Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 15, 2021)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ZOOS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ZOO-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 16, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 15, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my TOOL/TULLE-rhyme limerick:

The worst sort of boss is the fool
Who frequently acts like a tool;
When his OWN boss says jump,
He’ll obey like a chump.
Then who’ll suffer the consequence? You’ll!

And here’s my ZOO-themed limerick:

On a trip to our large, local zoo
We peered at its small new-born gnu.
That calf is so cute,
But it’s surely on route
To be horned, huge and cow-like, sans moo.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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208 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 15, 2021)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: limerick #1 is wrong. I just noticed how people would get mixed up.
    I should be: Told my friends you are “surely no fool”.
    Cuz you’re hammered all day, (that’s so cool).
    Said, “He screws all night long,
    All the chicks love his schlong.”
    Boy! You’ve nailed it; you’re one hunky tool.

    Could you please delete the first one, and put this one in instead?
    Thank You, Lisi

    ********
    I deleted it.

  2. Terry Marter says:

    When the trash man drank all his wife’s gin
    His chance of survival was thin.
    She diced up the fool
    With a very sharp tool
    But he still wouldn’t fit in the bin.

  3. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Get me out of here, I am just through!
    All these animals stink, phew, phew, phew.
    And look at that turd.
    It’s so foul, it’s absurd.
    I must tell you, this place is a zoo”.

  4. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    At a price not too hard on my wallet,
    Bought a gizmo with junk to install it,
    Came with gadget-y tool
    And a doodad that’s cool.
    But it won’t fit my whatchamacallit.

  5. Terry Marter says:

    Now here’s a grammatical “tool”
    A rule the kids picked up at school
    Silent P’s not a whim
    Though it Can be, – in “Swim”
    Hey Mum, can we jump in the pool?

  6. Clay Wild says:

    So a fool can be one kind of ‘tool’…
    Like Tom Sawyer, his friends did befool
    Billy Bob, it was said
    Sharpest tool in the shed?
    He’ll be back for more work – thinks he’s cool!

  7. Terry Marter says:

    We Took a Day-trip to the zoo.
    Lots of blurbs there to test what we knew.
    Though those Latin names suck
    ‘didn’t LOOK like a schmuck
    Cuz I read them (but don’t have clue).

  8. Clay Wild says:

    Power drill, indispensable tool
    Measure twice, but drill once, as a rule
    In the tool hall of fame
    Apropos dual name
    Tongue in cheek, you can call it a ‘drool’…

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mary asks John

    “John, I’ve noticed that Phillip is blue.
    Tell me why, dear, I haven’t a clue”

    “He invented a tool,
    But this scatter-brained fool
    Didn’t team it up with the right screw”.

  10. Kirk Miller says:

    Cinderella’s a story that’s cool.
    Handsome prince is quite smart, not a fool.
    Since the slipper does fit,
    With the prince she’s a hit.
    And in bed he does slipper his tool.

  11. Terry Marter says:

    Flamingos all pooping in sync
    Take my Olfactory sense to the brink.
    ‘guess flamingos must poo
    Just like we humans do
    But my question? Why isn’t theirs pink?

  12. Clay Wild says:

    Didn’t learn this at some Tech Ed school
    Orange juice and some vodka my ‘tool’…
    When up-TIGHT, from the grind
    Tall Screwdriver, unwind…
    I’m now LOOSE, versus tight, but no fool!

  13. Jean McEwen says:

    The best way to get by? Play it cool!
    You may LOOK like a chump (a mere tool
    Of the powers that be–
    An obtuse worker bee)–
    But in truth, you’ll be nobody’s fool.

  14. Jean McEwen says:

    Pete of PETA finds wholly elusive
    How the masses can find zoos amusive.
    “You think critters in cages
    Should somehow engage us?
    Wake up! Zoos are hugely abusive.”

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    Do not pet that bear, stand real still.
    If you touch him, I know that you will
    Be eaten alive,
    And you will not survive.
    And regret that you’ve made him real ill.

  16. Clay Wild says:

    A perceptive small child named Ryan
    Called the zoo’s BIG CAT out without tryin’
    “Though you’ve BIG teeth and jaws,
    You’re DISHONEST because…
    I KNOW you’re a CHEETAH, or LION!”

  17. Terry Marter says:

    Roamed the zoo eating ice cream (vanilla)
    Came across the huge alpha gorilla
    After dumping the candy
    My wife, feeling randy
    Jumped in just to see’f he could thrill’er

  18. Terry Marter says:

    Mad, would you please delete my Limerick at May 1. 11.06. Thanks.

    *********

    Done.

  19. Terry Marter says:

    They got married in Vegas NV
    They’d been pissed for an hour or three
    Then she saw through her tulle
    She’d just married a fool
    “….But you said you were Elvis Mk111”

  20. Rudy Landesman says:

    I once learned in medical school,
    For problems in passing your stool,
    Try eating a prune.
    Relief will come soon.
    An enema’s not the best tool.

  21. Paul Haebig says:

    We’re pandas who live at the zoo
    we don’t have a whole lot to do
    but lie in the sun
    play around and have fun
    and spend all day eating bamboo.

    The pandas made Jill, the giraffe,
    erupt with a deep belly laugh.
    But the laughter’s long trek
    all the way up Jill’s neck
    to her mouth took an hour and a half!

  22. Paul Haebig says:

    My friend the zoologist, Kyle,
    can identify any reptile!
    He says “It’s a gator
    if you see it later.
    A croc you’ll see after a while.”

  23. Terry Marter says:

    On our latest day-trip to the zoo
    Saw flamingos,- way more than a few.
    Do the staff tear out hair
    Counting how many’s there?
    Or count legs then divide it by two.

  24. Terry Marter says:

    The bride, looking splendid in tulle
    Didn’t like to dress up (as a rule)
    But the day of her wedding
    The prospect of bedding
    Her dude while undressing, was cool.

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    (One from 2016, when the Turkish President’s alleged … errr … sexual tastes were in the news)

    “Bestiality? Oh, not that word again”,
    Moaned plaintively President Erdogan.
    “It’s my own private zoo;
    I’m entitled to screw
    Or to bugger a goat from my herd again.”

  26. Brian Allgar says:

    (Another oldie)

    As they loaded the Ark’s floating zoo,
    It appeared they were missing a few.
    “Those unicorns? Banned ’em”,
    Said Noah. “Can’t stand ’em.
    I’m allergic to dinosaurs, too.”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    A gorilla with bright orange skin
    And a vast hippopotamus chin,
    A rhinoceros rump …
    It’s the one-man zoo, Trump!
    (Did I mention his crocodile grin?)

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    Boasted Donald, “I’m hung like a mule!
    Believe me, there’s no yuger tool!
    My magnificent schlong
    Is twelve inches long …
    But it doesn’t get used as a rule.”

  29. Terry Marter says:

    The mysterious unicorn’s fate
    Has for years been a cause for debate
    Never seen in a zoo
    The researchers best clue
    Is that Noah declared they taste great.

  30. Bob Turvey says:

    In the Bas-Limousin there is Tulle;
    A town whose name sounds really cool.
    As a site it was plum –
    A real oppidum –
    And a great place for Romans to rule.

  31. Bob Turvey says:

    ‘cos I look like a fish I’m alone;
    But at the zoo romance has grown.
    My strange finny head
    Charmed a large pinniped;
    Or Frank – as he likes to be known.

    I hope this gets the Mad Kane SEAL of Approval.

  32. Clay Wild says:

    Teenage Tom, near the zoo’s hippo cage
    Smoked a joint, ‘cause he thought it the rage…
    Mom and Dad, mad as heck
    Hung a sign ‘round his neck
    “Hip, oh Pot, Thomas?” in words so sage…

  33. Terry Marter says:

    Zoo staff Claim that some Animal type
    can communicate with us (just hype).
    The big Cat in the room
    (That’s the Lion) likes Zoom
    But the ones with the stripes prefer Skype.

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve returned cause I’m totally numb.
    A danger this hammer’s become.
    Though it may look real cool,
    It’s a poorly-made tool.
    Cause it never stops hitting my thumb.

  35. Clay Wild says:

    For a long, circular saw cut fate
    If you’ve tried, most of you can relate…
    With a ‘guide’ as my tool
    I’m, in hindsight a fool…
    Yelled my wife, as my ‘guide’, “Cut it straight!”

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    “That penguin is makin’ me ill.
    I’ll never go close to that bill.
    It’s cute, that is true,
    But it stinks up the zoo.
    Cuz its breath smells like “Squirmy The Krill”.

  37. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    A young bride had her wedding gown planned:
    She’d create it herself — make it grand!
    To her groom she said, “You’ll
    Help me stiffen the tulle.”
    He said, “Sure, I can do it by hand.”

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    It all started out with some goo.
    All scientists know that it’s true.
    It’s undoubtedly clear.
    Because we’re all here.
    From goo to the zoo, then to you.

  39. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Keen observers at our local zoo,
    Walk right up to the bars and peer through.
    Drawing close, some will howl,
    “Yuk, these critters smell foul!”
    While they’re staring at both me and you.

  40. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hi Mad,
    Sorry to trouble you again, but would you please delete my May 2, 12:48am posting (the zoophile limerick) with this, I think, improved version.
    Thanks,
    Rudy

    A zoophile once went to the zoo
    And patiently waited on queue
    To see his be-love-ed,
    And he was proud of it–
    His mousy, adorable shrew.
    **********
    Done.

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    All It Takes Is a Look

    If there’s one thing a man can’t resist,
    It’s a woman who wants to be kissed.
    Her expression’s the tool
    That can make a man drool.
    Then the chit-chat will cease to exist.

  42. Juan Gamper says:

    A dancer dressed up in a skimpy 2 2
    joined her partner for a short Pas-de-2.
    The girl’s 2 2 was not more than tull
    but her Pointe Shoes really were a very cool tool
    so together these 2 drew the applause that was due

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    I write limericks ev-er-y day.
    With words, I consistently play.
    I use one special tool,
    (An imperative rule):
    It’s called hamm’ring and hamm’ring away.

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    Johnny tries out for plays at his school.
    But, truthfully, he ain’t that cool.
    Didn’t make it as Lawrence.
    I could sense his abhorrence
    (He thought he was Peter O’Toole.)

  45. Clay Wild says:

    It’s a race, elephant and giraffe
    An event that enthralls the zoo’s staff
    They drink water and see
    Who’s the first that will pee
    Ironic for the ‘pee till I laugh’…

  46. Terry Marter says:

    I was standing there just like a fool
    When the Elephant jumped in the pool.
    The crowd all got soaked
    but old Jumbo was stoked
    Thought “must do that again, – I’m so cool!”

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    Do not go with your husband to Sears.
    It will bring out your deep-rooted fears.
    He’ll buy this weird tool
    That he thinks is real cool:
    An electrical broom for his ears.

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new soul mate just fills me with awe.
    Bad cooking’s her only one flaw.
    I use my new tool,
    (So she won’t think I’m cruel)
    And cut all the meat with a saw.

  49. Doug Harris says:

    ‘Twas a burden, that rigid old tool –
    Every day, out it came at my school.
    But now that twelve inches
    Causes many big flinches,
    So I’ve dropped my split wood as a rule.

  50. When I say Trump’s only a tool,
    GQP says, “That’s the point, fool!
    He stokes MAGA erections
    and can win us elections!
    Whosoever hump’s Trump gets to rule!”

  51. Tim James says:

    Jack Hammer, a chattering fool,
    Pounds the pavement all day, as a rule.
    He’s a chiseler, too.
    Plus it’s also quite true
    That he’s dirty and loud. What a tool.

  52. Clay Wild says:

    Kangaroos, for ‘square’ meals, do a-bound
    While the chimpanzees monkey a-round
    The hyenas, you’ll see
    Hunt ‘triangularly’
    And baboons just ‘wreck tangles’ with sound!

  53. Clay Wild says:

    You might think that baboons are just screaming
    When in fact it’s political scheming…
    Al-PAC-a, pick a side
    Corrupt elephant ride…
    Even fish have been known to be ‘teeming’!

  54. Terry Marter says:

    All the elephants in the zoo’s pit
    Rebelled with an organised shit.
    The staff at the rumpus
    Took shovels and compass
    To dig their way out bit by bit.

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    She was thrilled and excited. She shined.
    As a Judge she was fine-ly assigned.
    She applied her set rule.
    A wonderful tool.
    Which is something we know as a “mind”.

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    I patiently waited until
    I sensed that somehow I’d feel ill.
    My dentist, Doc Ghoul
    Came in with his tool:
    A Home Depot 50 pound drill.

  57. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    One tool that I use when I polish
    My lim’ricks is handy and smallish.
    Using lead as its fuel,
    It’s a rubber-tipped tool,
    With two settings: “Rub Out” and “Demolish.”

    (Hi, Lisi! This verse was not, but certainly could have been, inspired by
    your rendition of Doc Ghoul’s “finishing touches.” YMML!)

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    True Story. Age 10. Opening Boxes Of Shipments At My Mother’s Dress Shop.
    (my very first job, 50 cents an hour)

    I certainly didn’t impress
    My mother, (a retail “success”)
    With a very sharp tool,
    I felt like a fool,
    When I noticed just half of a dress.

  59. Gail White says:

    Two dancers, both covered in tulle,
    Were in search of a needle – a tool
    to repair a loose thread –
    and when somebody said
    “How many will do?” they said “Two’ll.”

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    Gotta Go Once A Year

    It’s time that I go into town.
    The place where you wear a blue gown.
    Doctor Spread has a tool
    That talks, it’s so cool.
    It commands all the gals to “MOVE DOWN”.

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: I wrote a limerick on May 2nd. at 8:13 PM
    Instead of (He thought he was Peter o Toole) (L5)
    Could you please change that to (He thinks he is Peter ‘O Toole)

    Thank you, Lisi

    **********

    from Mad:

    Don’t you mean Peter O’Toole?

  62. Rudy Landesman says:

    With all due respect to Gounod and Goethe

    In a legend not known as a rule,
    A king was in love, like a fool,
    To the day that he died.
    Now the truth we can’t hide.
    Le Roi de Thulé just loved tulle.

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    Yes, I did mean Peter O’Toole.
    (sorry) I never typed his name before!

    Thank You
    Lisi

    ********
    Done.

  64. Terry Marter says:

    The inmates, now running the zoo
    Ran a ballot to sort out who’s who.
    The Lions are in charge
    Cuz they’re fierce and quite large,
    And cuz Meerkats just don’t have a clue.

  65. Terry Marter says:

    Some big cats got caught in the rain
    The tigers response was profane
    All the leopards pen got
    was the odd little spot
    But the lions all stayed dry In the mane.

  66. Tony Holmes says:

    “What you hold in your hand is a tool.
    Versatile, multi-functional.” “Cool!”
    “It can be your best friend.
    Keep it clean at this end.
    No, it’s not meant to bend – as a rule.”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Handy Shovel

    Lots of shove’lin won’t do me no harm.
    Piles of snow on this here country farm.
    It’s a fine-dandy tool,
    But I ain’t no fool.
    It’s attached to my medic alarm.

  68. Tony Holmes says:

    Said a chimp, sipping tea, to his friend,
    “A suggestion – why not buck the trend?
    Let’s spectate and be rude.
    Come out clothed and not nude.
    Make them think it’s to us they ascend.”

  69. Tony Holmes says:

    The Human Zoo – An Iversion:

    Said the lion, “Yes, we breed them on-site.
    Very handy if one wants a bite.
    This one? Yes, he’s a pet.
    Haven’t eaten him – yet.
    It amuses to know that I might.”

  70. Bob Turvey says:

    A pretty zoo-keeper called Leah
    Will often display her cute rhea.
    It’s brown and it’s round
    And it makes an odd sound
    And the crowd always give it a cheer!

  71. Bob Turvey says:

    Said a vet, “I castrate things for fun.
    And the zoo is the place where it’s done.
    Once an elephant there
    Had a rather tough pair
    And it had to be calmed with a bun.”

  72. Terry Marter says:

    A python, a cobra and adder
    Had a threesome entwined in a
    Ladder
    And an angry Taipan
    (who’s just craving a man)
    Is now sulking because they’d not had ‘er.

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The Extinct Zoo”

    We traveled to Yore, walked all through
    A place that indeed, isn’t true.
    We saw dodoes that squawked.
    And lots of Great Auks.
    At the wonderful “Storybook Zoo”

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    My “lover boy” sure makes me drool.
    Our sex life is totally cool.
    When I ask him for more,
    I’m not really sure
    Why he says, “Give me time to retool”

  75. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: (L5)
    Could you please change When he says “Give me time to retool”
    To Why he says, “Give me time to retool”

    Thank you,
    Lisi

    ****
    Done.

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    QUIZ : name the movie

    He taught at a real fancy school.
    His students all thought him a fool.
    And at the Savoy,
    He found his true joy.
    His real name was Peter O’Toole.

  77. Terry Marter says:

    The baboon’s pink bum’s always a smash hit
    With the kids who say nothing can match it.
    They just sit in the zoo
    With their bum in full view
    And then all the kids laugh when they scratch it.

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    Movie Quiz #2

    A matinee idol, (uncool)
    Turns out to be one drunken fool.
    Benji’s out of his mind,
    Cuz now he’s assigned
    To watch over Peter O’Toole.

  79. Terry Marter says:

    I craft tomes in my garden (when sunny)
    About zoos, – my thoughts right on the money.
    But sometimes I miss
    And just end up like this
    With a lim’rick that’s not very funny.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rhyming Error! in the limerick, “The Extinct Zoo” (correction)

    We traveled to Yore, and walked through
    A place that indeed isn’t true.
    Saw a dodo that squawks,
    And lots of Great Auks.
    At the wonderful “Storybook Zoo”

  81. Tony Holmes says:

    Every man has his favourite tool
    Which he keeps bright and shiny. “So cool!”
    Golden rule! Never lend –
    Would you lose your best friend?
    Damaged tool will offend. So, be cruel.

  82. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi’s Movie Quiz: 1

    Movie quiz number one is, “Goodbye,
    Mister Chips.” Here I’m wondering why
    You chose Peter O’Toole?
    Version not at all cool.
    Robert Donat was best, by-the-by.

    Don’t worry Lisi, penny’s dropped. Senior moment. LOL

  83. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi’s Movie Quiz: 2

    Number two is, “My Favourite Year.”
    Not his best work since Lawrence, I fear.
    A great actor, O’Toole,
    But by drink made a fool.
    “He was lovely with Audrey.” “Here, here!”

  84. Tony Holmes says:

    “A menagerie?” “Name before zoo.
    Started out being private but grew—”
    “Into gardens, but why?”
    “Like the one at Versailles –
    Well, what else could they do with the poo?”

  85. Rudy Landesman says:

    Just horsing around

    Once again we are off to the races.
    Lisi’s leading the field by some paces.
    While the rest of us drool,
    She has Limrick, her tool
    Throwing turf from the track in our faces.

  86. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    At the petting zoo, there in the crowd,
    Stood a boy looking gloomy and cowed.
    “Go on, touch them,” I said,
    To which he shook his head,
    “There’s a sign that says, ‘no pets allowed.'”

  87. Tim James says:

    At the zoo I saw kids of young age
    Tease the animals into a rage.
    As my anger I fought
    I had one single thought:
    The wrong critters were inside the cage.

  88. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Movie plot redux :)

    This jigsaw was quirky and cruel,
    With a passion to punish and rule.
    Add torturous terror,
    And doomed trial and error.
    This franchise? A cutting edge tool.

  89. Tony Holmes says:

    Sjaan, Saw 1 through 7 plus Jigsaw and Spiral. LOL T

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    We use a great plumber, named Jack.
    He’s so skillful, he sure has a knack.
    He invented a tool
    That’s exceedingly cool,
    Called “Stikum To Cover My Crack”

  91. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Tony —

    Now, by “saw” do you mean that you’ve seen
    One through nine? ALL that stuff on the screen?
    Frankly, I lost my cool
    With the first torture tool.
    (But, then I also fear halloween).

  92. Clay Wild says:

    After hours, the ‘tame’ zoo comes alive!
    Nothing like what you see nine-to-five
    Smart mon-KEYS spring alL-OX…
    Dance-line ‘trained’, WILD LIFE rocks!
    Hippos hip, the Roos hop, Jaguars jive!

  93. Clay Wild says:

    My ‘fastener’ deceitful? Yes, it’s true…
    Screw ‘up’ or ‘off’ was, sadly, all he knew
    Inclined plane, the simplest tool
    Just wrapped around a spool
    Takes ‘mechanical advantage’ of YOU!

  94. Clay Wild says:

    These zoo animals fit in your hand
    They appeal to sal-I-vary gland…
    Jungle beasts, as lip-smackers
    They’re all animal crackers!
    And the crowd “eats ‘em up”, as they planned!

  95. Terry Marter says:

    A do-gooder who had not a clue
    Stole albino black bear from the zoo
    He “returned” the poor soul
    To the frozen North Pole
    Where he’s shivering ‘n screaming “FUCK YOU!”

  96. Terry Marter says:

    Duel Tulle

    The zoo had invited with pride
    All to see their big ape with new bride
    The gorillas looked cool
    Wearing matching pink tulle
    Such a beautiful sight, – we all cried.

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    For Tony , concerning “Goodbye, Mr. Chips”
    My Response:

    Dear Tony, you might be a fool.
    I had to use Peter O’Toole.
    Never thought he was great,
    But that name carries weight,
    When obeying the “limerick rule”

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    Tony: It appears that you liked “Lawrence of Arabia”, which of course, was a
    masterpiece, but I have a problem with it.

    Dear Tony, you must understand
    (You’re hearing my secret first-hand)
    I might sound like a fool,
    I don’t like Pete O’Toole
    Cuz I have an aversion to sand.

  99. Clay Wild says:

    Zoo creatures foster fondness or fears
    What they teach us can bring us to tears
    To show what a ‘good sport’ is…
    Game of ‘tag’, take the Tortoise
    He’s been ‘it’ now for one hundred years!

  100. Clay Wild says:

    At the zoo, all the natural peace is…
    Broken up by loud monkeys called Rhesus
    Zoo-keeper, well-intended
    Went inside – bad, it ended…
    He was broken up too, yes, in pieces…

  101. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mrs. Goldberg was simply appalled
    When the ape at the zoo wildly mauled
    Her. Then became sad,
    When she realized he had
    Forgotten her, not even called.

  102. Tony Holmes says:

    Sjaan:-

    If I had any say, they’d be banned.
    Not the least bit surprised you’re unmanned.
    It’s abuse of a tool,
    Which is very uncool.
    No, I’ve never seen one. Know the brand.

  103. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi’s secret aversion. My promise:

    It would seem in this inst, I’m the tool –
    Which in parlance UK, means a fool.
    I admit it, ashamed.
    You are not to be blamed.
    An exemplar, you stuck to the rule.

    And your secret is safe. Lips are sealed.
    Though I’m tortured, it won’t be revealed.
    I am cross with O’Toole
    For becoming a fool.
    It’s a fact that I can’t keep concealed.

  104. Juan Gamper says:

    A solitary misanthrope called Hughes
    frequently suffered the blues.
    He then visited the zoos
    from Syracuse to Vaduz
    but was never seen at the zoos of Veracruz

  105. Terry Marter says:

    She was flat-chested, big-arsed but cool
    So her husband invented a tool
    That migrated some bits
    From her arse to her tits
    Now his friends often turn up to drool.

  106. Terry Marter says:

    The TV shows all sorts of views
    Though there’s not often zoos on the news
    But the latest reports
    Cause hysterical snorts
    Seems the Meerkats discovered some booze.

  107. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Did someone say ‘zoos?

    Said the Queen (irritated, imperious)
    To her Fool (slightly south of delirious),
    “When in bed you amuse
    With those stupid kazoos,
    I think, Jester, you cannot be serious.”

  108. Rudy Landesman says:

    O.K. So, it’s movies you guys like? This documentary was done in 2007.

    In the grim documentary “Zoo”
    A young man found his love, big and true.
    He had sex with a horse,
    And that killed him, of course.
    His colon was torn through and through.

    (How’s that for a “Liebestod”, Herr Wagner?)

  109. Lisi Nortman says:

    A rammer is worse than a hammer.
    Much louder, and causes a clamor.
    The self-serving fool
    Who invented this tool.
    Is now in the “rammer room” slammer.

  110. Clay Wild says:

    Graduate of the school of hard knocks
    Trim and molding my business – it rocks!
    Mitre saw as my tool
    I cut angles that you’ll
    Swear are perfect, and blow off your socks!

  111. Clay Wild says:

    Wedding bells, zoo’s baboons, on the slate…
    And the primate’s prime mate, she was late
    When he lifted the tulle
    She resembled a ghoul
    Barks and claps from the seals ‘sealed’ his fate!

  112. Clay Wild says:

    Carpenter’s ‘bag of tricks’ called a box
    Can work magic, so sly, like a fox
    And the ‘tricks’, each a tool
    Craftsman art, makes me drool
    How they master these skills, does flum-MOX…

  113. Clay Wild says:

    In the zoo, the most tiniest ape
    Got his hands on a measuring tape
    Climbed a tree, stretched it high
    ‘Measured up’ – wonder why….?
    He now ‘RULES OVER all’ – mouths agape…!

  114. Clay Wild says:

    Bob Plumb’s my ‘utility man’
    He built my addition per plan
    With plumb bob as his tool
    ‘On the level’, he’s cool!
    Bob Plumb keeps his plumb bob in his van…

  115. Lisi Nortman says:

    Darn it, Mad: If you could delete those last two, (one limerick and one request), I will write this whole thing over. I just noticed another mistake.
    (sorry)
    “It’s not nice to bobb it”

    A scissor’s a real handy tool.
    In all colors, you might think them cool.
    But if wifey’s half-cut,
    And you sleep on your butt,
    She might use it to do something cruel.

    ************
    Done.

  116. Tony Holmes says:

    For Lisi: Sorry, Lisi! I’m struggling for inspiration and riding your coattails is the best I can do at th moment. LOL

    To scissor: a verb, not a tool.
    To Bobb it with one … so not cool.
    Noun: scissors – a pair.
    Even so, still unfair.
    Butt or no butt, it’s still bloody cruel.

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mr. Zebra looked quite out of sync.
    His stripes were not black, they were pink.
    His pals at the zoo,
    Explained, “He is blue,
    Cuz his cartridge is real low on ink”.

  118. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ms. Lady Giraffe had no fear!
    To Mr. Giraffe, made it clear:
    “At this zoo, Mr. G.
    When you’re talking to me,
    Please remember my eyes are up here!”

  119. Lisi Nortman says:

    When his son sneaked away into town,
    Dad flamingo said, (wearing a frown)
    “You must stay in this zoo,
    Hey! I’m talking to you.
    Do NOT make me put my foot down!”

  120. Clay Wild says:

    The zoo’s Python that EVERYONE feared
    Was so DANGEROUS NOBODY neared
    Out of bored isolation
    Chewed his tail, in frustration…
    And kept chewing till he DISAPPEARED!

  121. Clay Wild says:

    All the squeaks, squawks, and words from a parrot
    Zoo birds tweet, honk, and chirp – I can’t bear it!
    There’s a coo, caw, and quack
    That I’d like to send back
    Where’d that bird dropping land? Yes, I wear it…

  122. Clay Wild says:

    Zoo raccoon, Panda bear, they would play…
    They were TRUE BFFs, ALL would say
    So abrupt was their fallout
    Heard a CRASH, knocked a wall out!
    And they BOTH have black eyes, to this day!

  123. Clay Wild says:

    Finally, zoo creatures not so scary…
    Myna bird, cockatiel, and canary
    But unlike all the others
    They ‘talk back’ to their mothers
    This could earn them ‘time-out’ in the aerie…

  124. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s all about the Goo

    It all started out with the goo.
    The scientists know that it’s true.
    Because we’re all here,
    It’s undoubtedly clear:
    From the goo to the zoo then to you.

  125. Rudy Landesman says:

    Mount Olympus had Gods, quite a few.
    They were a cantankerous crew.
    As Plato told Zeus,
    “You take much abuse.
    My God!! You are running a zoo.”

  126. Lisi Nortman says:

    Tony! Do people in your country scissor? Here in the good old U.S.A.
    we CUT with scissors; we don’t scissor. A cross-Atlantic thing perhaps?
    Let’s ask Miss Prissy for some examples:

    “Please give me the scissors, (a tool).
    It’s a noun, not a verb, silly fool.
    And are you aware
    They’re the same as a “pair?”
    And that is the “Miss Prissy Rule”

  127. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hey Lisi,
    Thought you might want to know. (And I’m American)

    Dictionary
    scis·sor
    verb
    1. cut (something) with scissors.
    “pages scissored out of a magazine”
    2. move (one’s legs) back and forth in a way resembling the action of scissors.
    “he was still hanging on, scissoring his legs uselessly”

  128. Mark Totterdell says:

    ‘So is this how I meet the Grim Reaper?’
    Cried the junior elephant keeper,
    As he fell in the pit
    Full of elephant shit
    And sank deeper and deeper and deeper.

  129. Tony Holmes says:

    Dear Lisi!! Allow me to refer you back to your likerick, which begins:
    ‘A scissor’s a real handy tool.’
    My limerick, which followed it, should be read in the light of this first line.
    scissors – plural, not singular.
    (also a pair of scissors) ‘I needed a pair of scissors to cut it open.’

    And thank you to Rudy for saving me the trouble.

    PS. You’re so sexy when you’re cross. (That’s Lisi, Rudy, not you – though I’m sure you have your moments. LOL)

  130. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi: addendum:

    I may be just a silly old fool,
    And pedantic to boot, as a rule.
    But a job that’s worth doing,
    Be it Bobb-it or screwing,
    Is a job that demands the right tool.

  131. Tony Holmes says:

    Stubborn people resemble the mule
    And to move them requires the right tool.
    An incentive, some say,
    Plus, a spur is the way,
    But I favour big bangs as a rule.

  132. Mark Totterdell says:

    When a limerick mentions a tool,
    It is usually rude, as a rule.
    If you think this one’s rude,
    Then it’s been misconstrued
    As it’s perfectly harmless, you fool!

  133. Mark Totterdell says:

    In the old zoological park,
    A young earthpig was roused in the dark
    By his mate, who’d in mind
    Hours of love. He declined,
    As it sounded too much like ‘aard vark.

  134. Mark Totterdell says:

    In the zoo, an old elephant, Ernie,
    Long deprived of his freedom to journey
    By the bars on his cage,
    Was so maddened by rage,
    He demanded to see his attorney.

  135. Rudy Landesman says:

    Saint Francis, as you surely knew,
    In Assisi he went to the zoo.
    As you must have heard,
    He spoke to a bird,
    Not only just one, but a few.

  136. Tim James says:

    Said a gal to her guy: “Though you’re cool,
    I like circumcised men, as a rule.”
    He’s not keen on it, but
    He’s agreed to get cut.
    Thus their love life he’s gonna re-tool.

  137. Terry Marter says:

    Channel 2 sent a Crew to the Zoo.
    On the News was the Zoo’s two new Gnu
    Zoo crew Knew the old Gnus
    would soon Be the old News
    As would Later, the Two new gnus Too.

  138. Clay Wild says:

    The zoo’s ‘Prairie Dog Park’ was quite tame
    All the ‘dogs’ (peek-a-boo!) look the same
    Ups and downs, hard to find
    ‘Whack-a-Mole’ comes to mind
    Heads or Tails, you can’t lose with this ‘game’…

  139. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sign At The Zoo: Must Obey!

    “There is something we strongly suggest!
    “And we hope that it will be addressed:
    To a tiger, you’re sweet,
    A real special treat.
    Keep Your Distance! You’re hard to digest.

  140. Mark Totterdell says:

    When the animals down in the zoo
    Want to do what all animals do,
    They have nowhere to meet
    Private, safe and discreet,
    So they do it right there in full view.

  141. Kirk Miller says:

    All the doves that are housed at the zoo
    Are upset and decide to pursue
    A revolt, overthrow
    The zookeepers. You know
    That the doves will be staging a coo.

  142. Lisi Nortman says:

    (Inspired By Bob Seger)
    “My Job At The Zoo”

    Mr. Zookeeper’s nice cause he lets
    Me name all the zoo’s newest pets:
    Mr. Elephant’s “Bones”
    And his wife I named “Stones”
    Cause “Rock & Roll Never Forgets”

  143. Terry Marter says:

    Our 70’s music was cool
    In cassette, all wound up on a spool
    But not so much fun
    when the tape came undone
    A pencil, our best fix-it tool.

  144. Terry Marter says:

    Mad, would you please delete my Limerick at May 8th. (12.52am) thanks.

    ****
    Done.

  145. Terry Marter says:

    A few metric miles from New Marden
    a new zoological garden
    breeds Fauna exquisite.
    Their key pre-requisite, –
    That one of each pair has a hard ‘n.

  146. Tim James says:

    When in Oz, just avoid the zoo there,
    With its lions, and tigers, and bear.
    (Bet you’re thinking “Oh my!”)
    It’s disgusting. Here’s why:
    Flying monkeys fling poop from the air.

  147. Rudy Landesman says:

    RuPaul dressed in drag, as a rule,
    But never, no never wore tulle.
    That stuff’s a disgrace.
    He much preferred lace.
    He was a true queen, not a fool.

  148. Ken Gosse says:

    [Inspired by Mad’s gnuest limerick today but also because I asked my daughter yesterday how they get milk from an almond.]

    Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut ~
    For my daughter, lactose can be cruel;
    an Intel engineer, she’s no fool.
    I asked, “How do you milk
    tiny almonds for silk?”
    “Two small fingers are best. There’s no tool.”

  149. Lisi Nortman says:

    Intermarriage at Central Park Zoo
    Is outlawed and simply taboo.
    But when love’s in the air,
    Them critters don’t care.
    In June Mrs. Deer-Dhole is due.

  150. Clay Wild says:

    The zoo’s jackals will constantly chatter
    While hyenas prefer just to natter
    They both scavenge at night
    And maraud with delight
    Good for laughs, but they’re NO laughing matter…

  151. Clay Wild says:

    The long-SNOUT-ed anteater named Will
    While still YOUNG, hovered ‘over-the-HILL’…
    His apt nickname was ‘Hoover’
    Ants (and Uncles) – hors D’OEU-vre!
    ‘Vacuum snort’ till he’d eaten his fill…

  152. Clay Wild says:

    So, the Aardvark, a ‘night owl’ type guy
    Asked the Barn Owl, one night, how to fly
    Raised a stink ‘bove his pen
    The he ‘phew’ back again…
    As he was, belly up, in his sty

  153. Clay Wild says:

    Said the Bactrian, “How do you do you do?”
    To a camel, ‘joe’ break, passing through
    “Since a Dromedar-y
    I predict, to a ‘tea’
    That you DO prefer one lump, vice two!”

  154. Lisi Nortman says:

    Not A Duplicate

    Intermarriage at Central Park Zoo
    Is forbidden and simply taboo.
    But when love’s in the air,
    Them critters don’t care.
    In June, baby Deer-Dhole is due.

  155. Tony Holmes says:

    By the light of the silvery moon,
    A giraffe wooed a lady baboon.
    She wasn’t enamoured.
    “You’re too t-tall,” she stammered,
    “And besides that, you sing out of tune.”

  156. Mike Young says:

    My grandma quite often wore tulle
    As a veil and she hoped she would fool
    Those looking to see
    If it really was she
    That was holding a dangerous tool.

  157. Mike Young says:

    I’ve heard that we have a new zoo
    At Mare Al Lago. If it’s true
    We’ll need to make sure
    That it never gets more
    Inmates that we all might just rue.

  158. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mary Visits The Zoo

    Don’t believe all that cuddlesome hype.
    I’m so shattered, I sure have to gripe.
    Tried to hug the zoo bear,
    But he have me the air.
    Cuz he told me, “You’re just not my type”

  159. Clay Wild says:

    Otter, loon, and a duck all collided!
    Botched the surgery – surgeon derided…
    Kinda looks like ‘road kill’
    Otter ‘stuck’ with the ‘bill’…
    And zoo ‘Platypus’ what ‘coincided’…!

  160. Clay Wild says:

    Flying squirrel, Sugar Glider, – the FINAL!
    The ‘Soar-Off’, in 2 heats, was BINAL…
    Sugar Glider, ‘Toot Sweet’
    Agony of defeat…
    Squirrel Rose, by a nose, it was RHINAL!

  161. Clay Wild says:

    So the Ostrich and Peacock – a show-down!
    To ‘impress Ms Emu’ the low-down…
    The Ostrich did prevail
    It was quite a ‘sad tail’…
    When Big ’O’ wrecked P’s plume with a mow-down!

  162. Roger Haugen says:

    A pistol’s an excellent tool,
    When it comes to fighting a duel;
    One shot to the head–
    The other guy’s dead,
    Unless you’re the unlucky fool.

  163. Roger Haugen says:

    The porn king sat down on the stool
    And whipped out his thirteen-inch tool;
    The girls were in shock–
    The sight of his cock,
    Was enough to make them all drool.

  164. Clay Wild says:

    Spider Monkey vs. Spider – who’ll win?
    Yes, I KNOW the score BEFORE they begin
    I won’t ID my source
    ‘Nil-to-Nil’ – why, of course!
    You can ‘catch’ all the ‘scores’ n the ‘web’!

  165. Rudy Landesman says:

    A. Hamilton, killed in a duel.
    A pistol was used as the tool.
    He lives on in a show.
    Get a ticket, just go!
    Guaranteed that you simply will drool.

  166. Rudy Landesman says:

    The rabbi did like, as a rule,
    To lecture his flock in his shul.
    The whole congregation
    Deemed him a sensation.
    The bible was his only tool.

  167. Clay Wild says:

    Quite a ‘flap’ for ‘who rules’ from male ‘phants
    “Pack your trunk!”, “Leave this town!”, were the rants
    But most ‘pull’ in zoo park
    Comes from cow Matriarch
    It’s ‘no bull’, since the Mom ‘wears the pants’!

  168. Clay Wild says:

    “I need help!”, cried endangered red squirrel
    “For this zoo job, I need one referral…
    With a jolt, twitch, and flinch
    Asked the rare Mangrove Finch
    Who just chirped, “Oh, I can’t, you’re too neural!”

  169. Rudy Landesman says:

    Count Dracula dated a ghoul.
    They’d met once when they were in school.
    To her great delight
    He bit her all night.
    His teeth were a great loving tool.

  170. Rudy Landesman says:

    You might ask how we French bake our boule.
    Yes, it’s made with a top secret tool.
    No, not any old oaf
    Could create such a loaf.
    And I’m not telling tales out of school.

  171. Rudy Landesman says:

    Poor Oliver Twist ate his gruel.
    That watery slop was the tool
    To keep kids in line.
    Did Oliver whine?
    What the Dickens, that kid was no fool.

  172. Rudy Landesman says:

    The beer that is made by O’Doul
    Just happens to be a great tool
    For quenching your thirst.
    But please chill it first
    To be not too cold, but just cool.

  173. Clay Wild says:

    There’s no ants worse than ‘ants in your pants’…
    Oh, UNLESS all the ants are FIRE ants!
    For their bite’s worse than bark
    Unless you’re an aardvark…
    Then, the ants launch ‘DEFY-ANTS’ with RANTS!

  174. Tim James says:

    She’s a baker; her son is a fool
    (Bluntly stated, he’s not a sharp tool).
    She caught him one day
    In her kitchen, at play:
    “Hey, a Frisbee that ain’t! It’s a boule!”

  175. Clay Wild says:

    Jack Rabbit starts on the Lynx, six a.m.
    Tiger team shoots the Bull, then mayhem…
    These ain’t AN-imals (LAUGH…)
    They’re the zoo-keeper’s staff
    Golf game DID net an Eagle (ah-hem…)

  176. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hey Tim James,
    I am flattered that my “boule” limerick inspired you to write one too.
    But, using the same rhymes? I might charge you royalties.😏
    Rudy

    **************

    From Mad 5/13/21 at 11:04 PM:

    Rudy, please don’t throw around accusations, even in jest.

    Tim’s been entering my Limerick-Offs for many, many years, and he DOESN’T copy people. I doubt that he even read your limerick, before writing his own. And you don’t own the sole right to use the word “boule.”

    Moreover, since the word “tool” was required, the only non-required similarity is that you were both clever enough to use the word boule. Your limericks are actually very different.

  177. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Mix Up

    The books which are written by sages
    Claim “Something went wrong through the ages.
    “The guilty walk free,
    Now how could that be?
    While the innocent all live in cages?”

  178. Lisi Nortman says:

    The gibbon (it’s true), mates for life.
    Nice fam’lys, you’ll never see strife.
    Yet all of them know,
    That there’s one gibbon, “Schmo”
    Who constantly cheats on his wife.

  179. Lisi Nortman says:

    better

    The gibbon, (it’s true) mates for life.
    Wholesome fam’lys, you’ll never see strife.
    But all of them know
    ‘Bout a gibbon named Schmo,
    Who constantly cheats on his wife.

  180. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hi Mad,
    Sorry about that. I certainly did not mean to offend anyone, least of all, Tim. I even must concede that his “boule” limerick may just be better than mine, but I was amused that his “boule” followed so close upon mine.

    Mea culpa. I’ll not do it again.

    Rudy

    **********
    Thanks, Rudy! Of course I do take legitimate allegations of plagiarism seriously, and if any occurs, it should be reported to me via email. But I am pleased to say that in all my years running this Limerick-Off, not one such plagiarism incident has ever taken place.

  181. Rudy Landesman says:

    A guest at my party, a fool,
    Jumped into my unheated pool;
    Although he’d been told
    The water’s too cold.
    The iciness shriveled his tool.

  182. Terry Marter says:

    Said the ape to his keeper one night
    “Hey girl you’re a beautiful sight”
    And although quite surprised
    When she saw his thing rise
    She chose not to put up a fight.

  183. Terry Marter says:

    Said the ape to his keeper one night
    “I think this is love at first sight”
    The girl backed away
    shouting “No way José”
    But One night she thought “I just might“

  184. Lisi Nortman says:

    Billy and Nanny Tough It Out: A Marriage Gone Bad

    Although the zoo culture forbids,
    Divorce, they were still on the skids.
    Through all kinds of weather,
    The Goats stayed together,
    But only because of the kids.

  185. Terry Marter says:

    At the zoo, writing lim’ricks through lunch
    ‘Got this great idea (based on a hunch)
    You’ll hear laughter for miles
    They will die in the aisles
    (sigh)
    If only my last line had punch.

  186. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Kind Of ? Improvement from May 2nd.

    I write limericks ev-er-y day.
    With words, I consistently play.
    But I do use a tool.
    To make them sound cool:
    I hammer and hammer away.

  187. Lisi Nortman says:

    I went to the zoo with my Mama.
    I’m simple, so why all this drama?
    Why’s that “g” in a gnu?
    I haven’t a clue.
    And what’s with those 2 L’s in llama?

  188. Lisi Nortman says:

    “A Letter To Brother Johnny” (chapter 2 of above limerick)

    Dear Johnny, we went to the zoo.
    In a minute or two, we were through!
    Cuz the spelling was dumb,
    So we’re ready to come
    Back home. Miss you so much, Love SSUE.

  189. Clay Wild says:

    So two zoo antelopes did elope
    Had to cope with a slope with some rope
    Said HE ‘lope, “I’m no dope!
    It’s as slippery as soap!”
    She said, “IS there a ring…?!” He said, “Nope…”

    (maybe a soap ring….?)

  190. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: from today at 2:37 Could you please switch lines 3 and 4,
    so instead of “Why’s that g in a gnu, I haven’t a clue.” Instead,
    I would like it to read:
    I haven’t a clue
    Why that g’s in a gnu.

    Thank You,
    Lisi

  191. Clay Wild says:

    As a kid, Howard (antelope) grew…
    Whiz at calculus from age of two!
    He told me, secretly…
    “Photograph memory…”
    And that’s just how I know Howie Gnu…

  192. Clay Wild says:

    Circus seal, sealed his fate, ran away…
    With the zoo seals he’s frolic and play
    ‘On the ball’, zoo-keep Nick
    Said, “I’m onto your trick!
    On your nose, the ball GAVE you away!”

  193. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hi Lisi,
    This might be of interest to you. According to Google.

    “(The “G” in “GNU” is not silent.) ….. The ⟨kn⟩ and ⟨gn⟩ letter combinations usually indicate a Germanic origin of the word.”

    Also “llama” is pronounced “yama” in Spanish and therefor spelled with two “L’s”
    Rudy

  194. Terry Marter says:

    We have so much poop in the zoo
    That we use it for fuel (yes we do)
    It’s collected en masse
    Then converted to gas
    And includes contributions from You!

  195. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rudy: Before I wrote the limerick, I checked my “pronuciation ” guide and that’s what I went by. The words were pronounced exactly as I thought,
    and I made sure I was correct.

    That’s it ! Lisi

  196. Steve Benko says:

    Said Donald to Stormy, “My tool
    Is enough to make any girl drool.
    They jump up and salute!”
    But she said, “Though it’s cute,
    I prefer larger ones, as a rule.”

  197. Steve Benko says:

    “For digging up graves,” said the ghoul,
    “This shovel is too minuscule.
    For cadaver retrieval,
    It’s truly medieval;
    A backhoe is my kind of tool.”

  198. Steve Benko says:

    “Carole Baskin? That woman’s psychotic,”
    From prison declared Joe Exotic.
    But who cares if it’s true
    That she pilfered his zoo?
    Because frankly, they’re both idiotic.

  199. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    When young Gino would proffer his tool,
    Which he used to make pretty girls drool,
    Some would always chime in,
    “It’s too thick!” “It’s too thin!”
    So he stopped making pasta fazool.

  200. Clay Wild says:

    Baby Rhino, since he was born he…
    Thought of HER, if he might, forLORN be
    Hannah Hippo next door
    She, his GIRTH, did adore
    Tickled pink, since he always was horn-y…

  201. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    My menagerie, I must confess,
    Though domestic has grown to excess:
    Cats and rats and baboons,
    Beagles, eagles, raccoons….
    But no people. They make too much mess.

  202. Sondra Landin says:

    For my flirty young cousin it’s cool
    To go skinny dip, ocean not pool;
    He waves at the girls,
    Then swims in wide swirls,
    Fleeing jellyfish stinging his tool!

  203. Sondra Landin says:

    The little girl perched on a stool,
    So prettily dressed in blue tulle,
    And now how would she do?
    Would they clap, would they boo?
    She played and soon wowed the whole school!

  204. Sondra Landin says:

    The zookeeper had an old friend,
    Who liked time in the cages to spend;
    When the lions were famished
    He should have been banished;
    He came to an untimely end.

  205. Sondra Landin says:

    Hi Mad – last minute, I know! Would you please change Lines 4 and 5 of the limerick submitted at 2:08 today to:

    Then swims in wide swirls,
    Fleeing jellyfish stinging his tool!

    Thanks muchly

    *****
    Done

  206. Terry Marter says:

    Whenever you visit the zoo
    Be sure to pronounce G in Gnu.
    With Some words we say
    You must Not pronounce K
    A befitting example: “Who Knew?”

  207. madkane says:

    The Limerick-Off results and the new Limerick-Off will be posted tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon. Sorry for the delay!

  208. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 469. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Track.