Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TACT or INTACT or TACKED or ATTACKED at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TACT or INTACT or TACKED or ATTACKED at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write a themed limerick related to WINTER, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best winter-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on Feb. 21, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, Feb. 20 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

An editor lacking in tact
Said “This reads more like fiction, than fact.
It will never appear
On our pages, my dear;
We’d be sued and then have to retract.”

Said the writer, “My story is true,
And I used to have proof — quite a slew.
But my sources took flight
In the dead of the night
And my document files were hacked too.”

She continued, “I just need more time.
To obtain extra dirt on that slime.
Please be patient with me.
I can do it, you’ll see.
I’ll get proof of our publisher’s crime.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick(s) using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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107 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TACT or INTACT or TACKED or ATTACKED at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    It’s a true inescapable fact
    That this snow can be easily packed
    And then rolled into balls
    Shortly after it falls
    So watch out or you may be attacked!

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    The guy was not noted for tact.
    “Wow, baby,” he told her, “You’re stacked!”
    Wanna sample my dick?
    It’s a meal on a stick.”
    He never knew why he got smacked.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    She was pregnant, she knew for a fact,
    But insisted that she was ‘intact’.
    Though her story was lame –
    “’Twas an angel that came” –
    A religion was born from the act.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    The Winter’s Tale

    The snow and the ice had attacked
    Their ill-advised sexual act
    Outdoors in December;
    His deep-frozen member
    Was found in her digestive tract.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Oh, I hope that the summer comes soon!
    I could do with a cosy cocoon;
    The weather is freezing,
    I’m shivering, sneezing –
    In England, it’s winter in June.

  6. In wintertime I reflect
    As I remember
    A single rose
    I came upon
    One dark day in December

  7. Phyllis L says:

    Don’t care if the wind’s gonna blow;
    Don’t care if the snow’s gonna snow.
    But don’t think me callous;
    I’m living in Dallas,
    Where it never goes 20 below!

  8. Jen says:

    The elections: reporting each fact
    While those quoted scream they’re attacked
    Who really is lying?
    Whose campaign’s truly dying?
    And is the whole thing really stacked?

  9. Jen says:

    “I only told truth – it’s a fact!”
    “Come on, wouldn’t you? She’s stacked!”
    Geomeshi defends
    Without offering amends
    This slimeball deserves to be whacked.

  10. Kirk Miller says:

    To avoid winter cold and its strife,
    I moved south to a warm, sunny life.
    But I still must beware
    Of the chill in the air
    From the cold, icy stare of my wife.

  11. Kirk Miller says:

    A weatherman gave his descriptions
    Of winter, and made his predictions.
    Correction fluid spilled;
    The weather map it filled.
    He forecast some white-out conditions.

  12. Kirk Miller says:

    “Just last week,” said my buddy, Otis,
    “At a nudist camp called The Lotus,
    A sign by a printer
    Pertained to the winter,
    Said: We’re clothed until further notice.”

  13. Phyllis L says:

    Seismologists skillfully tracked
    A seven point nine, and attacked
    The oil guys for making
    That quaking and shaking.
    The earth cracked; the fact was, they fracked.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    He reported with truth and with tact,
    And he didn’t know why he’d been sacked
    From Fox News. “We need guys”,
    Said his boss, “Who tell lies –
    There’s no place in our programme for fact.”

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    They discovered a strange artifact
    On a mastodon, frozen intact.
    With a face like a pig
    And a bright orange wig,
    Donald’s ancestral line had been tracked.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    She was pretty, but, God! How she yakked!
    It was useless to tell her with tact,
    But he found, with elation,
    The answer: fellation –
    She had to shut up when she snacked.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    When Vlad the Impaler attacked,
    His enemies found themselves stacked
    On his skewers, then fried,
    But Vlad often sighed
    For the barbecue sauce that he lacked.

  18. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    I’m quite tired of getting attacked
    I’m for Sanders- and I feel bushwhacked
    “She DESERVES to win,”
    They scream time and again
    My gal pals sure overreact

    I admire a lot that she’s done
    And I know it’s the last time she’ll run
    Though she’s quite the contender
    I’m not swayed by gender
    For me Sanders hits a home run

    She’s backed by Wall Street and PACS
    There, I’ve said it, right here, typed in black
    Just know I’ll not choose
    Rubio, Trump or Cruz
    Or any on GOP’s track

    The ticket that I’d love to see
    Is a Sanders-Warren marquee
    But post -South Carolina
    Might be my vagina
    That votes- if she’s the nominee

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    The sales had begun. It was packed.
    Shop-girls trembled. The store was ransacked
    As an army of shoppers,
    From young teeny-boppers
    To grannies, all counter-attacked.

    She always knows every fact
    Until she gets somewhat attacked
    Then she gets pushy
    Just watch her tushy
    It tends to expand and contract

  21. In wintertime I reflect
    A lovely event that I remember
    It was snowing and
    The wind was blowing
    But I found a rose in December


    She seems to know every fact
    Until she gets somewhat attacked
    Then she gets pushy
    Just watch her tushy
    It tends to expand and THEN contract

  23. Judith H. Block says:

    EDITED- resubmitted

    The hungry mosquitoes attacked!
    We know now just what will attract-
    If you’re blood type O
    A park outing? Don’t go!
    Though they’ll bite others, too, that’s a fact.

  24. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Sidewalks covered with ice and with snow
    And a wind chill of twenty below
    It was too much for me
    I decided to flee
    Would I ever go back there? Hell no!

  25. Judith H. Block says:

    Revised version…

    He yearned for some sex to distract
    She wanted a kinky sex act
    He thought he was game
    She was a tough dame
    He escaped with his man-parts intact!


    The snow-scape is tranquil and bright…
    Inside, though, I’m having to fight
    Not to giggle and snort
    When the weather report
    Says, “We got seven inches last night!”

    And likewise, I cannot be proud
    Of the fact that I chuckle aloud
    When I hear that the guy
    In the truck passing by
    Is shouting: “Hey — wanna get plowed?”

    My answer? You already know it —
    And I’m just the woman to crow it:
    Pretending to ponder
    My snow-blower yonder,
    I ask him, “Why don’t I just… blow it?!”

  27. Kirk Miller says:

    Horny woman has got an interest
    After winter to try a Spring tryst.
    Oral sex with wordplay
    Is her fav’rite foreplay;
    Gets turned on by some punning linguist.

  28. Kirk Miller says:

    In the winter when driving in snow
    That’s been slush and refrozen, go slow.
    When his son questioned why,
    Father said with a sigh:
    “Reason’s simple: because ice said so.”

  29. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Re Brian’s Limerick:

    “Oh, I hope that the summer comes soon!
    I could do with a cosy cocoon;
    The weather is freezing,
    I’m shivering, sneezing –
    In England, it’s winter in June.”

    Brian I this is great
    I think you can sharpen it by:
    Oh, I hope that the summer comes soon!
    I’m sick of this british monsoon!

  30. It’s been 5 years since my attack
    By a wild Himalayan long-haired yak
    I’m very upset
    And still can’t forget
    That he never never called me back


    With you I’ll be making a pact,
    Edward Lear: For too long I’ve attacked
    Your magnificent rhymes
    For the Worst of All Crimes:
    That your first and last lines were exact.

  32. Said Trump, “I will win. It’s a fact.
    Those clowns? They’re my opening act.
    These morons — these twits
    Lack my charm, and my wits,
    And my classiest attribute: TACT.”

  33. Brian Allgar says:



    There aren’t many nymphs when it’s snowing;
    They’re home by a fireside that’s glowing.
    So I prick up my ears
    When this nympho appears
    Saying “Honey, I’m ready for blowing.”

    Well, I’m just the fellow to sate her –
    I’ll try not to asphyxiate her!
    My priapic prize
    Is roughly the size
    Of a large and well-fed alligator.

    As a satyr, I’m built like a horse,
    And I come with incredible force.
    But she swallows the lot,
    Saying “That’s all you’ve got?
    It’s a starter – now, where’s the main course?”

  34. The winter is here in a city I’ve chosen
    And Wrigley Field is experiencing erosion
    On the Magnificent Mile
    You see everyone smile
    That’s because their faces are frozen

  35. Mama said “Please have some tact
    When you’re watching The Sopranos, don’t overreact”
    Tact aside
    I almost cried
    When poor Vito Spatafore was violently whacked

  36. Kirk Miller says:

    In the winter, I went on a trip
    With psychiatrists skiing. I’d quip
    At the end of each day.
    To my wife, I would say
    That I saw many Freudians slip.

  37. Val Fish says:

    Some people will say that I’m ‘sad’
    Winter blues I get really bad
    Birds get to migrate
    I just hibernate
    Cocooned in my warm cosy pad

  38. In Chicago we wear heavy lined clothes
    We know how harshly the “Lake” wind blows
    It’s essential to keep warm
    And we weather the storm
    But we can’t get the icicles out of our nose

  39. Val Fish says:

    He just couldn’t ignore the fact
    Though she’d said that she was intact
    He’d gone in smooth as ice
    She came not once but twice
    Her innocence all one big act

  40. Seems familiar, this neocon-backed
    Insistence Iran be attacked.
    Sometimes, if I rack
    My poor brains, things come back…
    So I racked, and I RACKed, and IRAQed.

  41. Good Lord, how that critic attacked
    The X-rated “Hamlet”. In fact,
    He said that the Bard
    Had been “boned, long and hard”,
    And his headline read: “FUSSED UP THE ACT”.


    Said I, “I’ve been told that I lacked
    Common decency, morals and tact
    For some verses I struck
    When the rhyme-word was ‘duck’…
    What do you think, my darling?”
    ………………… She quacked.

  43. Brian Allgar says:

    … but it’s worse when the rhyme-word is “stunt”.
    Though I’ve really no wish to affront
    Any delicate ear,
    I will shock them, I fear,
    When I sign myself “Kevin Leigh Hunt”.

  44. Tim James says:

    The Republicans chose to react
    To the climate change “hoax.” They attacked,
    Ev’ry clown, crank and loon.
    If they don’t wise up soon,
    We will *all* end up totally fracked.

  45. Tim James says:

    He’s not fine, yet he seems to attract
    Lots of gals. Is it manners, or tact?
    Neither one. He gets flirty,
    Then starts talking dirty.
    To quote: “Let me lick your [redact].”

  46. ValFish says:

    Next week it’s the Spring Equinox,
    We’ll soon see the changing of clocks
    This cold Easter bunny
    Fails to find it funny
    Still clad in hat, scarf and wooly socks
    (This is an oldie, written a couple of years ago, nearing the
    end of a particularly, seemingly long cold British Winter).

  47. Brian Allgar says:

    Doctor Spooner complained of the fact:
    “I was vilified, mocked and attacked
    For my lips of the stung,
    For my treadful old dung –
    All the skills that my lung sadly tacked.”

  48. Brian Allgar says:

    Doctor Faustus, to get what he lacked,
    Had made with the Devil a pact
    For his soul. Boy, oh boy!
    He got Helen of Troy,
    And he . . . that’s all I’ll say, out of tact.

  49. When I meet a man I react
    With celibate and pristine tact
    Mama taught me how to pray
    And never go astray
    So all of my parts are intact

  50. Mad: Please take out the word STILL

    It should read “so all my parts are intact”

    thank you (above limerick)

    MBK: Done.

  51. Brian Allgar says:

    Milady de Winter’s worst fears
    Come to pass, and the axeman now shears
    Her duplicitous head.
    They are glad that she’s dead,
    Although Athos sheds three musky tears.

  52. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman was lacking in tact
    But her figure was very well stacked
    So she looked rather classy
    Though some would say brassy
    When she told them to go and get fracked,
    Like · Reply · 3 mins · Edited

  53. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    It is not my métier, this tact.
    I’m impulsive and foolishly act.
    Seems whatever I think
    I blurt out in a blink—
    You’re an ass as a matter of fact.

  54. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Oops, I left in the L5 comma. At your convenience, Mad, would you remove it please?

    MBK: Done.

  55. My Internet date said I was “stacked”
    And I politely counterattacked
    I kicked him in his jewels
    And proclaimed all my rules
    The man apparently was lacking in tact

  56. Dave Johnson says:

    A timber town out in the hinters
    Needs someplace to warm up its winters.
    But a strip club has found
    Where loggers abound,
    Lap dancers have issues with splinters.

  57. Craig says:

    The earth is still somehow intact.
    There’s still gravity, nothing has cracked.
    But some of us here
    Have just lost a friend dear,
    And I had to acknowledge that fact.

    RIP Johanna

    From MBK: Thanks, Craig! That was a lovely tribute to our good friend and wonderful Limerick-Offer Johanna Richmond. She’ll be sorely missed!

  58. Tim James says:

    With apologies to Sammy Cahn…

    Oh, the weather outside was quite frightful;
    Making out with you, though, was delightful.
    You stoked up my fires,
    Wouldn’t slake my desires,
    Sent me home in the snow. That’s just spiteful.

  59. Dave Johnson says:

    Ted Cruz is a one-pony act
    Who’s never been bothered by fact.
    With elbows like bats
    And continual spats,
    His “dick” bona fides are intact.

  60. Dave Johnson says:

    He hauled out his childhood toboggan
    When a snowstorm shut down Okanogan;
    But, hitting a bump,
    Flying into a stump
    Left an image of Trump on his noggin.

  61. Andy L says:

    Eleven degrees and I sit in my hovel
    Hands and feet are warm, no trouble
    looks fine from here inside
    but it’s time my shoes were tied
    I have to get out the door with my shovel.

    At the restaurant I want a nice tea
    Because it’s cold outside, you see?
    But no matter the month
    I observe with a grunt
    The water they serve is so icy.

    Gazing outside I rest my hands on the sill
    To see the sun on the snow is a thrill
    but my gloves and hat
    sit where I left them at
    It may be eleven degrees but that’s before the windchill.

  62. Don L says:

    It is without a doubt winter
    I’ll just stay in and listen to Chris Smither
    but in the corner is my shovel
    so I put on my boots and grovel
    to do my duty knowing what I’d rather

  63. Don L says:

    Oh my I got a splinter
    my finger hurts and I’m bitter
    I can’t use my hand
    to play in the jam band
    it’s going to be a long winter

  64. Don L says:

    when the wind blows cold it’s winter
    I’m confined inside like a sinner
    the streets outside are icy
    travel could be dicey
    so I’ll stay on the couch a winner

  65. Don L says:

    weather channel says the wind chill
    has a license to kill
    so frosty the snowman
    will play while he can
    but I must run inside for a hot chocolate refill

  66. The “Windy City” has a magical power
    A shock wave pops up and you see a flower
    Then you meet Dorothy
    And Toto as well
    Then you open your eyes
    And you’re at the Sears Tower

    (You said any rhyme scheme, and this was the best I could do)

    When I meet a man I always react
    With a pristine approach; I don’t interact
    Sister Theresa said, “Always pray
    And never ever go astray”
    So all my parts are still intact

  68. Fred Bortz says:

    Some folks clearly welcomed the fact
    That SCOTUS quite suddenly lacked
    Justice Nino Scalia.
    They sneered, “Hope to see ya
    In Lucifer’s realm.” (They’ve no tact.)

  69. Dave Johnson says:

    Three blind mice
    Went walking on the ice.
    As they slipped and slid,
    Mr. Buzzard did
    Have appetizers thrice.

  70. Fred Bortz says:


    After slurping his mulligatawny
    At the Indian Grill before dawn, he
    Rushed up to the Knob
    For his annual job.
    (He’s the groundhog in cold Punxsutawney.)

  71. Dave Johnson says:

    A local sportscaster named Dell
    Has an eye for the weather girl, Nell.
    He says she is hot;
    She thinks he is not.
    The forecast: A cold say in Hell.

  72. David Reddekopp says:

    From the way that Fox News would react
    You would think they are being attacked
    But the truth, when laid bare
    Is they hate playing fair
    So their claim has no basis in fact.

  73. Mark Kane says:

    The GOP slate is just packed
    with candidates lacking in tact.
    They’re a rude spewing crew,
    But that’s all they can do,
    Lash back, with their lies, when attacked.

  74. Kristin Smith says:

    From Phyllis S Smith:

    I’ve never been noted for tact.
    I don’t use my words to attract.
    It’s just who I am
    And I don’t give a damn
    For the tact that it’s fact that I lacked.

  75. Kristin Smith says:

    From Phyllis Sterling Smith:

    Think winter, think snow and think ice.
    Robert Frost saw that ice would suffice.
    My ten toes are freezing,
    I cannot stop sneezing,
    And I don’t think that winter is nice.

  76. Allen Wilcox says:

    In winter my private parts freeze,
    Which leads me to ask my wife, “Please,
    Let’s ride out the storm,
    And keep ourselves warm,
    And get under the blankets and squeeze?”

  77. Allen Wilcox says:

    It was clear when old Donald attacked,
    He relied on more fiction than fact.
    When he got return fire,
    He yelled, “Liar, liar,”
    And demanded his critics retract.

  78. Allen Wilcox says:

    When the ninety-five theses were tacked,
    Martin Luther had hoped they’d attract
    More folks to his cause,
    But it led some to pause
    When the Catholic Church had him sacked.


    The “Windy City” has magical power
    It poppies you away to a deadly flower
    You see Miss Dorothy and Toto too
    Then you’re skyrocketed back to the famous Sears Tower

  80. Correction (Facebook website)

    Letty was afraid she’d been hacked
    Her secrets spilled fiction or fact
    Cried into the night
    Nothing going right
    Morning saw her diary intact

  81. Dave Johnson says:

    Last night I was totally wracked;
    My senses no longer intact.
    Then, awoke with a scream
    From a terrible dream
    With President Trump as a fact.

  82. Dave Johnson says:

    He told her “I think you’ll attract
    A grateful response from the act.
    So now, if you please,
    Drop down to your knees…”
    (He’s clever, but lacking in tact)

  83. Judith H. Block says:

    Cold weather and snow I despise,
    Days after, a scary surprise…
    To be precise,.
    I fell on black ice.
    Extra cautious; don’t want a reprise.

  84. Poor Hillary’s feeling attacked
    And annoyed that she can’t just redact
    Each speech that she gave
    For exclusive enclave
    By Executive-Privileged act.

    “My plenipotentiary tact
    Should be leaving this rabble gobsmacked! –
    Yet they niggle and nag –
    But it’s all in the bag,
    If I keep everything SuperPAC’d.”

    “They’ll settle down once I distract
    With more proxies! – and cherrypicked fact! –
    For a populist voice
    Giving voters a choice
    Must be stopped ere they know what they’ve lacked!”

    So media staff she has sacked
    And retooled for a better impact
    On millennial minds,
    But her construct unwinds,
    And it’s hard to keep clay feet intact.

    For they’re held to the fire and wracked –
    And it makes it /so/ hard to play-act
    Without showing spite,
    When one’s presupposed right
    Is debunked and the decks come unstacked.

  85. Diane Groothuis says:

    I am really surprised that you lacked
    That formal and old-fashioned tact
    And referred to his flatus
    An abnormal hiatus
    Because his intestines were packed.

  86. Diane Groothuis says:

    We live in the Australian Sun
    But much prefer the shade
    Your US ice looks very nice
    But in some lemonade

    Winter Summer Spring and Fall
    The world is a rotating ball
    Don’t worry mate you’ll get it all
    In 3 months time you’ll burn.

  87. Judith H. Block says:

    Revised version of my Winter limerick-

    Cold weather and snow I despise
    Days after, a scary surprise…
    To be precise,.
    I fell on black ice.
    Extra caution, I now realize.

  88. Allen Wilcox says:

    The lad shelving books clearly cracked
    As the coed strode by to attract.
    And so the librarian
    Pleaded, “Please, now carry on.”
    (It was not just the books that were stacked.)

    I apologize for the slight rhyming violation.

  89. Janie Gouge says:

    An abundant reserve of tact
    Overriding what others lack
    Such unrivaled grace
    Is always in place
    Keeps peace from being sidetracked

  90. Dave Johnson says:

    Whenever it snows in Seattle,
    Some residents are prone to rattle.
    Those living on hills
    Get most of the thrills;
    Gravitational pull they must battle.

  91. Suzanne Heymann says:

    “Does this dress make me fat or attract?”
    He replied with remarkable tact:
    “No, but your lovely rump
    Is just pleasantly plump”
    Well, his head got a bump that was packed.

  92. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Together the lovers had shacked
    And made with each other a pact
    If they fought or were cheatin’
    Gave either a beatin’
    They’d lovingly do it with tact.

  93. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Soon after his words had attacked
    It became much too late to retract
    Why is he not reeling,
    Appealing, or feeling
    The wrath as the people react?

  94. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Icy roads are the number one reason
    Why winter’s a terrible season
    And other bad things
    That this time of year brings
    Are the sneezin’ and wheezin’ and freezin’.

    Oh sure, it’s so pretty and white
    But I’d trade back some heat for that sight
    Oh, I did that already
    Where warm climes are steady
    On Vancouver Island, that’s right!

  95. Tim James says:

    Through the winds of rejection she tacked;
    He was dim, and liked gals who were stacked.
    She could cook and was smart,
    Knew the way to his heart:
    Through his gastrointestinal tract.

  96. We were traveling on the riverboat
    When suddenly we were all afloat
    The weather was freezing
    And extremely displeasing
    Even the snow man was wearing a coat

  97. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Jack Frost is a bastard, you know
    He first makes things pretty with snow
    But it comes with a hitch
    And you’ll soon start to bitch
    When you slide in a ditch; a cold blow!

    Old Man Winter is also a jerk
    He makes shovelling extra hard work
    With a frostbitten nose
    And ten layers of clothes
    Ev’ry southerner knows you’re berserk!

    The Snow Queen, a bitch who’s no better
    You’d say so yourself if you met her
    The cars are all stuck
    And the heat’s gone, oh f–k!
    Now ain’t that just my luck?! Where’s my sweater?

    And where’s the Abominable Snowman?
    I think he’s a myth, just a show, man!
    But if you achieve
    To so blindly believe
    Then you’re bloody naïve and real slow, man!

  98. David Reddekopp says:

    For a treat I decided to go
    To the vendor I shelled out the dough
    Now I wish I had known
    That my yellow snow cone
    Had been made out of real yellow snow.

  99. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    With wintery winds coldly blowing,
    It’s constantly sleeting and snowing.
    I struggle each day,
    So I fervently pray
    That this worldwide warming ain’t slowing.

  100. Brian — one last installment:


    Of seasons, I like winter best,
    For women go properly dressed.
    The layers we wear
    Thwart men’s lecherous stare…
    So in winter, I’ve just one request:

    (“Request”, did I say? No — DEMAND:)
    That Valentine’s Day should be BANNED!
    And that’s why I go
    To protest in the snow,
    With a very large sign in my hand.

    It’s cold and it’s snowy, it’s true…
    But really: what else can I do
    But stake out my place,
    And then chant, ’til my face
    (Like my nose and my stockings) turns blue?

    But as I go marching, I trip —
    My clothing comes loose with a rip!
    As I sit there in shame,
    Laughs a bystander: “Blame
    The ice that was under your slip!”

  101. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If a guy finds a girl who’s well-stacked
    He’s a keeper if true this next fact:
    Her virginity seems
    To just dwell in his dreams
    But he leaves it completely intact.

  102. Allen Wilcox says:

    Mad, please forgive me for leaving out any key word
    from my last limerick. Duh! The following is my effort
    to atone for my behavior by adding a second verse.

    The lad approached and got smacked.
    It appeared there was something he lacked.
    She said, “I am booked
    Already, you looked
    Like a lecher without any tact.”

  103. Suzanne Heymann says:

    An ice floe is nature’s cool raft
    Climb aboard one and get photographed
    If you stand there and straddle
    Make sure you’ve a paddle
    Or you might be dead more than daft.

    If you live, you might still get a scare
    Should you meet a big starved polar bear
    The pictures I take
    Will be shown at your wake
    So it proves that I really do care.

  104. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Oops, left out one word! Aaargh!

    On the bulletin board he had tacked
    Photographs of his girlfriend well-stacked
    Too late to withdraw it
    When wifeypoo saw it
    And that’s why his noggin is cracked.

  105. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Now is the winter of my
    Discontent cuz, though high in the sky,
    This damned Yorkian sun
    Is a niggardly one.
    I would much rather be in Brunei.

  106. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the WINTER-Themed Limerick Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick-Off Award 246.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Beat.