Limerick of the Week (99)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A mother steps out in the hall
As she breast-feeds her teenager Paul.
Well aware of the glares
And disparaging stares,
She declares, “Hey, you can’t wean ’em all!”

Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for a different limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

If a specter is haunting your hall
Or a wraith has you climbing the wall,
There’s a Ghostbuster crew
With a liquified goo
That will dampen your spirits—just call!

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jamie Hutchinson, Chris Doyle, Tim James, Ann Martin, Johanna Richmond, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A young thief was attempting to haul
The loot he’d obtained at the mall.
But he wasn’t too wise
Cause police know that guys
Won’t be pregnant and wearing a shawl.

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

Said a corpulent fellow named Hall,
Who was portlier than he was tall:
“It’s a myst’ry to me
How I came by E.D.;
In fact, I can’t grasp it at all.”

Jamie Hutchinson:

The mayor was out in the hall,
Getting high on his back by the wall.
“To judge from his manner,”
Suggested the planner,
“He won’t try to stop herb-and-sprawl.”

Chris Doyle:

A chorine who performs in a hall
In Paree has no booty at all.
She’s a kicking machine
And a dancer who’s lean.
(In the can can, your can can be small.)

Tim James:

Larry Craig entered Congress’s hall,
Backing right-wing designs above all.
But it stopped his advance
When he took a wide stance.
His career then went into a stall.

Ann Martin:

A student stepped into the hall
For he claimed he must heed Nature’s call;
But he whipped out his cell,
Phoned a friend: “Can you tell
The precise date of dear old Rome’s fall?”

Johanna Richmond:

An elderly bride in the hall
Married “Stretchy Tri-testicle Saul.”
’Twas her last day — they say
One went down the wrong way;
Well, at least she died having a ball.

Sue Dulley:

I’ve given up pacing the hall
And now I’ll just stare at the wall.
I have no Aleve
To help me conceive
A verse fit to share with you all.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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9 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (99)”

  1. Sue Dulley says:

    Thanks Mad for the HM, though that wasn’t meant to be an entry, just part of a conversation with Chris Doyle. The sheer volume of entries as well as talent of all the competitors was too much for me to compete with this week :-)

  2. Congratulations Chris and everyone else. And Mad, your opening Limerick was not too shabby in its own right! I’m so impressed with the quality of everyone’s limericks. Thanks for all the work you put into this Mad.

  3. Sue Dulley says:

    Agreed, Steve. (“Like”) And I should have said before, not just the volume and talent but the boldness and explicitness of last weeks entries is too rich for this LOL (little old lady) to compete with. But hey, I’ve managed to think up a couple of timidly tasteful ones for ‘canned’ before those easterners use up all the good rhyme words.

  4. Johanna Richmond says:

    Another great wean, Chris Doyle! Thanks, Mad — I had a lot of fun this week even if I was a brat! Good stress relief! I want to thank Steve W’s three balls, (Itchy, Scratchy and Paul) for inspiring my Limerick above. I couldn’t have done it without them. :). Congratulations to all!

  5. ChrisD says:

    Thanks, Mad! I had a, er, ball with this contest. And congrats to all!

    I think this lim pretty much captures what goes on here:

    Kane’s Gallery features a hall
    That has faces of rogues on each wall.
    They’re the masters of rhyme
    Who–a week at a time–
    Answer Madeline’s limerick call.

  6. Jane Hoffman says:

    Thanks again, Mad, and it was a VERY fun week. I love Chris D’s limerick calling us “rogues on the wall.” It is hard to wake up after some others have gotten some good rhymes first, but it makes it more challenging for us who are in a different time zone.

  7. Errol Nimbly says:

    Congratulations to Chris Doyle. Your winner this week is excellent, IMO.

  8. Sue Dulley says:

    Yes, Chris was unstoppable. I would have given his straggler “mini-apples ain’t ball” 3 likes if I could.

  9. madkane says:

    LOL! Thanks again to all you limerick “rogues!” And congrats once again to all the winners.