Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BELL, BELLE, or the Verb REBEL at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BELL, BELLE, or the Verb REBEL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PUNISHMENT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PUNISHMENT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 22, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 21, 2018, at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The runner felt swell at the bell,
But suddenly all went to hell;
One lace got untied,
And an ankle felt fried,
As behind former stragglers he fell.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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122 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BELL, BELLE, or the Verb REBEL at the end of any one line”

  1. Ken Gosse says:

    O’erwelling Consequences ~
    Trump would punish potential rebellion
    By demanding that each wanton hellion
    Watch his face night and day,
    And hear all that he’d say.
    His draconian touch was Orwellian.

  2. Sharon Neeman says:

    The tomography patient looked swell,
    But, my God, did her bod have a smell!
    The techs, all revolted,
    Took one whiff, then bolted —
    Not putting the CAT on the belle.

  3. Sharon Neeman says:

    Snatching kids makes America big?!
    Throw the Snatcher-in-Chief in the brig!
    Make him pay for his fun:
    Give that immigrant’s son
    A new jumpsuit — same shade as his wig.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    “Your heart is as sound as a bell,”
    Said his doctor, “Your mind is as well.”
    But with medical tact,
    Didn’t add “One that’s cracked”,
    So the Donald just burbled “Thass swell.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    It needs just a few to rebel
    To prevent the Supreme Court from Hell.
    But the Koch Brothers’ wealth
    Speaks much louder than health –
    When they’re buying, Republicans sell.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    At a GOP rally, young Belle
    Cried “What is that terrible smell?”
    A slime-trail of ooze
    Led to Senator Cruz.
    “Oh, it’s normal,” she said,”All is well.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    (Double)

    An athletic young hooker called Belle
    Said “You’ve been a bad boy, I’ve heard tell.”
    So she spanked and she spanked
    While the President wanked,
    Till his bum was bright orange as well.

  8. Patrice Stewart says:

    Flap Jack’s…

    She roused him by ringing a bell
    When pancakes with eggs he could smell.
    Ate then started their day
    With a roll in the…Hey!
    Over easy, he pleaded: More gel!

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    (Punishment – recycled from the previous Lim-Off)

    Arriving in Hell, Trump laments
    “This hotel isn’t worth twenty cents!
    Where’s my sweet golden showers
    Like I got in Trump Towers?”
    The Devil replies, “Here’s Mike Pence.”

  10. Patrice Stewart says:

    Oh, baby, you’re ringing my bell
    With that see-thru affair: sure looks…swell,
    But I ain’t made of money!
    What’s tonight’s special, honey?
    I’m a buyer and you’re here to sell
    (Michelle, oddly, once worked for Ma Bell).

  11. Patrice Stewart says:

    He whacked off at the sound of the bell
    As the whip struck. Pain? He couldn’t tell.
    Blindfolded, blindsided,
    Sensations collided
    When guided by Mistress Rochelle.

    It’s rumored she has a few million
    Earned stroking her stable of billion-
    Aires, each seeking pleasure
    Dealt out in rough measure:
    Ideas? She has a gazillion.

  12. Patrice Stewart says:

    Too many were urged to rebel
    By a nutjob unable to tell
    It’s not good to preach chaos.
    He wants to be called Boss,
    Perhaps God. What we’ll buy, he’ll sell.
    (If he had his way, we’d go to Hell.)

    They claim there’s a backlash in motion,
    The pendulum swings: magic potion?
    Exit date Twelfth of Never
    Unless we get clever;
    My angry tears could fill an ocean
    (Four years four too long, I’ve the notion).

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    I bid a despondent farewell
    To my lovely and sweet “mad’moi selle”
    This lady was hot
    Always hit the right spot
    I called her the “ball of my bell”

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    “The punishment should fit the crime,”
    Said the Judge, “So you will not do time.
    Instead, you’ll be chained
    In your swamp till it’s drained,
    And you’ve swallowed each last bit of slime.”

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    We found a nice inn called La Belle
    Ten bucks for each hour, (real swell)
    I paid the whole bill
    Then said, “Good-bye, Phil”
    Here’s your $9.50 change. Go to hell

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    Quasimodo was lonely as hell
    All day and all night rang that bell
    Then he finally met “Di”
    But all things went awry
    When she got a good whiff of his smell

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    There are mirrors galore where I dwell,
    So the views of my mistress are swell
    As she sucks and she fucks;
    It’s a pornshow deluxe,
    And I call her “My sweet Mirror-belle”.

  18. Sharon Neeman says:

    I’ve just silenced my “Notify” bell:
    Brian Allgar’s as busy as hell.
    I do love his verses,
    But sometimes — oh, curses! —
    I have to get work done as well.

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    (Variation on an old one)

    The bimbo was pretty but cold,
    And insisted she did it for gold.
    “If you ring my cash-bell,
    I am yours”, she would tell
    All the fellows for whom the belle tolled.

  20. Lisi Nortman says:

    Elementary school was just hell
    The teachers were mean and they’d yell
    In my pants, I would pee
    Cause the rule was that we
    Couldn’t “go” till the sound of the bell

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    (Another old one)

    In the tale of the Beauty called Belle,
    It’s the sugared-up version they sell,
    For the Beast found he’d rather
    Just dine on her father
    And eat her for ‘afters’ as well.

  22. Sharon Neeman says:

    Imagine a future hotel
    With no maids and no bellmen — no bell!
    Machines will unpack you
    And diddle or jack you
    And serve up your dinner as well.

  23. Sharon Neeman says:

    At dinner, if ever I said
    Something nasty, they sent me to bed —
    So I often was rude:
    “Reading’s better than food;
    Let my brothers do dishes instead!”

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    My grandson actually asked my this question. (so funny)
    In this limerick, I must be “Jean” for rhyme-sake

    My grandson is just cute as hell
    And for sure, coming out of his shell
    He’s almost a teen
    And asked, “Grandma Jean,
    When’s the time I’m supposed to rebel?”

  25. Judith H. Block says:

    Heroes, against injustice, rebel,
    We’ve got to do more than just yell,
    There is no more doubt,
    We must throw the bums out!
    ‘Cause America’s going to hell.

  26. Judith H. Block says:

    Read rhino poachers by lions were killed!
    I cheered, indeed I was just thrilled!
    I’d be gleeful, not vexed,
    If the Trump sons were next!
    More sweet justice would then be fulfilled.

  27. Sharon Neeman says:

    Take my house, take my pool, take my car,
    My TV, my best clothes, my guitar –
    I won’t say it’s unfair;
    I did wrong – but don’t dare
    Take my books! Why, that’s going too far!

  28. Sharon Neeman says:

    This week’s challenge is far from sublime:
    Mad has found us a verb with no rhyme!
    Not “astonish” or “banish”
    Or “donnish” or “vanish” –
    Just “nunnish,” which wastes all our time.

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punishment

    Some immigrant children will die
    Good people just can’t fathom”why”
    The Pres is a dope
    And don’t we all hope
    That the law’s changed to “eye for an eye”

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS !! (line three: I instead of “In”

    Elementary school was just hell
    The teachers were mean and they’d yell
    “IN” my pants I would pee
    Cause the rule was that we
    Couldn’t “go” till the sound of the bell

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punishment

    In the fifties, the kids would all shout
    We got “smacked” and there just was no doubt
    Now they still go astray
    They will oft disobey
    And for murder, they get a “time out”

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS! (line 5 wrong “bell”)

    I bid a despondent farewell
    To my lovely and sweet mad’moi selle
    This lady was hot
    Always hit the right spot
    I called her the “Ball of My BELLE”

  33. Lisi Nortman says:

    I caught “wifey” at No Tell Motel
    I said, “Oh my God!” “What the hell?”
    But she kept going on
    With my best buddy John
    Then I screamed, “Look at me! Ring a bell?”

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    Please punish me Sir, let us play
    Ropes, blindfolds, or cuffs, (Here’s the way)
    “Now, when are we done?”
    “See, I’m not having fun”
    “I’m just here for an old-fashioned lay”

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    Santa’s up there in age, you can tell
    We feel bad, but it’s close to “farewell”
    He lost his red hat
    And not only that:
    He could only find one jingle bell

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punishment

    You’ve broken my two priceless lamps!
    You kids are just giving me cramps!
    Go right now to “Aged Oaks”
    You shall live with my folks
    (That’s grandma and old cranky “gramps”)

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s no punishment that is so neat
    As this one that’s really “complete”:
    Take away that iphone
    BOY! Will they feel alone:
    No more instagram, texting, or tweet

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    It seems discipline just never ends
    Yet often, they must make amends
    If your kids disobey
    You can punish this way:
    Just kiss them in front of their friends

  39. Dave Johnson says:

    He’s dating a true Southern belle
    Who’s gracious and gorgeous as well.
    We talked for a while
    And he said with a smile:
    “She’s horny and I’m feeling swell.”

  40. Dave Johnson says:

    A comely bartender named Belle
    Has S&M leanings as well.
    When done kicking ass,
    She fills glass after glass;
    Still, “feeling no pain” hurts like hell.

  41. Tony Holmes says:

    The Briton, Britannicus Knave,
    Was a very rebellious slave.
    Too much trouble at home,
    They dispatched him to Rome,
    Where they soon taught him how to behave.

    Hubristic young Gunar The Norse,
    Was, reputedly, hung like a horse;
    Till one day, on a raid,
    When an enemy’s blade
    Cut his pride down to size at the source.

    Homunculus, Belvedere Grimes,
    Has seen more than his share of harsh times;
    But he relished the joke
    When a very large bloke
    Was indicted for most of his crimes.

    Master miller, Cornelius Bower,
    Spent six hours every day milling flower;
    But the rest of his time
    He devoted to crime,
    Which is why he now works from the Tower.

  42. Sharon Neeman says:

    TWOFER

    “Come lie down and be whipped,” hissed the “pastor;”
    “You have shown disrespect to your master.”
    His “disciple,” sweet Belle,
    Grinned and answered “Like hell!
    Though you’re older and bigger, I’m faster.”

  43. mark westin says:

    In the old days ’twas telephone hell
    When the circuits were ruled by Ma Bell
    Till a wireless coup
    Promised freedom anew
    But we wound up enslaved by the cell

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    punishment

    The 50’s: “You can’t watch T.V.
    And no supper, my final decree!”
    The 90’s: okay, though
    “You’re barred from Nintendo”
    Now the kids punish you and then me

  45. Tony Holmes says:

    Oh, how my glands start to swell
    When I think of the night I met Belle.
    She was coy, I had gold;
    She took charge, I got rolled;
    And ‘twas I spent the night in a cell!

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    Long ago we would think that a cell
    Was a place where the “bad people” dwell
    Mama’d be in such shock
    How these small phones just “rock”
    (As would Sir Alexander Graham Bell)

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    a slight change:line five

    Long ago, we would think that a cell
    Was a place where the”bad people” dwell
    Mama’d be in such shock
    How these small phones just “rock”
    (So would Sir Alexander Graham Bell)

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    We woke up and just started to yell
    Cause we thought we were living in hell
    Called the kids in real fast
    And politely then asked,
    “Who the fuck rang that goddamn loud bell?”

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    PUNISHMENT

    You should see how I totally shook
    Just didn’t know I was a crook!
    (Was put in the clink)
    I just didn’t think
    To return that damn library book!

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    PUNISHMENT

    Oh Shit! were those cops so damn mean!
    I was squashed in just like a sardine
    Got put in the pen
    With some other ten men
    I really thought she was eighteen

  51. Val Fish says:

    In my teens I was one to rebel
    Oh the tawdry tales that I could tell
    In hindsight I see
    How selfish of me
    To have put my poor parents through hell

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    A NASTIER VERSION (PUNISHMENT) line two

    Oh Shit! were those cops so damn mean
    I felt like a fuckin’ sardine
    (Got put in the pen)
    With some other ten men
    I really thought she was eighteen

  53. Val Fish says:

    Six feet under, I heard the death knell
    OMG, I’d been sentenced to hell
    Thank the Lord I survived
    Being buried alive
    Cos I truly was saved by the bell

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    Indulging in every whim,
    His antics spill over the brim.
    With damage so vast,
    All our friends are aghast;
    And we’re being punished for him.

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    PUNISHMENT THROUGHOUT THE DECADES

    The 50’s:”You won’t watch T.V
    And no supper, my final “decree!
    It’s homework tonight
    You must do all things right
    And listen to mommy and me”

    The 60’s:”You may not protest
    We parents all know what is best
    So go to your room
    We’ll have no doom and gloom
    When you come out, be properly dressed”

    The 70’s: Music’s too LOUD!
    Stay away from that real filthy crowd
    You simply must know
    How to suitably grow
    So that mommy and dad will feel proud

    The 80’s: No Nike’s for you!
    So please wear a regular shoe
    You just need to learn
    For some things that you yearn
    Some dreams really won’t just come true

    The 90’s: Those stupid bandannas are out!
    What the damn hell is that all about?
    Your hair is so pretty
    Those scarves look so shitty
    There’s some styles you will just do without

    So many long years have gone by
    Yet some things we had to deny
    We love them to death
    With each living breath
    But we’re happy to now say “Good Bye”

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: please note: above limericks:
    the 50’s 60’s 70’s and 80’s are all part of the words in line one
    as to stay in the correct meter.
    The only one that is not is “the( 90’s) which I should have put in
    parenthesis, to make it clear that it was separate from the meter
    of line one. Could you put it in parenthesis for me?
    The first LINE of the “90’s” should read: Those stupid bandannas are out
    as to stay in meter
    Thank you…..Lisi

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad (sorry) This limerick had been messed up by “The 90’s”
    It should read:”The 90’s bandannas are out”
    Then the entire poem will be unified and meter-correct.
    Can you change “The 90’s” to read that way.

    Thank you again
    Lisi

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    We went to the Liberty Bell
    I thought the vacation was swell
    But my wife is a wack
    And when noticed the crack
    Tried to fix it with manicure gel

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    Revised Poem:” PUNISHMENT THROUGHOUT THE DECADES”

    The FIFTIES! (“You can’t watch T.V.!”)
    And no supper! (my final decree!)
    “It’s homework tonight!
    You MUST do things right
    And listen to mommy and me!”

    The SIXTIES! (“You must not PROTEST!”)
    We parents all know what is best
    Now go to your room
    It’s enough doom and gloom
    When you come out, be PROPERLY dressed!”

    The SEVENTIES! (“Music’s too LOUD!”)
    “Stay away from that real filthy crowd!”
    “You simply must know
    How to properly grow
    So that mommy and dad will feel proud!”

    The EIGHTIES!(“No Nike’s for you!)
    “You must wear a regular shoe!”
    “You just need to learn
    Things for which you will yearn
    May be dreams and just might not come true!”

    The NINETIES!(Bandannas are OUT!”)
    “What the damn hell are THEY all about?”
    “Your hair is so pretty
    Those scarves look real shitty
    “There are styles that you’ll just live without!”

    Those decades, (oh how they did fly!)
    But the things that we had to deny
    You, made you so strong
    You learned right from wrong
    (Yet it’s still hard when we say “Good bye”)

  60. Tony Holmes says:

    Make Mine A Double

    On the good days I’m sound as a bell;
    On some others, I don’t do so well.
    But I’m worst, I’ll be bound,
    On the days that confound,
    When I’m really too far gone to tell.

  61. Tony Holmes says:

    Oh, how my glands start to swell
    When I think of the night I met Belle.
    She was coy, I had gold;
    She took charge, I got rolled –
    And ‘twas I spent the night in a cell!

  62. Dave Johnson says:

    (With a nod to Mark Westin’s limerick)

    Way back in the days of Ma Bell,
    There was only one system to sell.
    We’d talk night and day
    In the old-fashioned way;
    On phones that were dumber than hell.

  63. Tony Holmes says:

    She was billed as ‘Mysterious Belle’
    And I’m told I fell under her spell.
    Quite what happened is hid,
    As whatever I did,
    Made my friends too embarrassed to tell.

  64. Tony Holmes says:

    Improvement on previous.

    When I ponder the night I met Belle
    All the veins in my neck start to swell.
    She was coy, I had gold;
    She took charge, I got rolled –
    But ‘twas ME spent the night in a cell!

  65. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a fellow named Mel
    Whose date was proceeding quite well
    He was baring it all
    With the belle of the ball –
    Then he saw the two balls of the belle.

  66. Lisi Nortman says:

    DO THE CRIME, PAY THE TIME

    Some think it was fair, I suppose
    They say, “That’s how sometimes life goes”
    Dad had to serve time
    Was it really a crime?
    Ten damn years for just stealing my nose!

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punishment:

    If you get paid “under the table”
    You might get the chance to be able
    To get slammed in the pen
    Meet some other nice men
    And those places now all have cable

  68. David Reddekopp says:

    Should I PUNt this one?

    As a PUNster, I stick to my guns
    They are PUNchy, and yes, I have tons.
    Though I find them quite fun-ish,
    Some PUNks would just PUNish.
    Those PUNdits say “PUNgent, his PUNs.”

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    We play Bingo each week, (really swell)
    But last night we were angry as hell
    Peg said, she’d “B-2”
    And it just wasn’t true!
    She cheated. It’s time to rebel

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the sound of the old “Clinker Bell”
    The inmates may jog at “The Dell”
    But one day they were shocked
    Cause the gate wasn’t locked
    And all bolted like bats out of hell

  71. Tony Holmes says:

    On the good days I’m sound as a bell;
    On some others, I’m doing less well.
    But the days that confound,
    And the worst, I’ll be bound,
    Are the ones when I can’t even tell.

    Aging pugilist Kensington Knell
    Would lash out at the sound of a bell.
    He would swing left and right
    Till he ran out of fight,
    Or police squeezed him into a cell.

  72. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Sunday that old “grammie” fell
    She’d forgotten to put on her “bell”
    But Bubby was spunky
    And totally funky
    (Later found, at the No Tell Motel)

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION:( in caps)

    At the sound of the old “Clinker Bell”
    The inmates COULD jog at “The Dell”
    But one day they were shocked
    Cause the gate wasn’t locked
    And THEY bolted like bats out of hell

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION (IN CAPS)

    If you get paid “under the table”
    You might get a chance AND be able
    To get slammed in the pen
    Meet some other COOL men
    And those places now all have cable

  75. Lisi Nortman says:

    Quasimodo was not feeling well
    His life was a real living hell
    The day it was rainy
    He spotted Lon Chaney
    And gave him that big fuckin’ bell

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Oh Mary, just look at my bell
    When it rings, I will really feel swell”
    What he said, fine’ly clicked
    In the balls he got kicked
    And for that I deserve the Nobel

  77. Lisi Nortman says:

    She said all her friends have a cell
    And some with a “really cool” bell
    Upon her request
    We bought her the “best”
    (Nothing less for our dachshund Michelle)

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    Lesson “A” for the “punish beginner”
    Dear parents, this one’s a sure winner:
    She’ll be a complete wreck
    If you go and check
    Her voice mails while she’s eating dinner

  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    “I’m fifty today, Darling Belle
    Yet I really look young, can’t you tell?
    I want all meals in bed
    And some very good head”
    “Whatever you say, Love, (like hell”)

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    The vet said to just “ring a bell”
    “He’ll stop barking; it works very well”
    But our dog’s so brain-dead
    That he went right ahead
    To the Mass at our church:Mount Carmel

  81. Tony Holmes says:

    Life On The Wild Side

    One is never too old to rebel,
    Or resist those so eager to quell.
    Don’t be sheep and P C!
    Loose your bonds and be free!
    And when asked why you did it, don’t tell!

  82. Tony Holmes says:

    L O T W S 2

    Is one ever too old to rebel?
    To risk long, lonely nights in a cell?
    For myself, if it’s just,
    I think, “Sod it, I must!”
    And revisit my youth for a spell.

  83. Lisi Nortman says:

    okay, some people really believe this exists (go figure)

    We heard a mysterious bell
    And it just put us under a “spell”
    My friend said, “TURN BACK!
    We are under ATTACK!
    It’s the sound of the “Toll Booth From Hell!”

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    I asked my friend, Dummy La Belle
    If she heard about “Tyrone The Swell”
    She said, “Oh tell me more
    Cause I just wanna’ “score”
    “Does it come in a cream or a gel?”

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    THE PUNISHMENT SHOULD FIT THE CRIME

    “God damnit! You smell like a skunk!”
    Get out and just sit in your trunk”
    “By the way, my dumb friend
    This abuse will not end
    Your license plate now will read “DRUNK”

  86. Tony Holmes says:

    “Aren’t we getting too old to rebel?”
    ‘I can’t say, Judge; too early to tell.’
    “Yes, I see: I suggest
    That we make you our guest;
    Come and spend a few nights in our cell.”

  87. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s a legend about William Tell
    A man who did surely rebel
    Although he did grapple
    He did shoot the apple
    Then bid the mean tyrant farewell

  88. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s a legend about a hotel
    That whenever the clerk rings his bell
    A ghost will appear
    Do you believe that my dear?
    If so, I’ve a neat bridge to sell

  89. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION “WILLIAM TELL” (too many “did” in previous limerick)

    There’s a legend about William Tell
    A man who was ONE to rebel
    Although he did grapple
    He SHOT the “famed” apple
    Then bid the mean tyrant farewell

  90. Tony Holmes says:

    In a world that is all gone to hell,
    Duty calls us: “Resist and rebel!”
    First, the P C Brigade
    Should be flogged, and then flayed –
    Oh, and throw in the lawyers, as well.
    (Sorry, Mad.)

  91. Tony Holmes says:

    Slightly improved.

    Aging pugilist Kensington Knell
    Would lash out at the sound of a bell.
    He would swing left and right
    Till he ran out of fight,
    Or the cops squeezed him into a cell.

  92. Tony Holmes says:

    In a world that is all gone to hell,
    Duty calls us: “Resist and rebel!”
    First, the P C Brigade
    Should be flogged, and then flayed –
    Ooh, and throw in the lawyers, as well.

    ‘O’ for enthusiasm.

  93. Tony Holmes says:

    and emphasis.

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION LINE 1 and 4 in “hotel ghost limerick”

    There’s a legend about this hotel
    That whenever the clerk rings his bell
    A ghost will appear
    You believe that, my dear?
    If so, I’ve a neat bridge to sell

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the fifties, our parents would hope
    If we did something wrong they could cope
    Yet, if we should curse
    There was just nothing worse
    And you got your mouth washed out with soap

    (punishment)

  96. Lisi Nortman says:

    1960’s punishment

    The Beatles, you’ll just do without!
    You’re forbidden to twist or to shout
    You say “love in’s” are cool
    Do you think I’m a fool?
    Now go to your room and just pout!

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    PUNISHMENT PART 2

    In the fifties, our parents would hope
    If you did something wrong, they would cope
    But if you should curse
    There was just nothing worse
    And you got your mouth washed out with soap

    The sixties! Those Beatles are out!
    You’re forbidden to twist or to shout
    You say “Love In’s “are cool
    Do you think I’m a fool?
    Now go to your room and just pout

    I really can’t stand Donna Summer
    Her voice is just really a bummer
    Turn that “Record” right off
    That weird gal makes me scoff
    And DISCO? (Now what could be dumber?)

    Your hair is so big! Where’s your face?
    How’s your life there in old outer space?
    Now comb it again
    And I’ll tell you when
    You don’t look like such a disgrace!

    Oh PLEASE! will you stop watching “Friends”!!
    It seems like that show never ends!
    Now go watch PBS
    So you’ll be a success
    You do not have to follow those trends!

    2018!
    Those decades, (Oh how they did fly!)
    But the things which we had to deny
    You, made you so strong
    Now you know right from wrong
    (Yet it’s still hard when we say “Good bye”)

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION above limerick poem TRULY instead of REALLY,( verse three)

    I really can’t stand Donna Summer
    Her voice is just TRULY a bummer
    Turn that “record” right off
    That weird gal makes me scoff
    And DISCO? (Now what could be dumber?)

  99. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ten items at checkout? Oh hell!
    I’ve eleven, but no one can tell
    I must buy that treat
    Or my doggie won’t eat
    (And what a cool way to rebel)

  100. Lisi Nortman says:

    Those “After Eight” candies looked swell
    And what a delectable smell!
    It was just quarter to
    What I tell you is true
    I ate one. (just had to rebel)

  101. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the sixties, my mother could tell
    When my clothes didn’t match, (she would yell)
    Then sick of her gripes
    I wore plaid joined with stripes
    I really just had to rebel

  102. Dave Johnson says:

    If somebody wants to rebel,
    They can start by removing their cell
    From its usual place
    In front of their face;
    There’s coffee and roses to smell.

  103. There once was a great southern belle
    who thought life in France would be swell.
    Now her head’s in the oven–
    She’s now dime-a-dozen!
    The French language mad her life hell.

  104. Dave Johnson says:

    This fellow keeps ringing our bell;
    Apparently wanting to sell
    Religious advice
    Or some worthless device.
    No wait – G.O.P.? GO TO HELL!!

  105. Jean McEwen says:

    If your bowels are backed up, Taco Bell
    Bean burritos can help you expel
    Both the shit from your ass
    And that foul-smelling gas
    After passing, you’ll surely feel swell!

  106. Jean McEwen says:

    You’ve committed a terrible crime
    But you don’t want to serve lots of time.
    Disinclined to repentance?
    Then ponder this sentence:
    Old Sparky. It’s truly sublime!

  107. Lisi Nortman says:

    There are so many ways to rebel
    If strange perfume, on him, you do smell
    You can make it real clear:
    “I’ve a headache, my dear”
    Or just shove him right into a well

  108. Lisi Nortman says:

    I needed a way to rebel
    Cause my “teach” said I just couldn’t spell
    I’m not that damn bad
    And I guess she was glad
    When I bid her a nasty feerwell

  109. Lisi Nortman says:

    Here’s a really cool way to rebel
    If typing is boring as hell
    When your “teach” comes to look
    She be totally shook
    Cause she’ll see you’ve typed LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
    LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  110. Lisi Nortman says:

    Right here at my laptop I sit
    And note Facebook “reminders” don’t quit!
    If you need to rebel
    In their “comments” just tell:
    “It’s you birthday!! I don’t give a shit!”

  111. Lisi Nortman says:

    We seniors all dance the “cool jive”
    It makes us just feel so alive!
    And we also rebel
    But (SHH) Please don’t tell:
    We get “Early Bird” (minute past five)

  112. And now, for his manifold sins,
    Trump’s punishment truly begins:
    His dreadful remarks
    Got the man who hates sharks
    In hot water, surrounded by Fin(n)s.

  113. Poor Billy. He fell for the spell
    Of the belle of the ball. All was well,
    ‘Til he swung her, and tripped
    At the moment they dipped,
    And we all heard the bawl of the belle.

  114. 7/17/2018

    From the depths of Political Hell
    Came the sharp, metaphorical yell
    Of a crotch-grabbing schmuck
    With his short fingers stuck
    In the crack of the Liberty Bell.

  115. Here’s one that’s both Bell and Punishment:

    INFERNO 2: ELECTORAL BOOGALOO

    “‘A special place waiting in Hell…’;
    Say, Don, do those words ring a bell?”
    Said the Demon, “I know
    You meant Justin Trudeau,
    But it’s your situation as well:

    Know the very last floor of this dump,
    Where Lord Lucifer sits on his rump
    To eternally munch
    Three vile traitors for lunch?
    Make that four. Welcome home, Mr. Trump.”

  116. Lisi Nortman says:

    Parents: We’ve all been there!

    Dear God, please just grant me this wish
    (It’s not that I don’t love sweet Trish)
    Will this punishment end?
    I just can’t pretend
    That I really like playing “Go Fish”

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    punish him “good”

    You’ve got to have ultimate power
    For this is your big shining hour
    You caught him last night
    With his “lovely delight”
    Now flush when he’s taking a shower

  118. Lisi Nortman says:

    Your cursing has just gone too far!
    (By the way, it’s ONE MONTH: NO GUITAR!)
    We’re not finished yet
    (So you’ll never forget)
    Here’s a toothbrush, now go wash the car

  119. Tim James says:

    A woman was hotter than hell,
    But she couldn’t do math very well.
    “Four plus four’s forty-four.
    Maybe less? Maybe more?”
    She’s well-known as a true ding-dong belle.

  120. Lisi Nortman says:

    “WELCOME!”

    “You will find that you do very well
    When finished, each slut rings a bell
    All the girls have one job
    Which willl make your heart throb
    We call it the “Hooker Cartel”

  121. Lisi Nortman says:

    I did not hear my real freaky bell
    Oh No! Where’s my best buddy, “Cell?”
    The time? I don’t know!
    I’ll be late for the show!
    I’m imprisoned in “DIGITAL HELL!!”

  122. Lisi Nortman says:

    ANOTHER VERSION OF “WELCOME”

    You will find that you do very well
    When finished, each slut rings a bell
    All the girls have one job
    Just to please every SLOB
    We call it the “Hooker Cartel”

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