Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIDE or SIGHED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 9, 2020 at 4 p.m. (Eastern Time)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIDE or SIGHED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHALLENGES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHALLENGE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 9 or 10, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 9, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.) PLEASE NOTE THE NEW, EARLIER DEADLINE!

Here’s my SIDE-Rhymed limerick:

’Twas deceptively lovely outside,
But a problem was readily spied:
Though the sun was a-glitter,
No humans! (No litter!)
I retreated — electing to hide.

And here’s my CHALLENGE-themed limerick:

Feeling trapped in your house? Join the crowd!
(Except joining a crowd ain’t allowed.)
Though our viral constraints
May be cause for complaints,
We must cope with the challenge unbowed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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117 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIDE or SIGHED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 9, 2020 at 4 p.m. (Eastern Time)”

  1. Sharon Neeman says:

    When they said we’d be staying inside,
    I confess that I cursed and I cried.
    Six weeks later, I find
    That I’m mostly resigned
    (Also short-nailed, gray-headed and wide).

  2. Sharon Neeman says:

    Although challenges surely abound,
    I’m determined to win in this round —
    Not just vanquish the tomb
    Using masks, soap and Zoom,
    But avoid even one extra pound.

  3. Sharon Neeman says:

    Sorry, Mad — that should be “but avoid even one extra pound.” Can you fix that?


  4. Brian Allgar says:

    “For them viruses lurking inside,
    Disinfectant’s the stuff to be tried.
    If you don’t like the taste,
    Hey, it can be replaced –
    Same result if you take cyanide.”

  5. Patrice Stewart says:

    ‘Twas a challenge to turn on her side
    As the double bed wasn’t that wide.
    But she lifted one thigh,
    Rolled and caught him – first try,
    And their passion would not be denied.

  6. Patrice Stewart says:

    I’m so misunderstood, DT sighed;
    What’s this concept, the President lied?
    I’m allergic to truth,
    Like this here Baby Ruth,
    So it’s honesty I can’t abide.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Donald Trump takes extravagant pride
    In his intellect. “Can’t be denied,
    I’m incredibly smart!
    My IQ’s off the chart –
    See, that’s me, on the far left-hand side.”

  8. Patrice Stewart says:

    Up In the Air

    Black leather, he promised a ride
    To the bold one who came to his side.
    So they left the loud bar,
    His place wasn’t too far;
    Hands explored, and together they sighed.

    Satin sheets gleamed as black as the night,
    Smiles exchanged as he turned off the light.
    Fast and hot, loud and wet,
    Would she let him? She let…
    One could say that things got very tight
    (Those black sheets soon were spotted with white).

  9. Mike Moulton says:

    If Trump’s harebrained schemes were applied,
    By those who take, always, his side,
    I’d buy stock in Lysol
    And enjoy the windfall
    But not use it for what he’s implied.

  10. Steve Frakt says:

    The sad chicken just sat there and cried
    Couldn’t cross to the roads’ other side
    Though it may evoke
    The worlds’ oldest joke
    That highway was just too damn wide

  11. Steve Frakt says:

    I’m writing a limerick each day
    My challenge to keep the dementia away
    But if I should fail
    To avoid this travail
    I never would know it, anyway

  12. Kirk Miller says:

    During Scrabble a challenge is heard,
    But a penalty won’t be incurred.
    The letter formation
    Receives vindication,
    ‘Cause the player’s as good as his word.

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    On the cruise, Charlie coughed and he died
    The doctor on board, then implied:
    “Folks, it’s not what you think!
    His wife poisoned his drink”
    (In relief, all the passengers sighed)

  14. Lisi Nortman says:

    On that day, all the new rules applied
    And Ms. Brothel was one real strict guide:
    Before they could play
    Ev’ry client must pay
    Only then could they all come inside

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Manager Speaks

    “Here’s a challenge that’s hard to obey!
    All grocery “baggers must play:
    When you get a nice tip
    Who’s the one who won’t slip
    And say, “Thank you, and have a nice day”

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    Another Challenge

    The new challenge at Subway’s real dumb
    Yet the winner will get a great sum
    As you order your meat
    With additions you’ll eat
    All that time, you may not utter, “Umm”

  17. Tim James says:

    If there’s one thing I cannot abide
    It’s to “shelter in place” (i.e., hide).
    I endure this bad dream
    With a pint of ice cream
    And an order of fries on the side.

  18. Lisi Nortman says:

    My jacket hung on the wrong side
    But its label had nothing to hide
    The letters were bold
    A story it told:
    “Made In China: America’s Pride”

  19. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Donald Trump with Mike Pence at his side
    gives new meaning to Jekyll and Hyde.
    No, wait –that’s too kind,
    so if you don’t mind,
    let’s go with Godzilla and Bride.

  20. Reopen America wide!”
    say protesters missing their pride.
    Most just want to live
    while the psychos don’t give
    a damn now that Trump’s on their side.

  21. The mate of a wealthy young bride
    Claimed she’d choked on some chick-peas and died.
    But the coroner found
    That the chick-peas were ground…
    So they’re calling her death hummus-cide.

  22. The survivalists thought they would hide
    In their bunkers. That’s when they first tried
    The beans they bulk-bought
    Back in two-thousand-aught…
    Now they think we should ALL go outside.


    “War President”! Turgid with pride,
    Trump trumpets the words far and wide.
    But no leader before
    In the time of a war
    Chose to fight on the enemy’s side.

  24. Birx stands at the President’s side
    As the madman continues his slide
    Into public disgrace.
    And the look on her face
    Says, “I’m only along for the ride!”

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    We never have seen eye to eye
    It’s a challenge to even get by
    So I go out and run
    Till my suffering’s done
    (Now I can’t leave the house, so I cry)

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: line 5 was supposed to be: Now I can’t leave the house ,
    so I cry. Could you please fix it for me?
    Thank You, Lisi


  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    challenge and side: double
    The “Polar Bear Plunge” is a winter event at which time people plunge into water in freezing cold temperatures

    The “Polar Bear” challenge takes thinking
    ‘Bout issues, (but one isn’t sinking)
    Cause men have their pride
    And they have to decide:
    “Is this project worth all of that shrinking?”

  28. From watching Trump’s briefings, we’ve seen
    The infection is deadly and mean.
    Though the threat is severe,
    We’ll defeat it — no fear!
    (Then go on to fight COVID-19…)

  29. “Let’s surrender,” the General sighed.
    “We can’t defeat Hitler. We tried,
    But the Nazis’ defense
    Makes a whole lot of sense:
    ‘We’re just being sarcastic,’ they cried.”

    (Note to the President: THIS is sarcasm.)

  30. I’m tensing my muscles with dread
    As I think of the challenge ahead.
    I push through the hurt,
    All my strength to exert —
    And… I’VE DONE IT! I got out of bed.

  31. Tim James says:

    It’s a challenge to stand by the side
    Of a guy whose cerebrum is fried.
    Take a bow, Dr. Fauci;
    Try not to be grouchy.
    Don’t fret; it’s not you we deride.

  32. Tim Gray says:

    Nicole breathed deeply and sighed.
    She recalled how her neighbour had spied
    On her in the shower,
    And for more than an hour
    As she nude sunbathed outside.

  33. Tim Gray says:

    In debates, there’s more than one side,
    Mine, and that to be denied.
    I can so easy reject
    ‘Cause I’m always correct,
    And that’s nothing to do with my pride.

  34. Tim Gray says:

    Gangsters Moll

    Evelyn was suitably horrified
    When told she’s Al’s bit on the side.
    Then Capone put that straight,
    Said she’s his regular date,
    She was quite happy and justly mollified

  35. Tim Gray says:

    Republicans shan’t be denied
    Having justice and truth on our side
    I’ll take my gun
    And shoot every one
    Of all those Democrats who’ve lied.

    Alternate last line…
    Till all Democrats in Hell have fried.

  36. Tim Gray says:

    You can push the blame to one side
    But there’s one thing you cannot hide,
    You were told to take heed,
    But you said “There’s no need,
    The bugs not coming!” You lied.

  37. Tim Gray says:

    The Ultimate Challenge

    The “Pursuit of Happiness” will fail
    To catch it e’er by the tail.
    Enjoy every task,
    Of no glory ask,
    And “Happiness” shall then prevail.

  38. Talk of challenging jobs? Here’s a peach:
    Doctor Fauci’s. No day at the beach,
    Reassuring the press
    After Trump’s made a mess,
    And then warning folks not to drink bleach!

    But if THAT wasn’t bad enough, Fauci
    Has to reason with Trump when he’s grouchy.
    Trump’s feelings get hurt
    When we mock his last blurt,
    And the Doc has to bandage the ouchie.

    (Sorry, Tim J. — I’m “borrowing” your rhyme…!)

  39. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Trumpty Dumpty sits high on his wall.
    It’s an unstable perch all in all.
    If he rolls off the side
    on a plummeting ride,
    he’ll most surely crack up in the fall.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    “I am speaking to you on behalf
    Of the President’s bumbling staff
    The challenge today
    Is to hear what he’ll say
    And the winner’s the one who won’t laugh”

  41. I can meet any challenge with pride
    By repeating my mantra inside.
    I’ll face my attackers
    While saying, “It’s crackers
    Slipping rozzers the dropsy in snide!”

    (Out of Competition — I had to wreck the rhythm for the sake of the old MAD magazine joke.)

  42. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Some reporters have asked Dr. Birx
    if the “scarf thing” is one of her quirks.
    She takes it in stride,
    says, “All kidding aside —
    like Donald, you mean?” Then she smirks.

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ll have salad, with Ranch on the side
    And the most pricey steak you provide
    Don’t forget the red wine
    One that’s simply divine
    Give the check to my lovely new bride

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new surgeon was Dr. John Hyde
    Who said he’s the “best” but he lied
    He had so many flaws
    And I know this because
    My new hip was put on the wrong side

  45. Tim James says:

    A flutist was taken aside
    ‘Cause his ‘tude was increasingly snide.
    He got hit in the snoot
    With a pastry of fruit.
    And that’s how the piper got pied.

  46. My mother took Brother’s side
    I knew full well he had lied
    Did he trip on the floor
    when his right fist is sore?
    He hurt much more than his pride.

  47. Wayne Feder says:

    Come children and sit by my side,
    We must find you a safe place to hide.
    A new Piper is here
    To prey on your fear,
    Only this one is orange and not pied

  48. Wayne Feder says:

    Be our cheerleader – fill us with pride,
    (one approach that you haven’t yet tried).
    You can wiggle your hips
    And do double-back flips
    While Stormy high kicks at your side.

  49. Roger Haugen says:

    He leaned back and heaved a big sigh,
    After downing three pieces of pie;
    Then gobbled three more,
    Threw up on the floor,
    And couldn’t quite understand why.

  50. Roger Haugen says:

    His brain was the toast of Fidenza,,
    But up to the standards of Mensa?
    He gave its his best
    But flunked the whole test–
    “Those-a questions they make-a no sense-a.”

  51. Roger Haugen says:

    Poor Icarus had to have sighed
    Near the end of his ill-fated ride;
    What must he have felt,
    His wings in a melt–
    The first aviator who died?

  52. Roger Haugen says:

    Get cracking, my poetic muse,
    And give me some lines I can use;
    Just do what you can,
    If the stuff doesn’t scan,
    The least I can do is refuse.

  53. Tim Gray says:

    I Try My Hardest

    It’s not what I say, it’s what you understand.
    Your reply comments are quite underhand.
    I make things quite simple, especially for you.
    If you miss the point, what can I do?
    All while “Fake News” fires you have fanned.

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    With her loved ones right there at her side
    A woman of courage had died
    She hoped to go far
    And reach for a star
    Her dreams all came true, (Sally Ride)

  55. Tim James says:

    She challenged me: “Bet you can’t drink
    More then three rum-and-cokes an still think.”
    Wel, i took that their bet.
    wen was that? i firget.
    cuz i think i migt bee drunking stink

  56. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Wayne Manor wiped out by defacement,
    ill-starred Batman bemoaned its replacement.
    “I was looked on with pride
    until Covid,” he sighed.
    “Now I’m forced to go live in debasement.”

  57. Ilene Wright says:

    Michelle O. was proclaimed a media WOW;
    To worship and everyone to kowtow;
    In inauguration at O’s side,
    It was the whole nation that sighed,
    In the fact that she walked like a cow.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    I love my new beautiful bride
    She’s my lover, my friend, and my guide
    But still, I’m quite sure
    That she’ll soon be a bore
    So I’ve hired one more for the side

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    “A Fair Exchange In These Unusual Times”

    I’ve a challenge for you, if you dare
    Are you willing to have an affair?
    I don’t know who you are
    But we’ll boink in your car
    After that, can you please cut my hair?

  60. Tim Gray says:

    Till I had nought left inside,
    I tried and I tried and I tried
    To start the mower but alas,
    It had run out of gas,
    At the empty can I looked and sighed.

  61. Dave Johnson says:

    We’ve looked at the mirror and sighed;
    That image we cannot abide.
    We’ll all have the blues
    With our D.I.Y ‘dos;
    Coronacuts no one can hide.

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sherlock Holmes is right here by my side
    I have chosen the world’s greatest guide!
    And boy! what a pro!
    He said, “Donald, let’s go
    And uncover where immigrants hide”

  63. Dave Johnson says:

    The challenge was born on a dare;
    That couple would screw in mid-air.
    Their skydiving hump
    After making the jump
    An aerial tryst then and there.

    Connected, they dropped from the plane;
    Then banging like they were insane.
    Their downward descent
    Was a naughty event
    Unfolding above the terrain.

    The landing was soft in the end;
    But maybe the start of a trend.
    “Fantastic!” they said;
    “Way more fun than in bed;
    The next time, we’re bringing a friend.”

  64. Mike Young says:

    Is Trump really there? How we sighed
    ‘Cos he’s taken us all for a ride.
    What on earth can we do?
    It would help if we knew
    How to set him aside, ‘gainst the tide.

  65. Mike Young says:

    Find a limerick hidden in Stonehenge?
    It might have been hewed in revenge.
    If it’s found to be true
    That’s a challenge to hit me and you
    Because chiseller’s too old to avenge.

  66. Ilene Wright says:

    The “articulate” Joe Biden just sighed;
    His polls numbers continued their slide;
    “I do make the gaffes,
    But just do it for laughs,
    Okay, you got me, I lied”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    Pandemic Necessities

    My owner and I used to nuzzle
    But not anymore, (what a puzzle!)
    At first I just sighed
    Then I broke down and cried
    And also, he’s stolen my muzzle

  68. Jean McEwen says:

    I’ll admit that I like to deride
    Trump supporters; I taunt them and chide
    Them for lacking a brain.
    (They are, frankly, insane.)
    It’s fun being a thorn in their side.

  69. Jean McEwen says:

    There are those who enjoy challenging work.
    But not me! My approach is to shirk
    From, avoid, and evade
    All hard tasks—yet get paid
    Like a king, not a penniless clerk.

  70. Sharon Neeman says:

    Cop: “You both say you’ve not been outside,
    But there’s something not quite bona fide:
    Ma’am, your hair’s full of grass;
    Sir, there’s mud on your ass,
    And you’re blushing… in shame, or with pride?”

  71. Sharon Neeman says:

    They’ll be opening shops, people say…
    The new challenge: to figure a way
    To get color, a blouse,
    Some new books for the house,
    And a pedicure — all the same day!

  72. Dave Johnson says:

    Trump’s staff has a challenge each day:
    De-amplify what he might say.
    They’re having to teach
    Him that gargling bleach
    Would make all his fans go away.

  73. Sharon Neeman says:

    I planned this Zoom weeks in advance,
    Leaving little or nothing to chance.
    ‘Twas a challenge, I’ll own,
    But top brass said I shone —
    OH MY GOD, I forgot to wear pants!!

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Ladies Of Morale

    My “honey sop” won’t ride astride
    She says there are parts she should “hide”
    Sweetkins just won’t be coarse
    When it comes to her horse
    She’s real modest and must ride aside

  75. Lisi Nortman says:

    Pandemic Dilemma

    A manicure’s what I’ve been needing
    I surely have not been succeeding
    Oh Wow! how I sighed
    When I finally tried
    And noticed each finger was bleeding

  76. Ilene Wright says:

    Libs are all fearing their blight;
    Also Biden’s dementia plight;
    It’s a challenge insane,
    To look for a brain,
    In Biden or any liberal in sight!

  77. Ilene Wright says:

    Biden’s new challenge a mishap?
    “Asserting I assaulted staffers is madcap;
    While I did like to sniff hair,
    It’s not the hair that’s up there,
    But only until I gave them the Clap!”

  78. Ilene Wright says:

    College girls want masculinity to retreat;
    “Toxic” masculinity hands snowflakes defeat;
    Equal valuation for their side,
    Though symbolic castration applied,
    Redefining is the only way they compete!

  79. Ilene Wright says:

    Colleges teach gender aversion;
    To challenge gender neutrality conversion;
    But at bar-time students shmooze,
    And their obsolete genitalia they use,
    To engage in every form of perversion!

  80. Kirk Miller says:

    To surprise her new husband, the bride
    Wrapped herself in Saran Wrap with pride.
    He arrived home from work;
    Saw his wife. With a smirk,
    Said, “Not lefto’ers again!” and he sighed.

  81. Steve Frakt says:

    His erection was so hard to hide
    That he could barely keep it inside
    But he was quite handy
    When his cock got so randy
    And quickly came to make it subside

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    yesterday from 12:12 PM: a better version of “My Honey Sop”

    My “honey sop” won’t ride astride
    She insists there are parts she must “hide”
    Sweetie just won’t be coarse
    When it comes to her horse
    She has pride, so she must ride aside

  83. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    It’s a challenge to follow this credo:
    “When in public don’t flaunt your libido.”
    But now that our tasks
    involve wearing masks,
    we can flaunt all we want incognito!

  84. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    At Ground Zero the nurses who tried
    telling jokes to push misery aside,
    said they couldn’t explain
    why it helped ease their pain,
    or why sometimes they laughed till they cried.

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Every Virus Has A Silver Lining”

    With astonishment, oh how I sighed !
    My fav-o-rite rock star can’t hide
    Ev’ry where that I went
    It was just “heaven sent”
    (And I thought Michael Jackson had died)

  86. Steve Whitred says:

    On the PornHub she’s kinky and brave
    She has fetishes; master and slave,
    Sixty-nine or astride,
    On their knees or their side
    But that maskless taboo is her fave

  87. Steve Whitred says:

    In before-times we’d go for a ride
    Stop at shops and salons far and wide
    And the quaint things we’d say
    From way back in the day:
    ”Trim a bit off the top and the side

  88. Steve Whitred says:

    In Canada people are smart
    Public health measures taken to heart
    Like the rule that’s applied
    When we’re working outside:
    “Stay a caribou’s distance apart”

  89. Steve Whitred says:

    The police have a challenging task
    Cuz each witness they happened to ask
    Swore the bank robber guys
    Used a cunning disguise
    In that none of the gang wore a mask

  90. Steve Whitred says:

    Pandemics are tough to forestall
    So the Chinese are taking the fall
    Trump is making them pay
    I believe in the way
    He made Mexico pay for ‘The Wall’

  91. Steve Whitred says:

    It’s a challenge, but what can we do
    Since the Chinese exported their flu
    All those tariffs went bust
    So I think that we must
    Build a wall along their border too

  92. Tim Gray says:

    Honest Abe was he called,
    At his candour some were appalled.
    So how many sighed
    When they heard that Trump lied?
    Was his run for office forestalled?

  93. Tim Gray says:

    All talk and no action,
    It’s time we got some traction
    I know that you sighed,
    But until we decide,
    We will get no reaction.

  94. Steve Whitred says:

    Jim Donner devouring his bride
    When her brother burst in and he cried
    Said “I’m now calling dibs
    On the rest of these ribs
    This is one time I’m taking her side”

  95. Tim James says:

    “My new husband’s so big,” said the bride,
    “It was tiring to get him ‘inside.’
    After many a try,
    I stocked up on K-Y.
    It’s an issue I now can let slide.”

  96. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    For Steve Whitred: (just can’t help it…)

    Said the infamous C. Anna Ball
    (and with nary a soupcon of gall),
    “I feel deep inside
    this rumbling of pride
    for my shrinks and my lawyers, et al.”

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Changing Times: Social Distance

    I went to “La Posh Beauty Shoppe”
    I asked, “Can I get a nice crop?”
    The beautician replied
    “That sounds fine; go outside
    We shall then wash your hair with a mop”

  98. Adrian Turner says:

    I was bored, so went out for a ride
    Despite knowing we should stay inside
    The cops came from behind me
    They stopped me and fined me
    Oh well, it’s my own fault I sighed

  99. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    As for wearing a mask — wouldn’t do it!
    With my nose in the air, I’d eschew it.
    Now, alas, I endure
    homemade facial couture;
    but one challenge remains: breathing through it.

  100. Daisy Ward says:

    though he suddenly picked a side
    rules following he had to abide
    he changed his mind quick
    came up with a neat trick
    then stuck his chest out with great pride

  101. Daisy Ward says:

    Feeling challenges from being inside
    Keeping your distance is tried
    Stay six inches back
    You won’t be attack
    Follow the rules and float with the tide

  102. Tim Gray says:

    Is he up to the challenge?

    From the number of lies that abound,
    Trump’s sanity is quite unsound.
    Will he take the arduous trip
    To help him get a grip?
    A chorus of loud No’s resound.

  103. Tim Gray says:

    Dishonesty seems quite acceptable,
    And in Republican circles respectable,
    In which they take some pride
    Till the Democrat side
    Shows them all as not undetectable.

  104. Tim Gray says:

    I know what I did say
    But my advisors all said “No way!
    So, to save their pride,
    I’ll go with their side
    And not close the taskforce today.

  105. Adrian Turner says:

    Covid challenge

    We’ve all heard the president say,
    That he’ll send this virus away,
    But what can Trump teach,
    With injections of bleach?
    Let’s just do what the doctors say

  106. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Moaned a mugger while reading a graph,
    showing street crime diminished half:
    “Now that all my marks hide
    under masks when outside,
    if I say ‘stick ’em up!’ they just laugh.”

  107. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Moaned a mugger while reading a graph,
    showing street crime diminished by half:
    “Now that all my marks hide
    under masks when outside,
    if I say ‘stick ’em up!’ they just laugh.”

    by by now….

  108. Tim Gray says:

    I’m vegan, that can’t be denied,
    So I leave the meat to one side.
    Though they know this fact
    They’re lacking in tact
    And say, “You’ll like if you tried.”

  109. Tim Gray says:

    I know you don’t think it’s funny
    That nothing is better than money.
    I heard how you sighed
    At the number who’ve died…
    Achoo! Damn my nose is runny.

  110. Tim Gray says:

    Pick anyone else you can name
    For I’m not the one you should blame.
    On China’s side
    We know that Xi lied
    And no doubt he’ll lie again.

  111. Dave Johnson says:

    I have the most challenging chore;
    With chances for failure galore.
    And what, you might ask
    Is this arduous task?
    A trip to the grocery store.

  112. madkane says:

    The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.

  113. Steve Benko says:

    “This is heaven and surely I’ve died,”
    The Donald rolled over and sighed.
    “For Stormy, your glutes
    Are like luscious ripe fruits,
    And they’re sagging a bit on my bride.”

  114. Steve Benko says:

    All the stores being closed isn’t tough,
    For my girlfriend still opens her muff.
    The job byzantine
    Is to keep the couch clean
    As all day I hang out in the buff.

  115. MARK GREENBERG says:

    My Sherpa was tad bit wide
    He waddled trailways side to side
    He gave this advice
    Which I thought was nice
    “The way down the mountain’s to slide!”

  116. Lisi Nortman says:

    Stuck At Home

    It’s a challenge to stay home all day
    So my “shrink” said that “Now it’s okay
    To talk to your plants
    Even sing them some chants
    If they croon a hymn, call right away”

  117. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 444. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Peak.