Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOUT or ABOUT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using either BOUT or ABOUT at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ALLERGIES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best allergy-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 24, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 23, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

At the end of their sexual bout,
She noticed her lover’s self-doubt.
“Don’t worry,” she said,
As she rose from their bed.
“I’m accustomed to doing without.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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84 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOUT or ABOUT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Though I’ve tried, I just can’t figure out
    What the candidates are all about.
    Accusations keep flying.
    Can it be they’re both lying?
    The one thing that is certain is doubt.

  2. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Eyes are watering and can’t stop sneezin’,
    And my breathing is nothin’ but wheezin’.
    It’s that time of the year
    That I annually fear,
    It’s the take antihistamine season!

  3. Raphael Harris says:

    There once was a singer named Bout,
    Who sang without whimsy or doubt,
    They said, “hey soprano,
    Can you tuna piano?!”
    He said, “No, I can harpsichord trout.”

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    The professor was stringent about
    Punctuation. “It’s simple!” he’d shout.
    “The possessive? It’s “its”;
    If it’s “it is”, it’s “it’s”.
    I trust that is clear beyond doubt.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    “Here’s my sick note”, he said with a smirk.
    “Ergasiophobia? You jerk,”
    Snarled his boss, Mr. Proctor,
    “This note from your doctor
    Just means you’re allergic to work!”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    It had been a most gruelling bout;
    Both boxers took clout after clout.
    When he’d counted to ten,
    Neither man rose again
    So the referee gave them both “Out!”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Five fishermen live hereabout,
    But their talents are somewhat in doubt.
    Though five lines they will spin,
    Just one fish is reeled in,
    So this quintet is known as “The Trout”.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    The bimbo went round and about
    With the guys who were certain to spout.
    She would swallow the lot,
    And explained “It’s so hot,
    I’m afraid there will soon be a drought.”

  9. Judith Block says:

    I have no idea what it’s about
    Or how the damned plot will turn out.
    Covers so many things,
    While valiant hope springs.
    We need to hold on and chill out.

  10. Judith Block says:

    The hot chick was prancing about
    While guys gave encouraging shout.
    ‘Cause her top was too low,
    They relished the show
    And waited for her to bust out.

  11. Judith Block says:

    He had quite a strenuous bout
    With a strong, hanging tough rainbow trout
    This made my day:
    The trout got away!
    His fishing was one big washout.

  12. Judith Block says:

    I’m allergic to most politicians
    With their multiple bullshit positions,
    Though I’m not sneezing
    I’m certainly wheezing.
    I’m sick of their toxic emissions.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    “Stupid voters of Britain!” I shout.
    “What on earth were you thinking about?
    Now you say that ‘Stay In’
    You were hoping would win,
    So why did you vote for ‘Get Out’?”

  14. Jesse Levy says:

    My wife sat down hard with a pout.
    I said, Hey, what’s that all about?
    She said, I just stuffed in
    A cuke in my “muffin”
    And can’t get the damn thing back out!

  15. Dave Johnson says:

    She worked for a sexual lout
    Who told told her she had to “put out”.
    Unseemly details
    That expose Mr. Ailes;
    Yeah, that’s who I’m talking about.

  16. Dave Johnson says:

    We replace body parts, if you please;
    Like a nose, if you sniffle or sneeze.
    Our premium stuff
    Would be shown in the buff;
    But there’s no volume discount for these.

  17. Marty Gerendasy says:

    It was in the tenth round of the bout,
    When a quick left hook knocked him right out.
    The poor guy couldn’t win,
    Took one right on the chin,
    ‘Cause the other guy just had more clout!

  18. David Reddekopp says:

    It’s what critical thought is about
    But it has a bad image, does doubt
    If blind faith is your virtue
    It only will hurt you
    You’re much better off when without.

  19. Dave Johnson says:

    She was to be one of the “perks”
    At the office where Roger Ailes works.
    But started to sneeze
    As he fondled her knees;
    Turns out, she’s allergic to jerks.

  20. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    It appears that the captain is out
    Of the closet without any doubt.
    From up high in the rigging
    I spotted him frigging
    The cabin boy, coming about.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    I thought I was sure to make out
    With my neighbour. Her husband’s a lout,
    And my suave British charm
    Couldn’t fail to disarm
    Her. I pictured a strenuous bout.

    So I called on her. Oh, how I lusted!
    I’d teach her the meaning of “thrusted”.
    But my plans went awry;
    It turns out she’s a guy.
    Appearances cannot be trusted.

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    (Revised version of an earlier one)

    Five fishermen live hereabout,
    But their talents are somewhat in doubt.
    Though five lines they would spin,
    Just one fish was reeled in.
    This quintet is now known as “The Trout”.

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    (An old one …)

    Though the sirloin was tender and sweet,
    She said “I’m allergic to meat
    Unless it’s organic.”
    I told her, “Don’t panic,
    I’ve something I’m sure you can eat.”

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    As they loaded the Ark’s floating zoo,
    It appeared they were missing a few.
    “Those unicorns? Banned ’em”,
    Said Noah. “Can’t stand ’em.
    I’m allergic to dinosaurs, too.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    (Where’s Trump when you need him?)

    “The Alamo? That was a rout,
    But if I’d been around and about,
    Then no blood would’ve spilt,
    ’Cause the wall I’d have built
    Would’ve kept all them Mexicans out.”

  26. Diane Groothuis says:

    The German cried “What’s it about?
    I look nice when I’m dressed to go out.
    In my waistcoat a rose
    And my smart leder hose
    You can’t call me a poor sauer kraut”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    My allergies? Let’s count the ways
    So-called music offends me these days:
    Heavy Metal, Hip-Hop,
    Garage, Rap . . . it’s all slop,
    And my eyes are beginning to glaze.

  28. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now mustard’s my bete noir by God
    The reaction is terribly odd
    With rashes and hives
    The blood pressure dives
    I give old St Peter the nod

  29. Brian Allgar says:

    “What on earth are you fussing about?”
    Said the elephant-riding mahout.
    “When my boy takes a dump,
    It’s the size of your Trump –
    By November, it’s all been washed out.”

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    Being from New Jersey, we never said “route”
    In Chicago I learned what it was all about
    I always said “root’
    But there was quite a dispute
    Now I won’t be a Mid West dropout

  31. Kirk Miller says:

    Baseball batters like bowling, no doubt.
    It is something they’re raving about.
    Why do they think it’s good?
    Don’t you know? Think you should.
    It’s because with three strikes you’re not out.

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve seen you with that gloomy pout
    You don’t even want to go out!
    This remedy won’t fail
    And it’s not a tall tale
    Just do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself about

  33. Lisi Nortman says:


    Being from N.J. we never said “route”
    But in Chicago, I learned what it was about
    I always said “root”
    But there was quite a dispute
    Now I say it right, but I still have to pout

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    I got married in July
    What I’m about to tell you is no lie
    I wanted June
    Under the full of the moon
    But mom had allergies, so I had to comply

    (actually true)

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    Allergy season is really not funny
    We cough and sneeze and OH, HONEY
    Pollen’s in the air
    Our eyes always tear
    But I work for a doctor, so we’re making good money

  36. Bruce Alter says:

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
    Said the unrequited old lout,
    “How you can insist you
    Could tell when I kissed you,
    That I’d had salami with kraut?”

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    My name is Brooke; I have a perpetual pout
    Do you want to know what it’s all about?
    Mom thought it would be cute
    Just an all out hoot
    To call me that when our last name is Trout

  38. @Brian

    They’re five fisher-*women*. I’ve met
    Fran Schubert, who handles the net.
    For fishing, Fran fell in
    With four gals named Ellen…
    They’re called the 4-Ellen Quintette.

    (NB: For those who don’t know their chamber music, the German title of the “Trout” is “Das Forellenquintette”.)

  39. Roger Ailes pulled his genitals out
    And proceeded to wave them about.
    “And this,” muttered Gretchen
    (When she’d finished retchin’)
    “Must be your twin brother, no doubt…”

  40. I’m allergic to goat fur. It’s true:
    I sneeze ’till I gasp and turn blue.
    Even young ones I shun,
    Or my nose starts to run,
    And I say: Kid, here’s lurking achoo.

  41. Judith Block says:


    I’ve got an allergy/addiction
    It’s real, not a word contradiction.
    I want it; I crave!
    I am chocolate’s slave!
    Possessed is a perfect description.

  42. Ken Gosse says:

    Sauer Grapes ~
    They say ‘kraut is good for the gout,
    But I’ve found that it’s not a good route.
    I buyed it and tried it
    And wrapped up inside it.
    For now, I have lost the first bout.

  43. Ken Gosse says:

    Right Back At-Chooo! ~
    For a wheezerly, sneezerly geezer,
    There’s not a known cure that’s a pleaser.
    For an allergy bout
    Just don’t let him come out,
    But keep him locked up in your freezer.

  44. Ken Gosse says:

    Spite Thy Face ~
    There once was a dark, stormy Knight,
    Whose nickname was Sir Gesundheit,
    For he’d sniffle and sneeze,
    Then he’d cough and he’d wheeze,
    ’til he cut off his nose, just in spite!

  45. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The box for my cross? Not a doubt!
    And our vote isn’t something to flout.
    Ahead gleams our Brexit
    So Tessa, don’t hex it!
    You’d face a most strenuous bout.

  46. Brian Allgar says:

    Though Cortez was alleged to be stout,
    He was nimble at getting about.
    “There’s no time for tarryin’,”
    He’d cry, but on Darien
    Fell silent, completely puffed out.

  47. Brian Allgar says:


    When in search of a pun, Will’s no slouch;
    For that, I can certainly vouch.
    And how could one better
    “4-Ellen Quintette”?
    The only response can be “Ouch!”

  48. Brian Allgar says:

    Reaping what they sowed

    With no clue what the whole thing’s about,
    They mindlessly voted for OUT.
    “If I’d known OUT would win,
    I’d have voted for IN”,
    They complain, now they’re all up the spout.

  49. Ailsa McKillop says:

    So tell me, what is it about?
    Oh Wise One, who didn’t vote OUT?
    I was sick of the greed
    Of the Eurocrat breed
    In the trough — all four trotters and snout.


    In the very first round of the bout,
    The Kid knocked the champion out.
    But they stopped him, they did,
    When they noticed the Kid
    Had four legs, and a horn on his snout.

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    My allergy to people causes many frowns
    I can’t help but sneeze on the village grounds
    Hubby and me: so in love are we
    Are forced to live in different towns

  52. Lisi Nortman says:


    My allergy to people causes many frowns
    I can’t help but sneeze on the village grounds
    Hubby and me
    So in love are we
    Are forced to live in different towns

  53. Lisi Nortman says:


    I got married in the month of July
    But I have to tell you a little white lie:
    I really wanted June
    Under the full of the moon
    But mom had allergies, so I had to comply

    (FYI the actual truth)

  54. Lisi Nortman says:


    My name is Brooke, and I have sulky pout
    I will now tell you what it’s all about:
    Mom thought it would be cute
    Just an all out hoot
    To call me that, because our last name is Trout

  55. Maria LeBerre says:

    On Tinder, I frequently shout,
    “A man’s-man is what I’m about
    I like my men some fuzzy.”
    Grizzly Adams, and was he!
    He liked Furries, not girls, it turns out.

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    Fifty Shades of Gray is about
    Erotic tastes that will knock you out
    But since I’m a nun
    I can no longer run
    So I’ve declared that I’ve ceased being fully devout

  57. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Whether Innie or Outie or Ummie
    Our collective response was: “Cor, lumme!”
    Have no fear; have no doubt
    Brits will aye come about.
    Even though things still seem a bit rummy.

    PS: I know, I’ve got “about” on the “wrong” line, but there it is. Britannia waives the rules :-)

  58. Ken Gosse says:

    It’s Aboot Time and Rhyme ~
    An Ancient of deep Scottish root,
    Told a Limerick of bawdy repute,
    ‘bout a maiden from Kent,
    And yet, with his accent,
    No one knew what the joke was aboot.

  59. Ken Gosse says:

    This morning, the phrase “cut to the chase” called me. So I answered.
    Chastity, Thy Name is Naught ~
    Some men of the boasting type shout
    Bawdy tales of “Ye Old Inn and Out.”
    When we cut to the chaste –
    Those who haven’t embraced –
    They ask, “What is the fuss all about?”

  60. Ken Gosse says:

    Out of Cadence ~
    His dyslexia sometimes came out
    When the Drill Sergeant started to shout,
    But he knew how to cope:
    He could walk that tightrope,
    Though they’d grin when he’d yell, “Face About!”

  61. Brian Allgar says:

    “Aye, ye’re sleekit,” said Burns, “But I doubt
    That I’m fit for a sexual bout”,
    Till the maiden from Deal
    Gave his wotsit a feel,
    And the wee tim’rous beastie sprang out.

  62. Brian Allgar says:

    “Send in the clowns … Don’t bother, they’re here”

    I’m allergic to ludicrous hair,
    Gaping mouth, a maniacal stare.
    Am I speaking of Trump?
    No, that lookalike chump
    Boris Johnson. He’s one of a pair.

  63. Ken Gosse says:

    Wood Grain Alcohol ~
    There once was a lazy young lout,
    Who mixed barley and malt with his grout.
    His wood, stone, and mortar
    Were not made-to-order
    And drunk termites ran all about.

  64. Barry Solomons says:

    A nun who was very devout
    Would often worry about
    How she would handle
    What she did with a candle
    If the abbess was to find out.


    He was allergic to food that was sugary
    Knowing it could lead to skullduggery,
    Eating cupcakes and candy
    Would make him feel randy
    Committing acts of bestiality and buggery.

  65. A lioness mooning about
    And old lover was filled with self-doubt;
    Dejected, she cried,
    “Where oh where is my pride?!
    Anyone could see he was a lout!”


    A bee’s uncontrollable sneeze
    Proved a symptom of fierce allergies
    To all kinds of pollen;
    Sniffed poor he, crestfallen,
    “This sneeze has brought me to my knees!”

  66. Uncle Ernie was fiddling about
    When Tommy, not fully tuned out,
    Cried, “See me and heal me,
    But if you dare feel me
    I swear i will put your lights out!”

  67. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    GESUNDHEIT by errol nimbly

    There’s a trick-turning floozy, long fallen,
    Who’s allergic, in springtime, to pollen.
    With her multiple sneezes,
    Come vaginal squeezes–
    “God bless you!” cry clients while ballin’.

  68. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    Here’s an alternate with transitional anapestic meter, that you may prefer. I think I do.

    There’s a trick-turning floozy, long fallen,
    Who’s bothered, in springtime, by pollen.
    Along with her sneezes,
    Come vaginal squeezes–
    “God bless you!” her clients keep callin’.

  69. A girl who oft’ slept about,
    Found she had one up the spout.
    She observed, with chagrin,
    “While it was fun going in,
    I fear that it will hurt coming out”.

  70. Dave Johnson says:

    Snow White wore a billowy dress;
    And the dwarfs numbered seven, no less.
    Whenever one tried
    To sneak up inside,
    Only Sneezy was easy to guess.

  71. Mark Kane says:

    They were constantly out and about,
    And he worried they might just burn out.
    So on Sunday instead,
    He dragged her to bed
    To “play” till he’d scream, and she’d shout.

  72. Diane Groothuis says:

    A guy at a Circus called out
    “I’m amazed at the length of your snout”
    And a woman (well dressed)
    Was less than impressed
    Not knowing who it was about

    But the elephant glowing with pride
    Offered that lady a ride
    Which she flatly refused
    Cuz her feelings were bruised
    And proceeded to hurry outside…(just a little explanatory note.

  73. Barbara Millikan says:

    Le Coût de ma Foley*

    Inkum stinkum pinkum pew
    Pink ladies’ Depends made “just for you”
    Scent of muguet des bois
    Left my poor tush raw
    My rash Dependence now I rue

    *foleys are a kind of catheter used in general anesthesia and tend to leave one incontinent for a period of time following.

  74. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Want to know what the grumbling’s about?
    I hate cleaning these tiles and this grout
    The amount is humongous –
    The mold and the fungus
    And so is the swearing I shout.

  75. Tim James says:

    What’s this nonsense in Cleveland about?
    It’s a dumpster fire, set by a lout.
    After days of this trash
    I broke out in a rash.
    I’m allergic to stupid, turns out.

  76. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Every time that I go take a dump
    There’s an image of one wealthy grump
    I just look at my poo
    Then I promptly “Achoo!”
    I’m allergic to Donald J. Trump!

  77. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I listen, but can’t figure out
    What that brainless boob’s blath’ring about
    If you hit his head – Boink!
    You might hear him go “Oink!”
    As he shoves his hind hooves in his snout.

    It’s an implant, toupee or a sprout
    I’ve this urge to just yank it all out
    Though I might go to jail
    It’s worth watching him flail
    And grow lifelessly pale beyond doubt.

    “So who the hell is he?!” you shout
    Oh you KNOW who I’m talking about
    A rich brute in a suit
    And a redneck to boot
    And he’s loaded with loot, that old lout.

  78. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I once had a lover, Jack Sprat
    Who sneezed at the sight of my cat
    He hinted I should
    Dump my kitty for good
    ‘Cause his allergies would not go flat.

    Of my fur baby, I am quite fond
    But the man didn’t care for our bond
    So his thoughts I reversed
    Quenched the worst of his thirst
    When I threw him head first in my pond.

  79. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If you don’t know what life’s all about
    Don’t worry, relax, just chill out
    Live life fully and know
    When it’s your turn to go
    You’ll no longer be living in doubt.

  80. Robyn Raymer says:

    Donald Trump’s really freakin me out
    Which is odd cause he’s naught but a lout.
    He trumps up his lies
    And applies orange dyes
    And he smirks his self-satisfied pout!

  81. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    We know what this ballot’s about.
    It’s crucial without any doubt
    That progressives must rally
    In masses to tally
    The votes to exit this lout.

  82. Fred Bortz says:

    The Melting Pot menu’s about
    Combinations of food that you doubt
    You’d ever be able
    To serve at your table
    Like brie, calamari, and kraut.

    You ask, “What’s this poem about?”
    I reply that my wit has run out.
    Yes, my world’s gone askew;
    All I write is word stew
    Since Republicans gave us that lout.

  83. Suzanne Heymann says:

    As he ordered an ale, dark and stout
    He seemed happy (what was it about?)
    He revealed the whole thing
    As he took off his ring
    A divorce was the reason, no doubt.

    Just then, who should show up and spout?
    Why, his ex, who for sure thought he’d pout
    She had hoped he’d be sad
    But she saw he was glad
    Well, that just made her mad and act out.

    “Grow up now, you silly old trout!
    There’s no need to be bitchy or shout
    You’re no longer my wife
    I’m all done with your strife
    So move on, get a life and chill out!”

    The applause could be heard all about
    As the bartender kicked the bitch out
    It was fun to attend
    Watch the bimbo descend
    To the imminent end of her bout.

  84. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Allergy-Themed Limerick Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick-Off Award 257.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Lean.