It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CALL at the end of ANY LINE. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANXIETY or THANKSGIVING using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present extra awards for the best ANXIETY and THANKSGIVING-related limericks.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 27, 2016 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 26, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman was having a ball
As she answered the Democrats’ call;
She was cleaning the clock
Of a fellow who’d mock
And impugn for no reason at all.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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124 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CALL. UPDATED WITH NEW DEADLINE AND TWO NEW LIMERICK OPTIONS.”

  1. Ken Gosse says:

    A Seasonal Limerick for this theme:
    The Call to Rattle ~
    The Grim Reaper once sat on a wall,
    And looked down as he counted who’d fall,
    He loved a good battle:
    The noise, a snake’s rattle,
    Delighted him when he would call.

  2. Ken Gosse says:

    Reading the Writing on the Wall ~
    Naughty Limericks are what I recall,
    When I sat somewhere reading a wall,
    But if you get erections
    From reading selections,
    You’re probably having a ball.

  3. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Happens every four years in the fall,
    I get call after call after call.
    They all want my selection
    In the coming election,
    To which I say to hell with ’em all!

  4. Marty Gerendasy says:

    She’s a lovely young miss from St. Paul,
    Likes to hang out all day at the mall.
    Gives the guys propositions
    To assume new positions,
    But she’s never around when they call.

  5. Ken Gosse says:

    Things That Go Snatch In the Night ~
    There IS a Grim Reaper, Virginia,
    Who reigns o’er a scarey dominia.
    He’s real. He’ll snatch ya
    If you let him catch ya!
    Don’t unlock your door, ‘cause he’ll skinya.

  6. Ken Gosse says:

    Anxieties in the Dark ~
    On Halloween Night, all seems gloomy.
    All the sounds are so eerily tomb-y,
    And the Grim Reaper’s wife
    Wails aloud in her strife,
    “Well, you’re Dead now and can’t do it to me!”

  7. Marty Gerendasy says:

    High anxiety’s what I would call
    The bad feeling I’m getting this fall.
    ‘Cause the stakes are so high,
    It’s for sure do or die,
    We could find ourselves climbing the wall.

  8. Suzanne Heymann says:

    When the tramp made a quick booty call
    She first jumped from a cake, boobs and all
    But his birthday was wrecked
    When the wife came and checked
    Then the guy got henpecked ‘gainst a wall.

  9. Suzanne Heymann says:

    We now have the season of fall
    And winter will soon come to call
    Without even trying
    I’m freezing, I’m dying
    And crying, just having a bawl!

  10. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I once had a little goldfish who
    Had a sadness anxiety issue
    His tears – never planned ’em
    But drowned ’em at random
    Before I could hand him a tissue.

  11. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If you’re anxious about the election
    Make plans for your future defection
    We Canucks here, no doubt
    Are just glad to help out
    ‘Cause we do care about your protection

    We’ve beds, food and booze for survival
    To greet you upon your arrival
    And if someone shoots Trump
    In the crack of his rump
    Then we’ll celebrate U.S. revival.

    But if Trump doesn’t win, don’t you worry
    Don’t rush anywhere and don’t hurry
    Don’t cause a collision
    Just make a decision
    To drink till your vision is blurry.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    (One from the stockpile …)

    To make haggis, you start with the caul
    Of a sheep, which you fill with a ball
    Of unspeakable rot,
    Then please bury the lot –
    I’d rather eat wormwood and gall.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    My smartphone, though lightweight and small,
    Has thousands of ‘apps’, got them all;
    Facebook, Twitter, TV …
    But it’s too smart for me,
    For I’ve never worked out how to call.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    Trump is anxious; he’s ordered a wall,
    But the builders don’t answer his call.
    In the meantime, those Papists
    And Mexican rapists
    Are flooding in, criminals all.

  15. Judith Block says:

    There once was a cad, name of Paul,
    Who fucked a gal; promised to call.
    She waited in vain,
    She cried out his name,
    He doesn’t care: he had a ball!

  16. Judith Block says:

    You can order our meal- It’s your call!
    Love diverse cuisines, I’ll eat it all.
    But all foods for me
    Must be milk/gluten free.
    Why are you screaming way down the hall?

  17. Judith Block says:

    This election, it’s really your call,
    The Dem or unqualified screwball.
    The Supreme Court’s at stake,
    Please don’t make a mistake.
    So much matters now in the long haul.

  18. Judith Block says:

    The election is making me cranky,
    Want to be in bed under my blankie
    The tension is so great;
    So much anger and hate.
    If you make me laugh, I will say, “Thank ye!”.

  19. Kirk Miller says:

    In the driveway, my auto did stall.
    Turned the key; it did nothing at all.
    So I rang on the phone
    Triple A, and was known
    As the person who made a crank call.

  20. Kirk Miller says:

    The mermaids evolved to forestall
    Extinction; they’re not gone at all.
    If you listen, I’m sure
    You’ll hear small, brown bird’s lure.
    Deep exhale sounds are sigh wren’s call.

  21. Kirk Miller says:

    “Where we bathe there’s a leak in the wall.
    It’s persisted for months, so please call
    For a plumber today,”
    Said my wife. “End delay.
    I’m fed up with your darn shower stall.”

  22. Kirk Miller says:

    If I try to fry eggs, it makes
    Me quite nervous; I get the shakes.
    And when folks ask me why,
    I will say with a sigh,
    “‘Cause I don’t have the skillet takes.”

  23. Kirk Miller says:

    Entertainer’s big chance, she blew it,
    And soon after did come to rue it.
    She could juggle real well,
    But was nervous as hell
    And did not have the balls to do it.

  24. Kirk Miller says:

    All the donors are now nervous wrecks
    At the blood bank, where vampires perplex.
    And Count Dracula jokes
    When he queries the folks,
    For example, the question, “Whose necks?”

  25. Kirk Miller says:

    I like snowfall, but make no mistake,
    Don’t like cold, for it makes my joints ache.
    It snow joke that a flurry
    Makes me scurry and worry.
    I sure hope you don’t think I’m a flake.

  26. Kirk Miller says:

    Gal buys clothing. At home, is appalled
    When she finds several defects; it’s hauled
    Back to store ’cause it’s bad;
    Much anxiety’s had.
    Post Traumatic Dress Syndrome it’s called.

  27. Val Fish says:

    Panic stricken, tempted to flee
    Just focus, deep breathing’s the key
    Keep calm, relax
    Damn these attacks
    They’ll not get the better of me

  28. Judith Block says:

    I’m so anxious sometimes, I can’t sleep.
    Can’t believe folks will vote for that creep.
    I’m concerned for our land,
    Why can’t you understand.
    It’s a precipice, unsafe and steep.

  29. Judith Block says:

    In his hands; It’s really his call.
    But nothing- I hit a brick wall.
    Apologize creep,
    You’ll sow what you reap.
    You pushed me, I’ll surge, will not fall.

  30. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There are different kinds of anxiety
    There are phobias – such a variety
    Paranoid and depressive
    Compulsive obsessive
    A PTSD-filled society.

    The psych wards are filled up with boarders
    And then you have clinical hoarders
    And panic attacks
    Now here is what lacks
    The compassion to all with disorders.

  31. Ken Gosse says:

    Game 4 Starts, World Series 2016 ~
    Watching our Cubs, fans got anxious,
    And though we’re still very rambanxious,
    One more game like the last,
    Should our hopes have been dashed,
    Could turn this good mob quite cantanxious.

  32. Ken Gosse says:

    Confessions from My Dark Side ~ or
    Truth is Darker Than Fiction ~
    Anxiety slashed my career,
    Like a bloody grin, from ear to ear.
    While still just a whelp,
    I learned it was no help
    When good-hearted folks said, “Have no fear.”

    Depression has helped me stay sane.
    Since this might not make sense, I’ll explain.
    My Gorilla will fight
    All those baboons who bite
    With anxieties which cause worse pain.

  33. Brian Allgar says:

    As the beauty queens wait for their call,
    They feel tiny hands start to maul.
    “Don’t worry”, says Trump
    As he gropes a young rump,
    “I’ve been there, done that, seen it all.”

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    I am blessed with near-total recall
    Fot the music I love, but that’s all.
    I forget all the rest –
    Hey, I’m only half-dressed!
    And why am I wearing a shawl?

  35. Brian Allgar says:

    I’m so anxious; why doesn’t she call?
    Has my wife had a crash or a fall?
    She’s now four hours late …
    Here she comes through the gate –
    “Sorry, honey, I went to the mall.”

  36. Brian Allgar says:

    (Another one from the past …)

    He’d created a planet, quite small;
    It was square, and he tried to recall
    Why it looked rather odd.
    “Oh, I’ve got it!” said God,
    “It ought to be shaped like a ball.”

  37. Brian Allgar says:

    She made an emergency call:
    “I’ve just swallowed!” “Well, gee, is that all?”
    “But I’m feeling quite sick,
    ‘Cause I bit off his dick,
    And he seems to be missing a ball.”

  38. Brian Allgar says:

    They were playing strip poker. “I call”,
    Said Jack. There was no way to stall.
    She replied with a sigh,
    “All I’ve got is ten high.”
    Jack was high in both meanings . . . That’s all.

  39. Brian Allgar says:

    The young hooker who answered his call
    Said “Well, Donald, I’m willin’ to ball,
    But you claim that your peter
    Is more than a metre,
    So why can’t I find it at all?”

  40. Patrice Stewart says:

    Grating Expectations

    He claims to expect the Big Call
    But he’d better prepare for the Fall,
    ‘Cause that troublesome dame
    (Hmm, now what is her name?)
    Is forecasted as Winner Take All :)

    Though the Trump-et boasts bags full of bluster,
    His appeal has lost most of its luster;
    Instrument of the people?
    Au contraire, quite a steep pull
    Just to save face: the boy can’t pass muster.

  41. Patrice Stewart says:

    Angst About What?

    It’s an uncertain world we inhabit:
    If you see something good, better grab it!
    But it might not be there
    Or fades into thin air,
    And be careful of to whom you blab it…

    I’ve been fortunate, I must admit;
    Mental illness: a dark looming pit
    For those plagued with anxiety,
    Who oft shun variety –
    Alas! :( I fight worry with wit :)

  42. Ted Hayes says:

    A nudist named Paul from Depaul,
    absorbed in a long distance call,
    sat down on a blender,
    which rendered him transgender.
    Now he’s Pauline ‘stead of Paul!

  43. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Brian Allgar (in response to 10 posts above this one re: beauty queens):

    Then the girls start to feel some anxiety
    So repulsed by his brash impropriety
    They eventually found
    He’s a sex-thirsty hound
    He has earned world-renowned notoriety.

  44. Patrice Stewart says:

    Brian Allgar, you are proving inspiring today :)

    Your limerick above, October 31, 2016 at 7:25 am:
    I am blessed with near-total recall
    For the music I love, but that’s all.
    I forget all the rest –
    Hey, I’m only half-dressed!
    And why am I wearing a shawl?

    To Continue:

    I remember I tore off my pants,
    Overheated – then started to dance
    A wild polkaing frenzy
    And looked up to then see
    My wife join me: ah, such romance!

  45. Brian Allgar says:

    The creature was learning to crawl
    On its belly, and seemed to recall
    There’s a name for its kind.
    Spewing slime from its mind,
    It said “Hi, I’m a Donald, y’all!”

  46. Patrice Stewart says:

    Anxious to Answer His Call? Don’t Press Him

    It was packed in the big lecture hall
    Where the Trumpster had issued a call
    For tall beauties, beginners,
    Young cuties, no sinners
    Allowed! He looked ’round, paused to stall –

    No contestants in sight; what the hey?
    The huge crowd of reporters’ field day;
    Donald’s twinge of anxiety
    Led to more impropriety,
    Every female invited to stay

    For a raffle based on booty beauty,
    DT loudly proclaimed it their duty
    While the males were dismissed
    And summarily dissed:
    Offending the press seems to suit T.

  47. Val Fish says:

    Lay quivering in his bed
    Blankets pulled over his head
    ‘Whizz bang and pop,
    Please make them stop
    I’m waiting for walkies’ he said

  48. Dave Johnson says:

    When summer has passed out of reach
    And skies turn the color of bleach,
    While icy winds blow
    My demeanor will show
    I’m missing the sun of a beach.

  49. Dave Johnson says:

    To Brian A.- you called it.

    With mobile phones doing it all,
    Some people are having a ball.
    But for geezers like me,
    There’s only one key;
    How the hell do you answer a call?

  50. Wendy Playter says:

    A muscular lass from St. Paul
    Enlisted to answer the call.
    She said, “Though this rifle
    Is no little trifle,
    My guns are the biggest of all!

  51. Ted Hayes says:

    The man was anxious and excited,
    soon-to-be dad – ultra delighted.
    At the hospital he took stock,
    and my oh my, the shock.
    He’d left mom-to-be at home, uninvited!

  52. Judith H. Block says:

    I really can’t handle this stress;
    The fears that I try to suppress.
    Each day seems to get worse,
    The events more perverse,
    This election is just such a mess.

  53. Judith H. Block says:

    The sound of the great eagle’s call,
    Nation’s symbol, that used to enthrall.
    But there’s anger instead,
    Now he poops on your head.
    The motif of our Country’s downfall?

  54. Sue Dulley says:

    Black bears sometimes pay me a call
    In spring and in summer and fall
    So I wonder if they
    Would be willing to pay
    If this winter I build a great wall.

  55. Dave Johnson says:

    Ol’ Marvin is tryin’ to dress
    Like a wannabe hipster, I guess.
    He prances and preens
    In skinny black jeans;
    With a beer gut that’s under duress.

  56. Tim James says:

    His anxiety led him astray,
    And he bungled his very first lay.
    He pumped hard and too fast
    So he just couldn’t last
    While conducting the choir that way.

    A lay is a ballad or narrative poem set to music. What did you think I meant?

  57. Ken Gosse says:

    Next Year is Here! ~
    They’ve Done it! They’ve answered the Call!
    Cubs showed the World how to Play Ball!
    Now that Next Year is Here
    We can hope and we’ll cheer
    That they’ll do it again Every Fall.

  58. Patrice Stewart says:

    Blind Voters Won’t “C”

    T. claims to have found his true calling
    Despite those who find him appalling.
    As HC’s support grew,
    “Vote for me or I’ll sue!
    I’m your guy!” (in a pig’s eye…) “Quit stalling!”

    Vicious bully who spouts indignation,
    A misogynist touting Creation;
    But he poses a threat.
    Can’t supporters see yet,
    We should fear for the fate of our nation?

  59. Wendy Playter says:

    With life’s apprehension I’m paired,
    But thankfully everyone’s spared—
    For, unlike some creatures
    With less-evolved features,
    I mostly don’t shit when I’m scared.

  60. Ted Hayes says:

    I’m anxious, so full of suspense,
    about Hillary, Kaine, The Donald and Pence.
    I think “is this the best we can proffer?”
    If so, I might very well remain a scoffer,
    and just keep on straddling my fence!

  61. Tim James says:

    Her cooking would surely appall
    Fans of decent cuisine, one and all.
    You could ask her poor man,
    But he’s still in the can
    As he heeds nature’s call ― and recall.

  62. As an actor, his skills would fall
    Somewhere below Neanderthal.
    But the agent was kind
    And said “If you don’t mind,
    In the off-chance I need you, I’ll call.

  63. Ted Hayes says:

    The best day of the year I can call?
    not my birthday or holidays et al,
    but when the last vote is cast,
    this ‘dog and pony’ show past,
    only then will I say, “best day of them all!”

  64. Jeanine Silverio says:

    Feeling horny, I gave it a call
    (the phone number I got from the stall)
    I found, to my folly,
    Instead of hot Polly,
    I’d buggered a she-male named Paul

  65. Jeanine Silverio says:

    I’m so shy and with women I worry,
    I can’t speak and my sight becomes blurry
    Then I met a coquette
    (she is just like a pet!)
    We can bark, howl and mate (she’s a Furry)!

  66. Jeanine Silverio says:

    I worry that my sense of humor
    Is fodder for gossip and rumor
    My critics must mutter,
    “Her mind’s in the gutter!”
    It’s less work to joke more than screw more!

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Three more days, but just don’t hold your breath
    You can drink, but shun cocaine and meth
    ‘Cause Trump’s ratings will drop
    And his bubble will pop
    An announcement of GOP voter death.

  68. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I can sleep well at night as I choose
    In the day, the occasional snooze
    My heart rate is slow
    I just let the fear go
    ‘Cause I already know Trump will lose.

    Sleep tight, America
    Sleep tight, World.

  69. Jeanine Silverio says:

    All you sane citizens, heed the call
    You must vote or our country will fall
    To this narccicist nut
    With his lies, hate and smut,
    Fear, rape, racism, KKK and wall.

  70. Ted Hayes says:

    Election Anxieties

    The Donald’s finally blown a gasket.
    So off to Hell we’ll go in a basket.
    He says he really will defendus,
    but is that the place he’ll sendus?
    Just a question, had to ask it!

  71. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There should not be a need for artillery
    When you find out the winner is Hillary
    Put your fears all to bed
    As Trump’s power has fled
    With wee hands, orange head in the pillory.

  72. Suzanne Heymann says:

    You should all sleep quite soundly tonight
    Knowing that you have fought a good fight
    An endeavor so clever
    I’ve never seen, ever!
    Let’s drink to whatever feels right!

  73. Suzanne Heymann says:

    As for every Trump dick supporter
    Take a trip to the Mexican border
    Fleets of big taco trucks
    Coming at you, you schmucks
    Your imag’nary wall just got shorter!

  74. Ted Hayes says:

    The Donald has grown virtuous balls!
    since bravely answering our call.
    Says he, “I’ll now only lay,
    the straight, lez and the gay,
    and, of course, the long, short and the tall!

  75. Ted Hayes says:

    If a dollar received for each annoying call,
    from pollsters, ass or elephant, large or small.
    and for each impudent call I remove the same.
    Then the total balance, whatever remains,
    is the number of votes I’ll give to you all!

  76. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Never thought I would have to rescind
    The rhymed Hillary vic’tries I’ve pinned
    The non-voters (ahem!)
    I must blame mostly them
    Changed direction of Democrat wind.

    I thought the track records of each
    Would just speak for themselves and then reach
    The American mind
    But, so sadly, I find
    Common sense to mankind – you can’t teach!

  77. Ted Hayes says:

    Of all the unmitigated gall!
    that some should ask a recall.
    Though he has a super ego,
    Trumps’ now my super hero,
    and Super Duper Ego-Man to all!

  78. Ted Hayes says:

    We’ll always remember this fall,
    fall, as in downward freefall.
    So we’ll just pray and hope,
    that the Lord’ll throw us a rope,
    and grant us a Trumpster recall!

  79. madkane says:




    Please see my revised post above for details of these changes.

  80. Tim James says:

    When she cries, men fall into her thrall;
    It’s a powerful, strange siren call.
    So why’s her heart breaking?
    It isn’t. She’s faking.
    It’s all just a masquerade bawl.

  81. Steve Earp says:

    With only a few states left to call
    The Democrats chances were small
    As their glass ceiling liar
    Saw her campaign backfire
    The madman took charge of it all.

  82. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Bogart to Lauren Bacall
    In his whisky-and-cigarette drawl,
    “Do you know how to blow?
    Put your lips in an ‘O’,
    Then, shweetheart, just shwallow it all.”

  83. Brian Allgar says:

    In Trumpland, I’m desperately sieving
    My thoughts for a cause for Thanksgiving.
    It’s hard to recall
    Any reason at all,
    Except that at least we’re still living.

  84. Brian Allgar says:

    Trump celebrates Thanksgiving

    “On Thanksgiving, you gotta learn
    History’s lessons you never should spurn.
    Some tinpot dictator
    Burnt millions. But later,
    With me, the whole planet will burn.”

  85. Brian Allgar says:

    Trump celebrates Thanksgiving (part 2)

    “This Thanksgivin’, you Dems gonna stay pissed?
    I’ll save ya from Muslim and Papist,
    And lemme recall,
    I’ll be buildin’ a wall
    To keep out every Mexican rapist.”

  86. Brian Allgar says:

    (A couple from the archives)

    The turkey was rotten and rank;
    It was crawling with maggots, and stank.
    That Thanksgiving Day
    All the guests, in dismay,
    Felt a disinclination to thank.


    He stuffed her with thrust after thrust
    Like a man half-demented with lust,
    Then he bound her with string,
    Legs and breast, everything,
    Till the Thanksgiving turkey was trussed.

  87. Ted Hayes says:

    Presidential anxiety

    There’s a feeling I just can’t dispel,
    that all has not ended so well.
    For if the DA should finally at last,
    nail Trump for naughtiness past,
    the Oval he might trade for a cell!

  88. Patrice Stewart says:

    States of Anxiety, or Hillary, You Earned Some Rest

    Head-in-sand Trumpsters hope that he’ll keep
    All those promises: Kids, talk is cheap.
    9-1-1, heed my call –
    We’ve all taken a fall
    And the trail up is gonna be steep.

    I confess that I don’t understand it;
    To non-voters, it’s as though you planned it.
    And you ask why we riot,
    Why won’t we be quiet?
    Those who seek better “gov” must demand it!

    But we missed that boat by a huge gap
    And now must endure Chumpster’s crap.
    To those cutesy Deplorables,
    Know you’re far from adorables;
    Wallow in that brief victory lap.

    Ask who’s dumber, his voters or Thump?
    We Want Change! brayed the collective lump.
    But those with any sense
    Didn’t choose T and Pence:
    The Electoral College? A dump.

  89. Val Fish says:

    The twenty fourth’s a special date
    Time to give thanks and celebrate
    But with Trump as our head
    I’m in mourning instead
    Fearful of our dear nation’s fate

  90. Ailsa McKillop says:

    When the bouffant one answered the call
    To hold the States under his thrall
    Said a friend to her spouse,
    “Put a ton on that louse.
    He’ll win this, whate’er may befall.”

    Her hubby said, “Okay, your call.”
    But neglected to go down the mall.
    At 100 to 1
    He thought, “No, c’mon!
    It’s Clinton that they will install.”

    Intuition of females? Men call
    This attribute worthless and small.
    No trip to the bookie—
    He now has no nooky;
    His wife remains cold as a wall.

    “ton” = £100
    A true story (although I’m surmising about the nooky). My friend knew back in summer 2015 that Donald Trump was going to win.

  91. Dave Johnson says:

    We’ve elected a hideous elf;
    Who’s pushing us off of the shelf.
    It’s suddenly clear
    For Thanksgiving next year,
    This turkey will pardon himself.

  92. Patrice Stewart says:

    Deer Voters, You Were Outfoxed

    Some people now say let’s talk turkey,
    Though most have a big beef with Jerky.
    Build a Wall! went his call,
    Human traffic will stall;
    Will supporters cheer when out of work-y?
    (Doubtless then they’ll stop acting so perky.)

    But Thanksgiving’s upon us, so cheer
    For the fact we’re alive and still here,
    And I give sincere thanks!
    Please, reduce tranqs and tanks;
    We’ll hold on through his term and this year…

    (FDR: the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
    Oh, yeah? I refer us to Dave Johnson’s “hideous elf” ~
    Thanks, Dave, for a twisted holiday image!)

  93. Wendy Playter says:

    Election time served up a fright,
    Anxiety knocked out my light.
    But don’t worry, loves–
    I have heavy gloves.
    I’ll grieve and then get up and fight.

  94. Wendy Playter says:

    All thanks to the votes of the Trump-kins,
    And those of assorted ole bumpkins,
    Just like SNL,
    We’ve made a new hell–
    We’re led now by David S. Pumpkins.

  95. Judith H. Block says:

    This Thanksgiving we need to intend
    To be kind and to try to transcend
    Fears and misconceptions
    And narrow perceptions..
    The world needs more love, I contend.

  96. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I fear all Trump’s acts of hypocrisy
    Crossed the line into mad idiocracy
    The electoral college
    With all of its knowledge
    Should do what it can for democracy.

  97. Ailsa McKillop says:

    It seems he’s two inches too tall
    His eyes have turned hazel. They call
    This conspiracy theory.
    I’ve more than one query!
    McCartney, in truth, is he “Faul”?

  98. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Mother Nature, who knocks at my door
    Knows the strength of my bladder is poor
    If I don’t rise at all
    To go answer her call
    She will soil my pants to the core!


  99. Judith H. Block says:

    The Thanksgiving season this year,
    In politics, not much to cheer.
    The climate disaster
    May come even faster.
    With copious changes to fear.

  100. Mary McGarvey says:

    Come one come all, hear the call!
    The economy will now start to stall.
    High school and hard work
    Young dreamers now shirk
    In a “Fuck Trump!” March to City Hall.

    That verb used to mean a bad thing.
    Now it’s weak, not the worse you can fling.
    The worst is: “Arriba!”
    Cuz there is a heap of
    Illegals: won’t let our freedoms ring.

  101. David Reddekopp says:

    I’ll kill all four birds with this stone:

    Thanksgiving this year made me bawl
    I was anxious all day, I recall
    Up north, in October
    I tried to stay sober
    It didn’t go well, but AWOL.

    I’d fashioned a fabulous feast
    For my family living out east
    No one came here at all
    No, not even a call!
    Send a text, or an email, at least.

    *Thanksgiving in Canada falls on the 2nd Monday in October.

  102. Patrice Stewart says:

    Election Recovery

    Respect not the man but the office
    Of president? Many would scoff. Is
    It too much to ask
    To be good at the task
    Or concede? We just heard a loud boff (his).

    But Thanksgiving’s upon us: recall
    The blessings we have, one and all.
    Though things Trump in the night
    Just imagine the sight:
    Toupee, pink striped? The thought makes me LOL :)

  103. Ken Gosse says:

    Alphabitricks – L is for Loose ~
    Loose as a goose, so they say,
    And a goose can run every which-way,
    But if you try to catch one
    (Instead of just hatch one) –
    They’re fastest on Thanksgiving Day.

  104. Ken Gosse says:

    Perchance to Sleep In ~
    Time is a powerful thing:
    Crack’s the dawn and it makes roosters sing.
    Mine’s a gnarly old bird,
    And it may sound absurd
    But he’ll treat us this year for Thanksgiving.

  105. Ted Hayes says:

    Though they be sweet, sour or fecal,
    the axe man fires them all equal.
    But as we anxiously wait,
    for Trump to self-castrate,
    we’ll look forward to the sequel!

  106. Ted Hayes says:

    Rumors still abound about the wall,
    and this game of chicken we call.
    Rumor has it that Pres. Pena Nieto
    has a brand spanking new stiletto,
    and is on a witch hunt for the D’s balls!

  107. Tim James says:

    Anxiety hangs like a pall
    Round the world, as it grips one and all.
    Other nations ask why
    We would vote for that guy.
    (I hear Canada’s building a wall.)

  108. Jeanine Silverio says:

    The election of such a sleazeball
    Should serve as a clarion call
    Against bigots who choose
    To demean and abuse
    Instead of uplifting us all

  109. Judith H. Block says:

    All folks want peace; for happiness, strive.
    We all want joy; to smile and to thrive.
    Each day that we greet,
    Would be far more sweet,
    Were my wonderful friends still alive.

  110. Ted Hayes says:

    Nomination concerns

    If good rationale makes all the calls,
    perhaps good leaders we’ll install.
    But if our President Elect,
    gives leave his ego to select,
    we’ll have ass-kissers wall-to-wall!

  111. Jane Hoffman says:

    The priest said, “Folks, I heard a call
    From Jesus to speak to you all.
    He said that each day
    To not only pray
    But give more to the Church of St Paul.”

  112. Dave Johnson says:

    This Thanksgiving, we might sit and chat;
    Or maybe we’ll go to the mat.
    It’s something we dread;
    If old Uncle Fred
    Shows up with that God-awful hat.

  113. Diane Groothuis says:

    Cinderella received a nice call
    Inviting her out to a Ball,
    But found it alarming
    On seeing Prince Charming
    In pants with no ball-room at all.

  114. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Humpty who fell off the wall
    Went for a very bad sprawl
    And mid fragments of shell
    With anger did yell
    “No yolk, you should come when I call”
    Like · Reply · Just now

  115. Judith H. Block says:

    This Thanksgiving there’s much that is sad…
    Have to focus on joys that I’ve had.
    Memories, sweet..
    The future, upbeat..
    Must go forward with thoughts that are glad.

  116. Tim James says:

    On Thanksgiving he wanted to slip
    Out of visiting Mom. She let rip:
    “You don’t write; you don’t call.
    You don’t visit at all!”
    So he’s taking that trip. A guilt trip.

  117. Judith H. Block says:

    “Be happy, and be of good cheer.”
    Lovely words that I needed to hear.
    Thanksgiving reminder
    That couldn’t be kinder
    Of blessings in life, far and near.

  118. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Thanksgiving would be much more easy
    If the new prez was decent, not sleazy
    With the thought of that dummy
    This feast ain’t so yummy
    I’ll try, though my tummy feels queasy.

  119. Suzanne Heymann says:

    On Thanksgiving, our family had goose
    Chewing that made our teeth kinda loose
    Our dinner, I heard
    Didn’t have to be bird
    I’d a-settled for nice cuts of moose!

    Another Thanksgiving saw duck
    But its feathers I first had to pluck
    But before I could sup
    The guests ate it all up
    Was I pissed off? Oh yup! Wtf!

    There was one time when we just had chicken
    The turkeys sold out for the pickin’
    I’m too tardy, alas!
    (I’m still kicking my ass)
    Still was good, not too crass; finger-lickin’.

    Then one year, we tried out some pheasant
    It was gamey, but still rather pleasant
    Rich and dark, and what’s more,
    Almost fat-free (a score!)
    It’s not just merely made for a peasant.

    So the next year, we feasted on quail
    Three per person and served up with ale
    Chopping head, foot and feather
    Of twelve, altogether
    Takes bloody forever! Bewail!

    The pigeon was bad (not my fault!)
    Should have added a whole lot more salt
    After one bite, I spat
    Think I’d rather eat cat
    My opinion of that – Oy gevalt!

    Now finally, we’re having some turkey!
    At my friend’s, who is perky and quirky
    I’ve had more than enough
    Of that jaw-breaking stuff
    ‘Cause the texture was tough as beef jerky!

    That’s it! I’m so fed up, I am!
    For poultry, I don’t give a damn!
    I don’t want any bird
    It’s a four-letter word!
    Have you people not heard of a ham?!

  120. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Forgive me Lord, though I have sinned
    For I ate too much, then I broke wind
    And if that makes you cranky
    Just spank me, don’t thank me
    Though under my blanky, I grinned!

    This feast gave me physical power
    As I hiccupped and burped for an hour
    Then suddenly – vomit!
    Shot out like a comet
    I dropped the F-bomb, it was dour.

    You can dress me, but can’t take me out
    I’ll embarrass you badly, no doubt
    I would stay home if only
    You weren’t so lonely
    So go ahead, phone me, don’t pout!

  121. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    At Thanksgiving, I’m cranberry boss.
    I abominate canned berry dross.
    Why is mine so damned dandy?
    It’s fresh berries and brandy —
    Gives new meaning to hitting the sauce.

  122. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Trump’s wall, just the butt of all jokes
    Cannot fool any Mexican folks
    After crossing that wall
    They will give Trump a call
    Saying ladders is all he provokes.

  123. Ken Gosse says:

    Dump the Ump ~
    Enough rocks in his head for a wall,
    Where a Yuuuge Umpty Dumpty may fall,
    But he’ll say it’s not fair
    When his bat just gets air
    Or connects, but the ball’s a foul call.

  124. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun Limerick-Off. This one is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Anxiety-Themed and Thanksgiving-Themed Limerick Winners, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick-Off Award 265.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Ice.