!
“Take it back, or you’ll soon need a will.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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126 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRILL/GRILLE at the end of any one line”

  1. Sharon Neeman says:

    Dear Mom: Can you not be a pill?
    I do not need your lectures. Please chill!
    So I stayed out all night —
    But that’s **my** business. Right?
    6 a.m. is too early to grill!

  2. Ken Gosse says:

    Trump’s Tower of London ~
    So-called P wants his enemies crushed,
    And opposing views everywhere hushed.
    Yes, we’ll all be quite thrilled
    Once he’s finally grilled
    Behind bars where his Tweets will be shushed.

  3. Jesse Levy says:

    Meat used to give me a thrill
    When cooked on a sizzling grill.
    It’s a carcinogen?
    Guess I’ll begin again
    By just eating veggies or krill.

  4. Sharon Neeman says:

    In this dark and, yes, desperate hour,
    Looking up at the lights of Trump Tower,
    I remember with dread
    What George Orwell once said:
    “The object of power is power.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Though placators of Russia were shrill,
    Commentators continued to grill.
    But the flatus they got
    From the traitors was not
    Quite as straight as a three-dollar bill.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    “As a chef, I am great!” was his boast.
    “I can cook the books better than most.
    Though I don’t have the skill
    To put bread on the grill,
    I can turn the whole country to toast.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    He phoned tech support with a frown:
    “The computer you sold me went down!”
    “Have you plugged it in right?”
    “I can’t tell with no light –
    There’s a power cut all over town.”

  8. Mike Moulton says:

    Reporters were eager to grill
    Donald Trump, but you know the drill
    He dipped and he dodged
    Each question they lodged,
    And lied ‘til they’d all had their fill.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    “My team is the best!” Donald twitters,
    “A line-up of powerful hitters!”
    Yes, President Trump
    Is re-filling the swamp
    With much bigger and slimier critters.

  10. Lea Anonymous says:

    The heat from my brand new gas grill,
    Is somewhat of an awful thrill.
    I received quite a fright,
    When I got burnt last night.
    Hospital bill grows longer still.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    “More power to the people!” they cried,
    And the Donald said “I’m on your side!”
    But it turned out he meant
    Just the .1%,
    And the rest? With no healthcare, they died.

    (Line 4 needs to be read out loud …)

  12. Dave Johnson says:

    In Trump’s White House kitchen, they will
    Take measures to lower the bill.
    Already, they’re saving;
    Kellyanne’s microwaving
    With Sean Spicer’s buns on the grill.

  13. Slim Rick says:

    The media picks who to grill
    We’re savvy, but they do it still
    For goodness sake
    Their stories are fake
    And liberals just eat up that swill


    From MBK: Never let it be said that I deny right-wingers and Trump supporters a voice on my site.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    He put a big steak on the grill,
    So excited, “Oh heart, do be still!”
    But she didn’t eat meat,
    No allure; a defeat.
    From then on, it all went downhill.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    Trump’s hungry for profits and power,
    The rest of us? It’s all gone sour.
    We’re all being scammed.
    The Country, be damned.
    We’re going broke, guarding Trump Tower.

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    The greatest turn-on is power,
    Said Kissinger, then Man of the Hour.
    But that’s not always true.
    Some guys don’t have a clue.
    Think of Trump, and I just want to shower.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    The whale, a baleen, had a grille
    To filter the plankton and krill,
    But she ran out of luck
    The day Jonah got stuck
    And she just couldn’t swallow the pill.

  18. Dave Johnson says:

    His steak was destroyed as the grill
    Reduced it to charcoal until
    Trump’s dinner that night
    Was fashioned just right;
    With ketchup enhancing the thrill.

  19. Byron ives says:

    Power Wielded

    A transistor, with zero assistance
    Walked into a bar called: St. Vincent’s
    Heard the bartender sneer,
    “We don’t serve your kind here!”
    And left without much resistance

  20. Slim Rick says:

    It’s par for the media swill
    A right minded person they’d grill
    But I don’t see heat
    For the election cheat,
    It’s a pass for Donna Brazile

  21. Dave Johnson says:

    Fake news – that’s a powerful term
    Some use to deny or confirm.
    A rhetorical crutch
    Fright-wingers and such
    Deploy as they wiggle and squirm.

  22. Frank Hubeny says:

    There once was a chicken who said,
    As a fox thought she’s tastier dead,
    “There is no one I see
    As majestic as me.”
    The jaw power went straight to her head.

  23. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Donald Trump seems a trifle confused.
    He believes power should be abused.
    He’s created a mess
    But keeps blaming the press.
    May sound funny, but we’re not amused.

  24. Slim Rick says:

    The power of lies and deception;
    The lib way since their inception
    And yet you affirm
    The right has to squirm?
    Um, which side just won the election?

  25. Tim James says:

    When a Trump troll gets up in your grille,
    It’s enough to just laugh at the shill.
    For despite all the crude
    Hateful crap Trump has spewed,
    His accomplishments: nada, zilch, nil.

  26. Barbara Moshofsky says:

    Revised version:
    The women are up in his grill
    Their voices so nasty and shrill
    Why can’t THEY just stick to
    What he WANTS them to do –
    Come on over for Netflix and chill?

  27. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Corrected version (earlier version had typo)

    It was dark down at Joe’s Bar and Grill.
    Not a sound. It was perfectly still.
    Had to kill Happy Hour
    ‘Cause they lost all their power.
    Must remember to pay that damned bill!

  28. Fred Bortz says:

    Patio Store Confidential (Oy, vey!)

    Hissed the barbecue spit, “Please be still,
    Or you’ll never grow up as a grill!”
    The humans can’t know
    That at night, we all glow.”
    The hibachi responded, “I will!”

    From the pool section came a reply.
    “I’ll protect her. Lord knows, I will try.
    She brings me such joy,
    Because I am a buoy
    Who loves grills. That I cannot deny.”

  29. Fred Bortz says:

    Hats off to the power of lims!
    They connect left and right, Tims and Slims.
    Disagree, but no rancor.
    Their rhyme scheme’s our anchor
    For sharing political whims.

  30. Tom Harris says:

    The new prez gets loud and shrill
    Each time the press begins to grill
    The Trump on his strange views.
    He whines, “It’s fake news!
    And besides, my knowledge is nil.”

  31. Dave Johnson says:

    The G.O.P.’s onion-skinned boy
    Has the power to wreck and destroy.
    Hate-mongers rejoice,
    He’s unlocking their voice;
    And Putin can play with his toy.

  32. Slim Rick says:

    What might be implied about Putin
    And Trump, I’m roundly refutin’
    No evidence – none!
    Of malfeasance done,
    Just typical lib overshootin’

  33. Ken Gosse says:

    A Rose Plucked by Him Would Not be the Same ~
    This so-called Don Juan thinks his power
    Is such that he’ll cook and devour,
    Every grill of his dream,
    For to him, it would seem,
    They’re just pussies, and none a true flower.

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    TheRealDonald replies:

    Believe me, Slim Rick, I am glad
    To see someone round here who’s not sad.
    I would say a lot more,
    But I’m outa the door –
    Gotta make my next payment to Vlad.

  35. Dave Johnson says:

    The power of FAUX News upset her.
    (You’ll notice there’s one extra letter)
    And yes, I agree
    There should only be three;
    Removing the “A” makes it better.

  36. Slim Rick says:

    So, the Trump/Putin angst you can’t shake?
    But really, who’s been on the take?
    I doubt liberals cried
    When Clinton allied
    With Putin, and sold him YELLOW CAKE

    Course, that didn’t happen so cheap
    Quid pro quo deals must cost a heap
    Millions were added
    Her foundation was padded
    And the media? Nary a peep

    So, this trumped up stuff on the Don:
    ”Let’s lynch him, impeach him!” – Cry on.
    You’re gonna need facts
    ‘Fore he gets the ax
    It’s all lib hysteria….yawn…


    From Mad Kane: Before you spread Trump’s unsubstantiated claims of such a quid pro quo, I suggest you read this in depth fact checking article: “Donald Trump inaccurately suggests Clinton got paid to approve Russia uranium deal.”

    Opinion is fine here. Lies and unsubstantiated claims are NOT!

    And a reminder: Please write limericks that use the current rhyme word (Grill/Grille) and/or have a more obvious tie to the theme of Power.

  37. Dave Johnson says:

    The guy has a working-man’s squint
    In that ad with a little blue tint.
    It rambles at length
    About power and strength;
    When nookie is more than a hint.

    Their pill gets him up for romance;
    Disclaimers: But there is a chance
    That for hours his dick
    Could turn into a stick
    Or his balls might fall off in his pants.

  38. It’s nice to have an outdoor grill
    Most men feel it’s a special skill
    But when there’s a fire
    They begin to perspire
    And give a lady that riveting thrill

  39. Men say they have great power
    They insist they’ll never cower
    But when they have the flu
    They’re helpless and blue
    And assign “wifey” the spouse of the hour

  40. Dave Johnson says:

    It came with a big, ugly grille;
    And spacious – not easy to fill.
    Supposedly classy,
    Obnoxious and gassy;
    It’s journey was mostly downhill.

    The nameplate was famous, it’s true;
    But problems came out of the blue.
    It’s final demise
    Was to no one’s surprise;
    Trump’s Taj Mahal ran out of glue.

  41. Kirk Miller says:

    “Smell those burgers and dogs on the grill,
    But avoid the chef, William,” said Jill.
    “When he talks, it’s boring;
    Pretty soon you’re snoring.
    So take heed; don’t get stuck with the Bill.”

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    Using battery-powered creations
    Gives her wonderful-feeling sensations.
    Like that Beach Boys old song,
    With her substitute dong,
    She is picking up good vibrations.

  43. Kirk Miller says:

    Elvis Presley would carefully choose
    When to show his lung power. He’d use
    Azure boots on the ground
    Made of leather. Folks found
    The result when he puffed: blew swayed shoes.

  44. Kirk Miller says:

    The trouble with Congress this year
    Is the same as before, ‘twould appear.
    All their falsehoods are jokes.
    They’re re-lie-able folks
    Who seek power and money; that’s clear.

  45. Kirk Miller says:

    Northeast snow storm left people without
    Any power, so folks are no doubt
    Neither cheered nor consoled
    When it’s bitterly cold
    To hear “Have an ice day and chill out.”

  46. Kirk Miller says:

    To the party some friends are invited.
    What they hope for the most they have cited:
    It is darkness they like.
    Electricity spike?
    When the power goes out, they’re de-lighted.

  47. Sharon Neeman says:

    Can I fool myself — that is the question
    Into thinking I’ll get indigestion
    From that marvelous cake?
    Well… hell, no, for Pete’s sake!
    I just do not have power of suggestion!

  48. Frank Hubeny says:

    Oh! I like to cook stuff on my grill
    Juicy burgers or bratwurst until
    They are charred, good and dead,
    Though in hell, I have read,
    When we fry our beers never will chill.

  49. Brian Allgar says:

    He can’t stand the heat of the grill,
    And his tweets are increasingly shrill.
    Impeachment’s in line,
    Or perhaps he’ll resign …
    “Believe me,” says Pence, “that’s God’s will.”

  50. Slim Rick says:

    Betcha this doesn’t ride

    Well, this blogger’s power is clear
    My ass will get banished, I fear
    But sources I’ll name
    Substantiate MY claim
    But that’s not what she wants to hear

    She only named one on-line source
    A pro Clinton rag. But, of course!
    And ’cause I defy her
    She calls me a liar
    My demise she will surely enforce!

    You libs knock the Don at your will
    But righties are up in your grill
    Don’t you ever get sick
    Of your narcissist clique
    Does it dawn on you that you’re all ill?

    You sycophant libs aren’t on board
    ‘Cause most my lims you’ve abhorred
    Well, crap. It’s been fun
    But I gotta run
    And frame my BEST LIMERICK award!

  51. Dave Johnson says:

    Dear Mr. Rick,

    Steve Bannon has wonderful news!
    Impressed with your lib-bashing views,
    He’s empowered to proffer
    This generous offer:
    He’d like you to join Rightfart News.

  52. Chris Gross says:

    You remember the nursery rhyme drill,
    When two kids took a stroll up a hill?
    Seems that Jack tumbled down
    And broke off a gold crown,
    After Jill got right up in his grill

  53. Fred Bortz says:

    Power Play Blues

    Slim Rick is pursuing a goal,
    And he thinks that he’s now on a roll.
    But we’re here for the funning
    Of rhyming and punning.
    That troll should crawl back in his hole.

  54. Chris Gross says:

    At the sex shop you have the control
    To decide what excites your “flagpole”.
    For ten bucks you can watch
    A young tart rub her crotch
    As she says: “Power to the peep-hole!”

  55. Tim James says:

    He had finally got her alone
    When the power went out. With a moan
    He discovered that night
    She was quite a delight —
    For his circuits weren’t all that got blown.

  56. Brian Allgar says:

    Mr Rick, I think you’re abusing
    Your welcome – perhaps you’ve been boozing?
    Your meter and rhymes
    Are so poor that they’re crimes, *
    And they’re not even faintly amusing.

    In fact, they are thoroughly boring;
    As limericks, really not scoring.
    You’d do better to stick,
    Like that consummate prick,
    To lying, and golfing, and whoring.

    The power-mad fool that you ape
    Is perceived as a clown and a jape –
    Even worse, he’s still looking,
    Between all the hooking,
    For thirteen-year-olds he can rape.

    Like the Donald, you bore and you bore on.
    Do you really expect you will score on
    A site full of wit
    With a bucket of shit
    In praise of your favorite moron?

    * “‘Don”, “on” and “yawn” only rhyme if your neck is vermilion – oh, sorry, in words of one syllable, that means “red”.

  57. Open Limerick To “Slim Rick”

    Though you hint at a plan to depart,
    No one’s crying (or wasting a fart.)
    You write lims without wit,
    Each a diatribe-fit
    Lacking humor and wordplay and heart.

  58. They wanted to take a refreshing shower
    And smell just like a spring time flower
    But when they got in
    Much to their chagrin
    The plumber had recklessly turned off the power

  59. Tim James says:

    Evidently the chances are Slim
    Of a troll thinking straight in a lim.
    His reasoning power
    Declines by the hour —
    A 15-watt bulb, glowing dim.

  60. Byron Ives says:

    There once was a genius named Phil
    Who tossed a lit match on his grill
    His briquettes had sheen
    From pure gasoline
    It’s raining his body parts, still

  61. Byron Ives says:

    A powerful boxer named Scott
    Got punched in his nose a lot
    It dripped on his arm
    And he said with alarm
    “I thought it was blood but it’s snot.”

  62. Mary McGarvey says:

    Slim Rick is learning the drill
    That Libs here just live to grill
    Anyone who likes Trump.
    On him they will dump
    All their venom against Capitol Hill.

  63. Byron Ives says:

    Old Carl might have been dense
    But he had staying power immense
    He took an old slut
    To his canvas hut
    Where the fucking was in tents

  64. Byron Ives says:

    On a short power trip was Greg
    Who screwed a blind woman named Peg
    “Oh, you’re oversized!”
    But he soon realized
    That she was just pulling his leg

  65. Tim James says:

    A man at the town bar and grill
    Ate and drank with abandon until
    He took note of his weight.
    Then he planned his estate,
    Proving where there’s a weigh there’s a will.

  66. Our most powerful leader’s mature
    And he has a certain allure
    What I don’t understand
    Is how he could look so grand
    But only his hair dresser knows for sure

  67. David Reddekopp says:

    It’s a policy we can’t afford
    Wasting money and lives – it’s abhorred!
    So make love and not war
    As the saying goes, for
    In the penis, more might than the sword.

    (Did I forget a space?)

  68. Dave Johnson says:

    That Greedy Old Party in power
    Keeps screwing the poor by the hour.
    Those cretinous heels
    Want to crash Meals on Wheels
    So the rich can have more to devour.


    He’s getting the ultimate “grill”
    Attempting to enforce goodwill
    He’s overcome with stress
    Frustrated with duress
    I think the man needs a pill

  70. Byron Ives says:

    My french neighbor often would traipse
    Right past my door, dressed in long capes
    He’d yell out, “Eez free!
    Some pancakes for zee!”
    He really just gave me the crepes

  71. The power of the Democrats today has shown its face
    They managed to keep Obama Care safely in its place
    Any which way
    I have to say
    The premiums will remain to be a ridiculous disgrace

  72. correction on the saga of Sean Spicer

    I think the man needs a PACIFYING pill

  73. Sharon Neeman says:

    Snakes and Ladders! Let’s play! What a thrill!
    Will the great new Republican bill
    Climb its way to the top —
    Or will it just drop
    Back to 1 and get burned on the grill?

    Throw the dice! Go on, play with a will!
    Yes, I know it’s a long shot, but still —
    What, you can’t push it through?
    Well, you know what to do:
    Slide on down, now. You all know the drill.

  74. Byron Ives says:

    A deejay with melons sublime
    Spun oldies from West Anaheim
    Her groupies were sad
    When she quit, for she had
    The greatest tits of all time

  75. Byron Ives says:

    Claire was a mean millionaire
    And bullied her meek hubby, Blair
    He poisoned the bitch,
    Then dumped her in a ditch
    “This house is now mine!!” He’d de-Claire.

  76. Diane Groothuis says:

    While having my annual shower
    I thought in some depth about power.
    And as I suspected
    That jerk’s been elected
    So you’re stuck with him till the last hour.

  77. The Democrat’s power has shown its face
    The kept Obama’s plan in place
    Any which way
    I have to say
    The premiums will still be total disgrace


  78. the premiums will still be A total disgrace

    SORRY FORGOT THE A article

  79. Sharon Neeman says:

    Double-category entry:

    The fridge and the stove and the grill
    Are all useless metal until
    Con Ed gives us power —
    So why do we glower
    When we have to settle the bill?

  80. Sharon Neeman says:

    I’m sick of lean meat on the grill,
    Steamed veggies and other such swill!
    “Thin” does not equal “cute”
    And I don’t give a hoot
    For the size of the jeans that I fill.

  81. Sharon Neeman says:

    Come over! There’s steak on the grill,
    And beer and martinis. Come chill!
    One catch: our discussion
    Cannot mention “Russian,”
    “The travel ban,” “golf” or “The Bill.”

  82. Dave Johnson says:

    My worries I’m no longer thinking;
    Those cares and concerns are now shrinking.
    That Donald Trump mess?
    Well, whatever, I guess;
    The power of positive drinking!

  83. I met him at the “Grill”
    He said I can get a thrill
    “Will I see you again?”
    “I don’t think so, Ben
    My needs he did not fulfill

  84. Dave Johnson says:

    When buying propane for your grill,
    The attendant should know how to fill.
    No sparks in the air,
    Then handle with care;
    Or not – if you’re seeking a thrill.

  85. Mark G. Kane says:

    The Dems will continue to grill
    Neil Gorsuch while up on the hill.
    So why all the fights?
    He backs CORPORATE rights,
    But for humans? He cares nearly nil.

  86. Mark G. Kane says:

    Under hot lights they started to grill
    A woman whose name they thought Jill.
    When seeing the crown,
    She replied with a frown,
    “Jack’s gone now; I’ve hooked up with Bill.”

  87. Mom no longer says I’m a pill
    She has also stopped giving me the grill
    Because one night
    When the moon was bright
    I caught her in bed with Uncle Bill


    Will Neil ultimately earn the spot
    Or do the Dems have a secret plot
    I feel he should
    Stay on the bench for good
    Because this guy is oh so HOT!

  89. Lea Anonymous says:

    The air last night: Not at all still,
    The breeze brought along quite a chill.
    But since the heater broke,
    And my fire I can’t stoke,
    For some warmth, I turned on the grill.

    In this please accept ‘fire’ as one syllable. You can pronounce it in such a way that it only has one syllable, and I couldn’t think of anything else to do for line 4.

  90. Wendy Playter says:

    A Jersey fish lived in a kill,
    Eschewing worms–opting for krill.
    “Youse guys mark my woid,
    I ain’t no early boid,
    Dat shit lands yer ass on a grill!”

  91. Brian Allgar says:

    “Food’s healthier cooked on the grill”,
    Says my doc. I’m a man of good will,
    So I’m willing to try it,
    This healthier diet –
    I’d hate to become fat and ill.

    Eight rashers of bacon, how thrilling!
    Four sausages? Six is more filling.
    A couple of steaks …
    What a breakfast that makes,
    And all of it healthily grilling!

  92. Diane Groothuis says:

    There once was a fellow named Bill
    Who worked at the Old Silver Grill
    And did more than he oughta
    With Manager’s daughter
    And so had his dick in the till.

  93. Dave Johnson says:

    Devin Nunes, an ally of Trump’s,
    Has the power to hide all the chumps
    In the campaign who knew
    How the Russians got through;
    His mission: protecting their rumps.


    He’s cutting clean air
    Do you think that’s fair?
    We’ll cough and sneeze
    Not to mention wheeze
    So please my friends: say a prayer

  95. Lea Anonymous says:

    Trixie, my dear cat, had last night
    A dinner of pure cat delight!
    Gave her fish, duck, and krill,
    That I cooked on the grill.
    And she’s still pretty stuffed, alright!

  96. Jesse Frankovich says:

    Concentration is what you’ll require
    If you’re searing some sirloins with fire
    On a towering grill
    On the top of a hill,
    For the steaks will have never been higher.

  97. Sharon Neeman says:

    As I watch each new infantile fit
    By His Lowness, the sad orange twit,
    I have only one prayer
    To Whoever’s Up There:
    For the power to not give a shit.

  98. Brian Allgar says:

    My wallet has dropped through the grille,
    And I’m rooting around in the swill
    Of the storm-drain, but hell!
    It’s now raining as well!
    It’s goodbye to my five-dollar bill.

  99. Jim says:

    Hates in this life I have several, grills
    Grills, a way for women to get their thrills
    They’ll buy the best as a toy
    Gift for him, plays like a boy
    He’s cooking “so fine” while his lady chills

  100. Sharon Neeman says:

    No, I’m not being rude, Auntie Jill…
    Yes, you are a good driver… but still,
    If you must hit a cop,
    You’d be wiser to stop
    Displaying his pants on your grille!

  101. Frank Hubeny says:

    I once had a Yeti who read
    Philosophy over her head.
    On Power and Will
    I can still hear her grill
    Me and scold how I’m dumber than dead.

  102. Suzanne Heymann says:

    How dumb can a cooking-show star be
    With advice from the chef Brenden Darby?
    ‘Cause it angers me still —
    Food won’t stay on the grill
    Ev’ry time I put shrimp on the barbie!

  103. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Oh, my father would get such a thrill
    When in charge of the coal-burning grill
    He’s forgotten to pluck
    The charred barbecue duck
    And our guests were all stuck with the bill!

  104. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If a man beats a woman, he’s nuts
    Let’s hope Karma will visit the putz
    He’ll be met down the hill
    Face to face with the grill
    Of a Mac truck, and spill all his guts.

  105. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I am probably going insane
    Cook my skin and it pleases my brain
    I just can’t get my fill
    Getting burned on the grill
    Not enough, so I still need pro-pain.

  106. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Though you’ll feel like a ship that is sinking
    Stop that hangover — just keep on drinking
    Doing that has its flaws
    But it’s for a good cause
    That’s the power of positive thinking!

  107. Suzanne Heymann says:

    It’s a man’s world, and though he has power
    In just minutes, all that can go sour
    If he’s mean, she’ll forsake
    Fam’ly jewels till they ache
    Then he’ll just have to take a cold shower.

  108. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Stay away from those mean lightning bolts
    Each one’s power has one billion volts
    Getting hits from the blitz
    Really can be the pits
    You’ll be having the shits with your jolts.

  109. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There’s a shill full of ill will named Phil
    He’s as tactless as bits in a drill
    His insulting is snide
    But he takes it in stride
    The boy’s fit to be tied to a grill!

  110. We bought a “state of the art” fancy grill
    Then threw on the steaks and went up the hill
    We dashed to Costco
    Made it pronto
    And came home to a single kosher dill

  111. Dave Johnson says:

    It’s essential to sear on the grill
    Trump’s surrogate up on the hill.
    Devin Nunes can’t hide
    From the dumb stunt he tried:
    Obstruct with intention to kill.

  112. Byron Ives says:

    The vicar, Reverend Oakes,
    (a lecher, like lots of the blokes)
    Is cogent, but caring,
    Likes to ‘soothe’ the despairing
    This pastor does more than lay folks

  113. Mark G. Kane says:

    What a night! He remembers it still.
    Sam sought whiskey, and sex at ‘The Grille’.
    Two sweet women picked him
    (They were pals from his gym)
    And by dawn, each had gotten her fill.

  114. Suzanne Heymann says:

    As the Spring comes to life to surround me
    Still, the concrete has callously found me
    Through a crack sprouts a flower
    It’s Nature’s great power
    That always knows how to astound me!

  115. GRILL entry:

    I said to my wife, “This is swill!
    Okay, I admit – overkill.
    Now alak and alas,
    I don’t get any ass,
    And must eat at Joe’s Bar and Grill.

  116. Sharon Neeman says:

    I roasted my spouse on the grill,
    Then bumped off my dad for a thrill,
    Then murdered a teacher,
    Two cops and a preacher!
    (Today is the first of a-PRIL.)

  117. Lea Anonymous says:

    Oooohhhhh, fingers crossed!! Cross your finger, everyone!
    And may the best poet(s) win! 🏆

  118. Lea Anonymous says:

    *your fingers

  119. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    Power limerick
    “I’m elected, I rose to the top.
    None of you losers could stop
    Me from being the chief.”
    But it’s my firm belief
    You will be a calamitous flop.

  120. Lea Anonymous says:

    Since the deadline is over, it is now all up to Mad. I wish you all the best of luck, and, once again, fingers crossed, all of you! May the best poets win!


    From MBK: You still have a few hours left. The deadline is tonight, Saturday, at 10 PM Eastern.

  121. Jeanine Silverio says:

    Never felt l was over the hill
    (Though I’m bald and lost most of my grill),
    Until summer break
    When I barbecued steak
    Now it’s fall and I’m gumming it still

  122. We bought an expensive grill
    Then we went up the hill
    The steaks were burned
    And never unturned
    Dinner was a plump kosher dill

  123. Fred Bortz says:

    Reflections on a judicial confirmation hearing

    In the terrible sub-zero chill,
    The trailer’s brakes frozen, and still
    The driver stays put
    ‘Til he can’t feel his foot.
    Then he leaves, lest they probate his will.

    “You’re fired,” says the boss, with voice shrill.
    “You can’t leave your load; that’s the drill.”
    “That’s right,” Gorsuch nods,
    “The laws words are like God’s.”
    Which is why he was put on the grill.

  124. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is… Limerick-Off Award 274.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Power-Themed Limerick Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Buy.