Limerick of the Week (100)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A man who’d been recently canned
Was steamed to be dealt a bad hand.
After stewing inside,
He went out & got fried,
And ended up pickled as planned.

Congratulations to Steve Whitred who wins the Special Super Bowl-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

The Super Bowl’s finally here.
Seems the hype has been building all year.
And while some think the game
Is exceedingly lame,
They’ll use any excuse to drink beer.

Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A man who was recently canned
Had squeezed a gal’s mammary gland.
He’d tried to insist
That he had just missed.
“I thought I was shaking her hand.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jim Gallagher, Johanna Richmond, Elaine Spall, Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Steve Whitred, Bruce Niedt, Sue Dulley, and Diane Groothuis. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jim Gallagher:

My cat cannot bear food that’s canned,
Out of season, unseasoned or bland.
She won’t have a nibble
Or soupçon of kibble.
But gophers are gruesomely grand.

Johanna Richmond:

A senior home worker was canned
For thoughtfully lending a hand
To the ladies — their files
He kept in two piles:
“Still stressed” and “sufficiently manned.”

Elaine Spall:

Chef Ramsay, when served something canned
In a rest’rant he once thought was grand,
Showed his utter disdain
Using words quite profane.
Both the language and food should be banned.

Edmund Conti:

A fellow was recently canned
For being too high paid a hand.
And as he was fired,
A new man was hired.
And that’s how a Walmart is manned.

Jamie Hutchinson:

A limericker recently canned
As a stock clerk had one last demand:
She said she would need her
Handheld barcode reader
To ensure that her poetry scanned.

Steve Whitred:

To paraphrase Donald, “You’re canned!”
Pointing finger, mock pistol in hand.
It’s no TV show lout
That he’s talking about,
But his face in the mirror all tanned.

Bruce Niedt:

Says Charlie, who’s recently canned,
“It’s a fate that I do understand,
Though my hour is darkest,
I once worked for Star-Kist —
We tuna are much in demand.”

Sue Dulley:

A gambler was recently canned
And banned from the MGM Grand.
He made all his wins
Masquerading as twins,
While holding a queen in each hand.

Diane Groothuis:

An elephant had to be canned
For refusing to go on the stand.
He embarrassed the clown,
Disappointed the town,
And squirted green slime at the band.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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7 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (100)”

  1. Diane Groothuis says:

    Thanks for the honourable mention. It was a last minute inspiration before it closed.

  2. Jane Hoffman says:

    Thanks for my Facebook Friend’s Choice Award. That means a lot to me coming from so many talented rhyming experts!!! And congrats to everyone else. This was a great week for good limericks.

  3. Johanna Richmond says:

    Congratulations to David, Steve and Jane! Very funny limericks! Excellent HM lims too! Thanks, Mad!

  4. madkane says:

    You’re welcome. Congratulations again to all the winners!

  5. Congratulations, winners and honorable mentions.
    And thanks again, Mad Kane, for the prompts!

  6. Doug says:

    I do like Dianne’s one.

  7. madkane says:

    You’re very welcome, Linda Ann!