Limerick Scrap (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow got into a scrap…*

or

A woman decided to scrap…*

or

A merchant who bought and sold scrap…*

or

I was writing some verse on a scrap…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Scrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow decided to scrap
His plans to develop an app
That would help him make beer.
He’d been told with a jeer:
“That app is already on tap.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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45 Responses to “Limerick Scrap (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Brian Allgar says:

    A fellow got into a scrap;
    He was having an afternoon nap
    When the rapper next door
    Started shaking the floor,
    And he ended up beating the Rap.

  2. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Here’s a long ago pun, just a scrap:
    You wish water to draw from the tap
    Which is stuck—do not faucet!
    I know, yeah, of course it
    Is weak, but still feel free to clap!

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    Regretfully, Bush had to scrap
    His idea for the next place to zap:
    “I’ve a humdinger plan
    For invading Iran,
    But I cain’t find the place on a map.”

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    I admit that my poem’s a scrap
    [Missing line till I fill in the gap] -
    It’s unfinished and loose,
    [Missing words] no more use
    Than the sound of a one-handed clap

  5. kaykuala says:

    A woman decided to scrap
    Agreement she had with a lad
    Amazingly she forgot
    Had ‘fleeced’ him a lot
    No more expected from the chap

    Hank

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Though the dancer was just a mere scrap,
    She knew how to grind on my lap.
    I gave her a nickel
    And hoped for a tickle,
    But all that I got was a slap.

  7. A fellow got into a scrap
    When found with a girl in his lap,
    His wife wasn’t impressed
    That the girl was undressed
    And gave the old bastard a slap.

    A fellow got into a scrap
    When found with a girl in his lap,
    His wife hit him again
    When he tried to explain
    The girl was just having a nap.

    A fellow got into a scrap
    When found with a girl in his lap,
    “She was at a loose end
    And she needed a friend
    So I am just filling the gap.”

    A fellow got into a scrap
    When found with a girl in his lap,
    His wife shot him quite dead
    With a round to the head,
    Saying “Nah, your story’s just crap!”

  8. I hope he’s not drowning his sorrows.

  9. yt cai says:

    An ex-girlfriend was looking to scrap
    A cock ring that she gave to her chap
    Down at the pawn shop
    They saw some jaws drop
    When trying to pry it from his lap

  10. yt cai says:

    At the strip club there was a big scrap
    Getting down to some co-worker flap
    It turned out at this joint
    Became central to point
    When two dancers fell into his lap

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    I was writing some verse on a scrap
    Of green paper I had on my lap.
    I got up and lost it.
    The cleaning man tossed it.
    My great idea is gone- can’t re-cap.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow got into a scrap
    There was a cute girl on his lap.
    His wife wanted a divorce
    And loads of money of course
    It’s just an attempt to entrap.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    A merchant who bought and sold scrap
    Was surprised to be asked by a chap
    “How much for these jaws,
    My late mother-in-law’s,
    That used to go yackety-yap?”

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    A boxer who lost his last scrap
    Was laid out to rest in the chap-
    el. Imagine the shocks
    As he climbed from the box
    Saying “Just took a dive and a nap.”

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    A fellow got into a scrap
    In a night-club, well-known as a trap.
    As he fought off the whores
    He said “Please, no applause,
    For I know that you’ve all come to clap.”

  16. Jon Gearhart says:

    There come times when some rhymes I must scrap
    ‘Cause those rhymes reach the one forty cap
    When composing for Twitter
    While I tweet on the s

  17. P Diane Schneider says:

    I was writing some verse on a scrap
    An attempt to impress my old pap
    But it fell on deaf ears
    I was tossed on my rear
    I fault the generation gap

  18. Jon, that’s brilliant. I don’t even have to count the characters… Bravo!

  19. John Sardo says:

    A woman decided to scrap
    A guy she couldn’t entrap
    She grabbed up her rings
    Among other things
    While the guy took an afternoon nap.

  20. John Sardo says:

    A fellow got into a scrap
    With a gal who gave him a slap.
    She hit his shocked face
    Then sprayed him with mace.
    When he graced her backside tap, tap, tap.

  21. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A crabber got into a scrap
    with a mermaid who gave him a slap.
    ’Twas his rude repartee
    after setting her free.
    He should never have opened his trap.

  22. Fred Bortz says:


    At first I decided to scrap
    This entry as nothing but crap.
    But please do not scoff:
    For this Limerick-Off,
    Dogg’rel verse can look better post-nap.

    (I’m back having met a deadline, but clearly in need of some limerick practice.)

  23. Fred Bortz says:

    With creationists, I had a scrap.
    I said they were caught in a trap.
    They need some reminding,
    With every new finding,
    There’s less of their God-of-the-gap.

  24. Fred Bortz says:

    Alas, all I found was a scrap
    Of the buccaneer’s lost treasure map.
    I could follow each clue
    A-B-C down through U,
    But without X, it wasn’t worth crap.

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    A fellow got into a scrap
    When undoing the bimbo’s bra-strap.
    As he tugged the elastic,
    He punctured the plastic,
    Deflating the doll on his lap.

  26. yt cai says:

    Two shoppers got into a scrap
    On the last bra down at the GAP
    It was a sale tug-o-war
    Like no other before
    Cup winner went off in a snap

  27. Val Fish says:

    An MP got into a scrap
    Persuaded his wife to take the rap
    To save him she lied
    Both ended up inside
    The price they paid for a speeding trap

  28. Fred Bortz says:

    The S and M master used scrap–
    Tarnished iron–as his captive’s bra strap.
    She was dubbed Lusty Rusty,
    That statuesque, busty
    Young slave who makes love in a trap.

  29. HIKER’S LAMENT

    Time was, I could tear off a scrap
    From the unwanted end of my map.
    Sure, my GPS screen
    May be fast and conven-
    ient… but not after taking a crap.

  30. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A merchant who bought and sold scrap
    read the song I had written to rap.
    “If you want my two cents,
    and I mean no offense,
    you should sell it to me cuz it’s crap.”

  31. A boxer, preparing to scrap,
    Ignored his opponent’s, “Old chap?
    “Just before we start punchin’
    “Would ya let my late luncheon
    “Go down?” It came up in his lap. :( 

  32. MAYBE IT WAS A BLACK HOLE?

    For a month now, they’ve search for a scrap
    Of the wreckage, all over the map.
    But the Media’s cred
    Is still lost, presumed dead
    In the Great Credibility Gap.

  33. Tim James says:

    My car was reduced to mere scrap;
    I was hit from behind by a chap
    Who’d had too much to drink.
    Consequently, I think
    He’ll spend time in the pokey, the sap.

  34. Jon Gearhart says:

    A big thank you to Will for the scrap
    Of high praise he let loose from his yap
    How my spirits were lifted
    To have HE who’s so gifted
    Like my writing–It’s usually crap!

  35. My departed first wife loved to scrap,
    And bought papers (like post-its and wrap)
    Perhaps in excess. 
    New wife would’ve liked less;
    She refers to the bounty as crap. 

    [True story.]

  36. colonialist says:

    A woman decided to scrap
    A very-much-outdated chap –
    His manners were courtly
    But he grew quite portly
    And too much inclined for a nap.

    A fellow got into a scrap
    Of trouble when shooting at crap:
    He just would exclaim
    The name of the game,
    Too loudly when he’d had a drap.

  37. Tim James says:

    On Fridays he’d frequently scrap
    All his scruples, and not give a crap.
    First a keg of good brew
    Followed up with a screw:
    An end-of-the-week double tap.

  38. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow who bought and sold scrap
    Had all sorts of trinkets and crap
    From bins he would plunder
    Grandmothers “Goes under”
    Her teeth and a broken mouse trap.

    “Goes under to us is an old chamber pot which “goes under” the bed. Don’t know if the term is widely used elsewhere.

  39. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman decided to scrap
    Her hubby for some younger chap
    She said “I’m appalled
    That you have gone bald
    And you have nothing under your cap”.

  40. P Diane Schneider says:

    I was writing some verse on a scrap
    A virus had frozen my app
    But try as I may
    I just have to say
    My limerick turned out to be pap

  41. Charley Simmons says:

    The singer got into a scrap
    When a heckler called her song crap
    She was sick up and fed
    Bounced a mike off his head
    And dumped a cold beer in his lap

  42. Mark Kane says:

    A woman got into a scrap
    With her guy and it earned her a slap!
    You must please bear in mind,
    She’s in love but not blind.
    Hence her haste to unwrap her old chap.

  43. Mark Kane says:

    With strippers there’s always a scrap
    As they troll for the same sort of sap.
    One with bucks for unwinding,
    who’ll pay for some grinding,
    And is lured by the bare booby trap.

  44. Cphenly says:

    I had an unfortunate scrap
    With a cereal bowl and a map.
    O’er my ma’s old home town
    Flew the bowl upside down;
    Now Poughkeepsie goes pop crackle snap.

  45. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 160 .

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Strained Limerick.