Limerick Stake (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who relished his steak…*


A gal with a fortune at stake…*


A fellow was driving a stake…*


A fellow had promised to stake…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Stake
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gold digger, relishing steak,
Found himself in a pickle: The rake
Had far more than one wife.
Each was pointing a knife
At his torso. His prospect’s a wake.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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43 Responses to “Limerick Stake (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Jon Gearhart says:

    If you’ve got some money at stake
    On a team race on Bosporous, make
    The choice and then go
    Buy a boat they can row.
    Keep it simple and get them sleek caique!

  2. Jon Gearhart says:

    Mad, since when does great rhyme with steak and rake? LOL! Were you drunk posting??

  3. madkane says:

    Jon, thanks for alerting me! I’ve fixed it. I blame post-election depression for my screw-up .

    Plus tequila. :)

  4. Jon Gearhart says:

    There once was a man named Bob Staake
    Whose cartoons could make your sides ache.
    I often laugh with him
    And his sense of pith whim
    Is more than my poor sides can take.

  5. Jon Gearhart says:

    I choked on a big hunk of steak
    And they couldn’t dislodge it. To take
    It out they cut in
    To my throat through the skin
    And for now I must breathe through this trach.

  6. Jon Gearhart says:

    At the Wal-Mart, I bought me some “stake.”
    Their misspelling should shake me awake
    To the fact buying meat
    From there’s not worth repeat
    Unless you seek steak that is fake…

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    A fellow was driving a stake
    Through Count Dracula’s heart – piece of cake! –
    When he felt – what the heck? –
    A sharp pain in his neck.
    “Surprise!” said the Count, “I’m awake!”

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    They had burnt Joan of Arc at the stake,
    And the French all complained “For God’s sake!
    Meat that’s rare is good fun,
    But she’s quite overdone –
    You English don’t know how to bake.”

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    She gorged on potatoes and steak,
    But was always as thin as a rake.
    When they asked “How d’you do it?”
    She said “I just chew it,
    Then spit it all out in the lake.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    Three kings! I decided to stake
    All I’d got, I was certain to make.
    But the other guy saw me,
    And laid down before me
    Four kings! One of us was a fake.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    Her good reputation at stake,
    The hooker decided to take
    Some advice. To her john
    She cried “Baby, come on!”,
    And he never detected the fake.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    I had ordered the chargrilled ground steak,
    But they brought me some fish, maybe hake.
    The waiter said “Sheet,
    We done run out of meat,
    So it’s that, or the chargrilled ground snake.”

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    She had made an appalling mistake
    And her stomach was starting to ache.
    He said “Swallow, all right?”
    So she took a great bite,
    Then she swallowed the whole of his jake.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    My career as screenwriter at stake,
    I embarked on a splendid remake
    Of “Gone with the Wind”,
    But my last line was binned –
    “My dear, I don’t give a corn-flake.”

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal with a fortune at stake
    To paradox, she was awake.
    Her pension/savings in stocks
    Had put her into a box.
    She hoped that she wasn’t a fake.

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had promised to stake
    Her feelings- she was wide awake.
    He brought her such joy,
    And she wasn’t coy,
    And would never put on the brake.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal with a fortune at stake
    Decided to cook and to bake.
    Yes, she will surely succeed
    For good pastries there’s a need.
    She knows how to make a great cake!

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal with a fortune at stake
    Decided to cook and to bake.
    Yes, she will surely succeed
    For good pastries, there’s a knead…
    She knows how to make a great cake!

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow who relished his steak
    Had met a hot gal on the make.
    She said, “I taste better!”
    He agreed to let her…
    And so in her, he did partake.

  20. Ailsa McKillop says:

    In some butter I fry sirloin steak
    And with mushrooms and cream the sauce make
    This Paleo’s amazing
    In energy raising
    Just don’t tell my GP (the old fake).

  21. John Sardo says:

    A gal with a fortune at stake
    Met a guy who was on the make
    She thought him a great find
    But of course she was blind
    To the snake who her fortune would take.
    A gal with a fortune at stake
    Fell in love with a royalty fake.
    So her he’d convince
    He was really a prince.
    But forsooth he turned into a snake.
    A gal with a fortune at stake
    Too soon met a guy name of Jake.
    He seemed a fine fellow
    Whose talk was quite mellow.
    But Jake sadly proved a rake on the make.
    Now Jake was a rake who relished his steak.
    He formed a bad habit he just couldn’t break.
    He ate steak every meal
    Till it lost its appeal.
    And Jake his bad habit he soon would forsake.
    The story of Jake and his barbecued steak.
    Warns bad habits we quickly must break.
    Now he ate every meal
    Of snake and would reel
    For only of snake could Jake now partake.
    The story ends sadly for Jake and a snake.
    It’s one for all time that just takes the cake.
    He chased vipers all day
    Till at last he would slay
    A snake in a lake with a long garden rake.
    Now the gal with the fortune at stake
    Soon found she’d made a mistake.
    A snake she would wed
    And take it to bed
    But the dough it would blow for heaven’s sake.

  22. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow who relished his steak
    Went to a Bronx steakhouse, named, “Jake’s”.
    It’s supposed to be the best,
    So he put it to the test.
    “It’s so yummy, all should partake!”

  23. Tim James says:

    I dine her on lobster and steak
    While her eyes flash a lust that’s not fake.
    Then she promises more
    As her clothes hit the floor.
    And at that exact moment — I wake.

  24. John Armstrong says:

    A fellow who relished his steak,
    Potato and two layer cake
    Tossed all in a blender
    So it would render
    A marvelous high protein shake

  25. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow while relishing steak
    Saw a model step out of a cake
    He said that one wonders
    Why they wear no unders
    As cho co late’s so cheap to make,

    (I suppose everone has chocolate boxer shorts or undies like they do in certain places over here.)

  26. Jon Gearhart says:

    With the fate of the world’s oil at stake,
    We attacked the Mideast. Now we take
    Our time to help build
    Up new business. They’re thrilled
    When we ask, “You want fries with that, Shaik?”

  27. Randy Mazie says:

    A fellow had promised to stake
    a girl who really could rake
    in lots of money
    ’cause she screwed like a bunny.
    but she hopped out with the cash at daybreak.


    A fellow had promised to stake
    a dancer who was semi-opaque.
    But when they saw through her,
    this poor entrepreneur
    admitted it was a mistake.

    A fellow had promised to stake
    a blind man who could charm a snake.
    But at the first show,
    it was all touch and go,
    as both actors turned out to be fake.

    The Writer’s Village

  28. Bob Leggett says:

    A fellow require a steak
    To rectify a mistake
    Not to grill or fry
    But to place on an eye
    Turned black when he stood on rake

  29. Mark Kane says:

    The sign says their burgers are steak,
    But I’m certain that’s nothing but fake.
    I simply don’t buy it,
    So I’ll stick to my diet,
    And just order fries with my shake.

  30. billgncs says:

    A fellow had promised a steak
    to a woman he wanted to take
    out for wine and romancing
    and music and dancing
    and afterwards wanted to make

  31. Kurt Krueger says:

    I believe I have something at stake
    The election was just a mistake
    My name is Obama
    And I do like the drama
    So over the coals I’ve been raked

  32. yt cai says:

    Once they tied poor Joan to the stake
    There wasn’t much more she could take
    Her captor asked for a match
    She said his face n’ her snatch
    That’s where this joke started to bake

    Some now say this must be a mistake
    In confusion defenders would quake
    For that ain’t Joan of Arc
    But was the moan of snark
    Apologies if I somehow mis-spake

  33. Fred Bortz says:

    Our nuclear future’s at stake,
    ‘Cause after Japan’s massive quake,
    The meltdowns were scary
    And unnecessary
    If TEPCO had been wide awake.

  34. Jon Gearhart says:

    They were set to be grilled up like steak
    In some cannibal African bake.
    They had to be dressed
    In a way that was best
    To portray them, and so they used haik.

    Please delete the other one. L2 was incorrect.

  35. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A Stake Through The Bake

    A huntsman who was driving a stake 
    Up state for his dear Nana’s grand bake
     Thought:” it’s grisly to share”
     So he joined a brown bear 
    And had stake at the lake – fuck the bake.

  36. Byron Ives says:

    His feathery ass was at stake,
    And about to get reamed in the lake
    “Get off of my back
    You near-sighted quack,
    I’m not a damn hen, I’m a drake!”

  37. Allen Wilcox says:

    A behemoth drove in a stake
    That made California shake,
    But the faullt didn’t part.
    Said he, shocked, “Bless my heart,
    I think that I made a misquake.”

  38. Allen Wilcox says:

    So Paddy broiled up a large steak
    To take to friend Sean to partake.
    Whispered Sean,”This is great,
    But you procrastinate.
    Is that why you brought it to my wake?”

  39. Allen Wilcox says:

    Eve and Adam were munching on steak
    When along came a devilish snake.
    When his fruit they dismissed,
    It grew angry and hissed,
    “Oh, please take a bite for God’s sake.”

  40. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    When the cannibal finished his steak:
    “All their babble would make my head ache,
    And their crackers and wine
    Didn’t taste that divine,
    But evangelists aren’t hard to take.”

  41. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Oops, this is the version I should have posted:

    When the cannibal finished his steak:
    “All their babble would make my head ache,
    And their crackers and wine
    Didn’t taste too divine,
    But evangelists aren’t hard to take.”

  42. A fellow who relished his steak
    Did order some squirrel by mistake
    He ate the entire
    Set his stomach on fire
    Now he only eats vegies and cake

  43. madkane says:

    And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 189.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Light Limerick.