Limerick Wheel (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man was asleep at the wheel…*

or

A woman was trying to wheel…*

or

A fellow was turning the wheel…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Wheel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man was asleep at the wheel–
Not driving, but doing a deal,
And by failing to spar
While buying a car,
He fell prey to the dealership’s spiel.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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49 Responses to “Limerick Wheel (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Jesse Levy says:

    A man was asleep at the wheel
    For the road though he had a good feel
    He meant to hit Natches,
    was conscious, in patches,
    And found himself down in Mobile

  2. Jesse Levy says:

    It’s a funny thing – a wheel.
    Sometimes it hardly seems real.
    All life goes around
    and all that you’ve found -
    is it’s a funny thing – a wheel.

  3. Daisy Mae Simon (Debby) says:

    HEY, PAT AND VANNA!
    I imagine me spinning that wheel
    And my bonus round win is a ‘steel’
    Proving word games I play
    aren’t time wasters when they
    help me win a new automobile.

  4. Mark Kane says:

    She’s driving, then he takes the wheel.
    They switch again after each meal.
    Las Vegas their goal!
    They’re now on a roll.
    Shared driving’s their deal, or no deal.

  5. kaykuala says:

    A woman was trying to wheel…
    On piecemeal basis a concocted deal
    She had partners
    Who were dishonest
    It got botched for they had squealed

    Hank

  6. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was turning the wheel,
    Saving her sweet automobile
    From potholes galore,
    But then there were more.
    She hit one the shade did conceal.

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was trying to wheel
    And deal, yet her motives conceal.
    She’d win the ultimate prize,
    Cut her cruel boss down to size
    And get him before her to kneel.

  8. rbasler says:

    A cave man invented the wheel
    He hoped to get rich off the deal
    “I only require
    “The right name for my tire
    “This will be a good year now, I feel…”

  9. Fred Bortz says:

    When Ogg first invented the wheel,
    It had very little appeal.
    But a night spent in passion
    Inspired him to fashion
    An axle–Now that’s a big deal!

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    A man fell asleep at the wheel
    Too many carbs at his last meal.
    He caught himself fast,
    And he was agast.
    He’ll have to stay more even keel.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    My gerbil loves running his wheel
    He runs with great joy and great zeal.
    He has great fun,
    Then he is done.
    He’s too big to do a cartwheel.

  12. Jesse Levy says:

    A teen got behind the wheel.
    For driving he showed a great zeal.
    But there was just one factor,
    it was his dad’s tractor
    and you can’t go that fast in a field.

    (Not the most perfect of rhymes, but oh well).

  13. Dashing Dave, Defender of the Downtrodden and Lover of Fair Maidens says:

    Here are two submissions: one with a political spin.

    A man was asleep at the wheel
    For eight years in the White House, for real.
    He dreamed of ambition
    Which came to fruition
    Dismantling our rights with much zeal.

    A man was asleep a the wheel
    As the guardrail his fender did feel;
    The snooze he did catch
    Was really no match
    For the scratch on his automobile.

  14. Sallie McKenna says:

    A man was asleep at the wheel,
    careening wildly toward the Bastille;
    he awoke from his trance,
    Said “Mon Dieu, I’m in France!”,
    “At least, I can have some great veal!”

    A woman was trying to wheel,
    a blockbuster big money deal;
    she was ready to close,
    but her Power Point froze,
    her pitch lost its whole spiel appeal.

    A fellow had turned on his heel,
    walked out of her life and vowed he’ll,
    take the last of her money,
    her house and her bunny,
    she injected,”It’s doubtful you’ll heal!’

  15. Jen Harris says:

    A man played asleep at the wheel
    His passenger’s leg for to feel
    As she said for God’s sake,
    Will you step on the brake
    Pull over for drinks, that’s the deal.

  16. Jen Harris says:

    A man fell asleep at the wheel
    While approaching the pier, in Lucille
    His beautiful yacht;
    He awoke with a WHAT!
    Broken ashore, how’s that feel?

  17. Sallie McKenna says:

    A man was asleep in Mobile,
    in a booth of the diner “Big Wheel”;
    he dreamed he was stuck,
    in a suck hole of muck,
    he’d slumped over full-faced in oatmeal!

  18. Bob Leggett @LimerickBob1 says:

    A woman behind the wheel
    Was knitting while driving through Deal
    Half way to Dover
    Cops said pullover
    She said no, cashmere jumper, just feel

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    The croupier was spinning the wheel,
    And the waitress was hot, I could feel.
    Though I fancied my chances,
    She spurned my advances:
    “Double zero, you loser – get real!”

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    A woman was changing the wheel
    When a fellow appeared, full of zeal.
    “May I help you?” he said,
    But she bashed in his head
    And made off with his automobile.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    The Cardinal, quite a big wheel,
    Had a dog before whom he would kneel.
    He explained to some geezers
    The pooch was called Jesus -
    “When called, he will come straight to heal.”

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    They say that the galaxies wheel,
    But frankly, I think it’s a spiel.
    I’m convinced that the planet
    ‘s a huge pomegranate -
    The stars are just holes in the peel.

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    Come live with me, love, and then we’ll
    All pleasures indulge; thou shalt kneel
    Where I’m hung like an ox,
    Then you’ll sit on my rocks …
    Say, waddaya mean, “You’re a heel”?

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    The man who invented the wheel
    Couldn’t get the idea to congeal.
    “The concept is there”,
    Said his wife, “But a square?
    It needs to be rounder, I feel.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    Scientology gained a big wheel
    When Tom Cruise declared “Hey, it is real!”
    But his fans were less certain
    And pulled down the curtain,
    Complaining he lacked sects’ appeal.

  26. Brian Allgar says:

    The glutton inspected his wheel
    Of cheese, saying sadly “This Brie’ll
    Suffice for a snack,
    But I’ll have to go back
    And get three for a regular meal.”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Cromwell, “The General Weal
    Hath need of me now to reveal
    That the Nation grows greedy -
    Pray think of the needy”,
    And munched on a shoulder of veal.

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    “You shouldn’t say ‘us’ll’, but ‘we’ll’ ”,
    The Harvard boy tells us – big deal!
    Old rednecks like us,
    Why, us don’t give a cuss.
    ’Cause it’s us’ll get richer than he’ll.

  29. Brian Allgar says:

    Torquemada invented a wheel
    That caused all his victims to squeal
    As their feet fell apart,
    But he told them, “Take heart,
    For compared to a soul, what’s a heel?”

  30. Tim James says:

    The contestants would spin the big wheel,
    Then Vanna turned cards to reveal
    Some quite obvious phrase.
    ‘Twould _er_lex and amaze!
    I never could gras_ the a_ _eal.

  31. Tim James says:

    There should be two consecutive hyphens in the last word of my limerick above, of course. I think the blog software must have merged them.

    Note from Mad Kane: I don’t think you really want hypens but, rather, underscores on both lines 4 and 5.

    I’ve made that change. Please let me know if it’s what you wanted.

  32. Wheeling Around The Dance Floor
    (after William Dunbar)

    “Mahoun” wore a coat, like a “quheill,”
    Hung in “rumpillis” clear down to his “heill”
    At the party he threw
    For some folks (me and you);
    Seven times “air of Hell” – a raw deal.

  33. Though the man who invented the wheel
    Must’ve thought it a very big deal,
    It’s the far lesser toiler
    Who tacked on a spoiler
    That first got the cavemen to squeal.

  34. SOME RANDOM SOUNDS

    While Willow winds wool on her wheel,
    Max munches his mid-morning meal
    ‘Til his belly (its bib
    Like a billowing jib)
    Is as full as a fellow can feel.

  35. The Government tends to our weal…
    Yet too many Conservatives feel
    That our *weal* is a welt
    That deserves to be dealt
    By the force of a down-treading heel.

  36. Jon Gearhart says:

    A man let his son take the wheel
    To teach him to hunt for his meal
    He said with a laugh
    When they struck a calf,
    “That’s not what I meant to re-veal!!”

  37. Val Fish says:

    Caught in flagrante behind the wheel
    A couple could hardly conceal
    Their state of undress
    They couldn’t care less
    In their open-top automobile!

  38. Val Fish says:

    Broken down and behind the wheel
    He decided to have a quick feel
    His girlfriend he pawed
    With tongue he explored
    Is that what you call a ‘Happy Meal’?

  39. Mrs. Smeej says:

    When my teenage son takes the wheel
    The only emotion I feel
    Is fear, ’cause I know
    He doesn’t go slow.
    I cringe when I hear tires squeal.

  40. Order “piel de banane en huile
    De foie de morue” for your meal
    And prepare to recoil –
    For it’s cod liver oil
    And banana (but only the peel).

  41. The laughing gulls circle and wheel
    Where I stand with my rod and my reel.
    But mine’s the last laughter:
    It’s GULLS that I’m after,
    And soon will be filling my creel.

  42. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Stuck in traffic, his hands left the wheel
    In his pockets for Kleenex to feel.
    PC Plod—such a swine!
    Gave an on-the-spot fine!
    It was felt to be excessive zeal …

    A true story from Scotland. Feeling a sneeze coming on, a motorist reached for a handkerchief. Despite being stationary in a traffic jam and having applied the handbrake to his car, he was issued with an on-the-spot fine and three points on his driving licence by a beady-eyed police officer (nicknamed “PC Shiny Buttons” for his over-zealous approach to his job) for supposedly not being in “proper control of his vehicle”. The man refused to pay the fine and the case was dropped.

  43. Ailsa McKillop says:

    “Only one hand, his left, gripped the wheel,
    Your Honour, it’s scarcely ideal.”
    (Went the policemanly drone)
    “He was using his phone
    With the other,”—and so went his spiel.

    Dost thou turn in thy grave, Robert Peel?
    Didst thou hear of a case so surreal?
    The defendant was calm.
    His prosthetic right arm
    Meant his hand couldn’t grip, nor yet feel.

    Sadly, another true story from Scotland in this morning’s Daily Record (“The Wrong Arm of the Law”). A man was taken to court after two police officers declared they saw him using a mobile phone in his right hand while steering the car with his left, despite the man having a false right arm with a rigid hand that means he cannot hold a phone, let alone use it in any way.

  44. Diane Groothuis says:

    A man went to sleep at the wheel
    And what happened next was unreal
    Cause all in a flash
    He had a bad crash
    Cut his legs off and now he’s called Neil.

  45. Mark Kane says:

    Oh he’d squeal as he’d take to the wheel,
    Enjoying his new sex appeal.
    His Ferrari was HOT!
    Sadly he was so not,
    But most starlets seemed willing to deal.

  46. Ailsa McKilllop says:

    It’s quiz time! So let’s spin the wheel!
    When you see all these prizes you’ll squeal!
    There’s cash you can bank!
    So—birthplace of Planck
    Of quantum mechanics? Yes—Kiel!

  47. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the week 156.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Undone Limerick.

  48. Bob Leggett @LimerickBob1 says:

    Now that spring has sprung
    Every bird has a song to be sung
    Not a minute to wait
    Build a nest find a mate
    And sing fit to burst a lung

  49. Bob Leggett @LimerickBob1 says:

    The batsman said he was done
    My innings of a hundred and one
    Should win the match
    But shame that catch
    Means I won’t score the winning run