Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It is time for another Bush speech,
Which leaves honor and facts in the breach.
Please do not expect reason:
Just more acts of treason.
Enough with this nonsense. Impeach! [tags]Bush Speech, Iraq, War Strategy Speech, The Way Forward In Iraq, Impeach Bush, Iraq Troop Surge, War Powers[/tags]
Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it:
Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that we’re right on the verge
Of what Bush and McCain call a surge.
Once again, George the Madman
Behaves like an adman
Whose product leads only to dirge.
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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Mail Fraud (Skippy)
* Ten ‘Bombshells’ From Rudy’s Secret Dossier (Don Davis)
* Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on Sacrifice (OneGoodMove) [tags]Iraq War, Bush Speech, Surge, Iraq Surge, Surge & Accelerate Plan, Sacrifice, McCain[/tags]
Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview.
I fear that Dr. Frank may well be right. But even if my much milder haiku diagnosis is the correct one, we’re in deep trouble with Bush in the White House:
Dub on the Divan
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dubya’s surging fear
Of emasculation drives
War escalation. [tags]Sociopath Bush, Emasculation, Buzzflash, Justin A. Frank, Bush On The Couch, Bush Haiku[/tags]
President Bush had some words of wisdom for us at Wednesday’s press conference: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.”
Hey, at least he finally has his priorities straight. And that brings me to my latest political limerick:
Shopping For A New President Would Be Nice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
‘Tis the season to buy stuff, for sure.
Have you shopped? Yes? Then go shop some more.
That’s what Dubya once said,
While ignoring the dead—
Needless victims of Dub’s wanton war. [tags]Bush Humor, War Humor, Economy Humor, Press Conference[/tags]
“A Way Forward?” To Where, Exactly?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Iraq’s current state is abysmal,
With its prospects of peace rather dismal.
Dubya started this war,
Yielding blood, sweat and gore,
And success odds quite infinitesimal.
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And now some links, for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:
* The Talking Dog Interviews Michael Berube
* Year In Review: GOP ‘Takes A Perp Walk On The Wild Side’
* War Is Relative
* Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006
* Melissa Block talks with voice-over artists Dennis Steele and Scott Sanders about how to make a threatening voice for a political ad. (All Things Considered Audio Clip.) [tags]Iraq War, Iraq Study Group, A Way Forward, War Satire[/tags]
Ode To Diminished Expectations
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Unanimous yeses for Gates,
Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes
To be better than Rummy.
He isn’t a dummy!!!
That’s life in our Bush-induced straits.
[tags]Bob Gates Satire, Robert Gates, Confirmation Humor, Defense Secretary, Senate Armed Services Committee[/tags]
Ode To Dennis “Muslim Menace” Prager
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m enraged at host Prager. Yes, Dennis.
To the truth he is rather a menace,
Cause he gave Muslims grief
When he lied about Keith,
By inventing a Biblical oath dis. [tags]Dennis Prager, Keith Ellison, Media Humor, Koran, Bible, Muslim Congressman[/tags]
Uncivil Drivel
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The pundits incessantly muse,
“Is it civil or not?” I’m confused,
Cause by all definitions
Dub’s ill-advised “mission”
Ignited a civil war fuse.[tags]Civil War, Iraq War, Pundits, Mission, Satire[/tags]
Our Banished VEEP
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’ll be banished from office, VEEP Dick;
Not his job, but his real estate pick.
He had primo House space,
But eviction he’ll face,
Cause the Democrats won. What a kick!
(My Dick Cheney humor is collected here.)[tags]Cheney Office Space, Richard Cheney Humor, Election Humor, House Humor[/tags]
Limerick For Bush’s Brain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The man who’s called George Bush’s Brain
Has been weakened. Yes, that much is plain.
I doubt he got kicks.
From Election Oh-Six,
Which was won by the Dems, Dubya’s bane. [tags]Election 2006, Bush’s Brain, The Architect, Karl Rove Humor[/tags]
Fair And Balanced Haiku
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Democratic win
Is Terrorist Victory:
Fair and balanced Fox.
Joe’s Jive
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Joe warns: Compromise
And heed election’s lessons.
A not so veiled threat?
Trent Lott’s Revenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane
GOP misdeeds
Make Lott look nearly saint-like,
Enabling comeback. [tags]Election ’06 Humor, Trent Lott Comeback, Lieberman Humor, Fox News, Fair And Balanced, Terrorist Victory[/tags]
Needless to say, I’m very happy about Tuesday’s election results. And yet, I can’t resist the impulse to get just a little bit greedy:
Mad Kane Gets Greedy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am blissful, contented, and happy.
The election results weren’t crappy.
But for pleasure inflated,
To make me elated,
Impeach Cheney/Bush. Make it snappy!
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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Dems Sing ‘Our House Is A Very, Very, Very Blue House’
* Carnival of Satire
* Kicking Elephants and Taking Names
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Personal Growth Carnival
[tags]Election Humor, Impeachment Humor, Cheney/Bush Humor[/tags]
As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!” I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, which just happened to be announced two days before Election Day. Uh-huh … right.
A Convenient Noose (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Saddam’s death sentence.
Serendipitous? Hardly!
Leave no scheme behind. [tags]Saddam Hussein, Death Penalty, Death By Hanging, Election Day Humor, SNL’s Churchlady [/tags]
Chalk it up to pre-election delirium, but I just wrote a Bush-Cheney song parody to Winter Wonderland, without realizing that I used the same tune back in 2004 for a pre-election song parody. Fortunately, a bad memory does have some benefits, so the lyrics are quite different. Here’s my new one:
Bush and Cheney’s Blunderland (Sing to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
No debate. Stop your braying.
“Fantastic” at war!
Bush Rummy adores.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.
War is hard, but we’re winning.
GOP, lies and spinning.
Our war in Iraq
Is really on track.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.
Bush and Rove are great at building straw men.
Then they proudly knock their straw men down.
Dub implies we’re traitors.
We’ll say, “No Man!”
It’s time to stop pretending you’ve been crowned.
Ev’ry day, they conspire.
Reckless knaves, thieves, and liars.
The Bush/Cheney reign,
Democracy’s bane.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.
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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Worst Political Websites.
* I like Avedon when she’s in a snit.
* Don Davis’s Kerry: How Do You Ask Me To ‘Die’ For My Last Mistake?
* OneGoodMove has the New York Times’ latest editorial, and it’s a great one.
* Gary Trudeau Profile. (Via Alternative Hippopotamus)
* No Bush profiteering op left behind.
* Carnival Time: Carnival of Satire and Carnival of the Vanities.
* I sure hope journalists everywhere read this column and heed its counsel.
* Eric Schwartz sings his Clinton Got A Blowjob.
A pair of poems today — more serious than usual — inspired by the latest attempt to swift-boat John Kerry, and Kerry’s finally finding his voice in response to the Rove orchestrated attacks on him:
When I hear Gore speak, I sigh for what could have been.
When I watch Kerry speak, I eye what should have been.
When I see Bush speak, I cry for our citizens.
Kerry’s mad as hell
And won’t take it anymore.
Late, but still welcome.
[tags]John Kerry, Tony Snow, Swift-Boating, Strawmen, Election, Bush Lies, Al Gore, Karl Rove[/tags]
Today I have a limerick about Lynne “What Lesbian Novel?” Cheney, and her audacity in bashing Jim Webb as a smut writer. But first some info about my appearance last Friday on The Surreal News Show on Sarasota, Florida’s WSLR 96.5 LP FM Radio.
The interview went pretty well — nearly 45 minutes of talk about politics, humor, limerick writing, George Bush & Laura, Rush Limbaugh and Michael J. Fox, Katherine Harris, 9/11, etc.
I also read a few of my poems, sang one of my song parodies, and talked about how I went from oboe playing, to lawyering, to GOP mockery.
If you’d like to give it a listen, it’s archived here. (My segment begins ten minutes into the show.)
And now, my latest limerick:
Ode to Lynne “What Lesbian Novel?” Cheney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The author of Sisters, named Lynne,
Thinks her party at all costs must win.
She denies that her book
Has a lesbian hook,
And blasts Dems for their fictional sin. [tags]Lynne Cheney, Senate Race, Jim Webb, George Allen, Sarasota, Florida, WSLR Radio, Surreal News, Lesbian Novel, Sisters, Election Humor, GOP Porn[/tags]
I usually avoid writing about (or listening to) Rush Limbaugh. But Limbaugh’s outrageous attack on the ailing Michael J. Fox, followed by his non-apology apology, inspired me to write this pair of poems. First, my Rush haiku:
Limbaugh’s Fox attack:
Pestilence in broadcasting,
Toxic radio.
And now, my limerick:
Limbaugh maligned Michael Fox,
Who is ill and admired and rocks.
But drug popping Rush
Doesn’t know when to hush,
And he’s happy to sick people mock.
Update: For some Limbaugh laughs, check out Don Davis’s Limbaugh ‘Stays The Coarse’: Claims FDR Faked Polio, and Limbaughtomy.
And for your further reading (and viewing) pleasure:
*** Norm at OneGoodMove has Letterman’s amusing February video.
*** The latest Carnival of Satire.
*** The latest Carnival of the Liberals.
*** The latest Carnival of the Vanities.
*** Why did the Bush family, via daughter Jenna, purchase over 98,000 acres of land in Paraguay? Scorpio has an interesting theory, and Skippy has another good theory. (Via Avedon Carol)
*** The Carnival of Success.
[tags]Rush Limbaugh, Michael J. Fox, Campaign Ads, Senate Campaign, Stem Cell Research, Parkinson’s Disease, Talk Shows, Radio Humor, Disability, Election Advertising, Election Humor[/tags]
Dear Dub,
You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help:
Tactic: Language games.
Strategy: Deceive voters.
Goal: Win at all cost.
[tags]Bush Haiku, Election Humor, Voters, Bush Lies, Language Games, Iraq Strategy, War Tactics, War Goals[/tags]
The “He Misled” Theme Song (Sing to the Mr. Ed Theme Song.)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead.
Go right to the source. He’ll lie of course.
Won’t give you an answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s never on a truthful course.
Lies you will be fed.
Pundits yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day.
And talking heads will rarely challenge the lies that the Bushies say.
George Dubya has no remorse, of course,
And Georgie will lie till his voice is hoarse.
He’d love to rule all the world by force.
But listen to this:
Happy days ahead!
(My previous “stay the course” humor is here and my song parodies are collected here.)[tags]Stay The Course, Election Day, Bush Misled, Bush Lies, Talking Heads, Pundits[/tags]
Jack Abramoff has been so helpful to the FBI’s widening corruption investigation, that they’ve given him his own desk. I never thought I’d say this, but keep up the great work, Jack!
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Chatty Jack
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Felon Jack has turned out to be chatty.
Were he female, some might call him catty.
He’s been telling great tales,
That could send guys to jail.
And he’s driving Republicans batty.
And now for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
*** Media Matters on Joe Lieberman and the lazy New York Times. (Via Skippy, who, like me, has started a second blog.)
*** Norm can always be counted on to provide video of Keith Olbermann’s great commentary. (And speaking of Norm, he’s just launched a forum.)
*** From The Specious Report, Rush Limbaugh Denies Going Off Meds to Criticize Fox.
*** Don Davis’s GOP Congress To Bush: ‘Don’t Stand So Close To Me’.
*** Shakespeare’s Sister observes an interesting phenomena: Boy, those Republicans sure know how to write sex books! [tags]Jack Abramoff, Republican Corruption, Congressional Corruption, FBI Humor, Justice Department, Criminal Investigation[/tags]
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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