Limerick of the Week (155)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
Father Fine teaches art and design
At St. Joe’s and is known to use wine
To get lads to undress
And caress him. So yes,
I would guess every good boy does Fine.
Congratulations to Mark Kane and Fred Bortz, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the limerick receiving the most Facebook “likes.”
A comic worked hard to design
A routine which allowed him to shine.
He’d set out a bowl,
Spike the juice, then cajole
Out the laughs from his loaded punch line.
A scandalous spying design
Led to President Nixon’s decline.
His brash overreach
Caused the House to impeach
And led Tricky Dick to resign.
Congratulations to Chris Doyle and Brian Allgar, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange about Edward Lear, widely recognized as the “father” of the limerick:
Who’da thunk Edward Lear would design
A new verse form we had to refine
So as not to repeat,
Word for word, the three feet
At the start in the terminal line?
Brian Allgar, speaking for Edward Lear:
Mr Doyle, my splendid design
Pleases many, so why do you whine?
I regret that your taste
For the new has debased,
Mr Doyle, my splendid design.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jon Gearhart, Tim James, Sallie McKenna, Will T. Laughlin, Chris Doyle, Brian Allgar, and Kevin Ahern. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
A woman worked hard to design
An After Ten dress to define
Her nice set of cones
And erogenous zones,
But her date ripped it off before nine!
Our language is strange in design.
If the plural of “cow” can be “kine,”
Then explain to me how
Just one swine’s not a “swow”
And a bride doesn’t take wedding vine?
A woman worked hard to design
A new look for her scruffy canine;
She tied ribbons and bows,
Then she tweeted a pose.
In a trice, he got four dates online!
Will T. Laughlin says:
So now we see Putin’s design.
His beady eyes narrow and shine:
“Send bombers! Send tanks!
Send troops on both flanks
(This’ll keep Pussy Riot in line)!”
The proctologist knows the design
Of my colon, but still I’ll decline
The exam he’ll suggest
‘Cause his mother knows best:
That’s a place where the son doesn’t shine.
A woman asked God to design
A companion who’d treat her just fine.
But the spare rib – bad luck! -
Was a pig’s, so she’s stuck
With another male chauvinist swine.
I think you should know the design–
Why we toast to the great pinot shrine:
“The wine,” said a sage
“May get better with age”
“But it’s age that gets better with wine.”
Will T. Laughlin:
We workers in graphic design
Have a precept we’d like to enshrine:
Should the customer want
Comic Sans as his font,
We will pickle his noggin in brine.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Chris Doyle, Fred Bortz, Jon Gearhart, Kevin Ahern, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mark Kane, Sallie McKenna, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest