Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FAN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 15, 2019)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PESTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PEST-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 16, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 15, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my FAN-rhyme limerick:

I have not shot a Glock, though I’ve played one.
(The “band” kind and NOT the “brigade one.”)
But I’m just not a fan
Of either. A ban
Would sound fine. There’s no need to parade one.

And here’s my PEST-themed limerick:

A nudnik is under arrest,
But as people are pleased to attest,
Despite plenty of flaws,
He would never break laws–
He’s just guilty of being a pest.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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111 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FAN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 15, 2019)”

  1. Michael Moulton says:

    When boxes arrive from various
    Places it’s rather nefarious,
    When also on board
    One finds a horde
    Of Cimex lec-tu-larius.

  2. Lisi Nortman says:

    A suggestion I’ve often expressed
    Is “Have some hot tea for a rest
    You must drink it before it
    Gets cold or just pour it
    On someone who’s bein’ a pest

  3. Jean McEwen says:

    He’s beloved by all bigots—a fan
    Not of immigrant kids, but the Klan.
    Countless cretins applaud
    Him; they view him as God.
    Can’t they see he’s a confidence man?

  4. Jean McEwen says:

    Settle down! It is only a roach!
    Just do this: As he makes his approach
    Up your thigh toward your tush.
    And then heads for your bush
    Grab the Raid Spray and dole out a dose!

  5. Lisi Nortman says:

    All us gals over 50 just ran
    To “Doc” Menopause who had a “plan”
    “At the front desk you wait
    And if you are late
    You’re prohibited use of the fan”

  6. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Olympic Surprise”

    Of Bruce Jenner I sure was a fan
    On the track, oh my gosh, how he ran
    Ev’ry jock he passed by
    And all this time I
    Didn’t know that he wasn’t a man

  7. Lisi Nortman says:

    Despite my attempts to protest
    Our divorce has now come to a rest
    The grounds were “a first”
    Yet they proved I’m “The Worst
    Annoying And God-awful Pest”

  8. Lisi Nortman says:

    Though their onset is not fully-known
    All those bed bugs emit a weird tone
    I have had them for years
    And they always bring tears
    Yet it’s soothing to not sleep alone

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Who thought of the words “Pest Control?”
    That term is so stupid and droll
    With these bugs I’m not thrilled
    And I just want them killed
    Overseeing them sure ain’t my role

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    Those robocalls drove me insane,
    It’s wise to treat them with disdain.
    I hang up, walk away
    And go on with my day,
    Not worth it to even complain.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    A small gift would be nice, I concurred,
    Something special to get my heart stirred.
    A lovely painted fan,
    An antique from Japan.
    But good diamonds are greatly preferred.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    Voting, aka pest control,
    The working system we extol.
    But votes disappear,
    It’s worse than we fear,
    We know of elections they stole.

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    correction! (L5)

    All us gals over 50 just ran
    To “Doc” Menopause, who had a plan:
    At the front desk please wait
    And if you are late
    You are banned from the use of the fan

  14. Kirk Miller says:

    Movie watcher, a guy named Dan,
    Views Bruce Willis films all he can.
    “You adore Bruce, but why?”
    I once asked. His reply:
    “‘Cause you see I’m a Die Hard fan.”

  15. Dave Johnson says:

    An airliner flushing its can
    Flew over a sports-loving man.
    While watching the game,
    Through his roof it all came;
    And that’s how the shit hit the fan.

    (True story – it happened during a Seahawks/Raiders game in 1992)

  16. Jesse Levy says:

    My wife does not seem to care
    If an insect flies in from out there
    If the cat brings a mouse up
    Well, that sends the spouse up
    In a chair where her shrieks fill the air!

  17. Jesse Levy says:

    I met an investment man
    Who told me that he had a plan
    Now my money’s tied up
    But I need it now! Yup.
    Of this man with a plan I’m no fan.

  18. Lisi Nortman says:

    I was sweating; could not feel the fan
    Just as hot as a big frying pan
    I was facing its back
    So I turned it and SMACK!
    (What a brilliant strategical plan)

  19. Trump turned his arse ‘way from the can
    to see if he could hit the fan.
    That was day three
    of his presidency
    and it’s since buried us where we stand.

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    The Donald gets votes where he can;
    He needs every sick, twisted fan.
    Many think them a pest.
    But the Donald – no jest –
    Says “There’s lotsa fine folks in the Klan.”

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    I cannot pretend I’m a fan
    Of American pizza, “deep-pan”.
    A good pizza must
    Have a fine, crispy crust
    Of the kind that you find in Milan.

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    I would rather devour an amoeba
    Than read stuff described as “vers libre”.
    As I once told a fan,
    “That’s a poem, my man?
    Then I am a blue-spotted zebra.”

    (The views expressed in this limerick are not necessarily the author’s. The off-rhyme, however, is.)

  23. Charles Mousseau says:

    “I’m sweltering on this divan;
    Swirl the air just as fast as you can!”,
    she begged of her friend,
    who declined in the end,
    with “I’m sorry, but I’m just not a fan”

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    In Hungary, taking a rest,
    A stranger annoyed me. I guessed:
    “You must be a Buda –
    I’ve met no one ruder!”
    “Well, no,” he replied, “I’m a Pest.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    Though Donald’s supporters lack wit,
    Though he grabs them by pussy and tit,
    And insults every fan,
    I still hope that this man
    Will be stunned when a fan hits the shit.

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Those Nasty Pests”

    Entomology quizzes for me
    Are real hard and I know you’ll agree
    I study all night
    To get ev’ry thing right
    But I always end up with a Bee

  27. Sharon Neeman says:

    Comely triplets named Ann, Fan and Jan
    To star on “Schitt’s Creek” had a plan:
    They’d play alternate days —
    But they had to find ways
    To show bruises when Schitt hit the Fan.

  28. Sharon Neeman says:

    Not the blood, not the frogs, not the lice,
    Nor wild beasts and diseases not nice,
    Could faze Pharaoh — but when
    He hit Plague #10,
    He grew weary of paying the price.

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh Honey, do not be a pest
    It is 7 AM and I’m stressed
    So PLEASE stop that talking
    Go out and start walking
    Then later, just bull shit the rest

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    “With Apologies To Yankee Fans”

    In the 50’s if you were a fan
    Of the Dodgers, the “Duke” was your man
    But one sunny day
    They all went to L.A.
    And the Met’s became “number 2 plan”

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Susie: Grade 2”

    The ants in my school are so vile
    Also creepy when in a big pile
    Yet they’re intres’ting creatures
    And very good teachers
    Cuz they taught us to walk single-file

  32. Tim Gray says:

    The song, “Stand by Your Man”,
    Has me as a huge fan.
    Though he feigns his scholastic,
    Which then seems as bombastic,
    Don does the best that he can.

  33. Tim Gray says:

    Sweltering, I switched on the fan,
    A cool nights sleep was my plan,
    But the fan switch just died,
    Should I go sleep outside?
    Mosquitoes? I don’t think I can!

  34. Tim Gray says:

    Of weekdays, I’m not a fan,
    Of weekends I certainly am.
    I can ride on my bike,
    I can do what I like,
    Or nothing, just ’cause I can.

  35. Tim Gray says:

    Cockroaches run round the house
    And in bed I just squashed a louse,
    My hair’s full of nits,
    I’m at the end of my wits,
    I need more than a DDT douse.

  36. Tim Gray says:

    You know those sorts of men
    Who annoy you again and again,
    Who don’t understand no
    And keep having a go?
    That’s my husband, that’s Ken.

  37. Tim Gray says:

    A coal-miner from West Aberfan
    Made his home in a small caravan
    He lived all alone
    In the van he called home
    Maybe ’cause of his coal-dust like tan?

  38. Mark G. Kane says:

    There’s a bit of a story around my Limerick Entry for my lovely wife Madeleine’s ‘Limerick-Off Contest’ this week.

    For this week’s contest I FIRST WROTE the following limerick:

    A fellow bragged he was the man
    To please her, if anyone can.
    He gave it his best.
    Her response, “Sir, you jest;
    You were only a flash in my pan.”

    My lovely wife Madeleine smiled, but then reminded me that I had used neither the rhyme word of FAN, nor the theme of PEST for this week.s contest. (Ut Oh. . . )

    She then suggested the following:

    A fellow bragged he was the man
    To please her, if anyone can.
    He gave it his best.
    Her response, “Sir, you PEST;
    You were only a flash in my pan.”

    I counter offered:

    She’d soon be a satisfied FAN;
    He’d please her, if anyone can.
    He gave it his best.
    Her response, “Sir, you jest;
    You were only a flash in my pan.”

    And then she suggested, why not COMBINE the two as a COMBO submission, and so I did just that. Enjoy!

    She’d soon be a satisfied FAN;
    He’d please her, if anyone can.
    He gave it his best.
    Her response, “Sir, you PEST;
    You were only a flash in my pan.”

  39. Steve Benko says:

    Though your editor may be a pest,
    She really does know what is best.
    For limericks work
    When there’s nary a quirk
    In the meter we call anapest.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Pest In The Bed”

    With pests that are big, you say “SHOO”
    But when they are small, that’s not true
    In our water bed we
    Thought there might be a flea
    When we noticed a tiny canoe

  41. Steve Benko says:

    “Be my Veep, for I’m such a big fan,”
    Papa Bush said one morning to Dan.
    “Though you can’t spell ‘potato,’
    I’m ordering NATO
    To tubers and broccoli ban.”

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    My friend Billy’s exceedingly smug
    And most of his statements I shrug
    He claimed he saw ants
    So would not “take a chance”
    And ride in my Volkswagen Bug

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    As the boss of this firm, I’m the best
    Here’s my mantra; you’ll be quite impressed:
    “This job ain’t much fun
    So to get the work done
    I must constantly be a big pest”

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    Even though my dear spouse did protest
    I must say that my novel’s the best
    He says “It’s not nice”
    Yet the title’s concise:
    “My Mother-In-Law Is A Pest”

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    (better L5)

    Who thought of the words “Pest Control?”
    I think they are laughingly droll
    With these bugs I’m not thrilled
    And I sure want them killed
    To govern them isn’t my role.

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick L5 I made a mistake

    Could you please change “To govern them just ain’t my role”
    to ” “To govern them isn’t my role”

    Thank You
    Lisi

    ****

    Done.

  47. Tim James says:

    I once knew a fellow named Riley
    Whose bosses regarded him highly.
    I thought him a pest
    ‘Cause of what he did best:
    Kissing management’s butts very slyly.

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    The nation of which I’m a fan
    Is the beautiful island: Japan
    When I arrived there the fuzz
    Told me Pearl Harbor was
    A fake news and fictional plan

  49. Brian Allgar says:

    A hooker called “Jolie Stéphane”
    Would stroll by the sea-front in Cannes.
    She greeted each sailor
    Who hoped he might nail her
    With “Bonjour, marin * – yes, you can.”

    * French for “Hello, sailor.”

  50. Sharon Neeman says:

    Two muggers named Spider and Bugs
    Needed money to pay for their drugs,
    So they ganged up on Flo —
    But did not find her dough
    (She had stashed it between her large jugs).

  51. Sharon Neeman says:

    An autograph-seeker named Stan
    To invade a star’s flat had a plan:
    He had come there, said he,
    “To replace your A/C” —
    Which made sense, because Stan was a fan.

  52. Roger Haugen says:

    The cops made a slew of arrests
    In notorious criminal nests;
    When asked why the fuss,
    The Chief said “That’s us–
    ‘We detest those pestiferous pests.”

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    Of this store I am such a big fan
    And I buy all the clothes that I can
    What’s ever on sale
    I’ll sure never fail
    To enact the superb “Marshall’s Plan”

  54. Tim Gray says:

    Why do I not like the man?
    Why do I say, “Not a fan”?
    There’s something about Donny
    That’s far from being bonny,
    That eludes my true “bonhomie” scan.

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    My “ex” was a fervent sports fan
    Even knew just how fast players ran
    But with all of that zeal
    Never cooked one damn meal
    This man couldn’t open a can

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    My “hub” is just one of those guys
    Who is smart and real clever and wise
    As per my requests
    He kills all the pests
    My sweetie is “Lord of our Flies”

  57. Tim James says:

    Miss Ivanka is not a big fan
    Of some fabrics of cotton. Her plan
    Is to not wear plain weaves.
    They’re proscribed, she believes,
    By her Daddy’s good-brained muslin ban.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    My wife screamed, “Do NOT have that fudge!
    Eat your salad. Just sit there. Don’t budge”
    Ev’ry day it’s the same
    And it’s such a damn shame
    That I married a “number one nudge”

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Hair Pests”

    There once was a gal name of Iris
    For Steve she was very desirous
    But he had bad head lice
    After kissing him twice
    She died from the “Bug In Hair Virus”

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: L5 of above limerick: should read She died from the “Bugs In Hair Virus”
    not She died from the “Bug In Hair Virus”
    Could you change that for me?

    Thank You,
    Lisi

  61. Daisy Ward says:

    Tom though he was just a loyal fan
    But was ask to be part of a band
    He shimmied and screamed
    Threw out chunks of ice cream
    Slipped” then fell on a microphone stand

    The nasty fly was a pests
    Flew around to make a new nests
    Landed hard when sprayed
    With a large can of raid
    “At first” thought it was some kind of tests

  62. Tim Gray says:

    Before the show they had an upheaval
    That laid low star Evel Knievel.
    It wasn’t a crash
    That caused the mad dash,
    But food infested with tiny black weevil.

  63. Tim Gray says:

    She was looking to spice up her show,
    Thought hard then shouted, “I know,
    I’ll dance with a fan,
    The sort you wave, not a man,
    And big, to cover… You know?”

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    Do you want to be right or be happy?
    The former will make your life crappy
    If your wife is a pest
    Then you’ve not passed this test
    And your marriage won’t work, my dear chappy

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Perpetual Pest”

    Don’t get married my friend; here’s a clue
    You will constantly be in a stew
    You can’t do as you please
    Cuz the problem is she’s
    Always tellin’ you just what to do

  66. Brian Allgar says:

    (Double)

    I bought and installed a big fan.
    “Keeps mosquitoes away”, said the man.
    They were false guarantees,
    For the pests loved the breeze,
    And the bloodsucking banquet began.

  67. Kirk Miller says:

    Plague of termites is having a ball
    Eating everything up. People call
    Every smart aleck pest
    By a name they suggest
    Is quite apt: It’s a big gnaw-it-all.

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    He said he got “fixed” What a man!
    (So handsome) I sure was his fan!
    But here is the rub
    I am now “in the club”
    Seems his method was “catch-as-catch-can”

    (For those who don’t know, “in the club” is slang for pregnant)

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    R un away, friend as quick as you can
    O n a very fast pace to your van
    A pest on the floor’s
    C irc’ling right near your door
    H e’s disgusting and sure not your fan

    acrostic

  70. Tim James says:

    Herb the gardener couldn’t abide
    That he got no sweet love from his bride.
    She hooked up with a man
    Who’s a big oral fan.
    Consequently, she tossed Herbicide.

  71. Lisi Nortman says:

    In these lim’riks I’ve noticed a man
    Will use any darn words that he can
    “Oral Sex” and the like
    Make my blood pressure spike
    “Oh my DAHLING please hand me that fan !!

  72. Tim Gray says:

    We have an infestation of mice,
    Understated, that’s not very nice,
    We bought in a cat
    That quickly got fat
    Then didn’t bother in looking twice.

  73. Tim Gray says:

    Of rats, we’ve also a plague.
    The number? I’m a bit vague,
    But all will be well
    With this guy William Tell,
    The Rat Catcher listed by Craig.

  74. Tim Gray says:

    There’s some people that you can’t trust,
    Who go out all rip, shit and bust…
    He got rid of the rats,
    The mice and fat cats.
    But the kids? Now we’re a little bit fussed.

  75. Tim Gray says:

    Hi Mad,

    Maybe that last one shouldn’t have the little in the last line?

    Cheers
    Tim

  76. Tim Gray says:

    I just realised I mixed up some stories, so…

    The Pied Piper’s name we don’t know.
    Could it be Tell? We say so,
    As one early fan
    Of the Pied Piper man
    Embellished the tale with cross-bow.

  77. Lisi Nortman says:

    A country of which I’m a fan
    Is that beautiful island: Japan
    But what’s with that flag?
    Oh, Man, what a drag!
    Did the designer just not have a plan?

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS! (meter)

    A country of which I’m a fan
    Is that beautiful island: Japan
    But what’s with that flag?
    Oh, Man! What a drag!
    Did that artist just not have a plan?

  79. John Edwards says:

    There was a young Mexican man,
    An avowed ladies’ underwear fan.
    To nurture his passion
    He imported French fashion;
    And now in Cancun there’s Can-Can.

  80. John Edwards says:

    A young ballroom dancer called Dan
    Was a Latin-American fan.
    At the rumba or tango
    You could see that fan Dan go.
    An expert terpsichorean.

  81. John Edwards says:

    A charming young lady from Cannes
    Did an exotic dance for a man.
    She had him in fits
    Trying to cover her bits.
    Poor girl had only one fan.

  82. John Edwards says:

    A young ballroom dancer called Dan
    Was a Latin-American fan.
    At the rumba or tango
    You could see that fan Dan go.
    And where Dan goes, the tango’s the plan.

  83. John Edwards says:

    The old man said, “I need a rest.”
    His wife said, “You tired old pest!”
    You’re driving me crazy
    Because you’re so lazy.
    I’ve seen more life in a tramp’s vest.”

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Tenmusu” (rice balls with shrimp)

    Of tenmusu we sure were a fan
    And to “Masa” (Manhattan) we ran
    But the service was slow
    Cuz we just didn’t know
    That the meals were all “Made In Japan”

  85. John Edwards says:

    :
    The old man said, “I need a rest.”
    His wife said, “You tired old pest!
    You’re driving me crazy
    Because you’re so lazy.
    There’s more life inside a tramp’s vest.”

  86. John Edwards says:

    :
    As I sat with Mae West, drinking tea,
    On her bosom there landed a bee.
    I said, “Look out Miss West,
    There’s a pest on your chest!”
    She said, “Beulah, remove it for me.”

  87. Brian Allgar says:

    Said an angry, disgruntled ex-fan:
    “That swamp-draining promise? Oh, man!
    Instead of de-pested,
    The swamp’s more infested
    Than even the day you began!”

  88. Amazzing says:

    The missing candidate Joe Biden;
    Was finally forced out of hidin’;
    A decades long Catholic man,
    He’s now a pro-abortion fan,
    With Kermit Gosnell he’s now sidin’.

  89. Lisi Nortman says:

    How sweet the melodious chants
    That are crooned by the bugs in our plants
    On our charming new deck
    Which one time was a wreck
    Now repaired by our carpenter ants

  90. Amazzing says:

    Most people think fungus a pest;
    AOC thinks mushrooms are best;
    It will likely end tragic,
    Wanting to study their magic,
    Will likely end her socialist quest.

  91. Steve Benko says:

    “Those Soviet pests,” declared Tito,
    “Buzz around like some kind of mosquito.
    Though we’re not very big,
    When they zag we can zig;
    We’re as feisty as Danny DeVito.”

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh my gosh! There’s a spider! No doubt!
    Just so fast! as it’s crawling about!
    It sure isn’t itsy
    And clearly not bitsy
    And simply too big for the spout

  93. Valerie Fish says:

    This phobia, I’ve had it for years
    I’ve been told I should face my fears
    But try as I might
    I have to take flight
    Each time Incy Wincy appears

  94. Valerie Fish says:

    I enter as oft as I can
    This week, flattery’s my game plan
    Mad’s humour and wit
    For me’s a big hit
    I must be her number one fan

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Big Acrostic Pest”

    P atricia’s annoying as heck
    E v’ry day she’s a pain in the neck
    S he says that I’m lazy
    K nows she’s driving me crazy
    Y es Siree! I’m a broken down wreck

  96. Lisi Nortman says:

    (Fan and Pest)

    “Buster Keaton”

    Way back when, he was everyone’s fan
    In vaudeville is where he began
    He was clearly unique
    In most films didn’t speak
    His expressions were often “deadpan”

    In comedy he was the best
    With his acting the folks were impressed
    Ms. Conchita was hot
    Made him fall off his yacht
    When he starred in “The Pest Of The West”

  97. Amazzing says:

    “One percenter” Beto is a peculiarity;
    Not in money, but In popularity;
    So far in Iowa he has only one fan,
    But that’s one more than the de Blasio man,
    And even one fan for both has to be charity.

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    Near my bed was a cockroach, (behind it)
    I took out a flashlight and shined it
    Saw it move all about
    But then I freaked out
    Cuz suddenly I couldn’t find it

  99. Lisi Nortman says:

    Dearest Michael, I’ve kept this suppressed
    But it’s finally time you knew best
    Here’s some good sound advice
    I shall be quite precise
    So please do not think me a pest!

    Here’s our “sex talk” so son listen please!
    God forbid you should get a disease!
    As a child I was stung
    When I stuck out my tongue
    You may kiss all the birds, not the bees.

  100. Steve Benko says:

    “Cleopatra, your face we shall fan,”
    Said the handmaidens, “That’s today’s plan.
    And your hair we will comb
    As the doings in Rome
    You keep track of with Marc on C-Span.”

  101. Amazzing says:

    “Overwhelm Trump” the Democrats bemoan;
    “It’s too bad Barrack we cannot clone;”
    It’s difficult to be a fan,
    Of such an elite clan,
    When their best candidates are from a nursing home.

  102. Amazzing says:

    Elizabeth Warren-
    Would be far less borin’
    If she could muster,
    Proof she beat Custer,
    Her supporters wouldn’t be left snorin’

  103. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A true story. On thinking one had found a fellow G&S enthusiast:

    The ticket evoked old Japan:
    A geisha it showed, with a fan.
    “ ‘The Mikado’! The best!”
    The judge said, “Good jest.
    Puccini. La Scala, Milan.”

  104. Fred Bortz says:

    On feet sore from bone spurs, he ran
    From that war. (He was never a fan.)
    An excuse, finely crafted,
    Meant Trump wasn’t drafted,
    And taught him that lies make the man.

  105. DAVID FRIEDMAN says:

    A giant condenser named Stan
    In the Home Depot called to a man:
    “Please don’t deny me
    And tell them you’ll buy be
    And I will be your biggest fan!”

  106. DAVID FRIEDMAN says:

    There once was a young roach named Steve
    Checked in a motel one warm eve
    The desk clerk, Don Henley
    Said “Round here we’re friendly,
    You can check out but you cannot leave.”

  107. DAVID FRIEDMAN says:

    An ambulatory young roach
    Said, to his friend’s stern reproach,
    “I know I can fly
    But you know that I
    Can’t stand those gross people in coach.”

  108. DAVID FRIEDMAN says:

    Life’s like the blade of a fan:
    We move round as fast as we can,
    We try to be chill
    But do what we will
    We end up right where we began.

  109. Fred Bortz says:

    The schoolboy’s Mom told him, “Be nice!”
    Which is usually quite sound advice.
    But things weren’t so rosy
    When he got too cozy,
    Contracting a head full of lice.

  110. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Fan” and “Pest” (an extended version of a previous limerick)

    The country of which I’m a fan
    Is that beautiful island: Japan
    But what’s with that flag?
    It is surely a drag
    Did the artist just not have a plan?

    “Kindergarten Activity”

    The parents won’t call them a pest
    Now so proud that their kids passed this test:
    They must first take a pencil
    And circle a stencil
    Then schmear in red paint. Time for “rest”

  111. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 324. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Loot.

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