Limerick Outing (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman would often go out…*

or

A fellow was going all out…*

or

A woman was throwing things out…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Outing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman would often go out
With a sad-sack who’d grimace and pout.
When her friends warned that “he’s
A wet blanket and sleaze,”
She said, “Date-wise I’m having a drought.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Tags: , , , , , ,

75 Responses to “Limerick Outing (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Sancho Panza says:

    A fellow was going all out
    To woo a pretty girl scout.
    “I’ll buy some of the cookies
    In exchange for some nooky…”
    But left her with one up the spout.

  2. A woman was throwing things out
    When her husband gave a loud shout.
    “I’m happy enough
    That you’re chucking out stuff
    But my moose heads i can’t live without!”

  3. kaykuala says:

    A woman would often go out…
    For friends she had seen not
    Long time longing
    For those missing
    Friendships were long sought

    Hank

  4. John Sardo says:

    A woman who’d suffered some blows
    From a very long list of beaux,
    Took revenge on each suitor
    By threatening to neuter.
    So each his love now bestows.

  5. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who frequently blows
    Off each gal whose charm she bestows.
    He’s no doubt a big lout
    For each conquest he’d flout.
    Fell victim to the gals quid pro quos.

  6. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who’d just come to blows
    Gave his wife a mean bloody nose.
    He’s a terrible lout
    A GOPer no doubt
    Whose running for Senate in the snows.

  7. Kirk Miller says:

    I heard bells Christmas Eve and looked out.
    Santa’s reindeer were flying about.
    They had bells ’round their necks
    Because Santa expects
    Bells to be quite a-pealing, no doubt.

  8. Kirk Miller says:

    Of his favorite dog food we’re out.
    With disdain, dog will raise high his snout.
    When I go to the store,
    I will buy ten cans more.
    Until then, he will just doo without.

  9. Kirk Miller says:

    When he pops up, decides to come out,
    The ground hog does carry some clout
    Warm weather or snow?
    We all want to know
    Beyond a “shadow” of a doubt.

  10. Kirk Miller says:

    From the Bible a page did fall out.
    Many days the monk searched all about.
    A look of surprise
    Was shown in his eyes
    When ’twas found. “Holy sheet!” he did shout.

  11. Chris Papa says:

    Two teenagers on date went out,
    Enjoyed sex, of that there’s no doubt,
    Protection was spurned,
    So they quickly learned,
    What parenting was all about.

  12. Kirk Miller says:

    Many members decide to go out
    To the pen pals convention. No doubt
    Though the gathering’s good,
    Be much better, it could.
    It is nothing to write home about.

  13. Kirk Miller says:

    The yacht maker’s sending some mail out
    For money, in hopes he can sail out
    Of trouble. He’s thinking,
    With finances sinking,
    He had to request a bail out.

  14. Kirk Miller says:

    As slowly they soar in and out
    Of canyons, black birds tend to shout
    About what’s down below,
    And we soon come to know
    Just what they are raven about.

  15. Kirk Miller says:

    Politicians are duking it out.
    I don’t see what the fuss is about.
    When they speak, I will smirk
    ‘Cause they sound quite berserk.
    They don’t know what they’re talking about.

  16. scott says:

    a woman was throwing things out
    leftovers forgotten about
    a strange purple treat
    blue mystery meat
    and something that’s started to sprout

  17. gary hallock says:

    A woman was throwing things out
    Some of them were heavy, no doubt
    Result? Yes, alack!
    What went out was her back
    Too bad that she wasn’t more stout

  18. Diane Groothuis says:

    A prostitute liked to go out
    By a long and circuitous route.
    Down wild paths she’d meander
    Then stop and philander
    With any old boot-scootin tout.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was going all out
    With gifts for his love, there’s no doubt!
    But his taste is bad,
    It really is sad.
    If I were her, I would bailout.

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was throwing things out
    To charities, really- no doubt!
    Though not worn for years,
    She was right in her fears!
    They were the new fashion break-out!

  21. Fred Bortz says:

    A woman was throwing things out
    And replied when asked, “What’s this about?”
    “I’ve become quite obese.
    I have no use for these
    That I wore when I merely was stout.”

  22. Errol Nimbly says:

    Our captain appears to be out
    Of the closet without any doubt.
    From high up in the rigging,
    I spotted him frigging
    The cabin boy coming about.

  23. Errol Nimbly says:

    Madeleine, would you mind replacing my original with this revision? Please and Thank you.

    Our captain appears to be out
    Of the closet without any doubt.
    From high up in the rigging,
    I spotted him frigging
    The cabin boy coming about.

    Note from Mad Kane: Done!

  24. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman would often go out
    to enter an arm-wrestling bout
    She used Dynamic Tension
    and, oh, did I mention?
    She frequently won in a rout.

  25. Rich D says:

    A fellow who had pulled it out
    was proud of it, there be no doubt
    But sadly for him
    going out on that limb
    it’s nothing to write home about

  26. Mark Kane says:

    A husband one night, sneaking out,
    Was met by his wife’s pensive pout.
    She was warning her “Dear”
    How he acts with strong beer,
    And how stout only makes him feel stout.

  27. Rich D says:

    John was in a mood, acting out
    but didn’t want to seem a lout
    his comic tom-foolery
    about rattling some jewelry
    was an intro to play “Twist and Shout!”

    (the semi-obligatory and periodic Beatles reference limerick)

  28. Rich D says:

    I finally popped my head out
    after months of lurking about
    a couple of rhymes
    with dubious times
    or meter is all I can tout :)

  29. Don says:

    A fellow was going all out
    to avoid getting into a rout
    when finally he said
    enough is enough
    and his clout left there be no doubt

  30. Fred Bortz says:

    The woman refused to put out
    For her date, who asked, “What’s that about?”
    She replied, “It’s your stuff.
    It’s not nearly enough
    Seeing you in the buff leaves no doubt.”

  31. Rich D says:

    A lad with a most porcine snout
    attended a pro boxing bout
    A fighter quite big
    said “squeal, Mr. Pig”
    so he uttered a Ned Beatty shout!

  32. Rich D says:

    *** when reading the previous limerick, please correct the spelling of the final word on the first line. it should be “porcine” and not “procine” ***

    Not from Mad Kane: Done!

  33. Andy Sewina says:

    Dead good Mad, love the way you wrote this. Happy New Year!

  34. Andy Sewina says:

    MOYES
    A fellow was going all out
    To beat Swansea City no doubt
    No FA Cup fun
    Because Swansea won
    Uni-ted had nothing to shout

  35. rbasler says:

    This German would often go out
    For sausage and strong sauerkraut
    His wife was well-versed
    In the smell, “It’s der WURST!
    “Period, ampersand und umlaut!”

  36. Jen Harris says:

    Key and Peele have been listed as out
    If they’d chosen that, I’ve no doubt
    Flamboyant and free
    And for all to see
    Proudly from rooftops they’d shout.

  37. jim hazelton says:

    A woman was throwing things out
    When she came across feelings of doubt
    For out on the street
    Was her husband named Pete
    And now she was missing the lout.

  38. Ira Bloom says:

    My lumbar I often throw out,
    When dancing. If I twist, I shout.
    Salsa gives me such pain,
    Tango causes a sprain,
    And the limbo? Just fuhgettabout.

  39. Ira Bloom says:

    That slovenly barfly goes out,
    With a guy who’s a letch and a lout.
    He’s not much or a catch,
    But at least she can’t kvetch,
    ‘Bout his poor taste in women, no doubt.

  40. Ira Bloom says:

    In my youth I had cause to go out,
    With a gal with a merciless pout,
    Those lips she would purse,
    In a manner so terse,
    To this day I can’t look at a trout.

  41. Ira Bloom says:

    My veggies I’d try to throw out.
    When my mom made me eat them, I’d pout.
    Belchin’ endive caused blemish,
    But what made me Flegmish,
    Was facing a lone Brussels Sprout.

  42. Byron Ives says:

    This gal had it all figured it out:
    Her sex life had long been a drought
    “I’ll visit a tavern”
    “Find meat for my cavern”
    “But probably settle for trout”

  43. Byron Ives says:

    An agent was going all out
    To capture an old Nazi kraut
    At the chophouse he waited
    But the kraut had vacated
    Still, what a well done steak-out

  44. Byron Ives says:

    His accent he couldn’t work out
    He said ‘proud’, which sounded like ‘prout’
    His girlfriends weren’t rattled
    At his speech when he prattled
    As he ‘claimt’ he was very ‘endowt’

  45. Byron Ives says:

    The umpire had just called him out
    The player then called him a lout
    “A lout? You’re ejected”
    “You once were respected”
    “Now your talent to curse is in doubt”

  46. A fellow was going all out
    Trying to avoid his wife’s snooty pout
    Just ‘cause he forgot her birthday
    Playing poker did get in the way
    She complained to all “he’s a lout”

  47. Sue Dulley says:

    When Lady Macbeth shouted “Out,
    Dam-ned spot!” she was talking about
    Not some dog in her house
    But the blood which her spouse
    Had from Duncan (the king) caused to spout.

  48. Tim James says:

    A Congressman liked to make out
    With the gals in his office, the lout!
    ‘Til one day when he met
    The girls’ boyfriends. I’ll bet
    That he’s learned a new meaning of “clout.”

  49. colonialist says:

    A fellow was going ‘all out’
    In flashing his assets about;
    Girls said, ’My, oh my,
    There’s a worm on your fly –
    No doubt you can fly-fish for trout!’

  50. Byron Ives says:

    This polar vortex makes it cold out
    I grabbed both my balls and I strolled out
    I was totally bent
    To get myself spent
    And now in the alley I’m bowled out

  51. brian miller says:

    a fellow would often go out
    to hear the poetry shout
    until he got tired
    and soon retired
    now only stories come out his mouth

  52. HisFireFly says:

    a woman was throwing things out
    worry and anger and doubt
    they did her no good
    so she thought that she should
    learn what living free was all about

  53. A woman would often go out
    All she would do was shout
    Such a loud mouth broad
    And she smells like a cod
    Someone please shut up her snout

  54. Ira Bloom says:

    The stains in my toilet come out,
    When I scrub, with a toothbrush, the grout.
    It’s the least I can do,
    For the place where I poo,
    Hence my cleaning is rather devout.

  55. Dousing the Cookout

    Yet that fellow her friends thought a lout
    Finally showed her her friends, without doubt,
    Suffer co-misery,
    Just as angst-filled as she–
    Then he dumped that whole coterie out!

  56. Craig says:

    The prisoner yelled “Let me out!
    This jail cell’s the lamest!, no doubt!
    It’s gaudy and jokey –
    This here “hokey pokey”
    Can NOT be what it’s all about!”

  57. P Diane Schneider says:

    The prisoner sneaked his way out
    Intending to go “walkabout”
    But found it so cold
    Was not quite so bold
    And begged to return with a pout

  58. Byron Ives says:

    Slowly, I pulled the knife out
    No blood? Now what’s this about?
    Shouldn’t it be spurting?
    I found myself blurting
    Oh, duh! I’m just gutting a trout

  59. A woman would often go Out
    wITh A man she never knew..
    That woman’s husband was a
    24 year old habit she could not
    BREak..Love’s a bitch sometimeS

  60. Diane Groothuis says:

    A SEASONAL LIMERICK:
    I usually like to go out
    That is when the nice weather’s about
    But up near Niagara
    I’d need help from viagra
    To make life worth talking about.

  61. Byron Ives says:

    Ending a sentence with ‘out’?
    Against all the rules, no doubt
    But do rules apply
    When it’s rhymes I ply?
    If so, stick this poem up your snout

  62. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Mama ogre could not figure out
    Why her son screwed his snout in a pout:
    “Bud, you drool at the scent
    Of a sapling from Ghent,
    So why not for a nice Brussels sprout?”

  63. Diane Groothuis says:

    Baby ogre refused to go out
    And he just didn’t like Brussel Sprout.
    When Mom asked “What’s the matter?”
    He started to chatter
    “I’ve got something wrong with my spout.”.

  64. Johanna Richmond says:

    Chris Christie’s Press Conference on The Bridge Lane Shutdown

    “I’m too trusting — my secret is out –
    And too genuine, lovable, stout…
    But a bully? Vindictive?
    My wounded heart fictive?
    That’s not what Chris Christie’s about!

    I am sad and so very depressed;
    Tell me, how could I EVER have guessed
    That my dep chief of staff
    Would have made such a gaffe
    I cut loose that dead weight — thought it best.

    As you know, folks, I don’t blow my cork.
    To the fellow who differs: Hey dork,
    If you think you felt pain
    When I shut down your lane,
    You should see what I do with a fork!”

  65. Charley Simmons says:

    The fisherman tried all his lures out,
    Trying to catch an old wile trout.
    But, the trout would swim by,
    And just give him the eye.
    So he screamed and ran home to pout .

  66. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A virginal girl ventured out
    To find out what sex was about
    A young German caught her
    And not only taught her
    To f..k, but to eat sauerkraut

  67. Dr. Goose says:

    Gone Out

    A woman would often go out
    And the rules of decorum she’d flout.
    Though by day she became
    An exemplary dame,
    That’s not what this rhyme is about.

    Afraid that her man would find out
    That her virtue was rather in doubt,
    To hide from his eyes
    She donned a disguise
    With a wig and a sizable snout.

    At midnight, thusly turned out,
    In the club she would frolic about.
    When men asked to dance
    She would fondle their pants,
    She said, “For avoidance of doubt.”

    Then fin’lly her game was found out
    As her husband could cleverly scout:
    “It may well look to you
    Like you’ve tried something new
    But I’m not such a tender young sprout.”

  68. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    This old fellow would always be out
    Chasing the girlies about
    When he was a boy
    Now his pride and joy
    Is only a water spout.

  69. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    When your old you never get out
    And it plays merry hell with your spout
    What once was a doodle
    Now resembles a noodle
    As for sex, there’s really a drought.

  70. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    The newly weds thinking was out
    Switching KY and Putty about
    The result was a block
    In the eye of his cock
    And all their windows fell out.

  71. I’ve thought that “ought” ought to be *out*
    (We never say *drawt* — we say *drought*).
    But if you get caught
    Not pronouncing it “aught”,
    Doughty laughter will follough, nough doughbt.

  72. One day, he just let it hang out,
    Good taste and good manners to flout.
    But he soon realized
    He was way undersized,
    So he zipped up and went home to pout.

  73. Well, I’m glad that my daughter goes out
    With a man who is truly devout.
    I looked in on them: He’s
    Got her down on her knees…
    “God! Oh, God!” I keep hearing him shout.

  74. Johanna Richmond says:

    A new antidepressant’s come out,
    One your men-friends are likely to tout.
    And you won’t go bone dry
    If you blow your supply;
    It’s renewable — rarely a drought.

  75. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winners, the Limerick Saga Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 147.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Advance.