Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CASE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CASE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to STUBBORNNESS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best STUBBORNNESS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 15, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 14, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

An attorney was mounting a case
For a gun co, who’d thought him an ace,
But he blew a key deadline,
Which led to this headline:
Hotshot Lawyer Is Shot In The Face.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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88 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CASE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A lovely young lady named Grace
    Once invited me up to her place.
    When she caused an erection,
    I had ample protection,
    ‘Cause I brought it along just in case.

  2. David Reddekopp says:

    FOR YOUR COMMENT IN CAPS LOCK, NO PLACE
    TELL ME WHY SHOULDN’T I JUST ERASE
    IT. YOU SEE, THERE’S NO TELLING
    IF YOU’RE TALKING OR YELLING
    WHEN YOUR MESSAGE IS ALL UPPERCASE.

  3. A guy felt he was up for the chase
    Of a gangster’s girlfriend called Grace.
    By the end of the day
    He’d washed up in the bay—
    As suicide, an open and shut case.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    When will Facebook allow us bold face
    And italic? It’s such a disgrace,
    And it’s really absurd
    That to highlight a word
    There is only one choice – UPPERCASE.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    The coffin took up lots of space,
    But he gave it a prominent place.
    “Though my wife is no more,
    She has fooled me before,
    So I keep her around just in case.”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the dentist, “Your teeth need a brace,
    But I fear it’s a difficult case.
    Though the work is cosmetic,
    It needs anaesthetic –
    You’ll feel a small prick in your face.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Cruz believed he was winning the race
    To be President, thanks to God’s grace.
    “I really don’t think
    That I’ve seen”, said his shrink,
    A more hopeless, delusional case.”

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    He thought he was quite a tough case.
    “C’mon, baby, let’s cut to the chase.
    Just blow me, OK?”
    But she told him “No way!”
    It was mace that she blew in his face.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    .
    Stubbornness (hope this one doesn’t get me banned …)

    She never gave up on a knob
    Till she’d blown it of every last blob.
    They would ask “How d’you do it?”
    She said “Nothing to it –
    I’m an oboist, blowing’s my job.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The stubbornness of Sisyphus

    He was rolling a rock up a hill,
    But the bloody thing wouldn’t keep still.
    It would roll down again –
    What a bore, what a pain! –
    Rock and roll was a pastime worth nil.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    Sometimes one must cut to the chase
    Which gives the excuse to wear lace.
    Play the feminine card,
    It’s really not hard;
    Without a word you’ve made your case.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    Dear Jury, this trial’s a disgrace!
    My client was not at that place.
    He was busy in bed
    As the Judge’s wife said.
    So thus I do now rest my case!

  13. Clifford Morse says:

    The woman in my bed is my Spouse
    So don’t even try to call me a louse
    Or some other bad name
    Which says I am to blame
    For the mess she leaves in this house

  14. Mark Kane says:

    Here’s a combo ‘Stubborn Limerick’ which also uses ‘Case’:

    In prison they’re called a ‘Hard Case’.
    They’re stubborn, and spit in your face.
    Can you beat them? Oh no,
    You can’t leave a blow.
    Instead? Well I recommend mace.

  15. Andy Sewina says:

    Phew, I guess that led to his sudden decline! Nice one Mad!

  16. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A stubbornes Limerick

    There was an old cowboy called crass 
    who put his blue eye in a glass 
    one day he was hot 
    So, he gulped down a shot 
    and his lass had to plung hard his ass 

    stubborness Limerick

  17. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    When Louis was tied up in lace
    Suzanna came down on his face
    Like a ballet of brick
    she wiggled her hips
    and played him a tune on her base

  18. SLOUCHING TOWARD CLEVELAND

    The candidates left in the race
    Promise terrible things to their base.
    But forget about tact:
    They’re ignoring the fact
    That they can’t just make laws by ukase.

  19. The detective said, “Facts we must face —
    We’re working a very cold case.
    But we’ll persevere
    ‘Til we run out of beer
    (Just an hour or two, at this pace)!”

  20. I’m fed up with people who choose
    To be stubborn — who can’t change their views.
    I’m telling you flat
    I will NOT be like that.
    I refuse, I refuse, I REFUSE!!

  21. A practical princess from Thrace
    Kept her lover embalmed in a case.
    Thus her mate’s being stiff
    Was a “when”, not an “if”
    (Oh, you’d do the same thing in her place)!

  22. There once was a woman named Grace
    Who purchased the wrong kind of Mace.
    If the men out to harm her
    Wore full suits of armor?
    Then Grace was prepared, in that case.

  23. Don Lee says:

    The deal we must seal

    or the wedding bells will not peal

    so we exchange rings

    and do the vow things

    Then it’s done and it’s real.

    The truth he tried to conceal

    but the salesman made it sound like a steal

    and the poor sucker

    bought another junker

    and the bank said a deal’s a deal.

    If the truth you try to conceal

    you better see both sides of the deal

    cause if you don’t get it

    you probably will lose it

    and pay the price of the seal.

    So to close the deal

    we must have some glue on the seal

    that means give and take on both sides

    and putting it all out there where it all rides

    with no secrets left to conceal.

  24. Randy Wagner says:

    In today’s dating scene there’s a place
    For a benefit-free basket case:
    It’s the dreaded “friend zone”
    Where love-bunglers are thrown
    When they can’t even get to first base.

  25. Dave Johnson says:

    The phone was removed from its case;
    And seemingly stuck to her face.
    In a line at the store,
    We learned this and much more:
    “I like, sprayed my ex-boyfriend with Mace…”

  26. Randy Wagner says:

    Stubbornness lim (Grammarly edition):
    A stubborn chaste lass left no doubt
    Of her vast prepositional clout.
    Through thick and through thin
    She would never give in
    And she’d neither go down nor put out.

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    My daughter’s boyfriend came with a case
    Containing gadgets to share with Grace
    I left the room
    In despondent gloom
    I guess they’re undoubtedly past first base

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    Dachshunds are stubborn; that’s for sure
    But ours has charm and a new coiffure!
    We trained her right
    From morning till night
    UH-OH she pooped on the floor

  29. Judith H. Block says:

    Revised-
    Oh, yeah, I’m as stubborn as hell,
    The people who know, know me well.
    Relentless won’t quit.
    I’ll gladly admit.
    No matter what truths do compel.

  30. DEAR FELLOW DEMOCRATS: SHUT UP

    “That Candidate A — (s)he’s a twit
    Whose supporters don’t know when to quit.
    But Candidate B —
    (S)he’s the right one for me,
    And defeat we shall NEVER admit!”

    (Reader, choose the genders you think make this funny and apt. Then
    reverse them, because [cough] this may apply to you.)

  31. Kirk Miller says:

    When the man had doors slammed in his face,
    He was injured, must wear a neck brace.
    He decided to sue,
    And he won, ’cause he knew
    That his suit was an open and shut case.

  32. Kirk Miller says:

    “They have tres leche cake at this place.”
    Thought she’d buy some. That wasn’t the case.
    When ’twas time to move on,
    Turned around; she was gone.
    Disappeared, and without any tres.

  33. Randy Wagner says:

    Lothario played the string bass
    While seducing the ladies. Said Grace,
    “That immense instrument
    Has me tingling and spent.
    Put it back in your pants (and its case)!”

  34. Randy Wagner says:

    While browsing around a bookcase,
    The librarian came face-to-face
    With a volume of Lear.
    Now she’s writing, I fear,
    Killer lims as a droll “coup de grace.”

    Ouch!

  35. Kirk Miller says:

    When he sailed on his ship he lost face,
    ‘Cause he entered a nation’s water space.
    In the court he did plea,
    Since it turned out to be
    An invasion of private sea case.

  36. Randy Wagner says:

    Sherlock’s fetishes swayed every case
    As he sleuthed and prepared to give chase.
    “‘The game is a foot!’
    Is extremely well put,”
    Quipped this bootlicking wearer of lace.

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    Benjamin had a nasty case
    of bad herpes he acquired from Grace
    She said, “That’s not true!
    You got it from Sue”
    Then she kicked him in his special place

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    Never make friends with a stubborn lady
    You’ll think she’s nice, but she’s a bit shady
    She’ll say it’s night
    Even though it’s light
    You’re better off with a dog named Sadie

  39. Dave Johnson says:

    She said “Come on up to my place.”
    With that come-hither look on her face.
    His heart skipped a beat;
    Now we’re full and complete
    With another cliche – just in case.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    When in the Mid East. if you spot a case
    Run as fast as you can at a speedy pace
    It might be money
    But OH! Honey
    You don’t want something to blow up in your face!

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    STUBBORN 13 YEAR OLD

    Don’t stand there like a block of ice
    Learn to dance; take my advice!
    You’ll have some fun
    And when you’re done
    You’ll realize that touching the girls is nice

  42. Wipe that smile off your face
    I can clearly now rest my case
    We promised not to cheat
    But I found the receipt
    And that, my Dear, is your fall from grace

  43. Don’t marry a stubborn hotshot
    You’ll argue till you’re overwrought
    It will never stop
    Until you flop
    “Should we recycle. or should we not?”

  44. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    I’m writing these words just in case
    Madkane should decide to embrace
    My lim’rickal skill.
    I’ll continue until
    I win the grand prize in this space.

  45. The election this year makes the case
    We must put you-know-who in her place.
    Who’s the man for the gig:
    Antichrist? Sexist pig?
    Let’s all write in our vote – NANCY GRACE.

  46. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Stephen Fleming:

    The glory of winning first place
    Eludes me; I gave up the chase
    It’s still fun to immerse
    In, I can’t do much worse
    But I’ll still write a verse, just in case.

  47. Suzanne Heymann says:

    He’s as stubborn as any old mule
    Admitting defeat ‘isn’t cool’
    He’s obviously wrong
    But his ego’s too strong
    To say, “Sorry, I’ve been such a fool.”

  48. I’ve the typical Taurean pique
    (also known as a mean stubborn streak).
    Once my way is revealed,
    I’ll hold fast and not yield.
    It’s just part of my bullish mystique.

  49. All young males raised in St. Dominique
    Hone the skills of their sexual technique.
    If their foreplay’s “foul play”
    All they’ll hear is “NO WAY.”
    A smackdown by fem’nine mystique!

  50. Mark Kane says:

    Attention all attorneys:

    In ‘Night Court’ there’s case after case,
    So in order to speed up the pace,
    Make all speeches brief
    And give us relief,
    Or the wrath of your judge you will face.

  51. David Reddekopp says:

    I imagine one could make the case
    That the White House may soon be his place
    Donald Trump thinks he’ll trounce
    But will never pronounce
    The word right when he says he’s an ace.

  52. David Reddekopp says:

    I’m as stubborn as stubborn can be
    Show me proof and aloofly, I flee.
    No concessions to science
    No facts, just defiance
    That’s why I remain YEC*.

    *young earth creationist.

  53. David Reddekopp says:

    I see my faux pas…in my last one, please change L2 to “Show me proof and aloofly, I flee”

    From MBK: Done.

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    He refuses to honor their wishes
    And scale back the garbage he dishes.
    The pathway’s now clear
    For the ending they fear:
    Their party will swim with the fishes.

  55. Dave Johnson says:

    Right-wingers keep telling us that
    This climate change ain’t where it’s at.
    When they had their say
    Way back in the day,
    They told us the whole world was flat.

  56. Tim James says:

    He’s quite cautious, too timid to face
    Any loss. He’s insured to replace
    All he owns on this earth
    At three times what it’s worth.
    And the name of this dude? Justin Case.

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    DIVORCE COURT

    The judge had an unusual case
    Concerning Jim and Sally Grace
    The plaintiff said
    She looks like “The Living Dead”
    Every morning when he looks at her face

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    We’re tired of his stubborn pitch
    And reminding us that he’s so rich
    He thinks he’s smart
    But for the most part
    He’s just a plain old son of a bitch

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    The FBI says they have a case
    But will they say it to her face?
    She hopes they forget
    And she does regret
    That she messed around in cyberspace

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    Harper Lee was a stubborn old goat
    Because she never did promote
    Another story
    To bring her glory
    And that, my friends, is all she wrote

  61. Allen Wilcox says:

    In the tradition of Fleming and Heymann.

    A limerick contest is in
    The orbit of “chuckle and grin”.
    I’ll never stop entering,
    Though I may need some mentoring,
    And I’ll never stop hoping to win.

  62. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Allen Wilcox:

    The psychology hidden within
    Of why everyone wants to win
    Makes us all, I admit
    Just too stubborn to quit
    So then why?! (Don’t know where to begin)

    There’s no trophy, no money, or place
    For a photo op showing your face
    A few moments of fame
    To a stranger’s full name
    But we still play the game, just in case.

    Though competing is hard to resist
    Other reasons to enter, exist
    ‘Self-expression’ is one
    And another is ‘fun’
    Test your skills with a pun or a twist.

    Creativity must be let out
    Just like winners at bingo must shout
    Or like noise you impart
    Of a long-suppressed fart
    It all comes from the heart – there’s no doubt!

  63. Andy Sewina says:

    THE MAGICIANS DAUGHTER

    She packed herself inside a flaming case
    So nobody could even see her face
    She did it for a joke
    Then just went up in smoke
    And quickly disappeared without a trace

    110516

  64. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Now the poets can’t help me save face
    After putting them all in their place
    At first, hardly any
    Then poof! Far too many
    Those few weeks ago
    I would tactlessly show
    The ‘dumb lot’ how they flubbed in this case.

    Inconsistency was their weak point
    Should have just told ’em all, “Smoke a joint!”
    Then just watch the rhymes fly
    As they’re all getting high
    And hear limericists self-anoint.

    (Yes I know, I broke a major limerick-writing rule, but oh well, I don’t expect to be crowned Miss Limerick any time soon)

  65. Allen Wilcox says:

    To: Suzanne Heymann

    You have pretty well wrapped it up. Congrats!

  66. Allen Wilcox says:

    It was limerick night.
    I continued to write,
    But I faced an unusual case.
    Something seemed to be quite out of place.
    The lines just were not right.

    I pondered what might be so strange,
    ‘Til I found that if I could arrange
    To squeeze 3 and 4
    And stretch the rest more,
    Then all of them thrived from the change.

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Allen Wilcox:

    Thanks! But your confusion-oriented one above is a stroke of genius; and you were able to break a limerick-writing rule, but did so legitimately, Mr. Limerick!

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    “TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD”

    Harper Lee was a stubborn old goat
    Because she never did promote
    Another story
    To bring her glory
    But that , my friends, is all she wrote

  69. Allen Wilcox says:

    Good limerick writing’s a race
    To a sadly anonymous place.
    Perhaps I should mention
    To get more attention,
    I’ve decided to use UPPER CASE.

  70. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Allen Wilcox:

    Sorry, you’re too late to do it
    David Reddekopp – he beat you to it
    But there’s no reason why
    You can’t give it a try
    I’ll be waiting; I’d sure like to view it.

    If it’s pressure you think you now face
    Hey, don’t worry about UPPER CASE
    The size of each letter
    Won’t make the poem better
    Just your talent you use in that space.

  71. Barry Solomons says:

    Limerick-Off/Case

    With his girlfriend, he’d often embrace
    Hoping to get to third base,
    But with a blow-up doll
    And some cheap alcohol
    Kept in reserve, just in case.

    Barry Solomons
    Manchester
    U.K.

  72. Patrick Malone says:

    Donald Trump is a noteworthy case,
    A nominee without any grace.
    A misogynist racist,
    Whose views are the basest,
    He needs a good punch in the face.

  73. Susan Settje says:

    The surgeon removed any trace
    Of the features that once made her face
    Appear common, mundane–
    Just another plain Jane.
    In Stepford, that’s always the case.

  74. cphenly says:

    There once was a fish wife who’d race
    ‘Round her shop guarding every glass case.
    If you hear the old trout
    Give a shout, best get out
    Or she’ll chase you all over the plaice.

  75. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Fred’s in a cryotic case
    A strange look preserved on his face
    Hips fingers and Knees
    Embryos in the freeze
    To donate,or to ditch, or replace.

  76. Allen Wilcox says:

    To David Reddekopp and Suzanne Heymann:

    Well, I guess I’ve been put in my place
    For deciding to use upper case.
    So I will be gallant and,
    Rely just on my talent and,
    I’ll save not only ink, I’ll save face.

  77. Diane Groothuis says:

    I can put up a very strong case
    That Australia’s the World’s nicest place
    With mountains and lakes
    And kangas and snakes..
    In conclusion we have lots of space.

  78. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To Allen Wilcox:

    Upper case was a rat in this race
    Which your talent, with ease, did outpace
    You did not disappoint
    If I could, I’d anoint
    You to win an award in this case.

  79. Tim James says:

    He’s not stubborn, he “principled.” See?
    Not obsessed, “laser-focused” is he.
    It’s the same old refrain:
    Life involves much less pain
    When it’s viewed euphemistically.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    Jack and Jill had a race
    Jill was running at a faster pace
    Jack caught up
    Then threw up
    Girls are superior; I rest my case

  81. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Two mobsters looked so out of place
    As each carried a violin case
    Booze was inside of one
    In the other – a gun
    You could say they have shooters to chase.

  82. Suzanne Heymann says:

    All naked, locked in an embrace
    They laid by a big fireplace
    With music and wine
    She would tingle his spine
    As they gazed into each other’s face.

    Then wifeypoo walked in their space
    And she yelled, “You’re a bloody disgrace!
    You’re screwing our neighbor
    While I work and labor
    You aren’t so hard to replace!”

    With an anvil, this woman gave chase
    And whacked them both square in the face
    She made ninety hot toddies
    By melting their bodies
    And selling them all by the case.

    The orders came at a fast pace
    To fill them became such a race
    She hired a bum
    To go buy some more rum
    Then she melted him too, just in case.

    An inspector stopped by at her place
    She invited him up the staircase
    With no clothes, just a bed
    Then whacked him in the head
    And guess why? Yep, a hot toddy base.

    Then the cops came; she only wore lace
    As she fluttered and bounced with such grace
    They used the wrong pistol
    And each time they’d miss till
    She shot them with two cans of mace.

    I ran out of words rhymed with case
    And I’m using up far too much space
    So now you know why
    I must tell you “Goodbye”
    And say, “Go home and kiss your wife’s face.”

  83. Suzanne Heymann says:

    It’s all right to be stubborn if you
    Know the facts that are all tried and true
    Your pure neutral notion
    Unskewed by emotion
    Will justify all that you do.

    Just do it with tact and some grace
    And use that in every case
    It only takes once
    To be wrong as a dunce
    Then diplomacy’s sure to save face.

  84. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I went fishing; oh what a disgrace!
    I ended up red in the face
    Not from being well done
    By the rays of the sun
    But from shame of just catching a dace!

    (I can just see most of you looking up the word ‘dace’, hehehe.
    Yes, girls and boys, we learn something new every day…)

  85. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Inconsistency/stubbornness rules
    With these poets, such obstinate mules
    They do, then they don’t
    When they will, when they won’t
    But they pick the same day to be fools!

    They’re scarce now, they must have spring fever
    All busier than a damn beaver
    It’s pandemic worldwide
    They’re all playing outside
    Where’s that trapdoor? Let ME pull the lever!

  86. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Sausage-makers will say to your face
    Keep the meat stuck together in place
    Turn the crank, let them out
    A bagged sausage should sprout
    But if you’re still in doubt, just encase.

  87. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If you make some mistakes, just erase
    Then put the corrections in place
    That also applies
    When life’s problems arise
    You’ll get wise from your tries in each case.

  88. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Stubbornness-Themed Limerick Winner and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick-Off Award 252

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Stay.