Limerick Slate (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

Her eyes were the color of slate…*

or

I’m forgetful — my mind’s a blank slate…*

or

The roofer was working with slate…*

or

Let’s start over, I’m begging — clean slate…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Slate
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Let’s start over, I’m begging — clean slate.
I’ll make sure that our next date is great.
Last night’s dinner, it’s true
Was no winner, dear Sue.
But I vow to step up to the plate.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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58 Responses to “Limerick Slate (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Fred Bortz says:


    A History Lesson in Five Lines

    Gerry Ford said to Nixon, “Clean slate.”
    Though the Dems had cried out, “We can’t wait
    To see Dick in the dock,
    Then caged up with a lock.”
    Was Ford right? It’s still up for debate.

  2. Fred Bortz says:

    Fred Bortz With Agnew on Tricky Dick’s slate,
    The country would first have to wait
    For Crook 2 to resign.
    Then the boss was in line
    To receive his appropriate fate.

    But then Gerry Ford cleared the slate,
    Leaving us in a dubious state.
    But there’s one thing for sure,
    When a pol is impure,
    Then the scandal will end with a “gate.”

  3. Fred Bortz says:

    With Agnew on Tricky Dick’s slate,
    The country would first have to wait
    For Crook 2 to resign.
    Then the boss was in line
    To receive his appropriate fate.

    But then Gerry Ford cleared the slate,
    Leaving us in a dubious state.
    But there’s one thing for sure,
    When a pol is impure,
    Then the scandal will end with a “gate.”

  4. Rosanna says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate,
    Which made it easy to attract a mate.
    She didn’t even have to try,
    The men they would simply fly
    Like insects fighting over food on a plate.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    His teeth are the colour of slate;
    He walks with a simian gait;
    He has a huge belly
    That shakes like a jelly -
    That’s why he prefers a blind date.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    The ice was the colour of slate
    As the girl did a figure-of-eight.
    I had climbed up a tree
    So I watched her for free;
    People tell me I’m just a cheap skate.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    His skin was the colour of slate;
    The doctor advised him to wait
    Till a cure could be found,
    But he’s now undergound -
    Both the cure and the patient are late.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    “Just put all my drinks on the slate”
    I told Joe the bartender, “I’m late.”
    But he wasn’t so pally
    And showed me the tally,
    The price of a small Balkan state.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    The kid scribbled pictures on slate;
    The critics all said they were great!
    People queued up to see ’em
    In Kansas Museum
    And called them “the art of the State”.

  10. Chris Doyle says:

    If you look for prez you can slate
    For dishonesty, Nixon would rate.
    He deceived us aplenty,
    Resigned, and then twenty
    Years later was lying in state.

    Nixon resigned in ’74 and died in ’94.

  11. Chris Doyle says:

    With an Aussie tour topping his slate,
    William tended to matters of state.
    He could not have foretold
    What the world would behold
    On his trip — the “down under” of Kate.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    Her eyes were the colour of slate …
    I was hoping for sex with my date.
    But after we’d wined
    And we’d dined, she declined
    My suggestion to conjugate.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    I’m reluctant to knock or to slate
    Other parents, but frankly I hate
    All those babies that squeal;
    When I hear them, I feel
    A strange yearning for Herod the Great.

  14. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    He fell and his face hit the slate,
    ‘Cause he’d drunk at a staggering rate,
    But the meth and some coke
    Caused his death with a stroke.
    Seems that his was a horrible fête.

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    Einstein did all the sums on a slate,
    And his findings he had to relate:
    “As I’m sure you’ll agree,
    EM² = C,
    And the meaning of this is … oh, wait!”

  16. Tom Hale says:

    Let’s start over, I’m begging—clean slate.
    Flip and shake like an Etch A Sketch, Kate.
    “I like your new plan,
    And I think I can
    To a tabula rasa relate.”

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    What Fred and Chris forgot to tell us:

    … But Bill was the fellow they slate
    For those cravings that no one could sate.
    “Acute indigestion?”
    Was Monica’s question.
    “It must have been something I ate.”

  18. Brian Allgar says:

    Just being helpful …

    Although I’m reluctant to slate
    Other writers, I’m driven to state
    That a falsified rhyme
    Or a metrical crime
    Is the death of your limerick, mate.

  19. Jen Harris says:

    I’m forgetful — my mind’s a blank slate
    But poetry can carry weight
    Now – what was I writing?
    For what am I fighting?
    Please prize me, before it’s too late.

  20. John Sardo says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate.
    Though their charm invited a fete
    T’was her dance in a thong
    That thrilled the great throng
    As she twerked to a feverish state.

  21. John Sardo says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate
    In a mate a lust they’d create.
    So she’d lead them along
    Then sing a sad song
    And leave the poor mate at the gate.

  22. John Sardo says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate
    Her best feature there is no debate.
    They dance when she smiles
    Enhance all her wiles
    As she conquers poor mate after mate.

  23. Errol Nimbly says:

    When the maid’s on all fours scrubbing slate
    She will sometimes invite me to ‘date’.
    While such unfriendly flooring
    Seems no place for whoring,
    The knee pads we use are first rate.

  24. Fred Bortz says:

    A Creationist studying slate
    Used each of its layers to date
    From the first protozoa
    To the deluge of Noah.
    I did not give his theories much weight.

    The conclusion he drew from the slate,
    That the age of the tectonic plate
    Was a mere six millennia,
    Did not match what many a
    Geological paper would state.

    Of his viewpoint, I’ll say that it’s late
    In the evidence game that you state
    We should chuck Evolution
    And endorse devolution
    To God’s biblical words, “I create.”

  25. Bob Dvorak says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate
    Some say gray’s full of enmity, hate.
    But the black-and-white stages
    That come at our ages?
    These contacts build fires in my mate.

  26. Phyllis S Smith says:

    I’m forgetful. My mind’s a blank slate.
    Can’t remember a name or a date.
    Unfortunate, true,
    If it happened to you
    You’ve forgotten the name of your mate!

  27. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The sea was the color of slate
    When we spied her afloat on a crate.
    Once aboard our small ship
    She began a slow strip,
    So we drew to see who she’d first mate.

  28. RIch D says:

    Her eyes are the color of slate
    and her ears were fuzzy and great
    Ain’t talkin’ no guppy
    I just got a puppy
    So cute she has sealed my fate

  29. Jon Gearhart says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate,
    Black pools with starred jewels that relate
    A depth I could swim in
    Like no other women.
    The heavens sent her. It is fate…

  30. yt cai says:

    Our class blackboard was a clean slate
    Until that day that I showed up late
    When asked why the delay
    All I really could say
    Was nothing there ending debate

    The teacher said son that’s just great
    Quietness has thus sealed your fate
    Go write one hundred times
    “I’m not one of those mimes”
    Silence couldn’t be harder to translate

    Chalk dragging has a way to grate
    It’s a sound that’s too easy to hate
    So next time on the blocks
    I’ll think out of the box
    Not acting like I’m stuck in a crate

  31. Jon Gearhart says:

    I’m forgetful — my mind’s a blank slate.
    It’s regretful of me to tempt fate
    By trying to write
    A limerick tonight
    That ends with a line that is funny.

  32. yt cai says:

    When fracking smashed thru the slate
    Much landscape began to deflate
    It not really a quake
    So just ignore that shake
    Sign here to buy this hole real estate

  33. yt cai says:

    The clean up hitter was next on the slate
    Became nervous to approach home plate
    The ump noticed he’s up
    When checking for a cup
    A curve ball or a batter who’s straight

  34. Chris Doyle says:

    Mad Kane keeps providing a slate
    Of first rhymes we employ to create
    Works of art, so to speak,
    That get “likes” every week.
    (For this limerick I seek about 8.)

  35. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate,
    And her head was as hard, I must state,
    But her heart was quite soft;
    I would glimpse this quite oft,
    ‘Cause ’twas kept by the bed on a plate.

  36. Val Fish says:

    OMG, my mind’s a blank slate
    I’m nauseous and six weeks late
    I’ve just peed on a stick
    I’m going to be sick!
    That thin blue line has sealed my fate

  37. scott says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate,
    her breasts would increase my heart rate,
    and now that I think,
    of the part that was pink,
    this last line will just have to wait.

  38. Allen Wilcox says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate,
    And with them she withered her date.
    As he tried to erect
    He heard her interject
    “You’ve come up with too little too late.”

  39. Allen Wilcox says:

    I’m forgetful – my mind’s a blank slate.
    I don’t know when this state will abate.
    While I hope for a sign
    To find a fifth lin,
    II quess I’ll just rhyme here and wait

  40. Tim James says:

    Her eyes were the color of slate
    And her oral endurance? First-rate.
    Half a dozen and two
    Guys collapsed while she blew.
    It all proved that she sure could fell eight.

  41. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    “Let’s start over, I’m begging—clean slate?”
    “I’m not sure,” said the longliner’s mate,
    “We’re not here to have fun;
    We’ve got work to be done,
    So you choose: either fish or cut bait!”

  42. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    At this pub that’s named Squeaky’s Clean Slate,
    The gruff bartender said: “Let’s go, mate!”
    Even though I was shaky,
    I replied: “You best make me.”
    Thus began our erotic first date.

    Yes, I know my B-rhymes aren’t pure, but I hope you find this clever enough to move past that.

  43. Val Fish says:

    I’m forgetful – my mind’s a blank slate
    My memory’s lapsing of late
    It’s dementia I dread
    I’d sooner be dead
    And reunited with my soulmate

  44. Judith H. Block says:

    A fossil between layers of slate..
    Of a fish exposed in the cracked plate,
    Such well preserved bones,
    Right there in the stones!
    It’s probably Devonian, Late.

  45. CJ@ProArtz says:

    I’m aging —my mind’s a blank slate.
    My hair loss reveals a bald pate.
    I’m so ready to squeal
    Over lost sex appeal.
    My only gain, lately, is weight.

    (Oh, gees, I hope I’m not late.
    I guess I made you all wait.
    I’m new here, you see —
    My excuse has to be:
    My poem failed to pro-create.)

  46. Tim James says:

    Her eyes are the color of slate
    And her abs form a granite-hard grate.
    She rebuffs my advances
    With cold, flinty glances.
    She’s a rock that I just can’t ablate.

  47. Val Fish says:

    I’m forgetful – my mind’s a blank slate
    I fear I’ve reached that depressing state
    When dementia takes hold
    How I hate being old
    Just lead me the way to heaven’s gate

  48. DanielAri says:

    A new poetry form, the limeronnet (or the sonnerick) is a 14-line limerick with sonnet-like rhyme pattern. Here’s the second ever written:

    “Noir scene”

    Her eyes were the color of slate.
    She spoke with an oracle’s weight.
    The candles burned low;
    I thought I should go.
    This wasn’t my kind of a date,
    all this talk of an exigent fate
    and an imminent blow—
    but how could she know
    that just at a quarter past eight
    a thug with a murderous gait
    approached me to throw
    a punch from below
    that knocked me clean out on my plate.
    When I woke it was horribly late.

  49. Allen Wilcox says:

    The roofer was working with slate
    Aed slipped as he shifted his weight.
    .Said he, on the ground,
    “I think that I,ve found
    That I’m good but I’m clearly not great.”

  50. Mark Kane says:

    Let’s start over, I’m begging — clean slate?
    These blind dates just never end great.
    My pic, which you saw,
    On the web had one flaw,
    But trust me, I am losing weight.

  51. John Armstrong says:

    Descartes loved his blank slate
    To existence he tried to relate
    He cogitoed ergo sum
    To while away his gloom
    The horse before Descartes was sensate

    He created a tabular Rasa
    While roaming about the casa
    I think there for I am
    Made him happy as a clam
    I am I if only in my calabasa

  52. P Diane Schneider says:

    I’m forgetful, My mind’s a Blank slate
    And its true that I often am late
    Cause I got so fat
    At dinner I sat
    And could not remember I ate

  53. John Armstrong says:

    I’m a victim of auto correct
    It vexes me like a blank check
    “tablula rasa” should be read
    in the verse above my head
    All I can say is gosh, darn, and heck

  54. Allen Wilcox says:

    Sorry. Corrected version.

    I”m forgetful – my mind’s a blank slate
    I don’t know when this state will abate.
    While I hope for a sign
    To find a fifth line,
    I guess I”ll just rhyme here and wait.

  55. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I write for the e-zine named Slate
    On how humans, um, interrelate.
    With regard to this topic
    Some claim I’m myopic,
    Since I’ve never been on a date.

  56. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 167.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Rite.

  57. Jon Gearhart says:

    Just ignore me. I’m working on almost no sleep the past two nights.

  58. Jon Gearhart says:

    Some liberals lean so far from right
    There’s no sense of balance in sight.
    Pubs so far from left
    They develop a cleft
    In their cheeks ’cause their ass is to tight!