Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEAD or AHEAD at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HEAD or AHEAD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GLASSES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GLASSES-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 15, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 14, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A fellow got mad — lost his head.
Told his girlfriend, “Get out of my bed.”
But it’s best not to vent
When you’re not paying rent.
He currently sleeps in a shed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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115 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEAD or AHEAD at the end of any one line”

  1. Dave Aton says:

    In an email from Mad I just read,
    For the seventh or eight time she said,
    “I’ve just given up hope.
    Will you ever join? Nope.”
    (Now she probably thinks I’ve lost my head!)

    *****
    From MBK: No you haven’t lost your head; you have “Opposite Head.” Thanks for your entry! :)

  2. David Reddekopp says:

    The government’s slow as molasses
    Perhaps it’s their eyes – they need glasses
    To rest on each head
    Which they then must instead
    Remove from inside of their asses.

  3. Kirk Miller says:

    My face shouldn’t ever be smacked.
    My friends and I made a nice pact
    To give noogies instead
    On the top of our head,
    Although it’s a knucklehead act.

  4. Kirk Miller says:

    The night had just waned and was gone.
    I opened my eyes with a yawn.
    Her nude butt lay in bed
    Really close to my head.
    I woke up at the crack of Dawn.

  5. Kirk Miller says:

    I was driving with Amy and Fred.
    As we crested a hilltop, he said,
    “Many critters get hit
    On this road up a bit.
    Watch for roadkill. They’ll be dead ahead.”

  6. Kirk Miller says:

    Man slipped, hit his head; it felt numb.
    A lawyer then quickly did come.
    “There’s a knot on your head.
    Sue the owner,” he said.
    Man settled and got a lump sum.

  7. Kirk Miller says:

    Discount sunglasses had an appeal.
    The sale price was so low ’twas a steal.
    And they looked really nice,
    So I thought that the price
    That I paid was just simply eye deal.

  8. Kirk Miller says:

    Got new glasses. The frames are real slick,
    But the lenses are really too thick.
    They make me feel queasy;
    Adjusting’s not easy.
    My new eyeglasses made me see-sick.

  9. Ken Gosse says:

    [Title] The Hollow’s Head Might Not be Dead ~
    The Grim Reaper just can’t get ahead;
    Needs a pate for each body that’s dead.
    In Sleepy, Ohio,
    He rode a caballo
    To catch one, but lost his instead.

  10. Ken Gosse says:

    Take Off Your Damned Glasses! ~
    Three-score-plus turned my eyes to molasses.
    Lost my cataracts, but still need glasses.
    Far away, I see fine–
    In encounters divine
    The get smeared by the hind parts of lasses.

  11. Ken Gosse says:

    NOTE: Inspired by Mad’s Facebook limerick about Trumps’ myopic vision. (Mad Kane’s Trumpian Perspective)
    Can’t See Past His Nose ~
    The weather’s been tough in the tropics,
    But TrumpVision’s blurred by myopics.
    His rose-colored glasses
    Can see only asses
    When women become headline topics.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    On the naturist beach, he loves staring
    At flesh that the ladies are baring.
    He even makes passes
    At girls who wear glasses,
    Provided that’s all that they’re wearing.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    King Henry is tearing his hair –
    A daughter! ’Tis greatly unfair.
    So it’s off with Anne’s head,
    And young Jane’s legs are spread …
    ’Tis a boy! Henry hath a fresh heir.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    The hurricane came to a head,
    Wrecked the island, and left many dead.
    Though they begged for supplies,
    To the whole world’s surprise,
    The Donald was golfing instead.

  15. Sharon Neeman says:

    My near-sighted, shy friend Bill Shear
    Solved both of his problems this year:
    He got three different glasses
    For meeting with lasses —
    Martini, Old-Fashioned and beer.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    The Donald’s idea of what ‘class’ is?
    He sneers at the credulous masses
    Of people he cheats,
    He insults them with tweets,
    And views them through shit-tinted glasses.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    “Hey, how stupid do folks think I am?
    All this hurricane talk is a sham.
    They tried to deceive me,
    But I know, believe me,
    It’s just a fake Democrat scam.”

  18. Sharon Neeman says:

    I went riding with Ed, Fred and Ned —
    Then along came our Cockney friend Ted.
    “Gorblimey!” he cried;
    “Bloody ‘ell! Wot a ride —
    Four ‘orses and only one ‘ead!”

  19. Sharon Neeman says:

    You could cut off the Orange Twit’s head —
    And no one would know he was dead:
    He’d just use his posterior
    For thoughts far superior
    And Tweet out his speeches instead.

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    Ooops! The previous limerick was off-topic; please ignore it.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    My sight is declining. I blame it
    On peering at screens; it’s a shame. It
    Won’t do, though, to shirk;
    I need glasses to work –
    Full of whisky, or wine, or … you name it!

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    The bimbo was bleaching her hair.
    The instructions, though, caused her to stare;
    On the label, she read:
    “For use on the head”,
    So she sat on the loo – but why there?

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    The head-hunter keeps by his bed,
    In a bottle, the President’s head.
    But he often complains
    That it’s empty of brains;
    “Should’ve gone for Obama’s instead.”

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the Donald, “I’m YUGE! It surpasses
    The cock of your dreams! It outclasses – ”
    The hooker said “Yes,
    But to find it, I guess
    That I’ll just have to put on my glasses.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    The Captain said “Full steam ahead!
    That iceberg is nothing to dread.
    A danger? Unthinkable!
    We are unsinkable –
    Well, that’s the claim that I’ve read.”

  26. Brian Allgar says:

    King Henry was wont to behead
    His unfortunate wives. “Well,” he said,
    “I was fond of them all,
    But they rapidly pall,
    And I need fresh delights in my bed.”

  27. Val Fish says:

    His grounds for failure were quite lame
    Craftily deflecting the blame
    She bored him in bed
    Never gave good head
    Hence the reason he never came

  28. Judith H. Block says:

    Wish we could say, “Off with his head!”
    Though not nice to wish anyone dead,
    With The Unqualified Despicable,
    A desire, explicable.
    Impeach the cruel bastard, instead.

  29. Judith H. Block says:

    Her guy loved that she gave him great head,
    Whether standing or lying in bed,
    She knew what was desired
    But she was so tired
    Wanted just to be cuddled, instead.

  30. Judith H. Block says:

    I wish you would wake up, use your head!
    Believe what you’ve seen, heard, and read!
    Racial justice, so needed,
    I hope you’ve conceded.
    Those in power have you hugely mislead.

  31. Judith H. Block says:

    He panicked, his glasses were gone,
    Not in the bedroom, the kitchen. or john.
    He was filled with great dread
    Were on top of his head.
    They fell down when he stretched with a yawn.

  32. Judith H. Block says:

    To Parker’s quote, with quite clever hook,
    This is the true rejection outlook:
    “Men seldom make passes
    At girls who wear glasses.”
    ‘Cause the gals see how bad these guys look.

  33. Marty Gerendasy says:

    ‘Twas a hot steamy night at Club Med
    As she lay all alone in her bed.
    She would somehow survive
    ‘Til her guy would arrive.
    Then they’d go at it full speed ahead!

  34. Marty Gerendasy says:

    “Hey, I can’t find my glasses!” he said.
    “Could it be they fell under the bed?”
    Then she gave him a look
    And said “don’t be a shnook.”
    “They’re still sitting on top of your head!”

  35. Tom Harris says:

    Well, yes, last night I was well fed
    And drank too much, ere going to bed.
    Tossing and turning,
    With desire burning
    I passed out; awoke with aching head.

  36. Val Fish says:

    Lay quivering in his bed
    Blanket pulled over his head
    ‘Whizz bang and pop,
    Please make them stop
    I’m waiting for walkies’ he said

  37. Ken Gosse says:

    Ad update from October 1, 2017 at 1:13 am: I added a second verse:

    NOTE: Inspired by Mad’s Facebook limerick about Trumps’ myopic vision. (Mad Kane’s Trumpian Perspective)
    Can’t See Past His Nose ~
    The weather’s been tough in the tropics,
    But TrumpVision’s blurred by myopics.
    His rose-colored glasses
    Can see only asses
    When women become headline topics.

    You noticed this when he met Merkel.
    His mind, put aside, flew a circle.
    He wouldn’t shake hands
    Because Trumping demands
    He grab pussy–he’s both Hyde and Jerkel.

  38. Steve Benko says:

    Being stopped by a trooper I dread
    When I’m driving my car getting head
    The prospect of prison
    Brings down what’s arisen
    What’s more, the girl’s not who I wed.

  39. Fred Bortz says:

    The rat was a pervert whose passes
    Made friends think he needed new glasses.
    He pursued the wrong genus
    And declared, “For my penis,
    There’s nothing as sweet as mole asses.”

  40. Fred Bortz says:

    They’d vote for me if I was shootin’
    On Broadway and Fifth, you’re darn tootin’.
    My brain could be dead,
    And I’d come out ahead
    Thanks to my good friend, Vlad Putin.

  41. Fred Bortz says:

    The rat was a pervert whose passes
    Made friends think he needed new glasses.
    He pursued the wrong genus–
    Declared, “For my penis,
    There’s nothing as sweet as mole asses.”

  42. Marty Gerendasy says:

    An oldie-but-goodie, resubmitted:

    When your cats and dogs jump on your bed
    And start doing a dance on your head,
    You may think that they’re playing
    But what they’re really saying
    Is “hey get up, we wanna be fed!”

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    The sexy young techie amasses
    Cool eye ware for company classes.
    When feeling a need
    For an amorous deed,
    She fondles her horny-rimmed glasses.

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    What a migraine in my head !!
    I can’t get out of bed
    My boyfriend Lee
    Walked out on me
    And said “Find another head”

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS I USED HEAD TWICE !!!!!

    What a migraine; I wish I were dead !!
    I can’t get out of bed
    My boyfriend Lee
    Walked out on me
    And said, “Find another head !!

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new trifocals are a shiny red
    So I put them on my head
    The curb looked quite easy
    And then I got queasy
    Now I’m officially dead

  47. Ryan Tilley says:

    Sunglasses at the Beach

    When you leave them on top of your head,
    You will wish you had left them instead
    And your spouse will agree
    As they wash out to sea
    That your smirk and your glasses are dead!

  48. Ryan Tilley says:

    Prescription Sunglasses at the Beach

    When you leave them on top of your head,
    You will wish you had left them instead
    And your spouse will agree
    As they wash out to sea
    That your fun and your glasses are dead!

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    I can’t seem to get ahead
    I take all my books into bed
    I bring my sixlets
    The are yummy like Chicklets
    But now all the words are covered in red

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    REVISION

    My new trifocals are a shiny red
    Excitedly I placed them on my head
    Was this curb really easy?
    I’m feeling quite queasy
    I think I’ll take the train instead

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    SYLLABLE CHANGE

    What a migraine; I wish I were dead!
    I can’t get out of our double bed
    My boyfriend Lee
    Walked out on me
    And said, “My Dear, find another head”

  52. Dave Johnson says:

    The madame quite proudly has said
    “My ladies were properly bred.
    Attentive and smart,
    They’re well versed in the art
    Of giving while getting ahead”.

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    I have a pounding in my head
    It’s a premonition of total dread
    Here it comes
    I hear the drums
    My husband bought a water bed

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    My sister has such a big head
    That when searching for a bed
    She had one made
    To fit a brigade
    Now she’s shopping for matching spread

  55. (This is out-of-competition, because I wrote it many, many years ago…)

    I notice, whenever he passes,
    His face is the same as his ass is.
    You can’t even tell
    Them apart by the smell,
    Though his face is the one that wears glasses.

  56. Val Fish says:

    Late for school, couldn’t get out of bed
    I’ve been summoned to see the head
    In a fait accompli
    No detention for me
    Sir’s been given the sack instead

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    DATING AD

    I answered an ad from a guy named Fred
    He sounded so nice, and very well-bred
    He’s a real “go getter”
    (What could be better?)
    This man really wants to get ahead

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    Jim’s invention for a balding head
    Was a toupee one puts on with a sticky spread
    He sold 25
    We took quite a dive
    One might say we are in the red

  59. Kay Davies says:

    As a child I was made to wear glasses
    To school and to all of my classes
    The boys were so rude
    I then thought them crude
    But today I would say they were asses

    Their words would play games with my head
    I’d cringe at the taunts that were said
    Until I would learn
    Their rude words to spurn—
    To be kind to my own self instead

  60. Val Fish says:

    The missus rumbled our affair
    When she came across a blonde hair
    In the marital bed
    (The wife’s a red head)
    Now it’s curtains for the au pair

  61. The French executioner said,
    As he mopped up a puddle of red:
    “Madame Guillotine
    May be wicked and mean,
    But she really knows how to give head!”

  62. Dave Johnson says:

    Down the mountain a snow boarder sped;
    With recklessness skiers would dread.
    On a sharp turn he learned
    That gravity spurned
    Can re-route the course dead ahead.

  63. KATHLEEN BARTOLETTI says:

    From the bunk room where I lay a-bed
    Through our sub I raced up to the Head:
    Threw the door, ‘s if on cue
    I threw up in the loo:
    Made a mess of the mess I was fed.

  64. “Be nice now, and I’ll give you some head.”
    At least, that’s what I thought she had said.
    I climbed into bed
    But, dammit, instead,
    She brought out a big platter of bread.

  65. Dave Johnson says:

    Mad – on my posting above, I’d like line 5 to read:
    “Can re-route the course dead ahead.”

    Thanks, DJ

    *****

    From MBK: Done.

  66. Lisi Nortman says:

    CATHOLIC UPBRINGING

    I felt a push of a little head
    I stood on the altar; a feeling of dread
    The priest arrived
    I guess I survived
    He hurried and said, “You two are now wed”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    Linda Blair could turn her head
    Completely around, while lying in bed
    Then came the goop
    (It was really pea soup)
    If this is acting, we were all misled

  68. Dave Johnson says:

    The congressman straightened his glasses;
    Co-sponsored a bill that now passes.
    “Pro-lifer!” he bleats
    ‘Though not ‘tween his sheets;
    Defines what a hypocrite ass is…

  69. Tim James says:

    A fellow once said with a frown:
    “Wearing specs makes me look like a clown;
    Besides, you can tell
    I see perfectly well…”
    …And walked into a door, and fell down.

  70. KATHLEEN BARTOLETTI says:

    Marilyn Monroe could get passes
    Wearing or not wearing her glasses;
    Playboys cared not a trifle
    For she proved a real eyeful
    As one of Hef’s mem’rable lasses.

  71. Val Fish says:

    My anger I tried to supress
    But he knew which buttons to press
    I finally saw red
    With one whack on the head
    He got his comeuppance, I guess

  72. As nice as things tend to appear
    Through rose-colored glasses, I fear
    That it’s time to dispose
    Of those glasses of rose,
    And replace them with glasses of BEER.

  73. Randy Wagner says:

    An heiress flirtatiously said,
    “All philanthropy starts in one’s bed.”
    When she found a poor knave,
    She indulgently gave
    Him the shirt off her back and great head.

  74. stephen whitred says:

    When I was a kid I wore glasses
    Like Cronkite and Jackie Onassis
    And we fought the good fight
    For what clearly was right
    Unequivoc’lly now there’s morasses

  75. Fred Bortz says:

    A Note to the Judge

    Dear Madeleine Kane, You should dread
    If my limerick’s not at the head.
    Prepare for the worst
    If my poem’s not first.
    Your friendly extortionist, Fred.

  76. Mike Moulton says:

    In a bar once while using the head
    Some words on the wall rightly said,
    “I’m not to blame
    For spoiling your aim,
    If you’ve peed on your foot while you read.”

  77. Jane Hoffman says:

    To lose weight buy one lettuce head
    And with it eat one slice of bread.
    That’s it for the day.
    You’ll love what you weigh,
    But you’ll never again feel well-fed!

  78. (Glasses? Well, a glass, anyway…)

    Oh, pity the fellow I chronicle,
    Whose cock is disturbingly conical —
    An appearance he tries
    Very hard to disguise
    With a tiny top-hat and a monocle.

  79. Dave Johnson says:

    He went to the doctor with dread;
    “There’s a tingling on top of my head.”
    “Well, let’s have a look…”
    In unveiling, it took
    Not a hat, but his boxers instead.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    I decided to get back with Fred
    He is very cute and good in bed
    I got all dolled up
    Saw him hugging Buttercup
    That will teach me not to plan ahead

  81. I’m fed up with Hollywood lasses
    Who are “plain” ’til they take off their glasses;
    Put that in your script,
    And you ought to be shipped
    To remedial screenwriting classes.

  82. Dave Johnson says:

    With Lasik, I wanted to boast
    Great vision – much better than most.
    It was that way indeed;
    But now I’ve a need
    For readers when writing this post.

  83. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    There was an old man in a tree
    Whose eyeball got stung by a bee
    He fell on his head
    By the time he was dead
    His wife drank his tea with the bee

  84. Dave Johnson says:

    With Halloween hair on his head,
    Our onion-skinned “leader” has said
    He’s much smarter than Rex.
    Bob Corker suspects
    His daycare provider has fled.

  85. Dave Johnson says:

    Fox News – where they sit on their asses
    And blather voluminous gasses.
    Each morning they’ll drool
    Over Donald Trump’s rule
    With a pile that would steam up your glasses.

  86. Jesse Levy says:

    If you’d like to just get ahead,
    Please talk with this fellow – Ted.
    He’s robbed several banks
    But always says, “Thanks!”
    Instead of filling folks with lead.

  87. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The doctor said, “What a fat head!
    But the brain does appear to be dead
    As I wait for a yelp
    From the cat on his scalp
    The poor critter needs help to get fed!”

  88. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Bring your spectacles, testicles, wallet
    And your watch, plus your whatchamacallit
    Before leaving the house
    Don’t forget – kiss your spouse
    Or your supper’s a mouse! (she’ll first maul it)

  89. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Do you suffer night terrors in bed?
    And believe something’s wrong in your head?
    Here’s a cure – sex and booze
    And don’t stop! The good news –
    You will probably snooze or drop dead.

  90. Suzanne Heymann says:

    When the two kissing nerds’ lips got soggy
    It had steamed up their glasses – so foggy!
    Their passion, freewheeling,
    Did float to the ceiling,
    Then both woke up, feeling quite groggy.

  91. Lisi Nortman says:

    I heard a voice in my head
    My guardian angel said
    “You have another wrinkle
    And all night you tinkle
    But, my dear you still are not dead”

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    What if God made our head
    So that we all could only see red
    Everyone’s hair
    Would have that certain glare
    And by now we would all be dead

  93. Lisi Nortman says:

    I used 2 cups of molasses
    To make “steak a la Onassis”
    The recipe said
    Never use brown bread
    I should have been wearing my glasses

  94. Tim James says:

    A powerful media head
    Uttered “Rosebud” before dropping dead.
    So for hours on screen
    They ask, “What did that mean?”
    Here’s a spoiler alert: it’s a sled.

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    SENIOR CITIZEN’S DILEMMAS

    A little angel sat on my head
    And said, “Don’t worry, Dear, you’re not dead !
    But when you open your eyes
    You’ll see a surprise:
    You have tinkled in your bed”

  96. Dave Johnson says:

    Four glasses of water, they say,
    To round out your diet each day.
    That suggestion is smart;
    I’ll take the first part
    And go with a nice Cabernet.

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    SENIOR CITIZEN DILEMMA:REVISION

    A little angel sat on my head
    She told me that I wasn’t dead
    “But when you open your eyes,
    You’ll have a surprise
    Because you tinkled in your bed”

  98. Mark Kane says:

    She had gotten ahead ‘Giving Head,’
    But her future has changed it’s been said;
    With gals taking over,
    She’s now out of clover.
    No more play, only work, which she’ll dread.

  99. Mark Kane says:

    So far he’s stayed one step ahead
    Of women determined to wed.
    He knows this is wrong,
    But he strings them along,
    Because he enjoys them in bed.

  100. Dave Johnson says:

    Trump’s immigrant spouses both claim
    “First Lady” as part of their name.
    “SO TRUE!” reads the thread
    From our man-baby head;
    “And Marla could jump in the game.”

  101. Brian Allgar says:

    (Yes, yet another variant on Ann Boleyn and Henry VIII)

    “My Henry’s so shy”, the Queen said.
    “He just sent two men in his stead
    To measure the size
    Of my neck. I surmise
    That he’s hoping I’ll give him good head.”

  102. Tim James says:

    A brewer’s wife, hastily wed,
    Came to dread joyless hops into bed.
    And so she went down
    On each fellow in town.
    And that’s how things came to a head.

  103. Mark Kane says:

    For his wife he had planned far ahead;
    They’d enjoy themselves naked in bed.
    All eight kids are away,
    So it’s time for their play,
    But exhausted they nod off instead.

  104. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    There once was a mullah named Hed,
    Who wished he been Jewish instead.
    He got recircumcised,
    Grew a beard to his thighs
    And spooned with the Torah in bed.

  105. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    Said Marie Antoinette at her wedding,
    Let’s slip out dear and get to the bedding.
    I’ll give you some head,
    And I’d love to get spread,
    Plus, my maidenhead needs a beheading.

  106. Bruce Niedt says:

    Guys never make serious passes
    (goes the saying) at girls who wear glasses.
    Said one spectacled cutie,
    “They can’t see my beauty –
    their heads are all up their asses!”

  107. Bruce Niedt says:

    Our chemistry prof often passes
    such wind that it fogs up our glasses.
    Said the flatulent guy,
    when when all asked him why:
    “We are studying ignoble gases!”

  108. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over.

    And the winner is… Limerick-Off Award 283.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the GLASSES-Themed Limerick Winner, the Limerick Repartee Award Winners, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Tank.

  109. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I can’t believe I forgot to post on the blog (besides the facebook page), so I hope you don’t mind that I post mine posthumously, just for the record…

    The doctor said, “What a fat head!
    But the brain does appear to be dead
    As I wait for a yelp
    From the cat on his scalp
    The poor criitter needs help to get fed!”

  110. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Bring your spectacles, testicles, wallet
    And your watch, plus your whatchamacallit
    Before leaving the house
    Don’t forget – kiss your spouse
    Or your supper’s a mouse (she’ll first maul it).

  111. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Do you suffer night terrors in bed?
    And believe something’s wrong in your head?
    Here’s a cure – sex and booze
    And don’t stop! The good news?
    You will probably snooze or drop dead.

  112. Suzanne Heymann says:

    When the two kissing nerds’ lips got soggy
    It had steamed up their glasses – so foggy!
    Their passion, freewheeling.
    Did float to the ceiling,
    And both woke up feeling quite groggy.

  113. Suzanne Heymann says:

    You look sexy with glasses in place
    I’m just dying to kiss a-you face!
    A smart head on that neck
    Makes me melt all to heck
    It’s a sapiosexual case!

  114. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Oh, you know I just love getting head
    I swallow and drink it in bed
    On beer that I’m drinking
    In glasses we’re clinking
    Why, what were you thinking instead?

  115. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Dark sunglasses are worn by a star
    So that nobody knows who they are
    But when someone finds out
    Who they are, then they pout
    And take off in, no doubt, a fast car.

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