A Limerick Must (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman whose hair was all mussed…*

or

The boutique smelled of mildew and must…*

or

Good grades are an absolute must…*

or

You shall do what I say. It’s a must…*

or

The winemaker showed me his must…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Limerick Must
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman whose hair was all mussed
Appeared wind-blown — she blamed a strong gust.
But she’d slept with her ex
And was winded from sex;
Lust with gusto, whose end was a bust.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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60 Responses to “A Limerick Must (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Phyllis L says:

    “You shall do what I say. It’s a must.”
    “But I can’t. It’s a matter of trust.”
    “Better do what I say.”
    “No, I won’t! There’s no way!”
    And I rode away, kicking up dust.

  2. Charley Simmons says:

    The old car smells of mildew and must.
    In and out it is covered with rust.
    Once a shiny black Caddie,
    Proudly driven by my Daddy.
    Fond memories rise up through the dust.

  3. Rebecca Bourgeois says:

    “Good grades are an absolute must,
    Lest your scholarship one day go bust”
    Said a tired concerned father
    To his son the carouser,
    Whose grades, at exams, bit the dust.

  4. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Any fine first edition’s old must
    From a volume as rare as gold dust
    Maybe penned with a quill:
    An olfactory thrill
    To the duke of the uppermost crust.

  5. Ailsa McKillop says:

    In the high winds my hair became mussed
    How I raged and I swore, for I’d just
    Thanks to coiffeuse’ technique
    Achieved tresses so sleek!
    Balaclava’d I me in disgust.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Inga’s clothes were dishevelled and mussed;
    The wife found her husband and cussed:
    “I have told you before,
    The au pair’s not a whore,
    So you’ve not paid her this time, I trust!”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    The crypt smells of mildew and must.
    I stare at the coffin, nonplussed.
    Though it’s Dracula’s place,
    Of the Count there’s no trace,
    Just a stake that’s the colour of rust.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    His mother said: “Marvin, you must
    Eat the crust of your sandwiches – just
    Give a thought to the starvin’ …”
    “I’m thinkin’ “, said Marvin,
    “I’d happily send ‘em the crust.”

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    William Shakespeare insists that we must,
    Like chimney-sweeps, end up as dust.
    The thought’s melancholic,
    But meanwhile, let’s frolic -
    Seven sins, and especially lust.

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    Though turkey’s considered a must
    At Thanksgiving, sometimes I just
    Have a nostalgic wish
    For those whole roasted fish,
    And I pray for “O Cod, whom we trussed.”

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman whose hair was all mussed
    No matter how much combed and fussed.
    Cut/gave it a style
    Which should last a while.
    Unless there was a strong wind gust.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    Good grades are an absolute must
    At Yale- or end up in the dust!
    “W”s “GENTLEMAN’S ‘C’” :
    YAY! Bush family tree!
    He knew that “In DAD, he could trust”.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    ” You shall do what I say. It’s a must.”
    He said as deep inside her, he thrust.
    She wanted him badly;
    She’d yield to him gladly.
    They were a good match in their strong lust.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Dubbya, “Ya do what ya must;
    That war in Iraq, it was just.
    If I’m lyin’, Sir, well,
    May I end up in hell!”
    And the Devil, he laughed fit to bust.

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    For the President, sex was a must;
    He graded each session of lust,
    And Monica knew
    That whenever she blew
    She was certain to be alpha-plussed.

  16. Mark Kane says:

    A woman whose hair was all mussed,
    Soon learned to adjust to each thrust.
    As they rolled on a couch,
    She stifled an “Ouch!”
    Giving in to her passion and lust.

  17. Kirk Miller says:

    The man’s horny and knows that he must
    Tell his wife that he’s feeling much lust.
    If his wife’s in the mood,
    He’ll suggest something lewd
    And then hope that his wife gets his thrust.

  18. Fred Bortz says:

    The couple emerged very mussed
    From a tryst that had sated their lust.
    They enjoyed S and M,
    He informed us: “Ahem,
    Yes she is the one that I trussed.”

  19. Jon Gearhart says:

    The young winemaker showed off his must
    To the sculptress he hired whom had just
    Commenced doing him in clay.
    It was quite a display.
    He pressed on and sprayed seed on her bust!

  20. scott says:

    A woman whose hair is all mussed,
    avows that the wind is robust,
    though everyone sees,
    by the dirt on her knees,
    it was caused by a blow not a gust.

  21. Rik Jespersen says:

    A woman whose hair was all mussed
    Said no matter how much she fussed
    She couldn’t unfurl
    The unsightly whorl
    And wondered if it could be trussed

    A woman whose hair was all mussed
    Said she had now lost all her trust
    In straightening gels
    With perfumey smells
    And grabbed her scissors in disgust

  22. John Peter Larkin says:

    Good grades are an absolute must.
    That’s advice that you students can trust.
    If you goof off and coast,
    when you’re done, at the most,
    you’ll likely be left in the dust.

  23. wyattsmind says:

    Good grades are an absolute must
    So “D’s” I must quickly adjust.
    It’s easier to cheat
    And live by deceit
    Than learn the things that I must.

    The boutique smelled of mildew and must
    Which came from metal covered in rust.
    The owner quiet old,
    An antique unsold,
    All wrinkled and covered with dust.

  24. Fred Bortz says:

    If proposing a book, then I must
    Write in language a parent can trust.
    I can’t say “organ size”
    In a book for young eyes,
    Even when sacred music’s discussed.

  25. Ira Bloom says:

    Mz Jolie said, “Sadly, I must,
    Heed advice from the doctors I trust.
    A mastectomy’s trouble,
    But make mine a double.”
    (Good thing her career’s not a bust!)

  26. donna vogler says:

    A woman whose hair was all mussed
    And someHOW had no clothes on her bust,
    Said: “That man is so quick,
    But he needs a good kick.
    With Flash around, who can you trust?”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    The sculptor had finished; he must
    Take his statue to wipe off the dust.
    But he dropped it instead
    And it broke near the head,
    So what used to be statue is bust.

  28. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    There once was a camel in must
    Who could not quench the heat of his lust.
    In that hot desert setting,
    With limited sweating,
    The beastie was quick to combust.

  29. rbasler says:

    A vat of stomped grapes is called must
    Without it, your wine would go bust
    So squish all that pinot
    And make us some vino
    Who knows? It could lead to some lust!

  30. Tim James says:

    An accountant had thoroughly mussed
    Up a column of figures. He cussed:
    “I subtracted. Perdition!
    It called for addition!”
    It left him completely non-plussed.

  31. Chris O'Carroll says:

    A woman whose hair was all mussed
    And whose bedclothes were likewise said, “Lust
    Is splendidly messy.
    As I cry, ‘Yes, yes!’ he
    Dishevels me more with each thrust.”

  32. Charley Simmons says:

    A lady whose hair was all mussed
    Came down from the loft as she cussed.
    “I came here today
    For a roll in the hay
    Then he jumped on his mare filled with lust”.

  33. A bit of a punctuational nightmare, but here goes …

    “Good grammar once was a must
    “When I was at school!” Grandad cussed.
    ” ‘Stead of ‘I’, now it’s ‘me’,
    ” ‘Him’ for ‘he’, ‘her’ for ‘she’
    ” And last week I swear two ‘we’s’ ‘us’d’ !”

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    She was gorgeous! I knew that I must
    Find a way of indulging my lust.
    What was this that I felt?
    Damn, a chastity belt!
    It would seem that the girl had me sussed.

  35. Brian Allgar says:

    The wine-vault smelled strongly of must;
    The burglar looked round in disgust.
    “I’ve been wasting my time,
    This stuff’s not worth a dime -
    All the bottles are covered in dust!”

  36. Brian Allgar says:

    “For a limerick, music’s a must!”,
    Says Bob Schechter, a fellow I trust.
    But my work was diminished
    Like Schubert’s “Unfinished” -
    Mad threw it away in disgust.

  37. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The sheets had been mightily mussed
    As some guy tried to sate her great lust.
    “Penetration is fine,
    But for cunnys like mine
    The sole goal’s cunnilingus or bussed.”

  38. Kirk Miller says:

    Over bra-less young gals men do lust.
    Sales of bras are way down, so store must
    See the market’s shifting.
    Though bras are uplifting,
    Store will close ’cause their sales have gone bust.

  39. Chris Doyle says:

    In school, the three R’s were a must,
    But at ‘rithmetic I was a bust.
    My subtracting’s okay,
    But when adding – like, say,
    12 and 7, I’m simply nonplussed.

  40. Chris Doyle says:

    The Tin Man, like everyone, must
    Meet his Maker and wind up as dust,
    But unlike you and me,
    On his stone “R.I.P.”
    Will denote it’s in peace that he’ll rust.

  41. Chris Doyle says:

    Dolly Parton said, “Gravity must
    Take a toll on the womanly bust,
    But you’re never see these
    Triple-D’s touch my knees
    ‘Cause I keep ‘em sufficiently trussed.”

  42. Chris Doyle says:

    C.S.I. says your resumé must
    Show you’re right for the job they’ve discussed.
    Rogers Nelson once paid
    You to work as his maid,
    So for prints you’ll be able to dust.

  43. Chris Doyle says:

    My wife says a jock strap’s a must
    Till we have the new kid we discussed.
    So I wear one while sleeping
    To show her I’m keeping
    The jewels of the family trussed.

  44. Brian Allgar says:

    “The full thirty-one days are a must
    For an Emperor’s month”, cried August-
    us. “Old Caesar’s July
    Has that number, so I
    Think for August, it’s no more than just.”

  45. Brian Allgar says:

    Twiggy replies to Dolly:

    Said Twiggy, “Though gravity must
    Take its toll on the bust, I would just
    Like to make you aware
    That if nothing is there,
    You don’t need to keep anything trussed.”

  46. Brian Allgar says:

    I don’t want to, but know that I must
    Do the things that we’ve often discussed:
    Get obesity shrinking,
    Stop smoking and drinking …
    Thank God, we said nothing of lust.

  47. Brian Allgar says:

    Her knickers were crumpled and mussed;
    My trousers I tried to adjust
    When my wife came home early
    And said “Who’s this girly?”
    “Our neighbour”, I told her, “Miss Trust.”

  48. Brian Allgar says:

    Irreplaceable monuments must
    Be preserved, lest they crumble to dust.
    The whole nation applauds:
    Mrs T. at Tussaud’s
    Has been bought by the National Trust.

    (This may need a few words of explanation. “Mrs T.” was the appalling Margaret Thatcher, and a waxwork figure of her can be found at Madame Tussaud’s in London. The National Trust is dedicated to safeguarding Britain’s historic buildings, landscape and monuments. But I’m glad to say that the idea that they would wish to preserve her is pure ghoulish invention on my part.)

  49. Chris Doyle says:

    Fixing a typo in L3:

    Dolly Parton said, “Gravity must
    Take a toll on the womanly bust,
    But you’ll never see these
    Triple-D’s touch my knees
    ‘Cause I keep ‘em sufficiently trussed.”

  50. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    An old vagrant who’s mucky and mussed
    Is the object of others’ disgust.
    He had once been a baker,
    An adept pastry maker.
    Now to tell, you must cut through the crust.

  51. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    “In my business, no cops is a must,”
    Said the stern dominatrix, “I just
    See the clients I know.
    Now stop asking and go,
    ‘Cause I’m certain you’re not one I trussed.”

  52. yt cai says:

    The baker said baby you must
    Wrap yourself inside my pie crust
    And if you are willing
    We’ll use for a filling
    Your cherry I’ll pluck in a thrust

  53. yt cai says:

    Jane’s hair was all thrown and mussed
    From submitting to her animal lust
    When sitting there bare
    While tied to the chair
    With him she diplayed complete trussed

  54. Val Fish says:

    In a relationship, there must
    Be honesty, respect and trust
    His cheating heart
    Drove us apart
    Now all my dreams have turned to dust

  55. John Armstrong says:

    Blackbeard’s beard was all mussed
    Below decks with crew he did trust
    He shot Israel Hands
    In the knee where he stands
    “To obey me, to fear me they must!”

  56. Allen Wilcox says:

    A limerick writer, he must
    Break the rules if he thinks it is just,
    Although still it’s not fine
    To omit the last line.

  57. Allen Wilcox says:

    “Good grades are an absolute must.
    That’s why it’s so weird that I just
    Got an F in addition.
    I’m full of contrition.”
    Thus our student was truly nonplussed.

  58. Allen Wilcox says:

    “You should only do it if you must.
    You should only do it if it’s just.”
    Now that’s what he said,
    But inside of his head -
    (You should onoly do it if it’s lust.)

  59. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 166.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun, because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Slate.

  60. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Whoa there, Mad, it’s only 10:48 pm Eastern Time. So here’s one more.

    Before there is wine there is must.
    Before there is love there is lust.
    This linear flow
    Is everywhere, so
    Before there are bunnies there’s dust.