Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRILL/GRILLE at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRILL/GRILLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to POWER, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best POWER-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 2, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 1, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

When I tried to return a gas grill,
I felt burned when the owner said “Chill!”
So I countered with heat:
“It won’t light! You’re a cheat!
“Take it back, or you’ll soon need a will.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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65 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRILL/GRILLE at the end of any one line”

  1. Sharon Neeman says:

    Dear Mom: Can you not be a pill?
    I do not need your lectures. Please chill!
    So I stayed out all night —
    But that’s **my** business. Right?
    6 a.m. is too early to grill!

  2. Ken Gosse says:

    Trump’s Tower of London ~
    So-called P wants his enemies crushed,
    And opposing views everywhere hushed.
    Yes, we’ll all be quite thrilled
    Once he’s finally grilled
    Behind bars where his Tweets will be shushed.

  3. Jesse Levy says:

    Meat used to give me a thrill
    When cooked on a sizzling grill.
    It’s a carcinogen?
    Guess I’ll begin again
    By just eating veggies or krill.

  4. Sharon Neeman says:

    In this dark and, yes, desperate hour,
    Looking up at the lights of Trump Tower,
    I remember with dread
    What George Orwell once said:
    “The object of power is power.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Though placators of Russia were shrill,
    Commentators continued to grill.
    But the flatus they got
    From the traitors was not
    Quite as straight as a three-dollar bill.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    “As a chef, I am great!” was his boast.
    “I can cook the books better than most.
    Though I don’t have the skill
    To put bread on the grill,
    I can turn the whole country to toast.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    He phoned tech support with a frown:
    “The computer you sold me went down!”
    “Have you plugged it in right?”
    “I can’t tell with no light –
    There’s a power cut all over town.”

  8. Mike Moulton says:

    Reporters were eager to grill
    Donald Trump, but you know the drill
    He dipped and he dodged
    Each question they lodged,
    And lied ‘til they’d all had their fill.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    “My team is the best!” Donald twitters,
    “A line-up of powerful hitters!”
    Yes, President Trump
    Is re-filling the swamp
    With much bigger and slimier critters.

  10. Lea Anonymous says:

    The heat from my brand new gas grill,
    Is somewhat of an awful thrill.
    I received quite a fright,
    When I got burnt last night.
    Hospital bill grows longer still.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    “More power to the people!” they cried,
    And the Donald said “I’m on your side!”
    But it turned out he meant
    Just the .1%,
    And the rest? With no healthcare, they died.

    (Line 4 needs to be read out loud …)

  12. Dave Johnson says:

    In Trump’s White House kitchen, they will
    Take measures to lower the bill.
    Already, they’re saving;
    Kellyanne’s microwaving
    With Sean Spicer’s buns on the grill.

  13. Slim Rick says:

    The media picks who to grill
    We’re savvy, but they do it still
    For goodness sake
    Their stories are fake
    And liberals just eat up that swill

    *****

    From MBK: Never let it be said that I deny right-wingers and Trump supporters a voice on my site.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    He put a big steak on the grill,
    So excited, “Oh heart, do be still!”
    But she didn’t eat meat,
    No allure; a defeat.
    From then on, it all went downhill.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    Trump’s hungry for profits and power,
    The rest of us? It’s all gone sour.
    We’re all being scammed.
    The Country, be damned.
    We’re going broke, guarding Trump Tower.

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    The greatest turn-on is power,
    Said Kissinger, then Man of the Hour.
    But that’s not always true.
    Some guys don’t have a clue.
    Think of Trump, and I just want to shower.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    The whale, a baleen, had a grille
    To filter the plankton and krill,
    But she ran out of luck
    The day Jonah got stuck
    And she just couldn’t swallow the pill.

  18. Dave Johnson says:

    His steak was destroyed as the grill
    Reduced it to charcoal until
    Trump’s dinner that night
    Was fashioned just right;
    With ketchup enhancing the thrill.

  19. Byron ives says:

    Power Wielded

    A transistor, with zero assistance
    Walked into a bar called: St. Vincent’s
    Heard the bartender sneer,
    “We don’t serve your kind here!”
    And left without much resistance

  20. Slim Rick says:

    It’s par for the media swill
    A right minded person they’d grill
    But I don’t see heat
    For the election cheat,
    It’s a pass for Donna Brazile

  21. Dave Johnson says:

    Fake news – that’s a powerful term
    Some use to deny or confirm.
    A rhetorical crutch
    Fright-wingers and such
    Deploy as they wiggle and squirm.

  22. Frank Hubeny says:

    There once was a chicken who said,
    As a fox thought she’s tastier dead,
    “There is no one I see
    As majestic as me.”
    The jaw power went straight to her head.

  23. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Donald Trump seems a trifle confused.
    He believes power should be abused.
    He’s created a mess
    But keeps blaming the press.
    May sound funny, but we’re not amused.

  24. Slim Rick says:

    The power of lies and deception;
    The lib way since their inception
    And yet you affirm
    The right has to squirm?
    Um, which side just won the election?

  25. Tim James says:

    When a Trump troll gets up in your grille,
    It’s enough to just laugh at the shill.
    For despite all the crude
    Hateful crap Trump has spewed,
    His accomplishments: nada, zilch, nil.

  26. Barbara Moshofsky says:

    Revised version:
    The women are up in his grill
    Their voices so nasty and shrill
    Why can’t THEY just stick to
    What he WANTS them to do –
    Come on over for Netflix and chill?

  27. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Corrected version (earlier version had typo)

    It was dark down at Joe’s Bar and Grill.
    Not a sound. It was perfectly still.
    Had to kill Happy Hour
    ‘Cause they lost all their power.
    Must remember to pay that damned bill!

  28. Fred Bortz says:

    Patio Store Confidential (Oy, vey!)

    Hissed the barbecue spit, “Please be still,
    Or you’ll never grow up as a grill!”
    The humans can’t know
    That at night, we all glow.”
    The hibachi responded, “I will!”

    From the pool section came a reply.
    “I’ll protect her. Lord knows, I will try.
    She brings me such joy,
    Because I am a buoy
    Who loves grills. That I cannot deny.”

  29. Fred Bortz says:

    Hats off to the power of lims!
    They connect left and right, Tims and Slims.
    Disagree, but no rancor.
    Their rhyme scheme’s our anchor
    For sharing political whims.

  30. Tom Harris says:

    The new prez gets loud and shrill
    Each time the press begins to grill
    The Trump on his strange views.
    He whines, “It’s fake news!
    And besides, my knowledge is nil.”

  31. Dave Johnson says:

    The G.O.P.’s onion-skinned boy
    Has the power to wreck and destroy.
    Hate-mongers rejoice,
    He’s unlocking their voice;
    And Putin can play with his toy.

  32. Slim Rick says:

    What might be implied about Putin
    And Trump, I’m roundly refutin’
    No evidence – none!
    Of malfeasance done,
    Just typical lib overshootin’

  33. Ken Gosse says:

    A Rose Plucked by Him Would Not be the Same ~
    This so-called Don Juan thinks his power
    Is such that he’ll cook and devour,
    Every grill of his dream,
    For to him, it would seem,
    They’re just pussies, and none a true flower.

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    TheRealDonald replies:

    Believe me, Slim Rick, I am glad
    To see someone round here who’s not sad.
    I would say a lot more,
    But I’m outa the door –
    Gotta make my next payment to Vlad.

  35. Dave Johnson says:

    The power of FAUX News upset her.
    (You’ll notice there’s one extra letter)
    And yes, I agree
    There should only be three;
    Removing the “A” makes it better.

  36. Slim Rick says:

    So, the Trump/Putin angst you can’t shake?
    But really, who’s been on the take?
    I doubt liberals cried
    When Clinton allied
    With Putin, and sold him YELLOW CAKE

    Course, that didn’t happen so cheap
    Quid pro quo deals must cost a heap
    Millions were added
    Her foundation was padded
    And the media? Nary a peep

    So, this trumped up stuff on the Don:
    ”Let’s lynch him, impeach him!” – Cry on.
    You’re gonna need facts
    ‘Fore he gets the ax
    It’s all lib hysteria….yawn…

    ******

    From Mad Kane: Before you spread Trump’s unsubstantiated claims of such a quid pro quo, I suggest you read this in depth fact checking article: “Donald Trump inaccurately suggests Clinton got paid to approve Russia uranium deal.”

    Opinion is fine here. Lies and unsubstantiated claims are NOT!

    And a reminder: Please write limericks that use the current rhyme word (Grill/Grille) and/or have a more obvious tie to the theme of Power.

  37. Dave Johnson says:

    The guy has a working-man’s squint
    In that ad with a little blue tint.
    It rambles at length
    About power and strength;
    When nookie is more than a hint.

    Their pill gets him up for romance;
    Disclaimers: But there is a chance
    That for hours his dick
    Could turn into a stick
    Or his balls might fall off in his pants.

  38. It’s nice to have an outdoor grill
    Most men feel it’s a special skill
    But when there’s a fire
    They begin to perspire
    And give a lady that riveting thrill

  39. Men say they have great power
    They insist they’ll never cower
    But when they have the flu
    They’re helpless and blue
    And assign “wifey” the spouse of the hour

  40. Dave Johnson says:

    It came with a big, ugly grille;
    And spacious – not easy to fill.
    Supposedly classy,
    Obnoxious and gassy;
    It’s journey was mostly downhill.

    The nameplate was famous, it’s true;
    But problems came out of the blue.
    It’s final demise
    Was to no one’s surprise;
    Trump’s Taj Mahal ran out of glue.

  41. Kirk Miller says:

    “Smell those burgers and dogs on the grill,
    But avoid the chef, William,” said Jill.
    “When he talks, it’s boring;
    Pretty soon you’re snoring.
    So take heed; don’t get stuck with the Bill.”

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    Using battery-powered creations
    Gives her wonderful-feeling sensations.
    Like that Beach Boys old song,
    With her substitute dong,
    She is picking up good vibrations.

  43. Kirk Miller says:

    Elvis Presley would carefully choose
    When to show his lung power. He’d use
    Azure boots on the ground
    Made of leather. Folks found
    The result when he puffed: blew swayed shoes.

  44. Kirk Miller says:

    The trouble with Congress this year
    Is the same as before, ‘twould appear.
    All their falsehoods are jokes.
    They’re re-lie-able folks
    Who seek power and money; that’s clear.

  45. Kirk Miller says:

    Northeast snow storm left people without
    Any power, so folks are no doubt
    Neither cheered nor consoled
    When it’s bitterly cold
    To hear “Have an ice day and chill out.”

  46. Kirk Miller says:

    To the party some friends are invited.
    What they hope for the most they have cited:
    It is darkness they like.
    Electricity spike?
    When the power goes out, they’re de-lighted.

  47. Sharon Neeman says:

    Can I fool myself — that is the question
    Into thinking I’ll get indigestion
    From that marvelous cake?
    Well… hell, no, for Pete’s sake!
    I just do not have power of suggestion!

  48. Frank Hubeny says:

    Oh! I like to cook stuff on my grill
    Juicy burgers or bratwurst until
    They are charred, good and dead,
    Though in hell, I have read,
    When we fry our beers never will chill.

  49. Brian Allgar says:

    He can’t stand the heat of the grill,
    And his tweets are increasingly shrill.
    Impeachment’s in line,
    Or perhaps he’ll resign …
    “Believe me,” says Pence, “that’s God’s will.”

  50. Slim Rick says:

    Betcha this doesn’t ride

    Well, this blogger’s power is clear
    My ass will get banished, I fear
    But sources I’ll name
    Substantiate MY claim
    But that’s not what she wants to hear

    She only named one on-line source
    A pro Clinton rag. But, of course!
    And ’cause I defy her
    She calls me a liar
    My demise she will surely enforce!

    You libs knock the Don at your will
    But righties are up in your grill
    Don’t you ever get sick
    Of your narcissist clique
    Does it dawn on you that you’re all ill?

    You sycophant libs aren’t on board
    ‘Cause most my lims you’ve abhorred
    Well, crap. It’s been fun
    But I gotta run
    And frame my BEST LIMERICK award!

  51. Dave Johnson says:

    Dear Mr. Rick,

    Steve Bannon has wonderful news!
    Impressed with your lib-bashing views,
    He’s empowered to proffer
    This generous offer:
    He’d like you to join Rightfart News.

  52. Chris Gross says:

    You remember the nursery rhyme drill,
    When two kids took a stroll up a hill?
    Seems that Jack tumbled down
    And broke off a gold crown,
    After Jill got right up in his grill

  53. Fred Bortz says:

    Power Play Blues

    Slim Rick is pursuing a goal,
    And he thinks that he’s now on a roll.
    But we’re here for the funning
    Of rhyming and punning.
    That troll should crawl back in his hole.

  54. Chris Gross says:

    At the sex shop you have the control
    To decide what excites your “flagpole”.
    For ten bucks you can watch
    A young tart rub her crotch
    As she says: “Power to the peep-hole!”

  55. Tim James says:

    He had finally got her alone
    When the power went out. With a moan
    He discovered that night
    She was quite a delight —
    For his circuits weren’t all that got blown.

  56. Brian Allgar says:

    Mr Rick, I think you’re abusing
    Your welcome – perhaps you’ve been boozing?
    Your meter and rhymes
    Are so poor that they’re crimes, *
    And they’re not even faintly amusing.

    In fact, they are thoroughly boring;
    As limericks, really not scoring.
    You’d do better to stick,
    Like that consummate prick,
    To lying, and golfing, and whoring.

    The power-mad fool that you ape
    Is perceived as a clown and a jape –
    Even worse, he’s still looking,
    Between all the hooking,
    For thirteen-year-olds he can rape.

    Like the Donald, you bore and you bore on.
    Do you really expect you will score on
    A site full of wit
    With a bucket of shit
    In praise of your favorite moron?

    * “‘Don”, “on” and “yawn” only rhyme if your neck is vermilion – oh, sorry, in words of one syllable, that means “red”.

  57. Open Limerick To “Slim Rick”

    Though you hint at a plan to depart,
    No one’s crying (or wasting a fart.)
    You write lims without wit,
    Each a diatribe-fit
    Lacking humor and wordplay and heart.

  58. They wanted to take a refreshing shower
    And smell just like a spring time flower
    But when they got in
    Much to their chagrin
    The plumber had recklessly turned off the power

  59. Tim James says:

    Evidently the chances are Slim
    Of a troll thinking straight in a lim.
    His reasoning power
    Declines by the hour —
    A 15-watt bulb, glowing dim.

  60. Byron Ives says:

    There once was a genius named Phil
    Who tossed a lit match on his grill
    His briquettes had sheen
    From pure gasoline
    It’s raining his body parts, still

  61. Byron Ives says:

    A powerful boxer named Scott
    Got punched in his nose a lot
    It dripped on his arm
    And he said with alarm
    “I thought it was blood but it’s snot.”

  62. Mary McGarvey says:

    Slim Rick is learning the drill
    That Libs here just live to grill
    Anyone who likes Trump.
    On him they will dump
    All their venom against Capitol Hill.

  63. Byron Ives says:

    Old Carl might have been dense
    But he had staying power immense
    He took an old slut
    To his canvas hut
    Where the fucking was in tents

  64. Byron Ives says:

    On a short power trip was Greg
    Who screwed a blind woman named Peg
    “Oh, you’re oversized!”
    But he soon realized
    That she was just pulling his leg

  65. Tim James says:

    A man at the town bar and grill
    Ate and drank with abandon until
    He took note of his weight.
    Then he planned his estate,
    Proving where there’s a weigh there’s a will.

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