Limerick Snake (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman encountered a snake…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here are my two limericks:

Snake Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman encountered a snake
And wondered just what it would take
To catch it and kill it,
Then drizzle and grill it,
Or perhaps add some pastry and bake.

and

A woman encountered a snake–
Not a reptile — a man on the make.
In response to his hype,
She said, “I know your type.
Your style is I give and you take.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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67 Responses to “Limerick Snake (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Ailsa McKillop says:

    On a hill he encountered a snake.
    So his brother a photo could take
    He then held it aloft!
    Were both in the head soft?
    They soon knew his big, big mistake …

  2. John Sardo says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    Whose drinks would make her head ache.
    She downed them with glee
    And then went to pee.
    In the restroom she took a long break.

  3. John Sardo says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    In a bar where thirst she would slake
    The snake then said “hi”
    Some drinks I will buy.
    If to bed you allow me to take.

    A woman encountered a snake
    She told him his drink she would take.
    She downed it with zest
    And then told the pest
    “Why don’t you go jump in a lake.”

  4. John Sardo says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    Who showed her a fruit to betake.
    She gobbled it up
    Then took some to sup.
    Where Adam would also partake.

  5. Chris Papa says:

    His organ she thought as of snake,
    To charm it, would flautist work make,
    And play skillful tune,
    To get it up soon,
    For rock and roll that made bed quake.

  6. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    And got an idea for a fake!
    I’ll dress as Medusa,
    My costume will woo ya!
    In each contest, first prize I will take!

  7. Mark Kane says:

    A woman in need of a snake
    To unclog her pipes, laid awake.
    She pictured a plumber,
    With skills of a drummer,
    Removing her ache with each quake.

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman encountered a snake:
    A slithery man on the make.
    He’d promise the moon,
    To get you to swoon.
    So easy to tell he’s a fake.

  9. Ailsa McKillop says:

    My Durbaner friend found a snake
    On a bookshelf all cosy, land’s sake!
    The door it was shown!
    Never more will I moan
    About house spiders making me quake …

  10. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    As she was swimming by the lake
    It was rather small
    Attached to only one ball
    After she beat it back with a rake

  11. Craig says:

    The guest had a very large snake
    And was feeding it pieces of cake.
    But the host said, “Ya know
    It seems in-apropos
    To be bringing your pet to a wake.”

  12. rbasler says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    In some batter she started to bake
    She gasped, and said, “Whoa!
    “I’m baking a boa!
    “Prepare to be hugged by a cake!”

  13. Craig says:

    The writer’s as dumb as a snake,
    He’s unclear what a good lim will take.
    Her rhymes gives me terrors
    Plus grammatical errors
    And more than one speling misteak.

  14. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man in the House is a snake
    Who revels in others’ heartache.
    Why do any work?
    Just hold forth! You big jerk;
    You’ve no concept of true give and take.

  15. A woman encountered a snake
    who kept saying what fruit to take.
    And then with a bite
    she set legacies alight
    for artists like Milton and Blake.

  16. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    which she took home their dinner to make
    But when hubby espied
    he so rightly cried,
    “That’s not what goes in Shake and Bake!”

  17. Rich D says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    she quickly concluded was fake
    “Who heard of a bone
    made of silicone?
    It’s perky, but squishy to shake!”

  18. Rich D says:

    A plumber was using his snake
    a seriously fatal mistake
    while drilling her pipes
    he shouted out “yipes!
    your chomping just caused it to break!”

  19. Rich D says:

    That Ted’s such an unabashed snake
    who leaves shaking heads in his wake
    he thinks he’s a teacher
    but acts like the preacher
    from tv we all know is fake

  20. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    And cooed to it, offering cake:
    Your pattern is stunning,
    I find you quite cunning!
    …Six people attended her wake.

  21. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    In tight jeans with slick hair, on the make.
    She sneered, slid on by
    But he gave her the eye:
    “Hey, mama, you got a nice shake

    To that ass — wanna gimme a try?”
    She retorted, “No way, and here’s why:
    There’s clean sheets on my bed,
    Where I don’t want that head —
    Neither one. So just zip up that fly.”

  22. Phyllis L says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    Which offered her some chocolate cake
    “Forbidden! My diet!”
    She said, “Or I’d try it.”
    Eve’s making no Eden mistake.

  23. Rich D says:

    At Craig’s home there once was a snake
    who asked, “Have you got a corn flake?”
    At first, he was balking
    at serpentine talking
    but not once did he double-take

    So, “Frankly,” he said to sir snake
    “I sure as hell hope you’re not fake.
    Let’s go take a walk
    and have us a talk
    and freak out a neighbor’s clam bake!”

  24. Phyllis L says:

    (revision – dropping the word “some”)

    A woman encountered a snake
    Which offered her chocolate cake
    “Forbidden! My diet!”
    She said, “Or I’d try it.”
    Eve’s making no Eden mistake.

  25. Tim James says:

    A woman encountered a “snake”…
    Oh, let’s not be coy, fer cripes sake!
    Speaking plainly, she had
    Quite a well-endowed lad,
    Torrid sexual cravings to slake.

  26. Fred Bortz says:

    IN OLD DODGE CITY

    In the Gunsmoke Saloon sat a snake
    Hooting, “Gals, give those bustles a shake.”
    Marshall Dillon (Arness)
    Put him under duress,
    Pleasing Miss Kitty (A. Blake).

    “Yer a varmint,” she said to the snake,
    “But I reckon I’ll give ya a break
    If you buy us a round
    And the sizzling two-pound
    Extra rare juicy Porterhouse steak.”

    “You mistake me, Fair Lady,” said Snake.
    “I’ve arrived after my darling’s wake.
    I need female charms
    For she died in my arms,
    When I shot her for being a fake.”

    “I found in her panties a snake,
    But I do I not regret my mistake.
    She hid it so well
    So I never could tell
    When she offered to play pat-a-cake.”

  27. Fred Bortz says:

    After Eden, the slithery snake
    Admitted to God his mistake.
    But as much as he begged
    To be once again legged
    The Divine wouldn’t give him a break.

  28. Rich D says:

    St. Paddy, he espied a snake
    at Seamus McFinnegan’s wake
    “You filthy old lout!
    I once drove you out!
    Returning’s a fatal mistake!”

  29. Rich D says:

    There once was a venomous snake
    Who had him a nasty toothache
    “Frick, frack, and dang!
    I’m down to one fang!
    They’ll laugh at me down at the lake!”

  30. yt cai says:

    Matilda injected a snake
    Down under twas all she could take
    Squeezed hard on the head
    Til she thought is was dead
    Tried once more upon its next wake

  31. John Peter Larkin says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    in the woods on a brief potty break.
    When her friends heard her screams,
    they said, “it’s not what it seems.”
    Turns out that the snake was a fake.

  32. Diane Groothuis says:

    One day I encountered a snake
    And the sight of it caused me to quake
    It was long, thin and brown
    And showing a frown,
    It said “If there’s no bread give me cake”

  33. Diane Groothuis says:

    Very much feared is the snake
    In Australia we call them “Joe Blake”
    It’s the way that we’re made
    Not to call spade a spade
    But we make up what rhyme we can make.

  34. P Diane Schneider says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    While sunning herself at the lake
    He asked her to dine
    And told her a line
    The snake, named Jake, was a rake.

  35. Tom Hale says:

    A woman encountered a snake,
    Then shook her poor husband awake.
    She asked, “Were you kiddin?
    Is this fruit forbidden?”
    “Eve! Put that thing down, for God’s sake!”

  36. P Diane Schneider says:

    The Dems encountered a snake
    Promoting for Tea Party’s sake
    To cut medical care
    And even he’d dare
    From mouths of babes would he take

  37. A woman encountered a snake
    So a soup she decided to make
    Met a croc, made a stew
    Now her boyfriend’s untrue
    And she’s thinking a brisket she’ll bake

  38. “We all hate the Gov” hissed the snake
    Vote for me, and it back, I will take
    But the snake, who was sly
    Had in fact, told a lie
    His intent was, this country, to break!

    Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the snake
    Said “Your freedom’s the thing that’s at stake”
    While his plan, which is real
    Is your freedom, to steal
    Tread upon in his Tea Party’s wake

    So, beware the forked tongue of the snake
    Randall Paul and Ted Cruz for him spake
    They grandstand, filibust,
    Neither man should you trust
    To be gullible is our mistake

    David Koch is the name of the snake
    There’s a hunger he never will slake
    And he’ll make us all bleed
    For his corporate greed.
    Head him not, or your future forsake!

  39. Souris Krauss says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    “Adam, I think it’s a fake
    She went on to snare
    An apple to share
    And went to the oven to bake snake.

  40. Fred Bortz says:

    An old lady swallowed a snake.
    Down her gullet it slithered to take
    The mouse she’d ingested,
    Which in hindsight suggested
    Her luncheon choice was a mistake.

    She claimed she had swallowed the snake
    To cure an intestinal ache
    Caused by cheese, oh so potent,
    That she swallowed a rodent
    When her bowel had started to quake.

    Alas, t’was the end of the snake,
    Which was stuck in the old lady’s trache.
    Yes the poor woman died
    With the snake still inside.
    Both were mourned at the very same wake.

  41. Koni Ramm says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    While in the process of making a cake
    The bowl dropped with a clatter
    Spilling all of the batter
    Of which the snake did gladly partake

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    A woman encountered a snake-
    Like organ of boyfriend named Jake.
    She slipped it inside;
    In-out it did glide
    While making the gal shake and quake.

  43. Jim says:

    The Woman’s Snake;
    Two Limericks

    A woman encountered a snake
    Then it was Hubby, get the rake
    Dad got his rake and spade
    He raked the snake and prayed
    And flayed the snake now in the lake

    - – -

    A woman encountered a snake
    who said, “Of the apple please take”
    and promised her the world
    Shared with Adam, they whirled,
    were gone. God did evacuate

  44. brian miller says:

    a woman encountered a snake
    as a cake she was trying to bake
    she took out a knife
    and ended its life
    a eunuch her husband she did make

  45. Craig says:

    Here’s a lim’rick I wrote ’bout a snake.
    It’s what Madeleine asked us to make.
    But the keyword this time
    Was a bugger to rhyme –
    Maybe next week she’ll cut us a break.

  46. Souris Krauss says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    She asked Adam what it might take
    To fulfill her urge
    To create a merge
    For his steak and her bellyache

  47. at my front door there happened a snake
    tried to chase it off with a rake
    he spurt and he hissed
    which got me real pissed
    got my pistol, he left in a quake

  48. HisFireFly says:

    a woman encountered a snake
    a real one with poison, not fake
    and as she lay dying
    we heard her soft crying
    Oh Lord, my soul now please take

  49. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Eve thought she’d encountered a snake
    But soon found she’d made a mistake
    For twas Adam the masher
    The original flasher
    Out and about on the make

  50. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    While taking a swim in the lake
    You could tell it had caught her
    Sexual quarter
    By the ecstatic squeals she did make.

  51. Manicddaily says:

    Hey Madeleine! I was just visiting for the fun, but let me see if I can come up with something quickly–

    A country encountered a snake
    of countenance patently fake–
    as he Cruzed for more power
    he spoke hour on hour
    pretending he was not a flake.

    k

  52. kaykuala says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    She was confused on what to make
    He was decent
    Looked innocent
    A dark secret hidden, what a fake!

    Hank

  53. Jen says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    And her maidenhead he yearned to take
    With urgent quick patter
    He quickly did spatter
    Not recognising a fake.

  54. OwenKL says:

    A woman encountered a snake;
    She found it was rubber and fake.
    She switched in a real one,
    Then sat back to see fun
    When the prankster retrieved his mistake.

  55. Diane Groothuis says:

    A charmer was coaxing a snake
    With the sounds that his pungi could make
    The music was mellow
    But this crafty fellow
    Knew the snake has no ears so its fake.

  56. shanyn says:

    Fall roads are deadly to the snake.
    The truck tires pound, a flat snake to make.
    I stop for them all you know.
    Moving them gently, go! Go!
    They need protection, the garter snake.

  57. Tom Harris says:

    Young Eve was enticed by a snake,
    The one they call Satan, the rake.
    He led her astray
    One chilly fall day
    And then she donned clothes, for God’s sake.

  58. Diane Groothuis says:

    We’ve found a new use for a snake
    As our plumbing is clogged up with cake
    A spring down the pipe
    To remove all the gripe
    And soap scum and toothpaste and slake

  59. Tom Harris says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    In the grass by the edge of the lake.
    He suggested they sin
    She said, “I’m all in.”
    They frolicked and caused an earthquake.

  60. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman encountered a snake
    While neat’ning her yard with a rake.
    “Not usually, heres,
    Do I find you, my dears.
    Finish wat’ring; can’t wait for our break!”

  61. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman encountered a snake –
    Rolled her eyes, sighed, “Oh, give me a break.
    You, again, in our Garden!”
    “Eve, I beg your pardon:
    For years, you’ve been wanting to take

    Me up on my red-apple offer,”
    He hissed. “But your Adam’s a scoffer.
    You’ll have all-knowing wisdom!
    Let your man just stay fat, dumb.”
    [Some say the snake wanted to boff her.]

  62. Radnofi Pladzitcki says:

    A Ranee rode a big trouser snake
    In the darkness down by the lake
    It was considerably larger
    Than her husbands, The Rajah
    So made the most of all she could take

  63. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A couple had fun with their snake
    In the bedroom: they’d give it a shake
    And exclaim at its length.
    She’d coo, “Feel Snakey’s strength!
    And the puddle you’ve managed to make.”

  64. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman once had a pet snake
    Which to all the big parties she’d take.
    Both a glitter, they dined
    Round her limbs snake entwined,
    While she’d eye every guy she would make.

  65. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman once worked for a snake
    In the grass, just an ass on the take:
    Totally superficial,
    An elected official.
    She soon quit for her sanity’s sake.

  66. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A pert Asian woman met Snake,
    She, new here; he, lustful and fake.
    “Prease, you give directions
    To Office of Erections?”
    He leered, “You, I’ll pers’nally take.”

  67. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 135.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Peek.