Why I Rarely Go To Parties
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The minute I walked in the door,
I was trapped by a talkative bore.
Though he thought he was deep,
I was soon deep asleep.
They should bottle this guy. What a snore!
Archive for the ‘Sleep & Insomnia Humor’ Category
How To Become An Insomniac
Monday, November 13th, 2006Becoming an insomniac isn’t as easy as it might appear. But with the help of these guidelines, dark circles and a cranky disposition will soon be yours.
1. Be born into a family of worriers. (Certain ethnic groups have the advantage here, but won’t be identified for obvious reasons.)
2. During your infancy, become accustomed to dozing in serene silence, a state you will never encounter as an adult.
3. Have parents so desperate for peace and quiet, that they routinely send you to bed hours before you feel even a hint of fatigue. This will allow you to develop helpful habits like gazing at the ceiling, counting sheep, and plotting revenge.
4. Cultivate your neuroses. A dedicated would-be insomniac will work on this throughout the day. But if time is limited, performing any of these activities right before bedtime should do the trick: … (How To Become An Insomniac is continued here.)
