Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: YOKE or YOLK at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using YOKE or YOLK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SPAM, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SPAM-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 5, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 4, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Our nation is under the yoke
Of a demon named Donald — no joke!
As his party-mates cower,
His chokehold on power
Increases, his base still “unwoke.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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142 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: YOKE or YOLK at the end of any one line”

  1. Patrice Stewart says:

    He loves eggs and grits fried with spam:
    Cholesterol? Don’t give a da*n.
    The man’s yoked to the yolk
    And unlike av’rage folk,
    He declares, Eggs make me what I am

    Which includes being great in the sack!
    Yep, my woman, she keeps coming back.
    In our bed, four to five,
    She knows “Pete” comes alive:
    We re-pete, then we eat (…I lose track).

  2. Patrice Stewart says:

    Just like the next gal, I loathe spam:
    Tries to follow wherever I am.
    But TEXT OFF J’bug phone
    Makes it leave me alone!
    Let’s jam Big Bro’s two-four-seven cam
    (We need watchers? Oh, baby, a sham).

  3. Patrice Stewart says:

    They found him, cam spammers: oh no,
    Furtive photos of him with a ho.
    Blackmail’s lucrative, yes?
    They confessed later. Guess
    Just how much they raked in! LOTSA dough,

    ‘Cause most of us have something to hide,
    Some vice, habit most wouldn’t abide.
    If caught, many would fumble,
    Just pay and fake humble
    So names wouldn’t spread far and wide
    (Money saved: shrinking fast, an ebb tide).

  4. Lisi Nortman says:

    I opened an e-mail, (oh damn!)
    I just should have recognized spam:
    This ridiculous hoax
    Where I’ll meet sexy blokes
    We’ll be married next week, (me and Sam)

  5. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hey Man! Is this some kind of joke?
    You said I would get a new cloak
    It looks like a rat
    Or perhaps a small cat
    What the hell is this damn hairy yoke?

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    He made a mistake when he spoke;
    He said “would”, but meant “wouldn’t”, poor bloke.
    Now he sulks in disgrace
    With egg on his face –
    Dumb Donald just can’t take a yolk.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Under orders from Putin and Koch,
    He gets rich while the country goes broke.
    He befouls his abode
    Like a poisonous toad,
    And we’re hoping the bastard will croak.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    Dear voters, it’s time you awoke;
    Face reality, throw off the yoke.
    “Fake POTUS, resign!
    You’re a genuine swine,
    And we’ve purchased a pig in a poke!”

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Two heart attacks! (not such a joke!)
    What’s next? Will I have a damn stroke?
    Peg cooked “over easy”
    I then felt real queasy
    She said, “Next time, just throw up the yolk”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The email came out of the blue.
    “I’ve got twenty million for you,
    Guaranteed, ironclad!
    To receive it,” wrote Vlad,
    Just a good-faith deposit is due.”

    So I sent twenty thousand. I knew
    About spammers, but this must be true,
    Because Donald denies
    That Vlad ever lies …
    Now, when will my money come through?

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s Spam that I really do crave
    Folks love it, indeed they do rave!
    Now I hear a faint sound
    Is it under the ground?
    Oh Dear! Mama flipped in her grave!

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    Her hair color, sunrise/rinsed egg yolk,
    A sweet melody flowed when she spoke.
    Her taste in music, quite fine,
    Concerts expensive, like wine,
    Splurged on tickets and went for Baroque.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    All statements out of Trump’s mouth are SPAM,
    Lies with bluster, does not give a damn.
    He’s so antagonistic,
    When he’s caught, goes ballistic.
    His policies are just one big scam.

  14. Lisi Nortman says:

    Some foods make my whole body quiver
    I’m not allowed pork, (makes me shiver)
    She served me some Spam
    Which I know contains ham
    This IMBECILE added chopped liver

  15. Tim James says:

    Ole Olsson, a bothersome bloke,
    Put an egg in my hat, where it broke.
    When I yelled, “That was lame!”
    All he did was exclaim:
    “Yumpin’ Yesus! You can’t take a yoke!”

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    My doctor was clear when he spoke:
    “For protein, just eat the egg yolk
    It makes you feel great
    (You might even lose weight)
    And be healthy and strong when you croak”

  17. Lisi Nortman says:

    ANOTHER VERSION (makes more sense)

    Some foods make my whole body shiver
    I’m not allowed pork, (can’t forgive ‘er)
    Cause she served me some Spam
    Which I know contains ham
    (This “loony toon” added chopped liver)

  18. Sharon Neeman says:

    “First you iron the sleeves, then the yoke,”
    Grandma taught me, and “Sprinkle — don’t soak!”
    Now I wear crinkle cotton,
    But haven’t forgotten
    The love in her voice when she spoke.

  19. Sharon Neeman says:

    If we had meat at all, it was Spam,
    And we picked our own berries for jam;
    We did chores every day
    And went outside to play,
    And the grownups were called “Sir” and “Ma’am.”

    Sixty years down the road, I have steak,
    And I nibble croissants when I wake —
    But my grandson is mean,
    Always glued to the screen,
    And — what? Crying?! Not me, for Pete’s sake!

  20. Dave Johnson says:

    Humpty Dumpty, like regular folk,
    Would sit on the wall for a smoke.
    But after his splat,
    Said a fellow named Pratt:
    “I told you that guy was a yolk.”

  21. Lisi Nortman says:

    I received a cool e-mail from “Graham?”
    To warn me about getting spam
    So I’ve been sending money
    To “No More Junk Honey”
    And it solved all my problems. Hot Damn!

  22. While struggling under the yoke,
    One ox to the other ox spoke:
    “I find myself wantin’
    Some Humanycontin…”
    (I can’t even finish this joke.)

  23. I tried on-line dating, but since
    I’m finding it hard to convince
    Any girls to reply,
    I suppose I shall die
    A lonely Nigerian Prince.

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    In sewing, we learned “The Shirt Yoke”
    But my fine motor skills were a joke
    I made one too tight
    Not really quite right
    And caused my dear brother to choke

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    There are numerous uses for Spam!
    It also makes excellent jam!
    You mash it real well
    Till it forms a nice gel
    Your guests will just love it. (then SCRAM!)

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    (double checked with “you tube” on the proper pronunciation of
    “address”. The stressed syllable is “AD dress”

    Limerick:

    “Do NOT pay the “processing fee”
    It’s Spam! They will take it and flee
    You’ve not won big money
    You’re being scammed, Honey
    Here’s my ADdress; just send it to me”

  27. Dave Johnson says:

    (Here’s another take on Will Laughlin’s idea)

    An oxen pair toiled with their yoke;
    Both grumbling, each of them spoke.
    The first one: “Say Ted –
    What the hell’s on this sled?”
    “Trump’s ego, in petrified oak.”

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    HAPPY HOME MAKER COOKING LESSON #1

    When sep’rating white from the yolk
    The YUK you’ll see might just evoke
    Mem’ries of croup
    Throwing up in your soup
    Leave the kitchen. You don’t want to choke!

  29. Val Fish says:

    Your account’s been limited they say
    We suspect there has been some foul play
    But my suspicion
    Is they’ve been phishing
    Just click on this link’ – No way Jose.

  30. Sharon Neeman says:

    My aunt once reported a spammer
    And got him sent off to the slammer!
    “Though his projects beguiled
    Me,” said Auntie and smiled,
    “Real millionaires use better grammar.”

  31. Dave Johnson says:

    This P.O.T.U.S. is such a big sham;
    Embodies the flim and the flam.
    Dr. Seuss would prescribe
    One fate for his tribe:
    A diet of green eggs and Spam.

  32. Ken Gosse says:

    Thoughts Bar’d from the Bard ~
    Smell the rot in our good Camelot?
    The imposter Trump left his foul blot.
    Not just brown streak or yellow,
    But both from this fellow—
    It’s far worse than any spammed dot.

  33. Ken Gosse says:

    Chacun à Son Goo ~
    A one-m Spam’s meat in a can,
    But a spammer’s a woman or man.
    Yet I’d even bet Nash
    That some people love hash
    With three mmm’s when the meat hits the fan.

  34. THIS WEEK IS DIFFICULT

    I’m afraid I’m not one of those folk
    Whose “yoke” sounds the same as their “yolk”.
    Oh, I could pretend;
    But I know, in the end,
    I’d regret it the moment I… spolk?

  35. In Iceland, the strange huldufólk
    Scare the chickens and scramble their yolk.
    They’re so weird that it’s feared
    That the cows will get “skyr”-ed,
    And the terror will curdle their mjólk.

    (This is far afield I have to go to find a decent rhyme for this week… the huldufólk (hidden folk) are Icelandic supernatural creatures that the locals take very seriously indeed; and skyr, I’m sure everybody knows by now, is a delicious Icelandic yogurt made from the local milk [mjólk]. Phooey.)

  36. P Diane Schneider says:

    Well now the guy sez he misspoke
    He claims there is really no yoke
    With Putin? No way!
    Believe me I say!
    But don’t fall for the okey doke

  37. P Diane Schneider says:

    I am so weary of spam
    These criminals don’t give a damn
    With gratuitous lie
    They bleed victims dry
    And spammers are still on the lam

  38. Ken Gosse says:

    Smoken and Yolken ~
    When you’re rhyming a limerick with yolk,
    People act like it’s some kind of joke.
    Hokey Smoke! Are you nuts
    Or an addle-brained putz?
    You should toke one more smoke of that coke.

  39. Ken Gosse says:

    Huffin’ and Puffin’ with Nod ~
    When Winken and Blinken and Nod
    Went a trippin’ in their wooden pod,
    They decided the yoke’ll
    Fit fine on some yokel
    Who’ll smoke’ll and pull their hot rod.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    If your “e-mailer” just seems unknown
    You will sense that “mysterious” tone
    Most “spammers” mislead
    So always take heed
    When you get one from “La AmaZONE”

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    My in-box is full of such junk!
    And most of its totally bunk!
    But I just can’t delete
    Cuz one might be from Pete
    (You should see him; he’s really a hunk!)

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ignorance is Bliss

    Oh, Wow! I found one real cool bomb!
    I told all of my friends, even Mom!
    A “Guideline For Fools”
    You just read the rules:
    It’s a website called, “No Spam Dot Com”

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    In order to get to the yolk
    You give that cute sucker a poke
    Then gook will spill out
    Like a damn gushing spout
    Cooking sucks. Just eat out. Go for broke.

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction in CAPS for previous limerick:” Ignorance is Bliss”

    Oh Wow! I found one real cool bomb!
    I told my BEST friends, (ALSO Mom)
    IT’S a “Guideline For Fools”
    You just read ALL the rules:
    (A website called, “No Spam Dot Com”)

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    THIS ONE IS BETTER

    When sep’rating white from the yolk
    The yuk that comes out will evoke
    Those mem’ries of croup
    (Throwing up in your soup)
    Leave the kitchen, or else you might croak

  46. Jean McEwen says:

    You really must work on your stroke
    For egg separation. It’s broke!
    Now the whites just won’t whip
    Cause they’re caught in the grip
    Of that yucky, defiling stray yolk!

  47. Jean McEwen says:

    Hormel makes a mystery meat.
    It’s with sodium nitrites replete.
    Monty Python may scoff,
    But I say: Buzz off!
    ‘Cause Spam’s what I most like to eat.

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    What I tell you is truly no joke
    This task almost gave me a stroke
    I have to admit
    That my omelet was shit
    All due to a real coddled yolk

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    What I’m telling you isn’t a joke
    Our sweet little chick had a stroke
    Half her anus is numb
    And it makes her feel dumb
    Cause all she can lay is the yolk

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    My cholesterol’s high, (It’s no joke)
    “Doc”‘ said I could have a bad stroke
    Then breakfast was fine
    The eggs just divine
    But I had to unscramble the yolk

  51. Dave Johnson says:

    In rowing, he’s known as the stroke;
    Then starboard, another big bloke.
    They power the shell
    When it’s all going well
    Like oxen attached to a yoke.

    The rest of us try to keep pace;
    Intent upon winning the race.
    If we manage a burst
    And wind up in first,
    Our coxswain gets launched into space.

  52. Ken Gosse says:

    Well, Excuess Me ~
    That morning, my egg had a yolk
    Which was green, like a St. Patrick’s joke;
    And so was my ham,
    So I wrote, “Spam I Am.”
    Dr. Seuss sued, so now I am broke.

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    Got an e-mail from “Answer Your Prayer”
    The “subject” was “Real Frizzy Hair”
    I “clicked” and it showed
    A girl whose hair glowed
    So I knew it was just “on the square”

    I sent only ten bucks for my share
    And I felt that was certainly fair
    I’ve been paying for years
    For my frizzy repairs
    Each installment is just for one hair

  54. Tony Holmes says:

    Svedish businessman, Jurgenson Svolke,
    Was so large all his clothes were bespoke.
    “Ven you’re sefen feed tall,
    Normal clothes is too schmall;
    Gedding trousers dat fit is no yolk.”

    Special Processed American Meat
    Was what handed Der Fuhrur defeat.
    Served in sarnies and soups,
    It put heart in the troops,
    And convinced them they couldn’t be beat’.

  55. Tony Holmes says:

    Silly me, that should be ‘yoke’ not ‘yolk’. Tch, tch.

    Svedish businessman, Jurgenson Svolke,
    Was so large all his clothes were bespoke.
    “Ven you’re sefen feed tall,
    Normal clothes is too schmall;
    Gedding trousers dat fit is no yoke.”

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    What I’m telling you isn’t a joke
    Growing up, we were always flat broke
    I seem to recall
    We just never got “all”
    And breakfast was bacon and yolk

  57. Tony Holmes says:

    Two old ladies in deck chairs were sat
    When a streaker stopped by for a chat.
    “Vell, youngk man, that’s no yoke!
    I might vell have a stroke.”
    But too slow, she just managed a pat.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    “I’m a vegan and cannot eat Spam
    The animal product is ham”
    “There’s no need to panic
    This pig was organic!”
    “Oh really? I have some! Hot Damn!

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    Did you know that the Donald loves Spam?
    I’m totally shocked! (Yes I am!)
    But now on reflection
    There is a connection
    Of course!! He’s the world’s biggest HAM !!

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    Downstate, there are real “high tech” folk
    (Some people just call them “The Joke”)
    Their chicks are so bright
    Some lay only the white
    While the others lay only the yolk

  61. Sharon Neeman says:

    I’m allergic — Fate’s cruelest joke:
    If you offer me peanuts, I’ll choke;
    I get rashes from fruit
    And from dairy I toot,
    And I eat neither egg white nor yolk.

    I throw up from salami and Spam;
    I can’t touch chicken, duck, beef or ham;
    I break out from tomatoes —
    What’s left? Sweet potatoes
    Thrice daily. I yam what I yam.

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    If my hubby eats eggs he will choke
    (God help me) I wish he would croak
    I made him some “stew”
    (I now owe his death to)
    The incredible edible yolk

  63. Tim James says:

    What’s in Spam? Here, I’ll give it a stab:
    Salt and nitrite (both more than a dab),
    Sugar, water, starch, meat.
    It won’t hurt you to eat,
    Though it looks like it’s grown in a lab.

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    Even though it was clearly a sham
    I opened this e-mail (Oh damn!)
    It said, “Here’s a great plan:
    It’s called “Pork In A Can”
    (Any jerk could just tell it was Spam)

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    That Harry is one creepy bloke
    He gives gifts that are really a joke
    Just thinks he’s so hot
    And for Christmas I got
    A Faberge egg with a yolk

  66. Lisi Nortman says:

    (creepy Harry again)

    This Harry is one stupid bloke
    (The remarks that he makes are no joke)
    We all went for “Chinese”
    And he asked, “Will you please
    Give me hot Egg Drop Soup with no yolk”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    This Harry is REALLY stupid!

    If one’s greedy, they’re known as “Bad Folk”
    And Aesop was telling no joke
    So to prove that it’s true
    Stupid Harry said, “You
    should read “Goose And His Real Golden Yolk”

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: for the Chinese Egg Drop Soup limerick, line three should read:
    We ALL went for “Chinese” (for better meter)
    Could you add the word “ALL”

    Thank You,
    Lisi

    ***
    Done.

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m just not the sort who is mean
    (And I love watching flicks on the screen)
    See, I once tasted Spam
    Then cried out “Gee God damn!
    Oh Please! let’s not see “Soylent Green”

  70. Tim Gray says:

    Human kindness’ gentle yolk
    Is displayed by so few folk.
    The American Way,
    Vis-a-vis NRA,
    Then appears as a tawdry joke.

    An omelette requires some eggs be broke
    Before the mix of white and yolk.
    Ideal repast
    For a breakfast
    Is favoured by some folk.

    Neath my official solemn yoke
    What I say is never a joke;
    There is no disputin’
    What I said about Putin…
    No sorry, it appears I miss-spoke.

    Some people are simply no good
    At behaving as some think they should.
    They turn to scam
    By sending out Spam
    Not a legitimate job like they could.

    Monty Python sang of SPAM
    Before the internet true began.
    Special Processed American Meat,
    A culinary delightful treat?
    Not some unsolicited email scam

    Special Processed American Meat
    Or SPAM in Yankee’s rations replete.
    By foodies is panned
    Because it is canned,
    But it helped in the Nazi’s defeat.

    Ex-Monty Pythoner’s sang-a-lot
    About SPAM in the musical Spamalot.
    A gold and bold night
    In Brit humour’s fight
    For innuendo, nuance and of course ham-a-lot.

    Mass unsolicited emails, also known as Spam
    Are mostly perpetrated as the friendly face of scam.
    Just stop and think
    And don’t click the link
    And delete them as soon as you can.

  71. Lisi Nortman says:

    If your e-mail seems very malicious
    Don’t open it. Please be suspicious!
    But if it says, “pie”
    Then do NOT pass it by
    (In that case, it’s something delicious)

  72. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s many a dangerous scam
    Which come in the form of a “spam”
    Just beware of “Sir Dickie”
    Cause that one is tricky
    The key words to note are “Wham Bam”

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    Dr. Menopause so clearly spoke:
    “My Dear, what I see is no joke!
    “You no longer have eggs
    (Or not even the dregs)
    “And also, you ain’t got no yolk”

  74. Tim Gray says:

    The aggressive and rowdy young yokel
    Sought attention and craved to be focal
    Point of each spat
    He caused wherever he’s at,
    Now he’s in a jail that’s quite local.

  75. Tim Gray says:

    Though they all look alike every egg is bespoke
    Determined by its own white and own yolk
    But having a double
    Could lead to trouble
    As a Siamese-twin chicken’s no joke.

  76. Tim Gray says:

    There was a young man from Woking
    Who tried hard to give up smoking.
    He tried sucking a yolk
    The egg stuck in his throat
    And he nearly died from the choking.

  77. Tim Gray says:

    My wife says that I am
    A lovely highly vanilla man.
    I have to say
    That’s just OK,
    Not artificial just like spam.

  78. Tim Gray says:

    Though she might have been nearing age ninety,
    The old lady, who was built quite slightly,
    Gave never a croak
    Under water tote yoke
    Just skipped along so breezily and sprightly.

  79. Tim Gray says:

    Can you change lightly to sprightly?

    *****

    Done.

  80. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    From my snooze, I awoke to the stews’
    Cries for women and children, in queues.
    What could cause all this panic?
    Was I on the Titanic?
    It was Spam on our Carnival cruise.

    In case you don’t remember, during the early morning hours of 8 November 2010, a fire in the engine room knocked out the Carnival Splendor’s main power supply. It then had to be towed to port while passengers were allegedly reduced to eating Spam and taking cold showers in their dark, stuffy cabins.

    In contrast, the Titanic sank on 15 April 1912, killing nearly 70% of those on board.

  81. Tim Gray says:

    Some older women beyond their pride
    Whose eggs have all ossified,
    Sad to say this is no joke,
    Resort to donated sperm and yolk
    Should this practice be decried?

    Alternate ending – To rejuvenate the once blushing bride.

  82. Tim Gray says:

    Some older women other alternate ending:
    … practice please be denied.

  83. Tim Gray says:

    As egg-tosser’s we don’t go for broke
    In tossing without spilling the yolk.
    A gentle snatch
    From the air is the catch
    To avoid a messy egg soak.

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m preparing a meal for “Sweet Pam”
    She’s a sexy brunette, (Oh Hot Damn!)
    So I went to “Gourmet”
    And checked out their array
    Won’dring what type of wine goes with Spam

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Are you eating that crap again, Joe?
    Say, Buddy, how low can you go?”
    “You see, my friend, Syd
    Me and Peg want a kid
    And right now, my damn Spam count’s too low”

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ain’t THIS the truth!

    Oh yes, I am quite a bit older
    And thus, I’m undoubtedly bolder
    My first husband (Oh GAD !)
    The second (Real BAD!)
    (They live in my cherished spam folder)

  87. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: one limerick above: line five

    It reads, “And right now my damn Spam count’s too low”
    Could you please delete the word: “damn” (for better meter)

    Thanks again,
    Lisi

    ***

    I didn’t because the meter as written seems to work for me:

    And right NOW, my damn SPAM count’s too LOW.”

  88. If Republicans find that the yoke
    Binding them to our National Joke
    Is a little too tight,
    By November Trump might
    Find some arsenic put in his Coke.

  89. Tim Gray says:

    Ivanka’s surrendered the yoke
    Of her business, which was going broke.
    Due to tarrifs Chinese
    And a retailer squeeze,
    To concentrate on supporting D bloke.

  90. Tim Gray says:

    The chief chef aboard Air Force One
    Appears to be having some fun,
    With burger McSpam
    And coke, spam chips and spam
    To cater to D’s delicate tum.

  91. Tim Gray says:

    One thing they say they have found,
    (In those internet things that go round),
    That a high dose of spam
    Is a cure-all for flam
    And is embalming for when you’re in the ground.

  92. Tim Gray says:

    Two up… could you change his delicate to D’s delicate – Ta

    ***
    Done

  93. Tim James says:

    A mountain man, tending his still,
    Was enraged by his latest tax bill.
    That damn government yoke
    Makes him sputter and choke ―
    Although less than that hooch of his will.

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    “What d’you think of that lim’rik site Pam?”
    “It surely confuses me, Sam!
    You said, “Click under MAD”
    So I did, but was sad
    Cause her blog’s full of egg yolks and Spam!”

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    The smart people say “It’s no joke”
    It’s a topic of all the “town folk”
    A sequential-like query
    (Perhaps just a theory)
    “Which came first, then, the white or the yolk?”

  96. Tim Gray says:

    Apparent only birds and reptiles
    Have eggs can be used as missiles.
    So join in the joke,
    And spatter with yolk
    Some clean and bright white shirt textiles.

  97. Tim Gray says:

    A man took a pig-in-a-poke.
    Turned out ’twas be covered with yolk.
    With legs weak and rubbery,
    He ran into the shrubbery,
    Where he stifled his cries with a choke.

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    The cast and the crew, (gifted folk)
    Although, opening night was a joke!
    The play:”Trump’s Great Deeds
    And Just How He Succeeds”
    Laid a genuine bonafide yolk

  99. Lisi Nortman says:

    Betty Mac Donald (3/07-2/58)

    The Mac Donald’s were real simple folk
    And life on the farm was no joke
    “Stupid Harry” did claim
    That their “lives were a shame”
    (Said he just finished, “I And The Yolk”)

  100. Lisi Nortman says:

    When e-mails are “strange” you DELETE!
    That simple task now is COMPLETE!
    (Yet, I JUST had to pay
    Fifty dollars a day)
    T’was a cure for my real smelly feet!

  101. When moving day came and we woke,
    our first act wast to put on a yoke.
    Since taking each box in
    made us feel like oxen,
    we had a laugh ‘fore our backs broke.

  102. There once was a chicken who spoke
    not long after turning from yolk.
    When asked “chicken or egg?”
    he said, “Don’t pull my leg!
    They both were around when I woke!”

  103. I’m not up to writing a limerick yet
    But when I can, I will tell you, you bet!
    Kay

  104. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION:

    The cast and the crew, (gifted folk)
    But Opening Night was a joke
    “The Donald’s Great Deeds
    “And Just How He Succeeds”
    Laid a genuine bona fide yolk

  105. Tim Gray says:

    I seem to have all of you chumps
    Thoroughly, totally whumped.
    On you is the joke,
    Your face covered with yoke,
    The game certainly wasn’t No Trumps.

  106. Tim Gray says:

    It is the middle of the night.
    I’m awake from my peaceful sleep-tight.
    The stitching broke
    On my pyjama-top yoke,
    And gave me one hell of a fright.

    (Alternate ending: This Chinese merchandise is a fright.)

  107. Tim Gray says:

    Two up: that should be yolk, note yoke. Ta.

  108. Tim Gray says:

    I spend all of the day in the saddle
    Getting ever more burnt to a frazzle.
    As I tie the calf rope
    To the horse yoke
    I keep thinking, “How can I skedaddle?”

  109. Tim Gray says:

    A deliberate poke of the borax
    In the story of Onceler and Lorax.
    The Dr. Seuss poke
    At Big Business’ Yoke
    Sadly did not prevent a lot more acts!
    (Alternate ending: Hopefully went some way to stop more acts?)

  110. Tim Gray says:

    I’d offer to help you out Kay,
    ‘Cause I’m sure you’ve got something to say,
    But which yolk, yoke or spam?
    I’m not sure that I can,
    But Kay whatever you say is OK.

  111. Lisi Nortman says:

    The temptation was strong as he spoke
    She was certain his love was no joke
    But when they got close
    He then said, “Adios”
    Cause this man was just one deviled yoke

  112. Lisi Nortman says:

    Poor Mary Anne had a bad stroke
    Yet her husband was clear when he spoke:
    “I am trying to sleep”
    “Please do not make a peep”
    (This guy was just one hard-boiled yoke)

  113. Lisi Nortman says:

    Another darn spam from “Let’s Mingle!”
    And would you believe it’s called “Swingle”!!
    (Of course I should pay)
    It just won’t go away
    And WHAT!! It’s a crime being SINGLE?

  114. Tim Gray says:

    My m-in-law is a tech dud,
    Won’t learn, e’en though she could.
    A computing ham,
    Knows nothing of spam
    But at pay-out’s she’s getting quite good.

  115. Tim Gray says:

    You won’t know what it is to harried
    Until you find yourself married;
    Forego the marital yoke
    With some woman or bloke
    Or harried married you’ll wish you had tarried.

  116. Lisi Nortman says:

    HOLIDAY COOKING IDEA

    This dish is one “kit and caboodle”
    Mix ham with some pork, and a noodle
    It’s also essential
    To fold in a pencil
    And PRESTO! You’ve just made Spam Doodle!

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    (A nice recipe for Christmas and Chanukah)

    This dish is just “yum” (Oh Hot Damn!)
    The essential ingredient’s HAM
    Mix in unleavened bread
    So it makes a nice spread
    And you’ve made what’s called “Matzoh Ball Spam”

  118. Tim Gray says:

    I in no way want to disparage
    The institution of marriage,
    But neath legal yoke,
    Dissolution’s no joke
    And of justice there may be miscarriage.

  119. Tim Gray says:

    After much familial harangue
    I agreed to make a meringue.
    No use for the yolk?
    A face-cream bespoke…
    Now I look ten years younger. Gawd-dang!

  120. Tim Gray says:

    Apologies

    I seem to have screwed my correction
    In giving you the wrong direction.
    The “yoke” should be “yolk”
    Not to “yolk, note yoke”
    Which makes no sense on reflection.

  121. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you have an aversion to ham
    It doesn’t mean you won’t like Spam
    Add one cup Sangria
    And then you will see ‘ya
    Will eat it and not give a damn

  122. Lisi Nortman says:

    (unexpected company)

    Here’s a recipe known as “Fast Ham”
    You can make it when you’re in a jam
    (To satisfy needs
    Of all races and creeds)
    It’s Moussaka and lox, mixed with Spam

  123. Lisi Nortman says:

    For a healthy heart, don’t eat the YOLK!
    It’s like poison for old AND young “folk”
    So if you are bright
    Please eat ONLY egg white
    And then just go out for a smoke

  124. Tim Gray says:

    Some dine on turkey and ham
    At Christmas, I prefer Spam.
    The chemical storm
    Keeps me toastilly warm
    And the surge through my veins? Hot-damn!

  125. Tim Gray says:

    I decry the sham use of spam.
    I’m honest, I most certainly am!
    I’ll not beg or plead,
    (Though cash I do need),
    Trust me. You know you can.

  126. Tim Gray says:

    Ve’re sorry that some of you volk
    Are unhappy under our yoke,
    But the Fuhrer says “Fire!”
    Vich is vhat ve reqvire
    Zo hurry-up, shovel more coke.

  127. David Franks says:

    We’re a team, as if joined by a yoke,
    And our “marital bond” we invoke,
    But my wife made a noose,
    For she didn’t deduce
    That “the old ball and chain” is a joke.

  128. David Franks says:

    It’s not marmoset, egret or lamb;
    Neither lizard, nor hagfish, nor clam;
    Not giraffe, worm, dog, cat,
    Yeast, turducken or bat,
    Nor planarian. I’m guessing Spam.

  129. Lisi Nortman says:

    The pediatrician, “Doc” Polk
    Was the man who would always provoke
    My brother and me
    To just take off and flee
    Till our mom stuck our heads through a yoke

  130. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: Line five I typed “out” instead or “our”
    I should read: Till our mom stuck OUR heads through a yoke
    Can you change that for me.

    Thank you,
    Lisi

    *****

    Done.

  131. Lisi Nortman says:

    The minister gracefully spoke:
    “I’ve come here to wed you two folk”
    But right then I thought back
    When I married that “wak”
    And just bolted from under the yoke

  132. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh Dear! Here’s that real boorish yoke!
    “Hey Mum, where d’ya buy that old cloak?”
    “My dear, it’s a SHAWL
    “And just once and for all!
    “My clothing are ALWAYS bespoke!”

  133. Dave Johnson says:

    Now Trump, with one twidiot stroke,
    Just buzz-sawed a G.O.P. yoke.
    Because of his spree,
    Their mid-terms will be
    A picnic without any Koch.

  134. Lisi Nortman says:

    New Limerick (three above) That one: a bit confusing

    The minister gracefully spoke:
    “I’m delighted to wed you nice “folk”
    But then I thought back
    (My first wife was a “wak”)
    So I bolted from under the yoke

  135. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh Boy, you are one sexy yoke!
    And I love your new shiny black cloak!
    “My Dear, I’ve a game
    “It’s called “Blindfold And Shame”
    “Sounds like FUN! Eight o’clock? Okey doke!

  136. Tim Gray says:

    There are some very smart folk
    Write bespoke jokes of yolk.
    Seems some of them can
    Be sending like spam
    Caught up in their creative yoke.

  137. Tim Gray says:

    What’s that you say Sam-I-Am,
    That YOU don’t like Green Eggs and Spam?
    Can’t stand the green yolk,
    Makes you splutter and choke
    And retch at green white and green spam.

  138. Byron Miller says:

    Now, a word that’s not easy to peg,
    Is the word for the white of an egg.
    Repeat joke joke joke joke
    And you’ll think the word’s “yolk”!
    But it’s not: I’ve been pulling your leg.

  139. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad Kane loves a real funny joke
    (Her hubby is quite a nice bloke)
    And every two weeks
    She presents her “critiques”
    Until then, we’re all under her yoke

  140. Lisi Nortman says:

    You have entered “Ye ‘Ole Hippie Yoke”
    Each day, we attempt to evoke
    The “Spirit Of Time”
    When our lives were sublime
    And to join us, you must take a toke

  141. Byron Miller says:

    Eating SPAM from the can with a fork,
    Is my favorite way to have pork.
    Oh! I’m sorry to hear
    That my words are not clear:
    That’s the way that we speak in New Yolk.

  142. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 303. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Date.

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