Mad Kane’s Political Madness

President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill.  Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. And that just ain’t gonna happen.

No way will George W. Bush clean up his own mess!  He’s never done it before, so why start now?  Bush has always used the here … catch approach to life, kicking the can down the road and sticking somebody else with problems he created.

Bush’s Iraq Strategy: Here … Catch!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kick the can down the road—that’s the plan:
Stick the war mess on some other man.
Wreak much havoc abroad
And at home. Oh my Gawd!
Then say, “Catch! Fix Iraq and Iran.”

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Hillary’s Missed Opportunity To Obtain A ‘Stranglehold’ On The Nomination
* Latest Carnival of Satire
* Carnival of the Feminists
* Caption Contest Day at the Mattress Police
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Carnival of Family Life
* Carnival of the Storytellers
* Writerly Types Carnival
* Carnival of Satire
* Carnival of Conflict
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Carnival on Observations of Life
* Best of Me Symphony
* This Is Not My Country
* Worldwide Opinions 

UPDATE: How could I forget to mention this? I’m running another limerick contest on my other blog. The theme is mothers and there are cash prizes for the two best limericks!

Technorati Tags: The Global War On Terror Supplemental, Iraq War, George W. Bush  Satire, Iraq Humor, Iran Humor, President Codpiece, Mission Accomplished, War Spending Bill

I’m betting that Laura Bush can finally say goodbye to her relatively high approval numbers.  Why? Because on this morning’s Today Show, Laura said something to Anne Curry that’s way beyond obnoxious:

NBC: Do you know the American people are suffering?

Laura Bush: Oh, I know that very much. And believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this. And certainly the Commander in Chief, who has asked our military to go into harm’s way.

NBC: What do you think the American public needs to know about…

Laura Bush: Well, I hope they do know the burden of worry that’s on his shoulders, every single day for our troops.

(You can see Laura Bush in action here.) 

This calls for a song parody, don’t you think?  And so I bring you my Serenade for the First Sufferers, which you can sing to Carolina In The Morning, by Gus Kahn & Walter Donaldson:

Serenade for the First Sufferers (Song Parody — sing to Carolina In The Morning)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No one suffers more
Than George and Laura from the war. 
They’re really mourning.

Photos of the dead
On cable news fill them with dread.
They’re really mourning.

They’d prefer ignoring
Tales of death and gore.
Where are the happy stories 
They long to hear once more?

Waking up so early
To the news of hurly burly
In the morning

Makes the Bushes surly.
How they hate to think so early
In the morning!

Pity George and Laura.
No one knows all their pain.
Death’s lousy,
But it’s George under strain.

No one suffers more
Than George and Laura from the war. 
They’re really mourning!

Technorati Tags: Laura Bush Humor, Laura Bush, NBC, Anne Curry,  Today Show,  Iraq War, War Satire, George Bush, Political Song Parody, Death Suffering, Troops, Military, Mourning, Commander In Chief, Pain

On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. This was part of their joint effort to convince the American people that the war in Iraq is going far better than the media would lead us to believe.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Merchants Of Hype
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Five rugs for five bucks!  What a deal!
Baghdad-shopping for Graham’s quite a steal.
Now I’m sold on the war
Cause I know what it’s for:
It’s to carpet Graham’s home.  How surreal! 

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Bush U.S. Attorney Disgraced by Appeals Court for Sham Prosecution of Innocent Woman (Buzzflash Analysis)
* Romney’s Fatal Admission: ‘I Hunted Gays Only Twice’
* Mitt Shoots Himself In The Foot
* Caution: Genius At Work
* what are friends for, if not to bomb little upstart arabic countries?
* The Talking Dog Interviews Marc Falkoff, co-counsel to 17 Yemenis held at Guantanamo
* Levin Shows The Dems Cards

Technorati Tags: Lindsey Graham, Five Rugs For Five Bucks, John McCain, Iraq capitalism, Baghdad Marketplace, Baghdad Shopping, Iraq War Satire, Blog Publicity, Linky Love, Skippy, Don Davis, Shakesville, Booman, OneGoodMove, Levin, Romney

Dems Pull Bush’s Chain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Congressional Dems reached a deal.
No, it isn’t ideal, yet I feel
It’s all right—a first step.
Stop this war? Dems said, “Yep!”
As for reining in Bush, they said, “Heel!” 

Technorati Tags: Congress Humor, Iraq War, Spending Bill, House Bill, Rein In Bush, U.S. Troops Readiness, Veterans’ Health and Iraq Accountability Act, Strategic Redeployment, U.S. Troops

Purges and Surges, Twin Scourges, Oh My!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dub’s prosecutorial purges
And unauthorized, bellicose surges
Have led me to think
(Though I’m far from a shrink)
What a sick way to deal with his urges!

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Prosecutor Purge, Attorney General, Bush Mental Health, Iraq Surge

By now, you’ve surely read the two-part Washington Post story about the abysmal treatment Iraq War veterans are receiving at Walter Reed Army Medical Center:

Why Does George Bush Hate Our Troops?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Where’s the medical aid for our troops?
When they’re injured, they’re treated like dupes.
Those who’ve lost arm or leg
Need our help, yet must beg
Us for care, forced to hurtle through hoops.

Technorati Tags: George Bush, Troops, Iraq War, Medical Care, Injured Veterans, Walter Reed Army Medical Center

You just have to love it: Senator John Warner helped kill the debate on Bush’s surge, voting to block a vote on his own Warner-Levin Iraq War Resolution:

Ode To Little John Warner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Little John Warner
Posed in the corner
With Dems, as an anti-surge guy.

But then he devolved,
And replaced his resolve
With “Republican soldier, am I.”

UPDATE:  John Warner has signed a letter demanding a vote on his resolution, after having helped block the vote on that very resolution.  I guess he was for it before he was against it, before he was for it.  I’m getting dizzy. 

Technorati Tags: John Warner Humor, Surge, Iraq Resolution, Filibuster, Iraq War, Bush White House, Warren-Levin Resolution

Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It is time for another Bush speech,
Which leaves honor and facts in the breach.
Please do not expect reason:
Just more acts of treason.
Enough with this nonsense.  Impeach!

Technorati Tags: Bush Speech, Iraq, War Strategy Speech, The Way Forward In Iraq, Impeach Bush, Iraq Troop Surge, War Powers

Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it:

Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It appears that we’re right on the verge
Of  what Bush and McCain call a surge.
Once again, George the Madman
Behaves like an adman
Whose product leads only to dirge.

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Mail Fraud (Skippy)
* Ten ‘Bombshells’ From Rudy’s Secret Dossier (Don Davis)
* Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on Sacrifice (OneGoodMove) 

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Bush Speech, Surge, Iraq Surge, Surge & Accelerate Plan, Sacrifice, McCain

Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of  “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview.

I fear  that Dr. Frank may well be right.  But even if my much milder haiku diagnosis is the correct one, we’re in deep trouble with Bush in the White House:

Dub on the Divan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dubya’s surging fear
Of emasculation drives
War escalation.

Technorati Tags: Sociopath Bush, Emasculation, Buzzflash, Justin A. Frank, Bush On The Couch, Bush Haiku

President Bush had some words of wisdom for us at Wednesday’s press conference: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.”

Hey, at least he finally has his priorities straight.  And that brings me to my latest political limerick:

Shopping For A New President Would Be Nice
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

‘Tis the season to buy stuff, for sure.
Have you shopped? Yes? Then go shop some more.
That’s what Dubya once said,
While ignoring the dead—
Needless victims of Dub’s wanton war.  

Technorati Tags: Bush Humor, War Humor, Economy Humor, Press Conference

“A Way Forward?” To Where, Exactly?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Iraq’s current state is abysmal,
With its prospects of peace rather dismal.
Dubya started this war,
Yielding blood, sweat and gore,
And success odds quite infinitesimal.

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And now some links, for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:
* The Talking Dog Interviews Michael Berube
* Year In Review: GOP ‘Takes A Perp Walk On The Wild Side’
* War Is Relative
* Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006
* Melissa Block talks with voice-over artists Dennis Steele and Scott Sanders about how to make a threatening voice for a political ad. (All Things Considered Audio Clip.)  

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Iraq Study Group, A Way Forward, War Satire

Ode To Diminished Expectations
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Unanimous yeses for Gates,
Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes
To be better than Rummy.
He isn’t a dummy!!!
That’s life in our Bush-induced straits.

Technorati Tags: Bob Gates Satire, Robert Gates, Confirmation Humor,  Defense Secretary, Senate Armed Services Committee

Uncivil Drivel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The pundits incessantly muse,
“Is it civil or not?” I’m confused,
Cause by all definitions
Dub’s ill-advised “mission”
Ignited a civil war fuse.

Technorati Tags: Civil War, Iraq War, Pundits, Mission, Satire

As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!”  I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, which just happened to be announced two days before Election Day. Uh-huh … right.

A Convenient Noose (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Saddam’s death sentence.
Serendipitous? Hardly!
Leave no scheme behind.

Technorati Tags: Saddam Hussein, Death Penalty, Death By Hanging, Election Day Humor, SNL’s Churchlady 

Chalk it up to pre-election delirium, but I just wrote a Bush-Cheney song parody to Winter Wonderland, without realizing that I used the same tune back in 2004 for a pre-election song parody.  Fortunately, a bad memory does have some benefits, so the lyrics are quite different. Here’s my new one:

Bush and Cheney’s Blunderland (Sing to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
No debate. Stop your braying.
“Fantastic” at war!
Bush Rummy adores.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

War is hard, but we’re winning.
GOP, lies and spinning.
Our war in Iraq
Is really on track.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

Bush and Rove are great at building straw men.
Then they proudly knock their straw men down.
Dub implies we’re traitors.
We’ll say, “No Man!”
It’s time to stop pretending you’ve been crowned.

Ev’ry day, they conspire.
Reckless knaves, thieves, and liars.
The Bush/Cheney reign,
Democracy’s bane.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

           =========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Worst Political Websites.
* I like Avedon when she’s in a snit.
* Don Davis’s Kerry: How Do You Ask Me To ‘Die’ For My Last Mistake?
* OneGoodMove has the New York Times’ latest editorial, and it’s a great one.
* Gary Trudeau Profile. (Via Alternative Hippopotamus)
* No Bush profiteering op left behind.
* Carnival Time: Carnival of Satire and Carnival of the Vanities.
* I sure hope journalists everywhere read this column and heed its counsel.
* Eric Schwartz sings his Clinton Got A Blowjob. 

Technorati Tags: Election Humor, Bush Humor, Bush Blunders, Richard Cheney, Dubya, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld

Dear Dub,

You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help:

Tactic: Language games.
Strategy: Deceive voters.
Goal: Win at all cost. 

Technorati Tags: Bush Haiku, Election Humor, Voters, Bush Lies, Language Games, Iraq Strategy, War Tactics, War Goals

The “He Misled” Theme Song (Sing to the Mr. Ed Theme Song.)
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead.

Go right to the source. He’ll lie of course.
Won’t give you an answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s never on a truthful course.
Lies you will be fed.

Pundits yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day.
And talking heads will rarely challenge the lies that the Bushies say.

George Dubya has no remorse, of course,
And Georgie will lie till his voice is hoarse.
He’d love to rule all the world by force.

But listen to this:

Happy days ahead!

(My previous “stay the course” humor is here and my song parodies are collected here.)

Technorati Tags: Stay The Course, Election Day, Bush Misled,  Bush Lies, Talking Heads, Pundits

Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty.  But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Bush Stays His Lying Course
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Of Iraq Dubya said, “stay the course.”
He repeated it till he was hoarse.
Yet he lies and avers:
I never used those words.
From the facts and the truth Dub’s divorced.

For more on this topic, check out Last Days Of President Bush, Just One Minute, Balloon Juice, Donklephant, Media Matters, The Washington Post and, on a lighter note, Don Davis.

Technorati Tags: Stay The Course, Bush Lies, Iraq Humor

Yesterday, Bush “used his weekly radio address … to challenge ‘misimpressions’ about the war.”

NIE Lies
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Georgie Dubya’s on the attack,
Slamming “misimpressions” about Iraq.
But the only falsehoods widely aired
Are talking points Dub’s “Brain” prepared.

Technorati Tags: NIE, National Intelligence Estimate, Bush’s Brain, Iraq War, Karl Rove, GOP Talking Points, Bush Lies, Misimpressions, Satire