Fake Safety Rules (Washington Post Style Invitational Contest)
I found the Washington Post Style Invitational Contest’s request for humorous fake safety regs especially challenging. (You’d think that being a recovering attorney would have helped my case, but no.)
Needless to say, I didn’t win. Here’s where to find the winners list.
And here are some non-inking entries from me:
Lawyers’ Offices: All parties who sign any contract are required to sign a second contract attesting to the fact that they read the first one.
Orthodox Jewish weddings & Bar Mitzvahs: Male dancers must be certified “capable of dancing without killing anyone” by an Orthodox rabbi, who himself has received such certification.
Figure skating jumps at the Olympics and other competitive events shall be limited to two rotations per jump.
Dining: Patrons may not sit near me at a restaurant without first signing a “spillage damage liability waiver.”
Elevators: No entry without breath mints.