Freedom Loving Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. (Just because it’s Independence Day Weekend, doesn’t mean I’m free to ignore my versifying duties.)

So here’s the deal: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who always felt free…

or

A woman who always felt free…

Here’s mine:

Freedom Loving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who always felt free
To do what he wanted with glee
Applied freedom one way,
Saying “Do what I say,”
To all, so his friend list was wee.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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55 Responses to “Freedom Loving Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rinkly Rimes says:

    Naturist

    These come round so quickly!

  2. A fellow who always felt free
    To be everything he could be
    Walked off down the road
    Without any clothes
    And got stung on the ass by a bee

  3. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Decided to climb a tree
    He climbed it with style
    Once at the top smelled something vile
    Realizing he just had a pee

  4. A woman who always felt free…
    To share her food pantry with me
    Collected canned goods
    From rich neighborhoods
    Determined to feed the hungry

  5. J Sardo says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Managed a 4 AM tee
    Those his wife would complain
    And offered her disdain
    To the tee so free our fellow would flee.

  6. J Sardo says:

    Oops! Correction needed.

    A fellow who always felt free
    Managed a 4 AM tee
    Though his wife would complain
    And offered her disdain
    To the tee so free our fellow would flee.

    Aaah. Much better.

  7. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman who always felt free
    did not wear a bra, you see.
    Her boobs they would jiggle
    The boys would all giggle
    but she didn’t care – Look at me!

    That was her favorite refrain
    because a bra caused her such pain
    So as she went without
    there was never a doubt
    that she drove all the guys insane.

  8. A fellow who always felt free
    Bought a twenty-pound wheel of brie
    The fellow said, “Jesus,
    “These big stinky cheeses,
    “Keep others a long way from me…”

  9. Marla says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Had chosen this for his life’s decree:
    “If you find the fair ones good at the kettle,
    Not too smart and willing to settle
    You’ll always have whoopee without bending knee!”

  10. Daisy Mae says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Was an ‘unbuckled pants’ devotee
    Not trying to be silly
    He liked to …free willy
    Thus, joined a nudist colony

  11. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    To be open, outspoken, gutsy
    Went a little too far
    On the 4th, with the “Star
    Spangled Banner” (performed anally).

  12. Patrick says:

    A woman who always felt free
    was suddenly charging a fee.
    When the fourth started balking
    she left him still talking
    and reserved herself for the three.

  13. Jo Bryant says:

    Love it. :) Very clever and humerous.

  14. A fellow who always felt free
    Didn’t care who-all could see
    ‘It’s as broad as it’s long’
    was his favourite song
    in his shorts it was really quite wee.

  15. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To offer advice lib’rally
    Found some would revile
    Her unfettered style;
    She got smart, started charging a fee.

  16. Jingle says:

    it is always fun to read your limerick.
    perfectly composed.
    smiles.
    Happy Independent Day.

  17. A woman who always felt free
    to dress as weird as she be.
    Went out in tie dye
    for the 4th of July –
    a true firecracker of glee.

    Happy 4th!! :)

  18. Please scratch the above… I ended up editing it a bit more before posting it on my site.

    Do I look like Fireworks?

    A woman who always felt free
    to dress as weird as she be.
    Went out in tie dye
    for the 4th of July.
    Firework colors made her feel pretty.

  19. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To interpret the leaves of her tea
    Found this spelled out one day
    In her favorite Earl Gray:
    “You’re a lunatic; switch to coffee!”

  20. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who always felt free
    Joined an H M O giving free tea.
    Did she really think
    She could just change her drink?
    For coffee they charged a co-fee.

  21. John Larkin says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    said, “I know what I want to be.”
    He dropped out of school
    and became quite a fool,
    but his downfall he couldn’t foresee.

  22. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Saw the Mets and he shouted with glee,
    As the organ notes rang,
    And the fans stood and sang:
    “Jose are you sure you can see?”

  23. A woman who always felt free
    To display herself bare to the knee,
    Burnt her bra and her drawers,
    Now she’s dealing with lawyers
    ‘Cause she shares more than we wish to see!

    A fellow who always felt free
    Had developed a strange way to pee.
    He’d pull out his john,
    And then tinkle upon
    The first person he happened to see!

  24. There once was a guy who always felt free
    to advise his friends how they should be
    He could not understand his bewildered friend Stan
    Who from Toledo traveled to NY indecisively

    He wrote:

    There once was this guy from Toledo
    Who once in New York knew not where to go
    Should he cultured be
    And visit the actual grand old opree
    Or should he just find a hooker and image blow?

  25. Altonian says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Went burgling one morning at three
    He was caught on the job
    By a policeman named Bob
    Who slapped on the cuffs gleefully

    ……….

    A fellow who always felt free
    Raised up his ‘Old Glory’ with glee
    But a bigoted hippie
    From dear old Mississippi
    Cried “Take it down now – Damned Yankee!”

    ……….

  26. Love your limericks =)

  27. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    To go for a higher degree
    Had a BFA, MFA,
    PhD, MBA,
    MPPM and MD.

  28. Mama Zen says:

    That’s pretty funny!

  29. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Doffed his pants, was revealed as a she.
    He shimmied and pranced,
    Out the back door she danced
    Where only select folks could see.

  30. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    To engage in prolonged gluttony
    Got the shock of his life
    When his doc stole his wife:
    “Sorry, Harvey; Jim’s svelte, just like me.”

  31. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To proclaim it was her destiny
    To be widely applauded,
    Felt cheated, defrauded
    When Barack won the presidency.

  32. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To display certain parts publicly
    Gave a ticklish sneeze
    From a sudden cool breeze:
    Male bystanders applauded, aglee.

  33. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    When alone on his boat, out at sea
    Was dismayed when he landed;
    His new wife demanded
    To join him: “We’re happy now ~ see?”

  34. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To require that her friends each agree
    With her views was deluded.
    Each person concluded,
    Too-quick “yeses” caused misery.

  35. scott says:

    A fellow who always felt free,
    is foolish and too blind to see,
    he’s a modern day drone,
    chained to his smart phone,
    and a slave to new technology.

  36. scott says:

    A woman who always felt free,
    to accept a big farm subsidy.
    and watch her husband get paid,
    from government Medicaid,
    would deny the same to you and me.

  37. Anu says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    said, “For a change: imprison me”
    From petty theft to grand larceny
    everything short of murder tried he
    Now he’s being given the third degree

  38. Ana says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    to always act bold & be gutsy,
    snubbed everybody he knew
    ’till left with no friends. He got his cue:
    Consider feelings, don’t cross boundaries.

  39. A fellow who always felt free
    Decided to head out to sea.
    He loaded his boat
    With some wine and a float
    Then he sailed off to South Tennessee

  40. A woman who always felt free
    Used to hang upside down from a tree
    In the dead of the night
    A young boy took a fright
    Now he’s scared to go out for a pee.

  41. Victoria says:

    I see other perverse minds went the same place but here it is:

    A woman who always felt free
    Burned her bra when she turned twenty-three
    Now at age sixty-eight
    She is rueing her fate
    As her boobies keep knocking each knee.

  42. Victoria says:

    A woman who always felt free
    Went to find herself in Gay Paree.
    She hooked up with Pierre
    Who pursued her with flaire
    Now she’s hitched to Monsieur le Marquis.

  43. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To advise young mothers-to-be
    Had lived quite alone
    With no babe of her own.
    She advised them, “Spank often!” with glee.

  44. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To keep bowls full of spiced potpourri
    Finally came to confess
    She was masking a mess
    In the cat toilette: mountains of pee.

  45. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    To describe body functions with glee
    Couldn’t understand why
    When he unzipped his fly
    To share more, party-goers would flee.

  46. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To drink plenty of vitamin C
    Discovered one hitch:
    Long drives were a bitch
    ‘Cause vitamin C makes you pee.

  47. Anu says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Said: I don’t care what anyone thinks
    Climbed up the face of the Sphinx
    Up he went on the broken anatomy
    But a crumbling bit did him in precipitously

    A woman who always felt free
    Lived in the annals of History
    Tired out the airplane built by da Vinci
    Maybe the first to belong the club up a mile
    Hence the reason for her inscrutable smile

    A fellow who always felt free
    Overdosed on pills of the purple variety
    With all that Viagra
    What resulted was like the Niagara
    When he answered nature’s call to pee

  48. Anu says:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Moved to another country
    The confounded restrictions
    compounded by constrictions
    Made him return to the Land of Liberty!

  49. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who always felt free
    To sing any ditty off key
    Now finds it great fun
    To see co-workers run
    when she warbles a plain do re mi.

  50. I found this very difficult… but I didn’t want to give up… so here goes my mediocre take:

    A fellow who always felt free
    Had violated his ‘nuptials- pre’
    Vows he didn’t uphold
    His wife, he did cuckold
    Now he’s buried in ‘marriage debris’!

  51. A woman who always felt free
    To nitpick and with all and some sundry
    When blackballed and cast out
    Into tears did break out
    She hated it, once sent to Coventry.

  52. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who always felt free
    Loved to gossip with ALL her friends (THREE!)
    So how do I know?
    The third told me so
    And relays all the gossip to me.

  53. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who always felt free
    !n her land with its guarantee
    Of freedom of speech
    Found it out of her reach
    When she spoke of the faults she could see.

  54. madkane says:

    Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over, and you can find out who won Limerick of the Week here.

    But a new limerick writing challenge has already begun. You can find my latest Limerick-Off here.

  55. Dna says:

    I really like the way you think. There are a lot of similarities between your site and mine. Would you mind looking into my site, it’s 99% Humor and 1% Dark sarcasm. I’m sure you’ll like it!!