Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WEAK or WEEK at the end of any one line

SCHEDULING NOTE: There’s a slight chance that the next (late June) Limerick-Off) might be delayed. If so, I’ll update the title of this post. As for why, my sample limerick below explains all.

And now, it’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WEAK or WEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VISION or EYES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best vision/eye-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 24, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 23, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

My first cataract op is this week.
(It appears that my eyes are antique.)
If it all goes sublimely,
My posts will be timely.
If not, I shall shriek a blue streak.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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130 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WEAK or WEEK at the end of any one line”

  1. Sharon Neeman says:

    He’s the Rump; he’s the Chump; he’s the Fool;
    He’s the “wart on” the famed Wharton School;
    From his pocked orange beak
    To his brain soft and weak,
    He’s the very Commander of Drool.

  2. Sharon Neeman says:

    There’s not a thing wrong with my eyes!
    But the newspaper font’s gone half-size,
    And my glasses and keys
    Disappear with great ease
    Till I find them again by surprise.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    My joints are beginning to creak,
    And my legs are increasingly weak.
    But although I am slowing,
    My value is growing;
    I’ll soon be a priceless antique.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    My vision is still pretty hot,
    And I don’t use my glasses a lot,
    Though I put on my specs
    When indulging in sex
    To ensure that I find the right spot.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    G7 summit ends in disarray

    “That Trudeau’s dishonest and weak!
    The guy seemed so mild and meek,
    But after I’d gone,
    His badmouthing went on!”
    Donald screamed in a new fit of pique.

  6. Lisi Nortman says:

    Vision

    I’ve always loved music, that’s true
    But can’t read those notes, so I’m through!
    I wanted to play
    Like the “greats” of their day:
    Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, “Moondog” too

  7. Patrice Stewart says:

    It seems that my eyesight’s grown weak,
    Brought home last night: I gave a squeak
    When my cat watched a spider
    Pause crawling, beside her.
    Large lint? No. She crunched it down: eek.

  8. Patrice Stewart says:

    Oh, Leigh babe, you make my bones weak;
    He smiled, gave one nipple a tweak.
    Though Vera is very
    Good, Mona and Sherry,
    You rock me. Same time, then, next week?

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    I wanted to reach my full peak
    Then I read in my, “Hunk Of The Week”:
    Take garlic and bay
    Rub three times a day
    I still can’t find a date, cause I reek

  10. Patrice Stewart says:

    Young Tom was a bit of a sneak
    And couldn’t resist a quick peek
    Through the bedroom keyhole.
    Daddy took out his pole…
    Fishing. Where is he going this week?

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    Am I being duped? (vision)

    I must take some serious action
    I still haven’t reached satisfaction
    Blue Cross wipes me out
    But I really have doubt
    Why I STILL have to pay for refraction

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m so proud, cause it’s been one whole week
    No more diapers, or God-awful reek
    But I then heard a splash
    So we made a mad dash
    To the bathroom (he done sprung a leak)

  13. Patrice Stewart says:

    When Court Falls Short of Expectations

    You’re here due to your poor decision,
    The judge snorted in wry derision.
    You unzipped in the pew,
    Stood, yelled,”Miss this yet, Lew?”
    Your act is one I can envision.

    At least it’s less common and boring
    (Some days, I confess, I’m caught snoring).
    So…the crowd gasped, then squinted:
    All witnesses hinted
    They found your behavior deploring

    Yet, oddly, stared in your direction,
    Reporting they failed at detection
    Of what you had brandished.
    Meanwhile, Father vanished –
    Some said, to prepare for ejection
    (While others urged lethal injection).

    It could be said your error’s tiny;
    You strike me as clueless and whiny.
    Although Lou resigned,
    This court’s sure you’ll find
    A new partner who dotes on your heinie.

  14. Patrice Stewart says:

    Darn it, Mad, last line in Par. 2 should have ended with “deplorable”.

    Can you change that last line to “Your question sent blood pressure soaring”? Thanks very much!

    Patrice ~

  15. Patrice Stewart says:

    Mad, another error: I apologize. Last paragraph, please change Lou to Lew to match first paragraph. Thanks again!! PS

    *****
    From Mad Kane:

    I’m confused by your requests. Please re-post your limerick and mark it “Revised Limerick.”

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    “Fake news!” Donald whines every week.
    Inarticulacy at its peak?
    Though he mumbles and lies,
    Don’t award him the prize
    Till you’ve heard Sarah Huckabee speak.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the Koch Bros “Our reasons for buyin’
    That congressman, name of Paul Ryan?
    He’s the kind that we seek,
    ’Cause his intellect’s weak,
    And his greed is as solid as iron.”

  18. Lisi Nortman says:

    Here’s the “know-how” of “Let’s Cook This Week”
    Listen close to my fool-proof technique:
    For vichyssoise soup
    Just keep in the loop
    And remember you must take a leek

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    Poor Melania! Week after week
    She must live with his putrid physique,
    An obscene, flabby belly
    That quivers like jelly …
    No wonder she can’t bear to peek.

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    A yellow toupée, far from sleek,
    A chin that, though triple, is weak
    An ego as big
    As a wallowing pig,
    But a brain like a pip with no squeak.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    The mohel performed with precision,
    But how could the poor chap envision
    Trump’s dick was his head?
    Well, he cut that instead,
    And the world said, “A great circumcision!”

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    Mad, I’ve only just read your own limerick.

    Best wishes, too brief for a lim:
    May your eyes, like your wit, never dim.

  23. madkane says:

    Thanks so much Brian for your kind couplet!

  24. Tanja Cilia says:

    So Friday’s the end of the week
    In the sea is the solace I seek
    Taking deep breaths I dive
    It feels good, I’m alive…
    ‘Cos sea urchins are not for the weak

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    My blind lover, I met in “Paree”
    He’s vivacious and full of esprit
    But I’m ninety years old
    And the truth must be told:
    He’s “just right” (I ain’t nothin’ to see)

  26. Judith H Block says:

    I’m so baffled, I really can’t see,
    How some folks are conned to this degree.
    They believe the lies,
    Not their “lying eyes”,
    As the government steals with such glee.

  27. Judith H Block says:

    When we’re older, we need stronger glasses,
    We’re like straw, no longer lush grasses.
    Our bodies may betray,
    But our principles stay.
    Despite all the loss and impasses.

  28. Judith H Block says:

    He can’t stand and mocks folks he deems weak;
    Trump’s pompous with such a cruel streak.
    He doesn’t have a clue,
    How to speak, what to do,
    Our future quite truly looks bleak.

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    (These things can kill you; I’ve tried)

    Those trifocals just can’t be beat
    Be careful; don’t look at your feet
    Just take it real slow
    Cause what you don’t know
    Is you’re on the wrong side of the street

  30. David Reddekopp says:

    I may have the answers you seek
    How these two kinds of sex are unique.
    So here is the moral:
    Your day’s made with oral
    But anal will make your hole weak.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    The good news and the bad news:

    With glasses you have a rare power
    You can spot every bit of a flower
    It’s so crystal-clear
    That you grin ear-to-ear
    But have you tried taking a shower?

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m a senior so here’s my decision
    Don’t tease me or mock with derision
    I’ve a bad wrinkled face
    Which is such a disgrace
    That I’ll only date men with bad vision

  33. Lisi Nortman says:

    He said, “Let’s have sex twice a week
    I really feel I’m at my peak”
    Sixty years have gone by
    He’s still my “one”guy
    Every Christmas, he kisses my cheek

  34. Ken Gosse says:

    Snip, Snip Here ~
    A weakness of vision belies
    My antiquity. That’s no surprise.
    A doctor’s incision
    Improved their precision
    (Not guaranteed til my demise).

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    When something’s not right, you might cry
    But others still give it a try
    When “Sammy” would dance
    We all had a chance
    To watch brilliance at work with one eye

  36. The summit already looked bleak
    with Trump’s sole demand to be weak.
    When Trueau showed class
    and wouldn’t kiss ass,
    they cried “Go to Hell!” What a week!

  37. Brian Allgar says:

    Donald’s parrot was learning to speak,
    But it said the wrong things through its beak:
    “No, the news isn’t fake!”
    So they’re going to bake
    Parrot pie at the end of the week.

  38. Brian Allgar says:

    A hooker called “Miss Angelique”
    Found that even her spendid technique
    Wasn’t working upon
    “Mr Fortnight”, her john –
    She calls him that, ’cause he’s too weak.

  39. Lisi Nortman says:

    Don’t drink coffee when you’re in the car
    You just will not know where you are
    When you glasses steam up
    And you then drop your cup
    You certainly won’t get real far

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    I bought some new hair dye at “Chic”
    I thought I’d apply it next week
    Going home in the car
    The dog ate the jar
    You should see her new lovely blonde streak

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    He held up some letters to view
    Then said, “Try to read just a few”
    I looked up and down
    And replied with a frown:
    “Sorry, Doc, I can’t even see YOU”

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    The eye doctor finally met ‘er
    And certainly wanted to get ‘er
    So now in her bed
    She assertively said:
    Stop asking me “Which way is better”

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: (sorry to bother you)
    The above limerick, line five is incorrect.
    It should read “Stop asking me “Which way is better?”
    The word “PLEASE” should not be there.
    Could you please delete it for me?
    Thank You

    ***
    done

  44. Mark Kane says:

    Her body is not for the meek.
    One look and she turns strong men weak.
    But she’s hardly a prude;
    She swims in the nude
    And smiles as the men sneak a peek.

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the park in the shade, just last week
    I came upon something unique:
    A man with three heads
    Who was wearing nice threads
    Each one had a real weird mystique

  46. Mike Moulton says:

    Trump while appearing quite meek
    Told our allies that he wasn’t weak
    And he showed little class
    When he kissed Putin’s ass
    And his tongue was not in his cheek.

  47. Mike Moulton says:

    updated version

    Trump at the summit last week
    Told our allies that he wasn’t weak
    But he showed little class
    When he kissed Putin’s ass
    And his tongue was not in his cheek.

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    I thought I wrote something unique
    By using a brand new technique
    A lim’rik so great
    Just really first rate
    But the punch line was just too darn weak

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    I came home a bit late, so ashamed
    But really I could not be blamed
    The wait time for glasses
    Was slow as molasses
    I guess you could say I was framed

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    I saw Fred Astaire just last week
    I was shocked, cause he looked so darn bleak
    I asked, “Where is that SMILE?”
    You’ve got fabulous STYLE !!
    Cheer up, Babe, let’s dance cheek to cheek!”

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    I did something real cool last week:
    I opened a special boutique
    Called “Rare Aberrations
    For Nasty Sensations”
    (Someone came in and asked for a “freak”)

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    correction of above limerick

    I did something real cool last week
    AND opened a special boutique
    Called “Rare Aberrations
    For Nasty Sensations”
    (Someone came in and asked for a “freak”)

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    I can’t afford glasses and so
    I went to the “Broken Specs Show”
    There was something right near
    That fit only one ear
    They said it belonged to van Gogh

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m annoyed at my dense husband, Fred
    Who at times, will act just like he’s dead
    He won’t help clean the house
    He a shiftless ‘ole spouse
    And I think that his “lazy eye’s” spread

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Oh Jim, I met Mary last week
    She’s quiet and gentle, (so meek)
    She heard Mom had a ring
    That was “fit for a king”
    “Hey Mike, she ain’t meek—she’s a sneak”

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    We all just go on week to week
    “Way back when” we old gals reached our peak
    But we are tenacious
    Yet always so gracious
    And still think of ourselves as real “chic”

  57. Brian Allgar says:

    George Washington told them his vision:
    “By the voters’ appalling decision,
    A dictator rules,
    Surrounded by fools …”
    “Couldn’t happen!” they laughed with derision.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    Dear Polly,

    Could you give us just one peaceful week?
    I’m so tired of hearing your shriek
    My ears are just ringing
    From you discordant singing
    (I would love to pull off your damn beak)

  59. Patrice Stewart says:

    Revised Limerick: Thanks, Mad!

    When Court Falls Short of Expectations

    You’re here due to your poor decision,
    The judge snorted in wry derision.
    You unzipped in the pew,
    Stood, yelled, ”Miss this yet, Lew?”
    Your act is one I can envision.

    (At least it’s less common, not boring:
    Some days, I confess, I’m caught snoring.)
    Those present gasped, squinted;
    All witnesses hinted
    Your question sent blood pressure soaring.

    Yet, most folks stared in your direction,
    Reporting they failed at detection
    Of what you had brandished.
    Meanwhile, Father vanished –
    Some thought, to await his ejection
    (While others urged lethal injection).

    No sentence, your error is tiny;
    Lew’s well shut of you: clueless, whiny.
    But because lust is blind,
    This court’s sure you’ll find
    A new partner who dotes on your heinie.

  60. Patrice Stewart says:

    They finished: he, feverish, weak,
    Urged on by her satisfied squeak.
    Ran him ragged all night.
    Came the bright morning light,
    Him at work: ached to leak, less than peak
    (And he’ll go back for more the next week).

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    I bought lipstick at “Joli Boutique”
    The salesman had quite a physique
    I tried to act cool
    And said, like a fool:
    “Can you help with this? I’m a bit weak”

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    The nuns had a meeting last week
    The topic was, “How to be Meek”
    But right in the park
    Was a man who was “stark”
    And they just had to take a sneak peek

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s no one who reaches perfection
    As seniors, we need God’s protection
    When the eye sight goes bad
    In truth we are glad
    We can’t see our own true reflection

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    correction of line 5

    I bought lipstick at “Joli Boutique”
    The salesman had quite a physique
    I tried to act cool
    And said like a fool:
    Can you carry this, please? I’m real weak.

  65. Tim James says:

    There’s a myth that my mom used to tell:
    “Self-abuse” shoots your eyesight to hell
    Quite inexorably.
    But that’s bunk. I can see
    Ev’ry hair on my palms very well.

  66. Jean McEwen says:

    Visine never works, ‘cause I blink,
    And the drops just land right in the sink.
    Down my cheeks the tears roll
    I’ve got zero control;
    So my eyes remain itchy and pink.

  67. Jean McEwen says:

    Ten pull-ups? No way—I’m too weak.
    At sixty, I’m kind of antique.
    You want to see “grim?”
    Come with me to the gym!
    The spectacle’s laughably bleak.

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    I had to say, “Bye” and “Farewell”
    To my eye doctor, Sidney Seewell
    Cause he thought he was funny
    Or should I say, “punny”
    And his jokes were are corneas hell

  69. Edmund Conti says:

    It’s true even now as I speak—
    The lim’rick’s no place for the meek.
    You have to be strong
    As the hours get long.
    Seven days of this stuff makes one weak.

  70. Edmund Conti says:

    Imagine (you can!) my surprise
    When did it on only two tries.
    Fixed each cataract
    Yes he did! That’s a fact.
    And he did it by dotting my eyes.

  71. Lisi Nortman says:

    We had triplets, (It felt really nice)
    But they just would not take our advice!
    We said, “Get you eyes checked;
    They do not look correct”
    They REFUSED!! (Now we’ve got three blind mice)

  72. Fred Bortz says:

    Manafort’s going to jail.
    The Feds are revoking his bail.
    His will was too weak.
    He decided to sneak
    And to speak to a witness–BIG FAIL!!

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the doctor’s, I met my friend, “Di”
    (Her brain power isn’t too high)
    The next day, she was glad
    Cause she came to my pad
    With mascara to match my pink eye

  74. Fred Bortz says:

    The surgeon believed it was wise
    To operate on his own eyes.
    His team expressed doubt
    When the scalpel came out.
    “Suture self!” were his colleagues’ replies.

  75. Dave Johnson says:

    Snow White wore a billowy dress;
    The dwarfs numbered seven, no less.
    Whenever they tried
    To peek up inside,
    Just Sneezy was easy to guess.

  76. Edmund Conti says:

    A common cartoonist technique
    Is drawing a mouse. You scream “eek!”
    And jump on a chair
    Conveniently there.
    Last panel is typically weak.

  77. Edmund Conti says:

    If you have a stomach that’s weak
    Do not dine on bubble and squeak.
    Avoid food that’s British
    And you won’t get skittish.
    An example of Realpolitik.

  78. Edmund Conti says:

    If you have a stomach that’s weak
    Do not dine on bubble and squeak.
    Avoid food that’s British
    And you won’t get skittish.
    An example of Realpolitik.

  79. Dave Johnson says:

    “Our allies are wimpy and weak;
    It’s mean, little tough guys I seek.
    Like Putin and Kim,
    With them I can swim.”
    While leaving a big, slimy streak…

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    At my age, there’s not much to see
    And my lady friends all do agree
    The men look so shaggy
    Their clothes are real baggy
    I’ll stay home and watch blurry T.V.

  81. Lisi Nortman says:

    minor correction

    At my age there’s not much to see
    And my lady friends all do agree
    The men look so shaggy
    Their clothes are real baggy
    I stay home and watch blurry T.V.

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    We play Bingo on Saturday night
    God knows why, we all have such bad sight
    The numbers, not clear
    We also can’t hear
    So we come for the free Diet Sprite

  83. Lisi Nortman says:

    We just love that new “audio book”
    You can “read” but do not have to look
    The problem then lies
    Not just with our eyes
    But those words sound like gobbledgook

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    another minor adjustment

    We just love that new “audio book”
    You can “read” but do not have to look
    The problem then lies
    Not just with our eyes:
    Those darn words sound like gobbledgook

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    My hearing is getting real weak
    It feels like the future is bleak
    My good friend, Sophia
    Said, “Let’s go see “Medea”
    But to me, it all sounded like Greek

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE

    We play Bingo EACH Saturday night
    God knows why, we all have such bad sight
    The numbers: not clear
    We also can’t hear
    So we come for the free Diet Sprite

  87. Lisi Nortman says:

    VISION THEME

    Obscene phone calls are targeting me
    Then I answer but do not foresee:
    Those real nasty words
    Which are spoken by “turds”
    Cause I can’t read my “caller I.D.”

  88. Brian Allgar says:

    The pound is increasingly weak,
    And the outcome for Brexit is bleak.
    “I shall do it MY way!”
    Insists Mrs May,
    Which is why Britain’s right up the creek.

  89. Brian Allgar says:

    OTT … I hope

    Our new concentration camps – great!
    But they’re getting so crowded … oh, wait;
    Those fossil fuel guys
    Have got huge gas supplies.
    Here’s my vision: we’ll just fumigate.

  90. Brian Allgar says:

    Them dissenters – now, how can I mute ‘em?
    I haven’t the brains to refute ’em.
    I asked Kim last week
    How to deal with this clique.
    “No problem,” he said, “Execute ’em.”

  91. Brian Allgar says:

    “What a vision! Oh, what a delight!”
    Said the hooker to Donald that night
    As he grunted with lust …
    She threw up in disgust
    Once the moron had gone out of sight.

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    We seniors go on week to week
    And truthfully, here’s what we seek:
    It’s something real great
    Which we can’t overstate
    Not to get up all night for a leak

  93. Tim James says:

    A gal with an awesome physique
    And a smile that’s sublime and unique
    Fills my every need
    With both ardor and speed.
    (It’s my third trip to Hooters this week.)

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    “My sweet darling lover, Monique
    Let us take a vacation this week
    We’ll take a big boat
    Find a place that’s remote
    To assure I won’t be up the creek”

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    “EYES” THEME:

    Every week I get these God damn styes
    Then I go to the “doc” cause I’m wise
    When I’m called to her room
    I say, “Va va va VOOM”
    Cause she’s truly a sight for sore eyes

  96. Lisi Nortman says:

    BETTER VERSION OF “EYES” THEME

    Every week, when I get these damn styes
    I go to the “doc” cause I’m wise
    When called to her room
    I say “Va va va Voom”
    (She is truly a sight for sore eyes)

  97. Brian Allgar says:

    A vision from Hell

    Since Putin goes riding half-dressed
    To show off his muscular chest,
    Donald thought he would do it,
    But Pruitt said “Screw it!
    You’d look like you wear a ‘Mae West’!”

    (… if anyone still knows what they were)

    Mae West

  98. Brian Allgar says:

    “You claim to be Christian? Come, come”,
    Said his pastor. “They say that you’re dumb?
    Be a man, don’t be weak,
    Learn to turn th’other cheek.”
    So Donald exposed his whole bum.

  99. Val Fish says:

    Mesmerised, unable to speak
    I’m feeling decidedly weak
    Glued to the telly
    Legs turned to jelly
    At the sight of Poldark’s physique

  100. Perry Plouff says:

    Well, my poetic skills remain weak,
    Although each essay gets a big tweak
    As I try to align
    Every meter and rhyme.
    Still, the best only rise to “unique.”

  101. P Diane Schneider says:

    I put on an act as a freak
    If needed I’ll break some guy’s beak
    But my charms are ample
    Want to see a sample?
    Oh nobody dares call me “weak”

  102. Lisi Nortman says:

    I just saw my dear “Nana”last week
    And she gave me a real cool antique
    It’s called “rotary” phone
    (With a really weird tone)
    And this GIANT receiver, to speak

  103. Lisi Nortman says:

    My eyes are just getting so weak
    (So I thought I was being real “chic”)
    And throw coins in a stream
    Oh WOW! did I scream!
    At the man right there taking a leak

  104. Lisi Nortman says:

    My eye “doc” has one special chart
    For patients who aren’t real smart
    I could not read one letter
    It really upset ‘er
    She told me, “Go home, you old fart”

  105. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ray Charles was so grand, (what a prize)
    George Shearing, a genius, (so wise)
    Stevie Wonder’s amazing
    We never stop praising
    These phenomenal men with “no eyes”

  106. Mark Kane says:

    When we met it was love at first sight,
    Then we blindly pursued each delight.
    But since Mad’s “Eye Surgery,”
    Some call it perjury
    When she STILL swears I’m cute. That’s my plight.

    *** This limerick should serve as a cautionary warning. If you’re smart you’ll never consider using a word like SURGERY as the LAST WORD for any line.

    Why? Because not much rhymes with surgery, but being the stubborn bastard that I am, I was determined to make this one work.

  107. Mark Kane says:

    Some women pretend to be weak;
    While dating, they’re mild, shy and meek.
    But once the deal’s sealed,
    Then all is revealed
    As he learns of her mean nasty streak.

  108. Lisi Nortman says:

    ONE WORD CHANGE, LINE FIVE

    Ray Charles was so grand, (what a prize)
    George Shearing, a genius, (so wise)
    Stevie Wonder’s amazing
    We never stop praising
    These phenomenal STARS with “no eyes”

  109. Dave Johnson says:

    We purchased a brand new TV
    That won’t let us hear what we see.
    With minuscule speakers,
    The voices are squeakers
    And bass has the buzz of a bee.

    A sound bar, our rep did propose;
    Her store offered plenty of those.
    But some of us rubes
    Like adjustable cubes;
    Still stuck in the past, I sub-Bose.

  110. P Diane Schneider says:

    My eyesight had never been keen
    Thick lenses since I was a teen
    I suffered a tear
    But now I don’t care
    With surgeries all can be seen!

  111. Lisi Nortman says:

    When my make up’s applied, I get praise
    For my beauty, I try different ways
    But now with these specs
    I can see the effects
    Of a face that has seen better days

  112. Lisi Nortman says:

    My boyfriend said, “I’m a real hunk,
    Cause I have really sizable junk”
    But now with these specs
    Every time we have sex
    I can “see” that was full-of -shit bunk

  113. Lisi Nortman says:

    EYES THEME

    This chick doesn’t know that I’m wise
    But yet, she repeatedly tries
    To con me for money
    And says she’s my “honey”
    (I can see through her big “lyin’ eyes”)

  114. Lisi Nortman says:

    EYES THEME
    correction of line four: NOT “she’s my” but” I’M HER”

    This chick doesn’t know that I’m wise
    But yet, she repeatedly tries
    To con me for money
    And says, I’M HER “honey”
    (I can see through her big “lyin’ eyes”)

  115. Bob Dvorak says:

    My parrot has quite a sharp beak —
    I discovered, chagrined, late last week.
    As I do every night,
    Ran my street. In my flight,
    He taught me to dress, not to streak.

  116. Dave Johnson says:

    He sat on a boat in the bay
    And stared at his phone come what may.
    Whale watchers nearby
    Claim he never did spy
    That dorsal fin ten feet away.

    (Sadly, a true story)

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    All lim’riks require technique
    And they’re certainly not for the meek
    It’s “a-a-b-b-a”
    Simply, no other way
    I writing one. Come back next week.

  118. Lisi Nortman says:

    Now what is your secret technique
    For a lim’rik poem just so unique?
    “You must count every word
    Till the eye sight’s real blurred
    It’s correct, when you’re feeling real weak”

  119. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick. line three: should read
    You MUST count every word. Could you change that for me?
    Thank You
    Lisi

    *****

    Done.

  120. Lisi Nortman says:

    VISION THEME

    While driving to ‘Ole Kelly’s Bar
    I could only see things that were “far”
    And when they are close
    I just feel so morose
    So perhaps, I should get a new car

  121. Lisi Nortman says:

    My computer broke down just last week
    The technician had quite a physique
    So I got in the nude
    He was not the mood
    BAD LUCK! I had hots for a “geek”

  122. Lisi Nortman says:

    CORRECTION OF LINE FIVE
    NOT A DUPLICATE

    All lim’riks require technique
    And they’re certainly not for the meek
    It’s “a-a-b-b-a”
    Simply, no other way
    I’M writing one. Come back next week.

  123. Trupti Patel says:

    Ways of earning honest money I seek,
    My boss thinks I am too meek,
    For a job in sales,
    Where my lying fails,
    And I am looking forward to the end of the week!

  124. Lisi Nortman says:

    Our vision gets worse as we age
    Here’s the sign of the “number 10 stage”
    You have a bad fall
    Cause your head hit the wall
    Which concludes with a savage-like rage

  125. Lisi Nortman says:

    When his hair growth was getting too weak
    He went to the barber to seek:
    A guaranteed fix
    To attract all the chicks
    (But to me, my chihuahua’s still “chic”)

  126. Lisi Nortman says:

    Just stop being such a damn sneak
    Since you know that my vision’s gone weak
    I’ve seen that young dude
    And I think he’s quite lewd
    I’m old, Dear, but not an antique

  127. Ken Gosse says:

    Bidin’ Our Time ~
    I’m staying at Mom’s all this week
    To make sure that there’s someone to peek
    Every night and each day
    While my sister’s away;
    Ninety-nine next month—quite an antique!

  128. Ken Gosse says:

    Gagglers ~
    Sometimes people struggle with stragglers,
    Resulting in sordid bedragglers:
    Envision another’s
    Then bend to their d’ruthers—
    A verse with the curse of finaglers.

  129. Kirk Miller says:

    A heat wave descended this week.
    A nudist prevents burned physique.
    When he lies in the sun,
    To prevent red, burned bun,
    Remembers to turn other cheek.

  130. Kirk Miller says:

    An optometrist’s office implies
    It’s a place where a saying applies.
    If your vision is wrecked,
    You should go get it checked
    At a place that’s a site for sore eyes.

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