Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Hear/Here/Adhere at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Hear/Here/Adhere at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Temptation, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Temptation-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 30, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 29, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Our boss has been fired. Hear, hear!
And nobody’s shedding a tear.
Seems adhering to rules
Is (to him) just for fools,
So he leered at the wrong lady’s rear.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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104 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Hear/Here/Adhere at the end of any one line”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Nixon’s lies were all perfectly clear;
    Dubya fed all of us a bum steer.
    Trump says Russian collusion
    Is a fake news illusion.
    Can we ever believe what we hear?

  2. Marty Gerendasy says:

    It’s been many a dry, thirsty year
    Since the doc said to give up the beer.
    It takes strict concentration
    To resist the temptation,
    But I have no choice but to adhere.

  3. Ken Gosse says:

    Silently the Acorn Fell ~
    The wise old man said not a word,
    But just sat in the tree, like a bird.
    Yet, once tempted, he spoke,
    And his words split the oak.
    Sad to say, when it fell, no one heard.

  4. kirkmiller says:

    For three million bucks he insured her.
    To die really soon he preferred her.
    Man’s enticed to kill,
    But he never will.
    Got arrested for a tempted murder.

  5. Ken Gosse says:

    A Sticky Situation ~
    As for rules, he wouldn’t adhere,
    So the board members, all in good cheer,
    Said again, “One last time–
    Take your seat! Be a mime.”
    The Gorilla Glue stuck to his rear.

  6. Kirk Miller says:

    There’s a soft drink that people say stokes them.
    Don’t withhold The Real Thing; it provokes them.
    You should know that for sure
    They are easy to lure.
    All it takes is a bottle to Cokes them.

  7. Ken Gosse says:

    Learily We Rhyme Along ~
    Though often we’ll say, “Far and near,”
    We don’t use the phrase, “There and here,”
    But Limericks are tempted
    To be rule-exempted–
    The best case in point, Edward Lear.

  8. Ken Gosse says:

    Bigly Bubbles ~
    If you sing this out-loud, you may hear
    Barcaroles from your dream’s gondolier,
    Or the Lorelei’s song
    Whilst your Muse sings along–
    That is, if you’ve had enough beer.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    “Believe me, I’m really sincere;
    The day for some action is here.
    Them nukes that we’ve placed
    Are just going to waste,
    So I’m gonna take out North Korea.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    Alcoholic for many a year,
    He had given up drinking, I hear,
    In the hope he could choose
    A long life over booze,
    But he still ended up on the bier.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    This clingfilm is useless, I fear.
    It will stick to itself, that is clear;
    To my fingers it’s glued,
    But to plates full of food
    The stuff simply will not adhere.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    Oscar Wilde, though bent on predation,
    Coined many a witty quotation.
    As young Bosie he kissed,
    He said “I can resist
    All the vices, except for temptation.”

  13. Richard Campbell says:

    [punctuation edit]

    Her assets were clearly defined,
    And to miss them I’d have to be blind.
    “Could I tempt you, my pet?
    A night not to forget?”
    The Mace was a clue she’d declined.

  14. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Ode to World Champion Chicago Cubs:

    No more reason to cry in our beer,
    Or to keep saying “wait ’til next year.”
    We’ve been saying “just wait”
    Since nineteen and oh eight,
    But at last, next year’s finally here!

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    A horror is happening here.
    To see it, we don’t need a seer.
    Trump is a disaster,
    A brilliant con master.
    A tragedy out of Shakespeare.

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    She thought of his strong, handsome face,
    That hard body she longed to embrace.
    Since it was in her mind,
    She just grabbed his behind,
    And quickly, she cut to the chase.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    Said the General, “Come, looky here!
    Trump wants this, so all, lend an ear!
    We’ve got this huge bomb,
    And he has no qualm.
    We’ll make their damn land disappear.”

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    I’ve no morals to which I adhere..
    With me, you’ve got nothing to fear.
    So yield to temptation,
    I’ll bring you elation,
    First, “Have some Madiera, m’dear!”

  19. Marty Gerendasy says:

    With a wink and a smile, he said “Dear,
    Don’t be nervous, come on over here.”
    He was one of those guys
    Gals avoid if they’re wise,
    ‘Cause that sweet smile was really a leer.

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    On a tour of St. Peter’s in Rome,
    Van Gogh told the guide in the Dome:
    “Roman friend, I can’t hear;
    Could you lend me your ear?
    I seem to have left mine at home.”

  21. Neil Hood says:

    Whilst looking for a rental space clear
    I oft asked myself “Could I live here?”
    No answer could I hear
    So called gazetteer
    And pled “Can I place an ad here?”

  22. Jesse Levy says:

    There’s something I want you to hear.
    It’s bad, but please have no fear.
    The Russians are coming
    It’s completely mind-numbing
    And it gives me some fierce diarrhea.

  23. Ryan Tilley says:

    The Arrival

    My Alexa is finally here.
    She can answer my questions with cheer
    And her limericks bite
    With a meter that’s tight,
    But I use her to order a beer!

  24. Frank Hubeny says:

    Since my brain isn’t frightfully clear
    And I listen to less than I hear
    And this limerick’s got
    Nary reason nor plot,
    If I post it will it disappear?

  25. Frank Hubeny says:

    I am tempted to think you are right
    Though I know you are not very bright
    And you might be as wrong
    As your tall tale is long
    Which convinced me to stay here tonight.

  26. Hear! Hear! I am here and adhere
    to the principle all Trumpites cheer:
    Make things great for the white
    till old passions ignite
    and our ear-to-ear grins disappear!

  27. Like Wilde, I’m beguiled by temptation.
    Like Twain, I can’t claim an exemption.
    A desirous bust?
    What good Christians call “lust”
    is my heaven, my bliss, my salvation!

  28. Ken Gosse says:

    from One-Hundred and One Tales of a Dark, Stormy Knight
    I Can’t Hear You Now ~
    There once was a dark, stormy Knight,
    Who so vowed to adhere to what’s right,
    That he cut off his ear
    Being tempted to hear
    Bawdy tales by the campfire’s light.

  29. He thought he left his whiskey right here
    but now it seems to have left him, oh dear
    he is really quite cross
    to suffer such a loss
    now he’ll have to open another one I fear.

  30. Jesse Frankovich says:

    Richard’s doctor, quite shocked, said, “Oh, dear!
    There’s a burrowing rodent in here!
    And to make matters worse,
    It won’t move in reverse.
    Seems the gerbil is stuck in this Gere.”

  31. Judith H. Block says:

    Temptation’s out there and in here,
    I’m obsessed, my lust won’t disappear.
    I’m yearning all day,
    In my fantasies, play.
    Will I finally yield, it’s not clear.

  32. Judith H. Block says:

    There once was a guy without peer,
    Who drove his gal wild, so I hear.
    With his tongue, very skilled,
    All her needs were fulfilled.
    And I don’t mean he tickled her ear.

  33. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A young fella whose last name was Lear
    Told his girl what he thought she should hear.
    But his words were too bold,
    So by her he was told
    To go take a walk off a short pier.

  34. Sharon Neeman says:

    I look back with extreme consternation
    At this Passover week of temptation:
    Not the matza so dry,
    But the brei and the fry
    Have subjected my weight to inflation!

  35. Sharon Neeman says:

    Oh, darn, Madeleine, please change “great” to “extreme” in the first line of the above? Thanks!

    *****

    From MBK: Done.

  36. Kay Davies says:

    Hear hear, to the rules I adhere
    When writing to Madeleine, here,
    Her rhymes are all great…
    Mine, usually late,
    But it’s Monday so I myself cheer!

  37. There once was a poet named Lear
    Who invented the verse form used here
    In our more modern times
    They’d be called lazy rhymes
    From that crazy old poet named Lear.

    (It drives me up the wall, but if you’re familiar with Edward Lear’s limericks, you’ll see why I did it this way.)

  38. Sharon Neeman says:

    There are places where folks live in fear
    If they’re foreign-born, female, or queer,
    If they’re overly browned
    Or their eyes are not round —
    But, of course, that could not happen here.

  39. Mike Wisor says:

    It’s the end of our freedom I fear
    When we protest no one seems to hear.
    Can we save what we’ve got
    Should we give it a shot
    Or just shrug and go drink a cold beer

  40. Brian Allgar says:

    Now that Bannon is out on his ear,
    Trump misses his old puppeteer.
    He stumbles and fumbles
    And grumbles and mumbles –
    His words simply fail to cohere.

    (It’s not yet true that Bannon is entirely out, but here’s hoping.)

  41. I have a striking rear
    But my breasts are decidedly meer
    My date walked out
    Because no doubt
    The falsies did not adhere

  42. Lonni Chu says:

    The new field Data Science is here,
    It helps model mass outcomes I swear
    with advertisements you’ll find
    to be craftily designed
    to predict your decisions beware

    Anticipating decisions is inclined
    to be of a marketing mind
    but its ‘cuz human nature
    and money I’d wager
    that leads where not usually aligned

  43. Byron Ives says:

    This beef roast I bought from Premier
    (I’m told it’s the best around here),
    Is stringy and tough,
    And I’ve had enough
    I think it was just a bum steer

  44. Sharon Neeman says:

    “The casino,” she said, “will be fun;
    I could just play one round and be done…”
    And she won — thirty grand! —
    But lost all, the next hand.
    That’s temptation. You can’t stop at “won.”

  45. Jesse Frankovich says:

    Said the Hollywood surgeon, “Come here,
    And I’ll make all your flaws disappear.
    I can tighten your skin,
    Fix your nose and your chin,
    Tuck that tummy, and bring up the rear.”

  46. Ken Gosse says:

    I Don’t Get No Respect (Rodney Dangerfield) ~
    I am tempted to write The Great Limerick,
    A panegyric to me, or a hymnrick,
    Except for the fear,
    That you peons who hear
    Would abase my true paen as dim’rick

  47. Sharon Neeman says:

    Up north in Toronto, I hear,
    They’ve invented a drink that brings cheer.
    I would totally hail
    This brand-new “Fake News Ale”…
    But, alas, MBK detests beer.

  48. Jesse Frankovich says:

    Go on, leave, get the heck out of here!
    Scoot, skedaddle, scram, split, disappear!
    Hit the road, get lost, make
    Yourself scarce, or else take
    A long walk off a short sort of pier!

  49. Val Fish says:

    I’m desperately trying to diet
    But forever ‘dying to try it’
    When a cream cake cries ‘Eat me!’
    Temptation defeats me
    What the heck, I just have to buy it

  50. I have a sizable rear
    But my boobs are decidedly mear
    My date walked out
    Because no doubt
    The falsies did not adhere

  51. We went to the deli for a schmear
    Of lox, bagels, and kosher beer
    The waitress was nice
    I got an extra slice
    She said “Y’all come back, ya hear?”

  52. I love chocolate mousse
    Combined with a sugary juice
    But I’m as fat
    As a white tabby cat
    I’ll explode if I don’t reduce !!!!!

  53. Val Fish says:

    Temptation’s a terrible thing
    I can’t let that old devil win
    Must try harder
    To curb my ardour
    The trouble I’ve got myself in!

  54. Tim James says:

    “What’s a lim’rick?” I asked, not quite clear
    On the form or its rules. ‘Twould appear
    It’s a verse of five lines
    Wrought by dark, twisted minds —
    Which I gathered by hanging out here.

    ;)

  55. As I’m writing this limerick verse
    I’m aware of this double-edged curse
    Since all I can hear
    Is the worm in my ear,
    Also known as a poet’s vice vers

  56. TEMPTATION

    At my reunion I looked for Al
    He was my true love and very best pal
    His wife named Claire
    Gave me a wicked stare
    I think I’ll go and chat with Sal

  57. Byron Ives says:

    I ate the left over chow mein
    And the last piece of ham quiche lorraine
    I downed all that shit
    Just to make sure that it
    Would nevermore tempt me again

  58. Byron Ives says:

    She was tempted to deep throat Abdul
    And found he was built like a mule
    But now she won’t talk
    ‘Bout the size of his cock –
    She always invokes the gag rule

  59. Chris Gross says:

    In the “temptation” category. It’s a stretch for the topic, but it’s got great meter!! ;^)

    Went to Denver and found I could buy
    Marijuana. I gave it a try.
    While you might not agree
    With pot-smoking decree,
    The new sales are incredibly high.

  60. Jesse Frankovich says:

    I’ve a terribly strong inclination
    To succumb to the slightest temptation.
    Whether booty or booze,
    I’m too weak to refuse—
    I’m a sucker for tantalization!

  61. Sharon Neeman says:

    Fridge failure limerick:

    The Press ‘n’ Seal didn’t adhere;
    The soup spilled all over; I fear
    That it splashed the pressed duck,
    And except for “Oh, {fiddlesticks}!,”
    I haven’t a thing to add here.

  62. Sharon Neeman says:

    How hard can this be — knit and purl?
    I’m tempted to give it a whirl…
    But I know I’ll produce
    Something fit for a moose,
    And not for a human-type girl.

  63. Jesse Frankovich says:

    “Set aside your contentiousness, dear.”
    “But—” “No buts. I do not want to hear
    Your perpetual pleading.
    Instead, try conceding;
    Don’t fight. I’m your wife—just revere.”

  64. Randy Wagner says:

    When Athos and Porthos and Aramis
    Seek pleasure, they’ll ravish a merry miss.
    A good musketeer
    To their code must adhere.
    If they fail with the ladies, then they’re remiss.

  65. Ken Gosse says:

    Longful Advantage — A Stretched Limerzine ~
    Although body and face were from other beaus,
    The language was certainly Cyrano’s,
    Which he knew, once she’d hear
    She would draw him quite near,
    Whence his nose knows the place where it always goes.

  66. Ted Hayes says:

    A promise that’s made should be clear,
    to which one should always adhere.
    But I hear the word ‘wall’
    and the Mex paying all.
    That’s a lie, not a promise, I fear.

  67. Sharon Neeman says:

    “My temptation is chocolate,” said she,
    “All the kinds that are not sugar-free.
    Be it Hershey’s or Reese’s,
    I love them to pieces…
    But they — can’t you see? — don’t love me.”

  68. Ken Gosse says:

    Horton Heard a What? ~
    When Horton thought he heard a cheer,
    It sounded far off, and not near,
    But when he turned around
    And sat down on the ground,
    He heard “Move over there—Don’t sit Here!”
    [based on Horton Hears a Who, Dr. Seuss, August 1954]

  69. Ken Gosse says:

    Retirement: The Last Resting Place ~
    The Great Hope of my anticipation
    Is a terminal, finite vacation,
    For I’ve worked too long here;
    But once death has drawn near,
    I’ll be working in Hell’s conflagration.

  70. A healer I saw on TV
    Could heal by a simple decree
    He’s a man without peer
    He would make the blind hear
    And would also cause deaf men to see.

  71. Byron Ives says:

    He pleaded, “Don’t leave me, I’ll miss you!
    I’ll buy you new clothes. Let me kiss you.
    A mini? A maxi?
    Please, don’t call that taxi!”
    She frowned, “You’re just skirting the issue.”

  72. Dave Johnson says:

    “Now let me be perfectly clear…”
    Is something we don’t need to hear.
    Like gathering fog,
    It’s the start of a slog
    Where facts and the truth disappear.

  73. Dave Johnson says:

    A rancher’s hot daughter from Brewster
    Was swayed when a cowboy seduced her.
    They rolled in the hay,
    Then he went on his way;
    The only cock left was a rooster.

  74. David Reddekopp says:

    Because Adam and Eve had been tempted
    Then in Eden their stay was pre-empted
    But since neither one had
    Known of good or of bad
    From their sentence they should be exempted.

  75. A man who desired a cold beer
    Yelled “Wife! Quick! Bring it here!”
    In the subsequent trial,
    Said the judge, with a smile,
    “Justifiable homicide, loud and clear!”

  76. David Reddekopp says:

    It appears that I’ve never eschewed
    A temptation to eat any food
    So it’s no surprise that
    I’ve become so damn fat
    I’m a sight for sore eyes in the nude.

  77. THE CHEESE CAKE DILEMMA

    There it was on the table
    Was I entirely able?
    I sprayed it with Raid
    I’m on a crusade
    So I settled for lox and bagel

  78. I want to — but really, I shouldn’t.
    I oughtn’t. Believe me, I wouldn’t.
    I mustn’t. I can’t;
    No, I certainly shan’t…
    (I just did it). How could I? I couldn’t.

  79. “Eat this apple,” encouraged the Snake;
    “It’s a boring Commandment to break,
    But believe me, my dears —
    In a few thousand years,
    You’ll be sinning with chocolate cake!”

  80. He stared at the sign. YOU ARE HERE,
    Said the map.
                Then he started in fear,
    As the words by the dot
    Changed to: NO, YOU ARE NOT.
    Not a soul saw the man disappear.

  81. Chris Gross says:

    Do haikus count? Here’s one that could be construed as “temptation”:

    Bowling Alley scene:
    Hot chick on lane number two!
    Mind in the gutter . . .

    *****

    From MBK: No, but I like it. :)

  82. Tim James says:

    St. Augustine started to pray
    When he saw a fine babe on display.
    “Fornication’s a sin;
    But that bod, for the win!
    Make me chaste, Lord — just, please, not today.”

  83. Dave Johnson says:

    FOX News internal memo:

    You ladies have nothing to fear;
    O’Reilly is no longer here.
    Now Roger and Bill
    Have been fired, but still –
    Looking sexy will help your career.

  84. Kathleen Bartoletti says:

    From far beyond the Earth’s atmosphere
    Ed was tempted to moon our blue sphere;
    But he could not bare all
    (The space ship was too small),
    And he had far too big of a rear.

  85. Joel Kravitz says:

    There was a failure in communication,
    And things lived down to your expectation.
    You made things perfectly clear
    But it didn’t adhere….
    Now you’re stuck with a sticky situation.

  86. Joel Kravitz says:

    Sexual relationship rules are unclear.
    So, depending on the atmosphere,
    Letting her have her way
    Can lead to foreplay….
    And that’s a rule to which you’ll gladly adhere.

  87. Joel Kravitz says:

    “Get your drunk stupid ass over here!”
    Are words never pleasant to hear.
    But if she wears the pants,
    You endure the rants….
    And keep coming home stinking of beer!

  88. Dave Johnson says:

    When asked “What’s the life that you led?”
    “I was a Temptation.” he said.
    Way up in the sky
    With a voice from on high,
    Eddie Kendricks is knocking ’em dead.

  89. Byron Ives says:

    She flashed ample cleavage to Keith
    And he longed for what beckoned beneath
    Then a look from his wife,
    Convinced him that life
    Would be much more pleasant with teeth

  90. Randy Wagner says:

    In response to Ken Gosse’s nosey Cyrano limerick:

    If ever a gal ventured near a nose
    That kindled desire ‘twould be Cyrano’s.
    Its tempting immensity
    Wreaks wanton intensity.
    Ask Mira the trollop since Mira knows.

  91. Ted Hayes says:

    Conflict of Interest?

    Ivanka is such a sweet dear!
    But to c.o.i? she just won’t adhere.
    So a whisper to Jin Ping,
    “Sell my goods in Beijing,
    or I’ll tell Daddy to nuke North Korea.”

  92. Byron Ives says:

    He met her outside Charlottesville
    And was tempted to wed her, until,
    He learned she made whiskey
    And thought it too risky
    But thought that he might love her still

  93. I heard on the news, I swear
    But I certainly have no fear
    California is leaving
    But I’m certainly not grieving
    My “EX” will no longer be here

  94. Dave Johnson says:

    Temptation is such a good thing;
    More tequila to give it that zing.
    Let’s have one more round
    For these new friends I found;
    Now drunk on my ass, I can sing!

  95. ASSISTED LIVING DILEMMA

    At “Sunrise” few can hear
    Body breakdown affects the ear
    Someone said Claire’s a looker
    But thought she said hooker
    And made known she must disappear

  96. Fred Bortz says:

    IF NIXON SPOKE IN LIMERICKS (a two-fer)

    Let me make something perfectly clear,
    Your Prez to the rules does adhere,
    Strictly follows the book,
    I am thus not a crook.
    Don’t believe everything that you hear.

    Blame Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Dean.
    Those staffers were never quite clean.
    And burglars, third rate,
    Tried to bug Watergate
    When the Democrats weren’t on the scene.

    Liddy and Hunt, you’re so funny
    To claim that I offered hush money.
    It was Colson’s instruction
    That led to obstruction
    Of justice. Ask Pat. (She’s my honey.)

    Some think I gave in to temptation,
    To a chance for a grand demonstration
    Of electoral strength,
    So I’d go any length
    To win every state in the nation.

    I’m caught in a very big scandal
    That may snuff out the flame of my candle.
    Yes, it feels like I’m cursed.
    I’ll prepare for the worst.
    Will this one be too hot to handle?

  97. Ted Hayes says:

    Johnny Mac really had it down pat,
    when he said “that crazy fat kid’s a rat.”
    But there’s one thing not clear,
    for from all that I hear
    The Donald’s not especially fat!

  98. NOT A DUPLICATE

    Assisted Living Dilemma

    At “Sunrise” few people can hear
    Body breakdown affects the ear
    Someone said Clair’s a looker
    Someone else thought she said hooker
    And made it known she must now dissapear

  99. I’m so glad you’re here!
    You are looking marvelous, my dear
    I love those wedgies
    You’ve been eating your VEGGIES!!!!
    I noticed your cauliflower ear

  100. I’m so glad you’re here
    You are looking marvelous, my dear
    I have to say
    You seem so gay !!!
    With that flower in your ear

  101. My glasses were right here !!!
    How could they disappear?
    I looked all around
    (They are light brown)
    “They’re on you head, my dear”

  102. Lisi Nortman Ardissone says:

    Mad:

    Please change one word for me

    I SEE your cauliflower ear

    Thank You

    From MBK: That change would worsen the meter, so I haven’t made it.

  103. NOT A DUPLICATE

    My glasses were right here !!
    How could they disappear?
    I looked UP AND DOWN
    (They were light brown)
    ” They’re on your head, my dear”

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