Hall Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow stepped into the hall…*

or

A woman stepped into the hall…*

or

A fellow was trying to haul…*

or

A woman was trying to haul…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Hall of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman stepped into the hall
And bawled, “This is terribly small!”
She’d been hoping to wed
In a “palace” instead.
But her budget kept hitting a wall.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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130 Responses to “Hall Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. kaykuala says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    Couldn’t help being enthralled
    At their best
    For the fest
    They were all there having a ball

    Hank

  2. colonialist says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    And when her towel slipped took a fall;
    Guests let themselves in
    To see, with a grin,
    That she was displaying her all.

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    When the bell hauled him from Nature’s call -
    His internal squeaks
    Solicited shrieks
    And the stench was enough to appal!

  3. Doug Harris says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall,
    (Carnegie it was) to enthrall
    A full house – what a night!
    Till that demon: ‘stage fright’.
    For your refunds, please give us a call …

  4. Hoot Gibson says:

    A fellow was trying to haul
    A big TV out of the mall.
    But bad was his luck.
    Stepped on a toddler’s truck.
    Hospitalized, trying to make sense of it all.

  5. Gary Hallock says:

    A fellow schlepped home with a haul
    Of holiday gifts from the mall
    The bills came through later
    Now he and his mate are
    Still paying it off through next fall

  6. Claudia says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    with one foot kicking a ball
    with the other he danced
    full of romance
    waving a handknitted shawl

  7. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    After reading the writing on the wall
    Confused by sit on it
    As he too a shit
    How else can you answer natures call

  8. John Sardo says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    Effects of Cialis clear to all
    He began to sway
    And soon lost his way
    Left his mistress waiting to ball.

  9. John Sardo says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    With spiked heels and suffered a fall
    Completely undressed
    And highly distressed
    Needing ice for her double highball.
    .

  10. John Sardo says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    Tripped over a guy legs asprawl
    To her pleasant distraction
    He was ready action
    Her yearnings she could not forestall.

  11. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    In order to answer a call,
    And when he hung up
    He mishandled his cup
    But saved face and reentered the ball.

  12. Mark Kane says:

    A burglar quite proud of his haul,
    Rushed home to show off to his moll,
    The cops nailed his ass,
    But then showing some class,
    Allowed him his one legal call.

  13. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A Beauty stepped into the hall
    To steal Prince’s heart at the ball.
    But by the clock worried
    She suddenly hurried
    And left no glass slipper at all!

    Adult only version:

    A Beauty stepped into the hall
    To steal Prince’s heart at the ball.
    But by his cock worried
    She suddenly hurried
    And left no glass slipper at all!

  14. Don says:

    Going up the steps I took a fall
    with luck grabbed the rail and after all
    only whacked my head, and banged up my right shoulder
    not sure what happened, can’t be just getting older
    must quit rushin’, pick up my feet and accept it as a wake up call

  15. Tim James says:

    Larry Craig entered Congress’s hall
    Backing right-wing designs above all.
    But it stopped his advance
    When he took a wide stance.
    His career then went into a stall.

  16. Mark Kane says:

    After miles of an endless straight hall,
    We started to stagger and stall.
    Sure, our hotel was grand,
    But much larger than planned.
    In Vegas, next time we’ll go small.

  17. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    Of his condo to “Answer the Call,”
    When from the next room,
    He heard Bride yell at Groom
    “Please don’t tell me you’re always this small.”

  18. Kirk Miller says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall.
    His cell phone had rung; it was Paul.
    “I am running quite late.
    Do you think you can wait?”
    “I’ll do what you say; it’s your call.”

  19. Kirk Miller says:

    Into court one sad day they do haul
    A burlesque queen who’s really a doll.
    When she asks, “What’s the charge?”
    She finds out, by and large,
    She’s arrested for no gauze at all.

  20. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A well hung fellow stepped into the hall
    To attend the Fancy Dress Ball
    In a barrow his pecker
    And sign: WHELAN THE WRECKER
    Delighting the crowd one and all.

  21. Beth Parsons says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    Of mirrors at the carnival
    Though contorted, warped and skewed
    She sure enjoyed what she viewed
    They made her look skinny and tall.

  22. JulesPaige says:

    Cinderella stepped into the hall
    From a Pumpkin coach into the ball
    Danced with the prince;
    Made stepsisters wince
    To feel like nags left in the stall

  23. A fellow stepped into the hall,
    And noted the ceiling and wall,
    Missing plaster and lath,
    The stage, far from first class,
    His show biz career in free fall

  24. A woman stepped into the holl-er
    A classic’ly trained square dance call-er
    She plays Ludwig Van
    And says “Left Allemande”
    With the chance that the dancers might Mahl-er

  25. When Ms Clinton stepped into the hall
    “You’d be fired by me” said Rand Paul
    Hear the Oz lion sing
    “If I’d only been king”
    Is that pride going before the fall?

  26. I’ve a lesbian friend down the hall
    Always sets herself up for a fall
    By the end of each date
    All her junk’s in a crate
    And her bed’s loaded in the U-Haul

  27. Jesse Levy says:

    This woman, said host Monty Hall,
    can choose a door and win it all.
    But her choice was so bad
    that even her dad
    watching at home just started to bawl.

  28. Mark Kane says:

    A woman was proud of her haul;
    All those savings today at the mall.
    But to really save money,
    It’s effortless honey,
    Stay home and buy nothing at all.

  29. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An odd fellow was trying to haul
    Giant penis and cubical ball
    Into his bus
    With mimimum of fuss
    If you’d like to help give him a call

  30. Charley Simmons says:

    A lady stepped into the hall
    Dressed up for a most fancy ball
    She wore satin and lace
    And a radiant face
    All heads turned and said,”what a doll.”

    Wow! I wrote a limerick without being crude.
    [My wife says "it's about damn time."]

  31. Tom Harris says:

    Her poor ex stepped into the hall
    And said, “My dear, you’ve got some gall.
    You’ve found a new groom
    Inside a chat room
    And want me to pay for the ball.”

  32. Tom Harris says:

    A fellow was trying to haul
    His inhibitions, one and all,
    Away to the grave,
    So he could be brave
    And have sex right there in the mall.

  33. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An Eye Doctor stepped into the hall
    To attend the Optometrists Ball
    Someone in the throng
    Said the name was too long
    So they voted, now it’s The Eye Ball.

  34. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A cockatoo that flew into the hall
    Had a vocabulary beating them all
    He could deliver a sermon
    Speak fluent german
    And swear with a deep southern drawl

  35. Tom Hale says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    Yelling for—we don’t know at all
    Her dire situation
    Got lost in translation
    She had such a strong Southern drawl

  36. brian miller says:

    a fellow stepped into the hall
    walking, he no longer crawled,
    out on his own
    to make his own home
    some would call this evolved…

    ha

  37. zongrik says:

    A prince stepped out into the hall.
    he was leaving a very big ball.
    He carried her slipper
    that fell when he tripped her.
    To return it, he must not forestall.

    for pic and audio please see Cinderella Limerick

  38. Richard Gardiner says:

    False Love

    A fellow was trying to haul
    his girlfriend away from the Mall
    when out of the blue
    he knew what was true:
    She wasn’t for him after all!

    Richard Gardiner
    Potter Valley, Mendocino County, Calif.

  39. John Larkin says:

    A woman was trying to haul
    all the crap she bought at the mall.
    When her spouse told her, “No way!
    Bring it all back today,”
    she broke down and started to bawl.

  40. Richard Gardiner says:

    A woman traipsed into the hall;
    Just wearing a tight-fitting caul.
    She was sporting her self
    No, not anything else.
    Said she, “What’s the fuss with you all?’

    Potter Valley, Mendocino County, Calif.

  41. A woman stepped into the hall
    With bulb on her hand to install
    A light for a friend,
    Nor did she intend
    It guiding the guy who robbed all.

  42. Laurie Baker says:

    I’m impressed with your 50th Birthday haul
    Especially that hand woven shawl
    Looks formal, yet sporty
    Probably cost more than forty
    And will protect you in case of a squall.

  43. ChrisD says:

    Lance Armstrong kept touting his haul:
    Seven Tour de France trophies in all!
    His deceit was so bold
    He might even have told
    Us a lie about having one ball.

  44. ChrisD says:

    A mother steps out in the hall
    As she breast-feeds her teenager Paul.
    Well aware of the glares
    And disparaging stares,
    She declares, “Hey, you can’t wean ‘em all!”

  45. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The mayor was out in the hall
    Getting high on his back by the wall.
    “To judge from his manner,”
    suggested the planner,
    “He won’t try to stop herb-and-sprawl.”

  46. ChrisD says:

    After playing in Carnegie Hall,
    Mary Travers gets caught in a brawl
    When her manager cheats
    With the evening’s receipts,
    Robbing Peter to pay only Paul.

  47. ChrisD says:

    A geezer has rented a hall
    For his birthday–his hundredth–this fall.
    Would a lady perchance
    Care to come to the dance
    And enjoy a centennial ball?

  48. ChrisD says:

    If a specter is haunting your hall
    Or a wraith has you climbing the wall,
    There’s a Ghostbuster crew
    With a liquified goo
    That will dampen your spirits—just call!

  49. ChrisD says:

    Our baby now crawls in the hall,
    Where before he’d just eat, poop, and bawl.
    He motors with ease
    On his hands and his knees
    But, like Roombas, he sometimes will stall.

  50. ChrisD says:

    When women come home with a haul
    Of merchandise bought at the mall
    After hours of shopping
    Without even dropping,
    They’re heeding buyology’s call.

  51. ChrisD says:

    A chorine who performs in a hall
    In Paree has no booty at all.
    She’s a kicking machine
    And a dancer who’s lean.
    (In the can can, your can can be small.)

  52. ChrisD says:

    The peeling of paint in the hall
    Is so ghastly my skin starts to crawl
    As I stop to consider
    I went with the bidder
    Whose price was the highest of all.

  53. ChrisD says:

    An apostle stands up in the hall
    With a bulge that’s apparent to all.
    Says one woman in shock, “It
    Appears in your pocket
    You’ve got an epistle, St. Paul!”

  54. ChrisD says:

    The contractor enters the hall
    With a message that’s sure to enthrall
    Every man in the crew
    Seeking work on Phase II
    Of the plaza: “We CAN twin the mall.”

  55. ChrisD says:

    What’s the deal with Arsenio Hall?
    Had a show on TV, I recall.
    But of late nothing big–
    One “celebrity” gig
    As The Donald’s apprentice–that’s all.

  56. ChrisD says:

    Said the doc, “It’s your tear glands, Miss Hall.
    They won’t turn themselves off. Still and all,
    With your dacryorrhea,
    We’re likely to see a
    New belle of the debutante bawl.”

  57. ChrisD says:

    As I read through my limerick haul,
    A few tears of remorse start to fall.
    What a tasteless display
    Of poetics, you say?
    I’m repenting by having a bawl!

  58. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    “I’m sorry, you can’t dodge my hall,”
    Said the emperor Shah Jahan, “All
    Those who pass by this house
    Must revere my dead spouse
    And admire the gardens and mall.”

  59. ChrisD says:

    Humpty Dumpty is mindful to haul
    Autumn leaves to the base of the wall
    Where he’s planning to sit
    All September–to wit,
    He’s preparing to have a great fall.

  60. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Jacob Lew: As you struggle to haul
    Up Everest a sizeable ball
    Of dollars you stole,
    Take care they don’t roll
    Into China instead of Nepal.

  61. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    On her way to the newspaper ball.
    Her bustline gave head-
    lines to undersized thread
    Lines that advertised “Come one, come all.”

  62. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    At a Fancy Dress Ball in the hall
    He displayed his bright ribboned left ball
    When the judge asked this gent
    What did he represent
    He said, “I AM The Fancy Dressed Ball.”

  63. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Dutch Company demolishing a hall
    Met a guy with gigantic balls
    So these Master Builders
    Offered hundreds of gilders
    If he’d swing’em and knock down a wall

  64. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An old hooker tripped up in the hall
    Crushing boobs against a brick wall
    This made her squeal
    But had they been real
    I’m sure she’d have screamed, “Fuck it all”

  65. Edmund Conti says:

    A women stepped into the hall
    And that, faithful readers, is all.
    That woman will always
    Be stuck in the hallways
    And wondering whom she should call.

  66. Richard Gardiner says:

    A beauty waltzed into the ball.
    No clothing, no nada at all.
    With skin oh so fair,
    but “buyer beware”!
    At three that’s too young for a fall.

    Potter Valley, Mendocino County, Calif.

  67. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into the hall.
    Now this lim’rick’s beginning to stall.
    She should have pranced out
    With a leer and a shout
    And of course wearing nothing at all.

  68. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into a hall
    Where some Vikings were having a brawl.
    She said, “Oh, what the hell
    I’m in some parallel
    Universe (or the third part of Gaul).

  69. A woman was trying to haul
    Her fifteen stone child off to school
    But he dug in his toes
    Citing bullying woes
    And the power of peer ridicule.

  70. A woman was trying to haul
    Her petulant child off to school
    ‘Oh, but mother!’ he wailed
    I would rather be jailed
    With a man-eating tiger from Seoul!’

  71. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into a hall
    And instantly started to scrawl
    A Bunch of graffiti
    None of which was too witty
    And none of it funny at all.

  72. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to haul
    His possessions and worldly goods, all.
    Get a U-haul, said Sy.
    No, YOU haul, said I
    (Aren’t you glad that a lim’rick is small?)

  73. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    Delighting us with a pratfall
    Where she landed, alas,
    Not on her soft ass
    But a hard rocky place in Nepal.

  74. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into the hall…
    This doesn’t sound funny at all.
    Would it help if I added…
    Don’t bother, it’s bad, Ed,
    Don’t rhyme before you can crawl.

  75. patience and the prodigal says:

    From Patience:

    A woman stepped into a hall
    where a spider was having a crawl,
    Then quite on the sly
    She tossed him a fly,
    At least one of them’s having a ball.

    And The Prodigal:

    A fella stepped into a hall
    After gazing at his crystal ball,
    In the mirror a glance
    To assure a romance,
    His reflection, even him, did appal.

  76. Edmund Conti says:

    A poet stepped into the hall
    And there was Chris Doyle–what gall!
    Would you please take your ditties
    To far distant cities
    There’s not enough rhymes for us all.

  77. patience and the prodigal says:

    From Patience;

    A woman was trying to haul
    A bucket of coal in her shawl,
    “It’s heavy” she said,
    But my hair was too red,
    And the hairdresser’s fee isn’t small.

    and The Prodigal:

    A fella was trying to haul
    a conversion to his pal St. Paul,
    On the road to Damascus
    For help he did ask us,
    We told him to shag off and crawl!

  78. Edmund Conti says:

    A poet stepped into the hall
    Where Chris Doyle was having a ball
    Though he was bereft one
    He still had the left one
    Which is better than no balls at all.

  79. Edmund Conti says:

    Of Fame, he stepped into the Hall.
    Of fire, they thought him a ball.
    Whatever the reason
    He excels in the season
    Of Summer, of Autumn, of Fall.

  80. Edmund Conti says:

    “I am here for the long,” said he, “hall.”
    It’s a pun. Do you get it? That’s all.
    This verse is no killer.
    The rest is just filler.
    And I’m full of it as you recall.

  81. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An uncouth guy strode into the hall
    Exposing his pecker to all
    Then he shit in the sink
    Pissed in somebody’s drink
    In fact he’d no scruples at all

  82. rbasler says:

    An actor named Michael. C. Hall
    Gives a killer named “Dexter” his all
    He’s murdered, with reasons,
    For seven whole seasons,
    He works at a big chopping maul…

  83. Johanna Richmond says:

    Sarah P, as you exit the hall,
    Amidst cold winter winds, we recall,
    Though elected, you bailed,
    And each gig since has failed,
    You’ve held on to one crown: Queen of Gall.

  84. Edmund Conti says:

    They told me, “Go stand in the hall”
    For having the nerve and the gall
    To try to match wits
    With the master when it’s
    Just riding (not far) for a fall.

  85. Rachel says:

    A fellow was trying to haul
    Nicotine through a cement wall
    Which seemed really hard
    ’til he heard a guard
    Yell, “Cockroach!”, run fast, then fall.

    Inspired by this Mental Floss article.

  86. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    As Mule Sal was attempting to haul
    A long barge through a frightful night squall,
    An old song gave her smiles
    For about fifteen miles
    And it rendered the eerie banal.

  87. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A female Rep stepped into the hall
    To attend a birth control ball
    In her handbag were Pessaries
    And all sorts of Accessories
    One condom she sold that was all.

  88. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Two hipsters stepped into a hall
    And danced like a—whaddya call—
    A swingin’ safari?
    A bop Mata Hari?
    No, more like a socket and ball.

  89. Diane Groothuis says:

    I stand on my own in the hall
    I just have no money at all
    Am down on my luck
    “Canya lend me a buck?”
    Like Humpty I’ve had a great fall.

  90. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    And was told his endowment was small.
    I can use in a pinch
    Even one extra inch
    So thank you, Chris Doyle, and all.

  91. Madeleine says:

    A woman who entered the hall
    Was feeling incredibly small
    The bottle said ‘drink’
    And before she could think
    She had grown over seven feet tall.

  92. Madeleine says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    and said: “Am I late for the ball?
    “I was hired as the stripper,
    but have mislaid my slipper!”
    Then provocatively shimmied his all.

  93. Diane Groothuis says:

    A peanut came into the hall
    When I hailed him I saw his face fall
    He then started to mutter
    “I’m not peanut butter
    I’ve just been a’salted’ That’s all”

  94. Diane Groothuis says:

    A bank-robber had a huge haul
    When he blew up the safe in the wall
    But we have to excuse
    The length of his fuse
    Since it backfired and blew off his “all”.

  95. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into the hall.
    Indeed it was Lauren Bacall.
    She said if you whistle
    Be rest assured this’ll
    Be not heard by me, not at all.

  96. Tim James says:

    A pirate, quite pleased with his haul,
    To his lady let out a great bawl:
    “Me thirst I must quench!
    Go fetch me grog, wench!”
    Arrrr, matey! That kicked off a squall!

  97. A young lady stepped into the hall
    With naught but a towel – much too small
    She valiantly tried
    Her assets to hide
    But the bellboy never forgot what he saw!

  98. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    When a scholar who dwelled in a hall
    Of academe started to ball
    All her colleagues, the fruit
    Brought her widespread repute
    As lead author ahead of “et al.”

  99. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The batter was ready to haul
    Off and blast the poor ump for his call.
    Said the ump, “Scratching’s fine
    But you crossed a fine line—
    Fair to say that you hit a foul ball.”

  100. A fellow stepped into the hall
    ‘tween the bed and the head on the yawl
    And then grinning he swore
    “I’ve been blown offshore
    And my mast is beginning to fall”

  101. A feller was fixin ta haul
    His ramshackle wreck to St. Paul
    The dad-burned directions
    Shore had imperfections
    He purt near drove by Montreal

  102. A fellow stepped into the hall
    First he wept, then he started to bawl
    There’s Liz Lemon and Jack
    Tracy Morgan and Krak
    He had just said good bye to them all

  103. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Nerd hired a large empty hall
    And inside constructed a Yawl
    Took 10 years but no notion
    Of a trial in the ocean
    Which he’d given no thought to at all.

  104. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman stepped into the hall
    Where a 7-foot man bounced a ball.
    She said, “I can’t quibble
    With the way that you dribble,
    But I really don’t like you, a tall.”

  105. Diane Groothuis says:

    Sorry to Edmund Conti
    That 7 foot man in the hall
    Dribbling a big rubber ball
    Bent over and tossed it
    Unluckily lost it
    So now he has no balls at all.

  106. Bob Dvorak says:

    Last October they entered the hall;
    In debate, B’rack and Mitt gave their all.
    Now which one was Humpty?
    And which one was Dumpty?
    And whose was the greater of fall?

  107. Dean Deters says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall.
    Of a school for the chronically small.
    But he had to stoop,
    His bald head to droop.
    ‘Cause the ceiling was not too tall.

  108. Edmund Conti says:

    Ann Martin stepped into the hall
    Which made us all try to forestall
    Her lessons in Latin
    (She’s throwing her hat in)
    Not to mention trisecting old Gaul.

  109. Johanna Richmond says:

    “I’m in this thing for the LONG HAUL…”
    Said her prince on her seventh close call.
    But a wee bit less firm
    Were his jump-the-gun sperm
    (Around three hundred million in all.)

  110. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow stepped into the hall
    To answer a telephone call,
    And encountered a crowd
    Conversing aloud
    On cellular phones, wall to wall.

  111. Dr. Goose says:

    There once was a fellow named Hall,
    Who couldn’t write cursive at all.
    When invited to sign
    On the signature line,
    He would scratch an inscrutable scrawl.

  112. Dr. Goose says:

    Said a corpulent fellow named Hall,
    Who was portlier than he was tall:
    “It’s a myst’ry to me
    How I came by E.D.;
    In fact, I can’t grasp it at all.”

  113. Dr. Goose says:

    Said a truck-driving fellow names Hall,
    Who got lost on the way to the mall:
    “Though I carry a load,
    The traffic has slowed
    And there’s no way to answer ‘the call.’”

  114. Dr. Goose says:

    To her daughter explained Mrs. Hall,
    Who saw what was writ on the wall:
    “It’s good to have fun,
    But you walk ‘fore you run,
    And before you can walk you must crawl.”

  115. Dr. Goose says:

    One evening at Carnegie Hall
    The audience came to a brawl,
    When a musical fellow
    Sang out from his cello:
    “Yo! Hands in the air now, y’all!”

  116. In response to some very funny latin limerick banter …
    If’n y’all would step into the hall
    This here feudin’ we jes might forestall
    Ain’t rightly my bidness
    But this pro and quid-ness
    Is too high-falutin, by gall

  117. Johanna Richmond says:

    A lim’rick-off win’s quite a haul,
    But my motive is less to enthrall
    Than (forgive me the boast)
    So our host will not post
    Yet another H-M on my wall!

  118. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Twin Citizens struggling to haul
    Some crabapples went at a crawl,
    When one had a hatch:
    “Let’s play pitch and catch!”
    “You fool—mini apples ain’t ball!”

  119. Edmund Conti says:

    A kitty crept out in the hall
    Confining itself to a crawl.
    There, according to script
    Crept into a crypt,
    Crapped and crept out. That is all.

  120. Johanna Richmond says:

    An elderly bride in the hall
    Married “Stretchy Tri-testicle Saul.”
    ’Twas her last day — they say
    One went down the wrong way;
    Well, at least she died having a ball.

  121. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow announced in the hall
    I can spell “Madeleine” which is all
    I can honestly claim.
    If you’re looking for fame
    Dial Doyle, done deal and droll.

  122. Charley Simmons says:

    A woman was trying to haul
    Bundles and bags from the mall
    She slipped on the ice
    And spun around twice
    But, an’ ass grabbing gent broke her fall.

  123. Richard Gardiner says:

    For Mad and her limerisistas

    I’m a Newbie who joined in this hall
    penning lim-ricks for Maddie an’ y’all.
    But they weren’t so hard
    though not up to the Bard.
    Now I know I am caught in your thrall.

  124. Johanna Richmond says:

    As I stand here alone in this hall –
    Not of fame but of shame — I bid all
    Of you bright stars adieu
    And apologize too
    If I nailed anyone to the wall.

  125. Veralynne says:

    As I sit here and stare at the wall
    I feel like I’m stuck in a stall
    A blank page for my rhyme
    But I’m just wasting time!
    So I’ll leave. See ya later, y’all!

  126. Veralynne says:

    Bradley Manning–1000 days in his “stall,”
    When he shouldn’t have been there at all.
    Transparency and truth are the key
    If we want a free democracy!
    We could fly so, please, why must we crawl?

  127. Richard Gardiner says:

    Hope Springs Eternal

    This Richard was hoping to haul
    the grand prize away from you all.
    “Best of luck for his efforts,”
    so said most of the experts.
    ’Twas they who knew nothing at all.

  128. Carolyn Henly says:

    The queen asked the mirr’r in the hall:
    “Who’s really the fairest of all?”
    Said the glass: “Just reflect.
    Don’t care how you’re bedecked:
    Snow White’s a lot fair’r than y’all!”

  129. Richard Gardiner says:

    Queen (for a day) of the Mountain

    Johanna just quipped in this brawl:
    and bragged she was top of them all.
    She was summa cum laude
    over all of the rowdies.
    Thus setting her up for a fall.

  130. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners! Limerick of the Week 99.

    But don’t worry. You can still have limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Canned Limerick.