Limerick Taste (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow with terrible taste…*


A woman had asked for a taste…*


The comic showed very poor taste…*


This meal has a terrible taste…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Taste
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow has terrible taste.
His pride in his place is misplaced.
It’s showy and lewd,
And his dates find it crude,
So the women he chases stay chaste.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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68 Responses to “Limerick Taste (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Jon Gearhart says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Didn’t think when approaching in haste
    A cannibal group.
    They plopped him in their soup
    Saying, “Though you taste bad, we shant waste!”

  2. Jon Gearhart says:

    The young suitor was ranked for his taste
    By the King. His young daughter he placed
    Out beside a small yew
    And a Wandering Jew.
    Round and round the small bush she was chaste.

  3. P Diane Schneider says:

    The meal had a terrible taste
    Considering that it was based
    On rare things exotic
    And morsels biotic
    A shame that it all went to waste

  4. Fred Bortz says:

    A limerick in the worst taste
    Is a terrible poem to waste,
    And no one is fonder
    Of double entendre
    Than I, so I’ll share it in haste.

    I am hoping that I will be graced
    And my brilliance will firmly be placed
    In Lim’rick-Off annals
    By Kane’s judging panels,
    As the one on which others are based.

    For its rhythm is perfectly paced.
    With puns it is brilliantly laced.
    But alas, it’s too late!
    My unhappy fate
    Is you’ve heard it. I see you’re red-faced.

  5. Jon Gearhart says:

    A comic showed terrible taste
    Making bad racist jokes. In his haste,
    He did not stop to think
    How his harsh words could sink
    His career deep in excreted waste.

  6. John Sardo says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Mixed some scotch with tomato paste.
    It tasted just awful
    And should be unlawful.
    But who cares when everyone’s spaced.

  7. John Sardo says:

    A woman had asked for a taste
    Of punch with brandy sweet laced.
    Soon her eyes they would shine
    For lost love she would pine.
    Till at last she was wildly shit faced.

  8. John Sardo says:

    This meal has a terrible taste
    Mixing gin and tomato paste
    It’s indeed a rare sauce
    To the eyes brings a gloss.
    But at dinner the guests all embraced.

  9. John Sardo says:

    The comic showed very poor taste
    To guests who his table they graced.
    He served them some wine
    In a five gallon stein
    Of the night were all memories erased.

  10. Fred Bortz says:

    A limerick in the worst taste
    Is a terrible poem to waste,
    And no one is fonder
    Of double entendre
    Than I, so I’ll share it in haste.

    I am hoping that I will be graced
    And my brilliance will firmly be placed
    In Lim’rick-Off annals
    By Kane’s judging panels:
    The one on which others are based.

    For its rhythm is perfectly paced.
    With puns it is brilliantly laced.
    But alas, it’s too late!
    My unhappy fate
    Is you’ve heard it. I see you’re red-faced.

  11. Fred Bortz says:

    My second version has one extra syllable removed. Now it’s brilliance is unsullied! :)

  12. Fred Bortz says:

    A published limerick with “taste” in the B-rhyme as the lead of a book review.

    Earth Moved

  13. The meal had a rather odd taste,
    Rather like marzipan paste.
    It lead to the demise
    Of a number of guys
    Whose affections were badly misplaced.

  14. Sancho Panza says:

    A girl who developed a taste
    To be friendly rather than chaste
    Was a romp in the bed
    But it went to her head
    And then it went to her waist.

  15. Linkmeister says:

    The meal had a terrible taste
    Thus ensuring it would go to waste
    It’s a pity, said the cook
    But I must follow the book
    And throw it all out posthaste

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    The drink had a curious taste;
    Had her Vodka Martini been laced?
    But she drank all the same –
    It would be a great shame
    If the spirit’s expense went to waste.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    His girl had “gone down” for a taste,
    But the speedboat blew up as he raced.
    She was found near the boat
    With his dick in her throat,
    But the rest of him couldn’t be traced.

  18. Jon Gearhart says:

    In the past, Ann displayed champagne’s taste,
    But her budget is now lower paced.
    Her old sugar daddy
    Got caught by wife Maddie*
    Who cut off his funds and posthaste!

    *No relation to our hostess! :-)

  19. Jon Gearhart says:

    The recipe’s terrible taste
    Was in need of a change, and posthaste.
    I found that the dish
    Had the taste of bad fish,
    So I found a good fish and re-plaiced!

  20. Jon Gearhart says:

    There’s just no accounting for taste
    On a planet where life’s carbon-based.
    CO2 by design
    Brings mosquitoes to dine.
    Larger folks give off more, so we’re chased!

  21. yt cai says:

    This turkey has quite an odd taste
    Did you forget by chance to baste?
    It is not that its dry
    But when given a try
    Ben stuck in my throat since we graced

  22. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had asked for a taste
    Of cake filled with rich almond paste.
    But without self-control
    Sugar would take its toll
    She had better leave there posthaste.

  23. Jon Gearhart says:

    George Boole had developed a taste
    So the love of his life often graced
    His meals making dishes
    With mathematical fishes–
    Her soups were all Boolean-based!

  24. Jon Gearhart says:

    My wife’s cooking’s distinctive in taste.
    It sticks in your throat, unreplaced.
    Showing how well it can
    Also stick to a pan,
    It leads sales as industrial paste!!

  25. gary hallock says:

    The meal had a terrible taste
    So the customer had it replaced
    “This dry ballpark frank you
    Cooked too long, no thank you!
    Start over again, and first baste”

  26. John Armstrong says:

    A woman had asked for a taste
    Of what I had below my waist
    I did not want to disappoint
    Or get her nose out of joint
    For that was what she faced

  27. Val Fish says:

    The comics had very poor taste,
    Their prank, deemed by all, a disgrace,
    They showed little remorse,
    For their comments so coarse,
    Ill-judged and extremely misplaced.

  28. Val Fish says:

    The comic had very poor taste,
    His audience, very strait-laced,
    His act was so rude,
    They jeered and they booed,
    He ended up flat on his face.

  29. Chris O'Carroll says:

    She woke up with a terrible taste
    In her mouth and her corset unlaced.
    When a voice in her ear
    Purred, “Madeira, my dear,”
    She knew she’d been unchastely embraced.

  30. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had asked for a taste
    Of life that was free and unchaste.
    Really hot and fast guys;
    Who gave sexual highs!
    She laughed- “What a sweet aftertaste!”

  31. scott says:

    A woman had asked for a taste
    of whiskey, I thought in my haste
    though here is the kicker
    she wanted hard licker
    and both of us ended up “faced”

  32. A woman had asked for a taste,
    Though swearing that she was quite chaste,
    After one or two
    Of the local pub’s brew,
    Her apparel came quickly unlaced.

    A woman had asked for a taste,
    Her fellow quickly felt graced.
    His jewels she would treasure
    And give him great pleasure,
    But ’twas only his cash she embraced

    A woman had asked for a taste,
    Gave her man a stern looking face,
    He lifted his glass,
    Afraid of his lass,
    Then spilling it on her in haste.

  33. Brian Allgar says:

    Young Rubens was longing to taste
    The delights of his model; in haste
    To explore her positions,
    “What wonderful Titians!”
    He cried, as her bust he unlaced.

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    She hated the texture and taste,
    But his cravings just had to be faced.
    He was built like Apollo,
    And begged her to swallow
    His grandmother’s anchovy paste.

  35. Brian Allgar says:

    She was dressed in impeccable taste
    From her diadem down to the waist,
    But the Queen – do I dare
    Say the rest was quite bare? –
    Had forgotten her skirt in her haste.

  36. Brian Allgar says:

    His jokes had a rather stale taste:
    “Did you hear how the Prince was dis-Graced?…”
    But the audience groaned
    And the comic was stoned,
    Which reduced him to old chestnut paste.

  37. Brian Allgar says:

    The King found it more to his taste
    That his wives have their noggins displaced,
    So when Anne Boleyn said
    “May I offer thee head?”,
    Henry grinned, and assured her “Thou may’st.”

  38. Jon Gearhart says:

    The odor was thick and the taste
    It evoked was like green, noxious waste
    I imagined effusing from
    Some toxic oozing drum.
    This death cloud to you has been traced.

  39. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Was ga-ga with joy when he faced
    Two gals in a stirrup
    Clad in chocolate syrup
    (I’m sorry, this line got erased.)

  40. Mark Kane says:

    The Mafia comes for its “Taste”
    Wherever your business is based.
    Just treat it like dues
    Which you can not refuse,
    Or in haste they will render it waste.

  41. Mark Kane says:

    I leaned in and stole a quick taste.
    She matched it with motions unchaste.
    With ardent affection,
    Forgetting protection,
    Our haste would soon fill out her waist.

  42. Tim James says:

    A Harley fan had a strong taste
    For driving his hog with great haste.
    Then his girlfriend fell off.
    Is he Ruthless? I scoff!
    That’s a cheap, shabby pun. (He’s dis-Graced.)

  43. John Peter Larkin says:

    The comic showed very poor taste,
    said the gal in the front was unchaste.
    But he didn’t foresee.
    The gal’s significant he
    made sure from the stage he was chased.

  44. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Found a virgin that he soon embraced.
    She slipped loose and ran
    And all that I can
    Do is to leave you this pun: She’s still chased.

  45. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Met a girl who was much too strait-laced
    So in several dark places
    He undid all her laces
    Then he undid himself too poste-haste.

  46. Valerie says:

    The comic showed very poor taste,
    When his turkey he forgot to baste.
    The stuffing was dry and did crumble.
    Several guests started to grumble;

    “Feed us jokes, post haste,
    Or we’ll lay this party to waste.”
    The comic, ever so humble,
    Didn’t stutter or mumble.
    “You can all be replaced.”

  47. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Thought the world by his presence was graced
    But he didn’t get far
    At the new singles bar
    So he sits in his room single-spaced.

  48. Kirk Miller says:

    This lim’rick exudes such bad taste.
    The verse is quite clean. What a waste!
    Though this poem is clean
    And its words aren’t obscene,
    It certainly shows I’m debased.

  49. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal with regrettable taste
    Escaped from a stalker with haste.
    It appears that his urgin’s
    Were directed toward virgins.
    She was chased just because she was chaste.

  50. Allen Wilcox says:

    A limericist had good taste
    With lines and syllables aced
    . His rhyming was fine
    And his meter, divine
    But he feft punctuation. misplaced

  51. Jon Gearhart says:

    In your mouth it has left a bad taste,
    The night a strange man you embraced,
    Your tongue, used to titillate.
    Strong drink can’t obliterate
    The memory, but still you’re effaced.

  52. My limericks are written in haste.
    You say they are lacking in taste?
    If a limerick’s too nice
    And lacking in spice,
    Then reading it’s really a waste.

  53. Bill Klein says:

    I’m first to admit I’ve poor taste
    As an asthete, I’m quite the disgrace
    Be it Elvis on velvet
    Or a cheap Cheesehead helmet
    You’ll find that and more at my place

    Dogs playing at cards? Sure, I got ’em
    My nude paintings? Straight outta Sodom!
    I find them a delight
    But my guests cower in fright
    My artistic sense rates near the bottom

    But to heck with the standards of taste!
    For to dwell on such things seems a waste
    So please cease your complaining
    Of my brand-new clown painting
    It’ll look great above the fireplace.

  54. Jon Gearhart says:

    So now I have shown that my taste
    Can run to the filth or the chaste.
    Days past I denied it.
    No longer I’ll hide it.
    The dark side of humor’s embraced.

  55. Jim Delaney says:

    Impresarios live by their taste,
    Which, if doubtful, can see them disgraced.
    A lady conductor
    Complained that he’d assaulted her;
    There’s music will have to be faced.

  56. Susan says:

    As a school girl, I sought out the taste
    in that sweet little jar of white paste.
    Then I caught my first scent
    Of some rubber cement
    And all thoughts of that paste were erased.

  57. Susan says:

    That handsomely dressed chap’s to my taste;
    There’s respect with some bad interlaced.
    See the set of his chin
    And his shit eating grin?
    I shall make his acquaintance with haste

  58. Tim James says:

    The meal had a savory taste
    And the cooking-show judges embraced
    And enjoyed ev’ry course
    With no clue it was horse.
    Did it win? It did not, but it placed.

  59. Nervous Norvis has excellent taste
    In coffee at his little place
    Norvis’ caffeinated café
    Will blow you away
    Like a rocket heading for space

  60. Allen Wilcox says:

    She loved everything that she’d taste,
    Which led to a challenge she faced.
    “The more that I ate,
    The more I gained weight.
    I’m afraid what I eat goes to waist.”

  61. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow with terrible taste
    Like to eat his hamburger encased
    With both onions and cheese
    Yesterday’s old Chinese
    Mustard, mayo and anchovy paste.

  62. Fred Bortz says:

    That Congressman left a bad taste
    Of obstruction, corruption, and waste.
    “So he lost?” You’re mistaken.
    ‘Cause he brought home the bacon,
    He beat each opponent he faced.

  63. Mark Kane says:

    She starts with “May I have a taste?”
    As if I am done, and she’s chaste.
    But before I reply
    She devours MY pie.
    And end with “That’s too good to waste!”

  64. Edmund Conti says:

    A man of impeccable taste
    Like his letters all evenly spaced.
    A recalcitrant “i”
    Brought a tear to his eye.
    (Ooh, eye-rhymes and I am disgraced.)

  65. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow too poor for his taste,
    Bought a ring from a woman disgraced.
    She was married to Madoff,
    But swore it was paid off.
    He’s now stuck with her jewelry paste.

  66. Tom Hale says:

    The FOX “news” team has such bad taste
    That even when bacon encased,
    Is so far from okay
    Even cannibals say,
    “Away I would much rather waste.”

  67. Edmund Conti says:

    You’re finding you’re using poor taste
    In composing these lim’riks post-hate.
    Don’t get angry, get Mad
    She’ll critique just a tad
    And adjust a syl-LA_ble misplaced.

  68. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 178

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Nest.