Rash Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was terribly rash…*

or

A gal was upset by a rash…*

or

A woman had done something rash…*

or

A city had suffered a rash…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Rash Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A musician was terribly rash
In committing to drum up some cash
For an equine-themed play.
No one rich said okay;
A loud chorus of nays, but no stash.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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71 Responses to “Rash Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. John Sardo says:

    A woman had done something rash
    Had tonic and gin just a splash
    She woke up in a daze
    With eyes all a glaze
    She had been taken out with the trash.

  2. John Sardo says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    From a night that left her abash
    She fell out of a boat
    And so couldn’t gloat
    She plunged in coal ash with a splash.

  3. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was terribly rash
    About spending his limited cash
    He bought a Ferrari
    But soon he was sorry
    In a flash he had spent all his stash.

  4. Jon Gearhart says:

    My wife had a painful red rash
    From eating some strawberry mash.
    She hiked up her skirt
    To show where it hurt
    Which made my car swerve and then crash!

  5. Jon Gearhart says:

    In my neighborhood, there’s been a rash
    Of break-ins and folks losing cash,
    Possessions, and jewels.
    Recession’s what fuels
    Aggressions and makes burglars brash.

  6. Jon Gearhart says:

    Dear paleface, quit acting so rash.
    It’s annoyingly lacking in flash.
    When you act inflamed
    Then you should be blamed
    For red welts on your lily-white ash.

  7. Tom Hale says:

    Though often not one to be rash,
    He sent them the bulk of his cash.
    Their magic repair
    For his thinning hair?
    Alas, just so much balderdash.

  8. Briian Allgar says:

    His back had come up in a rash
    Where his mistress had wielded the lash.
    “Killer bees!” he tried lying -
    His wife wasn’t buying,
    And bundled him out with the trash.

  9. Briian Allgar says:

    I adnit it was foolish and rash
    To show her my bankroll of cash,
    But how could I know
    That the sweet little ho
    Would slip me a Mickey, and dash?

  10. Briian Allgar says:

    I’d intended to write about “Rash-
    omon” (Japanese film), but such brash
    Hyphenation would, sad-
    ly, infuriate Mad,
    And my chances of winning would crash.

  11. yt cai says:

    Jimmy’s girlfriend developed a rash
    While petting in the back of his Nash
    He slipped her a Vlassic
    Right there in that classic
    In a pickle she’s now looking for cash

  12. yt cai says:

    In an opium den Ahmed got rash
    After smoking up all of his stash
    He swore that he’d quit
    Then had to admit
    T’was an oath that he’d often re-hash

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had done something rash..
    And dyed her hair- Oh, it looked brash!
    The red was too strong-
    On her it looked wrong.
    So she changed it to a brown ash.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was terribly rash!
    Declaring love, he was quite brash.
    But he was adored.
    And in bed he soared
    He lived his life with great panache!

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had done something rash.
    Switching from beef to succotash.
    It made her a saint-
    To show such restraint.
    But it was all great balderdash!

  16. scott says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    six inches south of her sash
    only to learn
    it was just whisker burn
    and made her man shave his mustache

  17. rbasler says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    When she listened to ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash’
    She said, ‘Hold it, Mick!’
    ‘I’ve got zits I must pick!’
    ‘So I wish you’d stop singing your trash!’

  18. Phyllis L says:

    A man who was terribly rash
    Signed up for the hundred-yard dash.
    His head in a muddle
    He slipped in a puddle,
    And he finished up with a splash.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was terribly rash
    In love making, he had panache.
    But she laughed; didn’t moan,
    His rhythm was thrown.
    He’d tickled her with his moustache!

  20. Jon Gearhart says:

    In building, like love, don’t be rash
    By beginning to screw in a flash.
    First, be gentle and drill
    Tender holes with your Skil
    So you won’t split that nice piece of ash.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    Che Guevara had been rather rash,
    And his enemies pounced in a flash,
    But he gave them the slip
    By disguising his lip
    With a huge Groucho Marx-ist moustache.

  22. Jon Gearhart says:

    Some rhetorical historical fiction:

    “Now, Gorbachev, please don’t be rash,”
    Said Dutch, “like your head or I’ll bash
    Your purpley-red top off.
    Like Yuri Andropov,
    Chernenko and you will be ash.”

  23. Jon Gearhart says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    That appeared next to her forward slash
    The bumpy red patch
    That enveloped her snatch
    Made it hard for the whore to earn cash.

  24. Jon Gearhart says:

    Perl said to him, “Please don’t be rash
    and in haste when you come for a #.
    If you’re not careful, hon,
    It’ll be your last 1.
    If you ENTER and ! my \.”

  25. Charley Simmons says:

    A fellow did something quite rash
    Late at night when he took out the trash
    Saw his neighbor quite bare
    from a shower so fair
    He ran masterbaiting into a tree, with a bash.

    [last line probably to long but, I think it's hilarious]

  26. Randy Mazie says:

    A girl was upset by a rash
    she got worrying ’bout not having cash
    So she married Joel
    who bought and sold coal
    and kept her ass happy in ash

    Randy Mazie
    thewritersvillage.wordpress.com

  27. Randy Mazie says:

    A girl was upset by a rash
    when her boyfriend brought home succotash
    she wondered how he
    wasn’t sick just like she,
    but he strained it first through his moustache

    Randy Mazie
    thewritersvillage.wordpress.com

  28. Randy Mazie says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    from eating folk’s leftover trash
    I urge you not try it
    it is a bad diet
    and I don’t recommend the goulash

    Randy Mazie
    thewritersvillage.wordpress.com

  29. Randy Mazie says:

    A gal was upset by a lip rash
    she got from her boyfriend’s moustache
    she cut off his hair
    while dead drunk, my dear,
    Then later got caught up in whiplash.

    Randy Mazie
    thewritersvillage.wordpress.com

  30. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    There are some who will think that it’s rash
    Saying super type heroes are trash
    In the sack, but it’s true.
    They’re not better than you
    If they’re coming as quick as the Flash.

  31. Jon Gearhart says:

    A woman had done something rash
    One night at a party with Slash
    She jumped the guitarist,
    (Who humped her clitarist)
    Got pregnant, some fame, and some cash

  32. Mark Kane says:

    With sex, it’s best not to be rash,
    Even after a gal’s wink and flash.
    Can you really be sure
    Her intentions are pure,
    Or might “she” be a “he” seeking cash?

  33. Jon Gearhart says:

    I think it’s a little bit rash
    To hurry and make a big splash
    So you can be first
    And wind up the worst
    Once everyone debugs your trash

  34. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    With a hare-triggered temper, he’s rash.
    That Yosemite Sam’s also brash.
    Though some say that he scored
    With a widow whose horde
    He has stolen and stored in his ‘stache.

  35. “Dear Sirs, Your ointment ‘STOP RASH!’
    Has removed all my pubes! It’s just trash!” …
    “Dear Madam, Our pills
    ‘GET PUBES!’ clear such ills” …
    “Dear Sirs, Now I’ve grown a moustache!”

  36. Byron Ives says:

    You don’t have to do something rash
    Just come to this state with some cash
    Forget about paper
    It’s all about vapor,
    Gummy bears, wax weed, and hash

  37. Byron Ives says:

    The bloggers may have gone rash
    Each week there’s a limerick mishmash
    But now here’s a word
    Where few rhymes are heard
    In hopes the server won’t crash…..

  38. Byron Ives says:

    The POTUS did something rash
    He went fundraising for cash
    Oh wait, that’s the norm,
    No matter the storm,
    Or crisis, or jumbo plane crash

  39. Fred Bortz says:

    The physicist sprinter was rash.
    He claimed he had won in the dash.
    He asserted that Quantum
    Mechanics don’t daunt ‘im:
    “It’s warp speed that earns me the cash.”

  40. Byron Ives says:

    My demented old neighbor was rash
    Seems thieves stole her food, but no cash
    She said violators
    Took her corned beef and taters,
    Then she went home to Bob to rehash

  41. Fred Bortz says:

    In Nevada, you may get a rash
    If you’re lured by the neon light’s flash
    To the wrong pleasure palace
    Where a hooker named Alice
    Makes you hot then demands your cold cash.

    The moral is not to be brash.
    When your lust and your good judgment clash,
    Choose a brothel that’s legal.
    You’ll soar like an eagle
    To know that your gal is not trash.

  42. Byron Ives says:

    So maybe Gramps did something rash
    He made, sold, and hid, sour mash
    I’ve heard this same drama
    Many times from old Gramma
    A rehash of cash from mash cache

  43. Mark Kane says:

    Can you treat my poor, sore privates rash?
    And Doctor, please say you’ll take cash,
    Cuz my wife can not know,
    The cause, blow-by-blow,
    Or she’ll toss me right out in a flash.

  44. Byron Ives says:

    Her triple entendre seemed rash
    As she started removing her sash
    “You’ll jump my wee furry,”
    “And then want to scurry.”
    “So, I’ll have you off in a flash.”

  45. Mark Kane says:

    The iPhone has caused quite a rash
    Of pictures, and some with panache.
    But pervs can’t be happy,
    As they are caught snappy
    Undressing and sometimes mid-flash.

  46. Val Fish says:

    A woman had done something rash,
    Shagged the boss at their company bash,
    Although she felt sordid,
    She was well rewarded,
    Come payday with double the cash.

  47. Judith H. Block says:

    Inspired by Season 2, episode 2 of Ray Donovan-
    His wife, Abby, buys a gorgeous corset
    and panties from the store, Agent Provocateur,
    to seduce him:
    A city has suffered a rash
    Of shopping for thongs with panache
    It’s expensive for sure:
    Agent Provocateur;
    For hot guys and women with cash.

  48. Jon Gearhart says:

    Took my jock off and noticed a rash
    Had formed on my “beast built to bash”,
    So I slathered rash cream
    On and in my gal’s seam
    And she lathered my beam in a flash!

  49. Fred Bortz says:

    In the Limerick Off is it rash
    To splatter your verse with the dash?
    Using hyphens? No good–
    That should be understood–
    Mad Kane has declared that too brash!

  50. P Diane Schneider says:

    A woman had done something rash
    While having her way at a bash
    So he spent his dime
    And had a hot time
    And everything then turned to ash

  51. Mark Kane says:

    A swimmer once did something rash,
    She tempted some guy with a flash
    Of her pretty, bare breast.
    Have you yet guessed the rest?
    She’s made quite the internet splash.

  52. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    It seems seeking attention is rash
    If your plan is to snatch the King’s sash.
    As I’m thrown from the roof,
    I’m regretting this goof,
    But at least, I will make quite a splash.

  53. Diane Groothuis says:

    A computer buff did something rash
    which caused all his programs to crash
    And the main explanation
    For this situation
    Is too many cookies in the cache

  54. Tom Harris says:

    The old guy’s embarrassing rash,
    Which he got buying sex with cash
    From a girl who looked pure,
    Had good looks and allure.
    But her morals? A bit slapdash.

  55. Jon Gearhart says:

    Monty Python’s success spread like rash
    Causing outbursts of laughs in a flash.
    Blokes like Idle and Cleese,
    Like infectious disease,
    Are the boils on life’s arse–with panache!

  56. Tim James says:

    A fellow was terribly rash:
    With his gal he began talking trash.
    “I turn eighteen today;
    Where’s my b. j. and lay?”
    So she gave him a quick birthday bash.

  57. John Armstrong says:

    A fellow had a bad rash
    But found himself short of the cash
    He found an old skillet
    And residue to fill it
    He handled the rash with panache

  58. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    That covered her body like ash.
    “Although it,” observed she
    “Might seem I’m a pre-
    Mature gray, I’m am really a smash.”

  59. Allen Wilcox says:

    A lisper upset by a rash
    Of friends who decided to dash
    Away from her party
    ‘Cause she was so farty.
    She invited again, “Kith my ash.”

  60. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of children who wanted to splash
    Out back in her pool.
    It was really not cool -
    That was where she had hidden her stash.

    I

  61. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of perverts who wanted to flash
    Her the best that they had,
    Which made her so sad.
    She gave each a small part of her cash.

  62. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of the homeless who wanted her trash.
    But she had to admit
    It was nothing but shit,
    And they just were a little bit brash.

  63. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of relatives wanting to crash.
    And after ayear,
    She was, it was clear,
    A relative wanting to smash.

  64. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of stalkers who wanted to slash.
    Her martial arts skills
    Did indeed lead to kills
    And to throwing them out in the trash.

  65. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of neighbors who wanted to clash.
    Her preferred solution
    To this verbal pollution -
    To get it all out and then hash.

  66. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of beggars who asked for her cash.
    They did it so rudely -
    On top of that crudely -
    It was out that she wanted to lash.

  67. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of students who wanted her hash.
    She was open to trades,
    If thwy got better grades,
    And they did and, oh, what a bash.

  68. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal ws upset by a rash
    Of addicts who wanted her stash.
    So she gave them cocaine
    Much too rich for the brain.
    They went up, then a terminal crash.

  69. Allen Wilcox says:

    A gal was upset by a rash
    Of limericks written to thrash
    Her good name, so she sought
    Out the writer and taught
    Him how not to survive as a mash.

  70. Allen Wilcox says:

    A city had suffered a rash
    Of gang members making a splash.
    So out went the cops
    To bust all their chops.
    Without teeth they had nothing to gnash.

    Some considered this move a bit rash,
    And said that they thoughtt raising cash -
    To educate, train,
    Create jobs – was more sane,
    And was less in the pan like a flash.

  71. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 174.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Lmerick Rank.